Between the lines Cheat sheet for crit-speak.

Domingo to make switch to baritone Pretty bold move at 68!

Procrastinator's clock How irritating.

From the jaws of a shark comes a ripping yarn The shark had the diver's head in its jaws, but marine experts say it chewed him then spat him out when it realised he was not a seal. "He was actually bitten by the head down," said a friend and fellow diver. "The shark swallowed his head."

Michael Brecker dead Great tenor player Michael Brecker has died of leukaemia at 57. He played sessions almost beyond number, including great recordings with Herbie Hancock, John McLaughlin, Joni Mitchell, Charles Mingus, Paul Simon, and the Average White Band, as well as with his brother Randy in the Brecker Brothers. Happy trails, Mr Brecker.

Monkey, know thyself I give you the omniscient quantcast.com

Prisoner confesses to cannibalism A French prisoner has confessed to murdering his cellmate and then eating part of his body. Because you know how it gets some days.

Parasite makes men dumb, women sexy more inside

Head-banging Chinese snakes can predict earthquakes more inside

'Drunken' bishop faces battle to save his job The bishop reportedly staggered home from a function at the Irish embassy on Tuesday night, climbed into the back of a stranger's Mercedes, and started throwing an infant's toys out of the vehicle. Asked to explain himself, he is claimed to have said: "I'm the Bishop of Southwark. It's what I do."

Call that a knife? The new Swiss Army knife contains 85 devices, weighs 2lb and costs nearly £500. But can you actually use it for anything?

Farts spark emergency landing

Yellow skivvy passes on Yellow Wiggle Greg Page quits due to orthostatic intolerance. The new yellow Wiggle is Sam Moran.

Civil war declared in Iraq By NBC

flong.com more inside

No hobbitses for you says New Line to Peter Jackson. more inside

Bush a Grauniad reader although, sadly, not a regular.

Hi tech T-shirt really rocks It's called the WIS - the Wearable Instrument Shirt - and it is tipped to make the air guitar as obsolete as the horse and cart.

The lost sheep Baa! Baa! more inside

Soldat, La Patrie compte sur toi Soldier, the fatherland is counting on you, keep all your strength for it ... Resist the seductions of the street, where this disease which is as dangerous as the war lies in wait for you ... it leads its victims into decadence and useless death without happiness ... Public health posters