January 06, 2005

• "..he always, and I mean ALWAYS, asked if I had come yet within the first 20 seconds of initiating sex.." Whaaat? That's insane. First of all, You don't ask. If you can't tell (and you should be able to fucking tell) then you shouldn't ask. Jesus, the only question I have to ask is "did you just cum again???"
• As for taking a dump at work, that is up to the dumper. I mean.. some people suddenly just have to go. It could be dangerous. You could tear something.
• Considering the types of places I've worked (factories, warehouses, etc.), there's no way I'm putting my butt-cheeks down on one of those unspeakably filthy toilet seats. I'll hold it, thank you.
• Let's hope the magazine was his own. A bloke at a place I used to w**k, used to take the lunchroom newspaper to the bog, then bring it back after a few minutes. I never used the toilet or read the newpaper there again.
• I'll admit it: I have a very strong aversion to deuce-ing in public. There. I said it. If you ever see me rushing into a stall in a public bathroom, you'd better watch out, because you can be sure that it's going to be a real doozy. I'm just saying.
• In terms of women's bathroom actions - I too have been struck by the fact that some will STOP PEEING when you enter. Or people who flush the toilet to cover the sound of urination. Okay, some people are nervous pee-ers, but still. Another etiquette point - I've always felt that if you're going to carry on a conversation with someone while you pee (in seperate stalls, obvs.), it should be someone you know fairly well. It's always interesting to see which coworkers and casual aquaintances will initiate or continue a conversation while we're in the stalls and which ones won't.
• I can't imagine holding it when you have to go - to the point of only pooping at home - that causes problems. I never heard of people doing such a thing until I was in college, and it mystifies me just as much now as it did then. After seeing this yesterday, I dug back in the Dooce archives and amused my husband to tears reading out A Story About Someone Else's Ass and The Great Poop Debate.
• The only time I've ever been constipated is way way back when I was takin too many drugs and I got constipated (cos thats what speed & painkillers does to ya), finally at a gig, I drank 3 pints of Guinness, which is a magical elixir that will cure ANYTHING, I felt the urge to go, pooped and I tore my ass cos the turd was so huge. I only tore it a little bit, mind you, but there you go. It hurt like FUCKING HELL. God knows how gay guys take mandingo dick up there. Lube, I suppose. The other time, this was in the middle ages, 1987, I wasn't really constipated, but I'd been to Glastonbury festival for several days, and there was NO WAY I was using the totally filthy and beyond repugnant toilets. So with the help of copious acid & painkilling squidgy black hashish, I held my shit for 6 days. Finally, in Bristol Bus depot, I unloaded, and it took TWO DUMPS. One load was only half what I had on board, see. Flush. Dump again, flush. Flush. Flush, ah finally it went down. Shitting is fun. A poem from Aleister Crowley: There once was a doctor named Zammit, Who said take your big cock and rammit Up my big fat behind, I'm out of my mind, Cos you're fucking my fistula, dammit.
• Now I killed the thread.
• It needed killing... WAY too much information!
• There were 24 instances of the word "poop" in that article.
• monkeyfilter: It could be dangerous. You could tear something we have a special "poo poo loo" in my office. it's a locking bathroom with a shower and a toilet and sink, with an *exhaust fan* and spray air freshener. on the door it says, "poo poo loo, woo!" i like my office. oh, and nostril, thanks for sharing! that toilet in Glastonbury, was it like that "worst toilet in the world" in "trainspotting"? heh.
• I recently had a great conversation with two of the nieces (ages 9 & 12) about poop and Harry Potter. We decided it would be hilarious if everyone in the books cast spells by popping turds instead of waving wands about. The Chamber of Secrets takes on a whole new layer of meaning in that context.
• They were, without exaggeration, far worse than the bog in trainspotting, SideDish, ol' pal. Basically tin tubes into a latrine pit, with the piles of shit staring up at you, the touchable surfaces in the stall all smeared with blood, bodily fluids and various other excrescences.
• Nostril ... whaaaaat? the slam-door bogs at Glastonbury are part of its charm ... some warm cider, a few spliffs and then you find the seat all nicely warmed from the sun and you let yourself go. aaaaaah lovely ... Mind you ... it makes the whole experience a lot more pleasant if you have wet-wipes. And I guess they clean them better these days ... I think I was too scared to dump at Glasto in 1987! Never - ever go in one of the portaloos ... there I'm with you What is this 'taking a poop' business anyway??? d'ya mean shitting?
• Technically you don't "take" a poop...you LEAVE a poop.
• Never go into the portaloos with Nostril and dickdotcom.
• Never go into the portaloos with Nostril and dickdotcom. Well, there go my vacation plans. Crap.
• We're not allowed to poop on the job? Are we still allowed to defile ourselves on company time?
• you guys just deserve this.... sheesh Froogle search for poop.
• Here's a true story. As I was hitching a ride to Glastonbury the first time, in '87, the bloke that gave us (me & me' mate) a lift out of Canterbury was a cheery chap, nice fellow. Industrial chemist, he told us. After a bit of banter, I said, what exactly do you do in industrial chemistry, what's your specific 'thing'. He says "oh, I examine sewage." We chuckled. I said, "oh, does that mean little test tubes of shit?" He replies, "no, big plastic bins of sewage. Matter of fact, the boot [trunk] has three big tubs of shit in it right now." Great guy.
• I absolutely, positively LOATE dropping one in a public lavatory. That being said, however, there are degrees of these things: Gas Stations or Fast Food Restaurants, Beach bathrooms, or just about any high-traffic public restroom in the US: dire emergencies only. Work, low-traffic public restrooms (like hoity-toity department stores): if I'm too far or too long from home, I'll go. But if I can hold on, comfortably, mind you, I will wait until home.
• A thread where we can talk about our defecating habits. Wow. I love this place. (NSFW)Rate My Poo, kinda like Am I Hot or Not, only different.
• Melinika, that link to "A Story About Someone Else's Ass" nearly had me in tears. Problem is, I'm at work. Laughing so hard it makes you cry is kind of hard to hide. But thanks anyway.
• Monkeys do it on the golf course.
• this thread is teh sh1+