September 08, 2004

Menaced by holy monkeys, Indian villagers call in the contract killers.
posted by homunculus 20 years ago
  • Doesn't it seem like there are a lot of monkey-rampage related stories these days? Must be sun spots.
  • Poor monkeys! I mean, nobody can be expected to live among violent animals and do nothing about it, but still. Poor monkeys!! Also found on that page: South Korea admits to nuclear experiments
  • Hanuman must be annoyed about this.
  • The three laws of Humanics: 1. A human must protect its own existence. 2. A human must obey orders given it by monkeys except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A human may not injure a monkey or, through inaction, allow a monkey to come to harm except when in conflict with the First or Second Law.
  • "In the more upmarket neighbourhoods of Delhi, when the monkeys invade, residents club together to hire a larger monkey, a langur, to patrol the area. The smaller monkeys are terrified of the tame langurs and move on." Hire a larger monkey!!?? Does it advertise in the Yellow Pages?
  • Those bloody Power Puff Girls again! Curse Professor Utonium!
  • And I thought I had problems what with squirrels knocking over my sunflowers... *counts blessings, using both hands and feet; becomes confused, starts over*