Childless Couple told to Get Fucked A German couple visiting a fertility clinic after eight years of childless marriage discovered why they weren't bearing crotch-fruit - they weren't doing it. Yes, it sounds like an urban legend, & yes it's from Ananova so it probably is, but I couldn't pass up the chance of using that title which I also stole from a commentor on Bifurcated Rivets which is also where I pinched the link. So screw me.. I mean sue me. Your pal, Nostril. more inside

Monkey College. [via Fark]

Live Nude Cats YES, I am 18 months or older, show me LIVE NUDE CATS. (NSFW)

Desktop Gaming
Gorgeous videogame wallpaper. I've been alternating between this (damn dog!) and this for the past month. more inside

Operation: Take One For the Team more inside

I always wanted to be the Professor: Now there's a show for me! "Can you make a telephone out of a coconut? Have you dreamed of being stranded on a deserted island with a movie star?" The creators of a new Gilligan's Island Reality Series are recruiting a Professor to join their real-life skipper, first mate, millionaire couple, Kansas farm girl and movie star in this exciting new reality show. Any and all academic backgrounds considered. via Annals of Improbable Research

Accidental Art. Found Photographs. From Chicago. It's about how we lived

Commercials From The Eighties. Warning: Nostalgia, Remorse, and .Wmv files...

History is Made. Don't know how many of you monkeys are sports fans, but this should be recorded for posterity. Randy Johnson has become the oldest pitcher in history to pitch a perfect game. In a sport that gets to be more and more broken every year, it's the legends that keep it breathing. more inside

Jon Stewart's commencement speech at William & Mary

STOP THE PRESSES! Martha Stewart-brand matches recalled because they may ignite and cause a "fire hazard." Really.

Marketing with an attitude. (NSFW if your boss has good reading glasses)

The Cruelty of British Kids If you're from the UK, and of an age, you will almost certainly have called someone - or have been called - a "Joey", a "Deacon", or suchlike. Now there's an irreverent tribute to the man himself, complete with pictures of people who really should have grown up to recognise that they were nasty, not funny.

The best car in the world.

Your birth certificate may be worth $1,000,000 "Lutfee Abdul Waalee, convicted of trying to pass a fake U.S. Treasury check for $25 million, is a member of a black separatist group called the Moors who believe in the 'redemption theory.' That's the notion that the United States has been trading birth certificates on the open market as a form of capital since 1933 and that citizens can 'redeem' the value of their accounts and write gigantic checks." more inside

Canned laughter box. Ever wonder about the canned laughter heard on Brady Bunch, Bewitched, M*A*S*H, The Flintstones, et al? It was brought to you by the Mackenzie Program Repeater, an outgrowth of the early 1960s organlike Laff Box (an obscure device -- I could find no original resources online!) Its most popular use was to provide canned laughter in 1960s and 1970s sitcoms. Around 1975 networks found that it was better to pony up a real studio audience, casting these devices into the shadows. (Also see an interesting quantification on audience laughter!)

Gambian rodents risk death for bananas.

Shake that ass and let me see what you got
Seems like a natural for BLORT if you ask me. This one's all about the Machine Man cameo.

The infamous DiMelza Painting. (shudder). * Warning * Disturbing image that will haunt your dreams. Oh yea, there's actually a nice photolog as well.

The Condiment Packet Museum. Free. Edible. Art.