Letter of Warning: Don't share your office computer's C drive on Kazaa. US Postal Service disciplinary letters found on Kazaa, quoted at length here in all their (frequently ridiculous and nitpicky) glory. (via Fark)

Whoa! Crazy sound experiments. Flash.

The cat bathtub. More of a canine fan? Then here are some "Songs to Make Dogs Happy."

Doublethink. Congress is in session. Two particular items of interest this time around are the expiration of the assault weapon ban and the INDUCE Act. more inside

Rolling Stone: The Curse of Dick Cheney Before you tell someone else to "Go [expletive deleted] yourself", brush up on your Dick.

Pencil carving: when drawing is just too easy. more inside

Bomb blast rocks Australian embassy THE Australian embassy in Jakarta was damaged by a powerful explosion that blew up vehicles in front of the complex. At least three people were killed.

The next World Beard and Moustache Championships will take place in Berlin, Germany on October 1, 2005. The organizers of this event, the Berlin Beard Club, claim that this is the biggest party in Germany, bigger even than Oktoberfest. C'mon monkeys, not much time remains, think like your patas brethren and let that fur grow!

I thought The Onion was supposed to FUNNY not prophetic. It is truly amazing to review how much they got right-on-the-head (Jan. 18, 2001). Who says you can't make stuff like this up?

NSFW!!! The site's in German i think...but words are redundant - the pictures tell the whole story!! i can't get over the cricket jumper!

Comparison of life in Piscataway, New Jersey; Kochi, Japan; and Zhuzhou, Hunan Province, China
via MR.PANTS (who's updating far too rarely for my taste). I'd love to see some of our transplanted monkeys try something like this. Have at!

Curious George: I Need New Music! I haven't gotten a new CD in about four months. What do you recommed? I like pretty much anything (rock, jazz, hip hop, classical, whatever). more inside

New York Times Link Generator Attention monkeys: the New York Times link generator is a handy tool for bloggers that can post New York Times articles without readers having to register to NY Times. So monkeys please use it when you post that liberal media paper to Monkeyfilter. The link generator is also handy for reading articles over a year old and not having to pay the $2.99 fee.

Schott's Food & Drink Miscellany. "It is gratifying to learn that humble pie is no mere expression. There really was such a thing, a dish made with venison offal, or humbles, a word that derived from the French word for deer entrails, nombles. Mr. Schott thoughtfully includes a 17th-century recipe, which sounds delicious, much more appealing than a restaurant's roast camel 'English style,' one of several dishes served on Christmas at Voisin in 1870, when Paris was under siege. more inside

Congress decides that after 200+ years serious changes to the constitution needed... (NY Time link. registration required) In the upcomming session of Congress it is expected that the House will vote on the gay marriage ammendment, the Senate will vote on a Flag Burning Ammendment, and law is expected to be introduced that will, "prohibiting courts from hearing challenges to the wording of the Pledge of Allegiance" not to mention the good old " series of bills intended to limit lawsuits" and no doubt help big buisness get away with whatever they want. What is America the land of again? more inside

Menaced by holy monkeys, Indian villagers call in the contract killers.

E-L-E-P-H-A-N-T-S Elephants, lovely elephants! Put heavy anthropomorphic nonsense to shame. Every lumbering elephantine pachaderm has a noticable trunk seperation. Enough lame elephant posts! Has anyone noticed this silliness? Extroverted, lusty elephants play harmonicas and never tootle saxophones. Electric Light Elephants play haphazardly, are no talent screwballs. European lowland elephants prance happily around tolerant Switzerland. Elephants like enthusiastic parades, harmonicas and nas, tempting silliness. Every little elephant prefers having aligators nearby than skunks. Elegant ladies eating pods harness a nimbose, teleportation syrup. Easy loving elk prowl, horny and needing to screw. Elephants: loathsome ending. Police hang a nordic, techno songstress. E-L-E-P-H-A-N-T-S Everybody likes extreme political harassment against neoconservative trolls, seriously! more inside

Iguana emergencies.

Planet Dan's Senior Photo Collection, Vol. 1 We start with the classic hand on chin pose. Not horrible, considering what is to come, and who doesn't want to be forever remembered as being uncomfortably unnatural looking?

Get a japanese boyfriend. Perhaps you'd rather a geek ? Maybe Ambrose is beginning to look an attractive option.