The Seduction Room Ladies, you've been dating a great guy. He's everything you've ever dreamed of. You're thinking he may be "the one." You decide that tonight's the night you will make mad passionate love with him. He opens the door to his bedroom and this is what you see. How do you react?

How you can break Murphy's Law "There's grim news for people who worry that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong. A new mathematical formula has proved Murphy's Law really does strike at the worst possible time."

River of Gold. Installation of The Gates, a project by the artist Christo has begun. Like any public art, the project has been met with criticism, though perhaps in this case more for its timing than its content. Nevertheless, for 16 days, the saffron fabric will look quite striking against the grey winter environment. Then it will be gone without leaving a trace. more inside

If I had just married a supermodel, I would have protected her from the rain. Or the panic caused thereby.

Monkey Meter Road Rage Rate and see how you city's Road Rage index is.

God Hates Rags And so should you. more inside

Amber Alert for the Panchen Lama of Tibet.

Drinkometer 2 - are you very, very drubk? Would you like to be? How about just simulating it? Then try this crappy old FLASH simulation where you can get pissed, squeeze the barmaid's tits, & have shitty novelty products hawked at you. This is my life in a nutshell. more inside

picture this: Bill gates on a podium presenting his latest product. The crowd anxiously awaits the first glance at truly revolutionary software, he points, he clicks, and then...THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH! he he he

Subservient Blair - First there was subservient Chicken, then there was uh.. that subservient bit of totty, then there was subservient President. Now Tony B.Liar gets the treatment. Tell him to be honest.

Most popular names of 2004 (pdf) in England and Wales. 'Mohammed' is now in the top 20. Informal or abbreviated versions - 'Jack', 'Charlie' - are ever more popular. And while a great name like, say 'Peter' doesn't feature, the top 50 includes names like 'Toby' - surely best suited to dogs (or jugs). As for the girls...

Work Poopers of the World, Unite! Stand up (eh, I mean sit down) for your right to take a magazine to the employee's restroom!

The Periodic Table of Comic Books

The Command Line in 2004: An updated and reader-annotated version of the original essay, "In the Beginning...was the Command Line" by author Neal Stephenson. Full text of the original essay, with extra notes applicable to today's world added by reader, Garrett Birkel. more inside

Polish Jazz

CNN fires Tucker Carlson and kills their regular Crossfire program. Jon Stewart's ruckus appears to have won him converts at the highest executive levels at CNN. Dare one hope for the US cable media again, or is President Jonathan Klein merely flipping his flops? Fans of the Bowtied Wonder need not worry: Carlson has a new show on the ultra right-wing PBS (wait, WHAT?!) and there are rumors that he'll land a sweet gig at MSNBC.

Nineteenth Century German Stories
I'm especially taken with the work of Busch and Hoffmann.

Soothly we live in mighty years! A recent post in Language Hat links to an online version of Poul Anderson's "Atomic Theory", but it leaves out all non-germanic loan words that English has imported since (I think) pre-Anglo-Saxon days. Uncleftish Beholding "shows what English would look like if it were purged of its non-Germanic words, and used German-style compounds instead of borrowings to express new concepts." more inside

Dude! Duuude...Awww

Curious George: high mobility from laptop / notebook I'm wondering if the Monkeys have any suggestions for a high-end laptop / notebook with excellent 'use-it-any-damn-where-you-like-pal' features? more inside