Attndnt : Excuse me sir, there's been a little problem in the cockpit ... Striker : The cockpit ... what is it? Attndnt : It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important now.

At Glow Inc., you can brush up on your glow-in-the-dark terminology, as well as ponder glowy glass and get tips for a glowing car.

Show and tell! Or something like that. The building where I live is for sale. It's so spectacular I just had to show you monkeys. I'm in the first unit, where each time I return home I "Step back in time to the grandeur of a bygone era." My buddies (the owners) live upstairs. Any takers? Ha!

BWHAAAA HA HA HA!!!

Today marks the first installation of a periodic posting titled, "SO? WHAT?" in which we request updates on past threads. Don't keep us in suspense! InfraMonkey, did you ever find a job? Ambrosia, did you find someplace warm? Boo, did the dog shut up? PF, did you meet your true love? Ambrosia, did your stalker depart? And, for a bonus 10 points: Did any monkeys solve the world

I am well aware this is my second FPP today. And I am well aware that it has nothing to do with pee. And I am well aware this is via Presurfer. But you guys HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS. This little video is one of the funniest things I have ever, ever seen on the Internet. That said, possibly/probably NSFW (silly male nudity).

Urine recipe! "The following reagents will be necessary for the preparation of normal human urine." Thank you, National Association of Biology Teachers.

Feel-good site o' the day: "At do-gooder.org, we focus on short-term, measurable projects -- small projects that can be completed -- such as sending 500 books to a library that has been flooded, sending 600 pairs of mittens to orphans in Kazakhstan, sending art supplies to children in Bolivia, providing web design or other media services to a struggling rural cooperative, or volunteering to teach basic computer skills to women in Appalachia." It doesn't collect money, rather you send money or goods directly to each project.

Oh, this is much fun. Schoolchildren illustrate idioms, drawing pictures of "a bee in her bonnet," "a hill of beans," "a penny for your thoughts." One of my faves: What it looks like to "have a crush on someone." Heh.

Long-distance string art. "Take a string. Connect one end to a point on the Earth. Connect the other end to another point on the Earth." A fascinating art project for our SanFran monkeys to check out! (In Frames, under "News" on the left)

Planet Lava, for all your discontinued Lava Lamp and inflatable furniture and glitter lamp and plasma lamp needs ("and, of course, air pumps").

Ladies and gentlemen, warm up those arms. Yes, it's time for the second annual national air-guitar championships! Which culminates in the air-guitar world championships in Finland. Novices and wannabes, check this out.

And now, for those cultured monkeys among us, here are "banana-fied" lyrics to popular Broadway shows, complete with corresponding banana illustration. Bravo!

A basket of sleepy puppies! and fluffy clouds! and cute babies! and happy sunshine! (The preceding has been your official Break From Scary Evil Conspiracy Posts. Feel free to proceed with your day. Thank you.)

Surrealestate: "As the Official Registrar of the Collective Unconscious (TM), we are able to provide you with a title deed to your own unique parcel of this vast ephemeral wilderness." Not to mention a weird computer lady with cleavage and blowy hair speaking to you.

Talking presents! Such as, the condiment holder that screams, "Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, ketchup, mustard, relish, get your fixin's here!"

Snip 'n send! Type in your cell phone number, choose a track from a CD and you got yourself a new ringtune! (Yeah, I know, my second post of the day. It's the Memorial Day holiday in the U.S. and I'm stuck at work. Take pity on me.)

Washington scandal du jour: "A Pentagon e-mail said Vice President Dick Cheney coordinated a huge Halliburton government contract for Iraq, despite Cheney's denial of interest in the company he ran until 2000."

Getting a foot in the door in Iraq.

Feeling saucy, monkeys? Your "words of wisdom" could be published on the nearly 5 billion sauce packets distributed in Taco Bell