You behave yourself, Monkey, while I go grocery shopping. And keep out of those cookies! We're already acquainted with Mr. Monkey; now you can read all about A Year in the Life of a Czech Plush Monkey.

Your Latest Nightmare Meet your new drunk surgeon.

Quran 5:82 : "...and you will find the nearest in love to the [Muslims] those who say: 'We are Christians.' That is because amongst them are priests and monks, and they are not proud."

Ballads! Get yer ballads here! The Bodleian Library in Oxford has put its tremendous collection of broadside ballads online. Searchable by title, first line, subject and a host of other criteria. There's a search thingy for illustrations, too, and many sound files available. more inside

Curious George the hard-up. OK. It's been a while. I'm done with school, and meeting girls at work isn't an option, night classes and continuing ed. courses have yielded nothing, friends aren't coming through on setups, and the local watering holes are all fished out. Time to bow to the inevitable, and trawl the internets. more inside

3.6 billion degrees Fahrenheit. In a lab. (Celcius converter says that's 20 billion degrees? That can't be right. Wacky metrics.) The sun is 15 million Kelvin, this is about 2 Berzillion Kelvin. Oy! That's hot. How'd they do it? more inside

Some parents have been known to go a little overboard when desiring their child-athletes to win.

God Bless the Intarnets How to fuck dolphins. (I'm not accepting credit for this; I found it through Robot Wisdom.)

Schapelle Corby Tours - Surely this can't be for real. more inside

Folk Archive Resource North East "the home of Northumbrian music online". Lots of information and audio introducing one of England's finest folk traditions, including its tunes, instruments and dance styles. more inside

Engineering on ze German tip! Productfilter? Why yes! But I had to throw this out. These new VW ads are funny as hell. The added bonus of random character actor Peter Stormare throwing out bon mots like "drop it like it's hot" in his random, not quite German, not quite Swedish accent just makes them that much funnier. I think these ads are great for extracting the Michael out of all those people that add dumb stuff to their autos.

Russian girl writes letter to Prince William proposing marriage. Through tragic misuse of Google, she ends up addressing the letter to the Prince William County Courthouse in Virginia. Officials go "aaaaaw" and wonder what to do next.

Pop Bubble Wrap! Pop pop pop pop... more inside

Children of the Future

Collecting the wondrously bizarre stories written by children found on elementary school classes' websites.

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Curious George: Flash mp3 Player I am looking for a simple, clean, flash-based mp3 player to profile some of my music on my website. more inside

Hilarious College Students Find Perfect Recipe For Big Laughs! What they do is, hee hee, is they, ha ha, they set CHURCHES ON FIRE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!! more inside

Clinton, Montana's Testicle Festival is but one of many organ-eating-focused events.

Feline outbursts interpreted as speech. Via. more inside

Curious George Is it possible to be addicted to Diet Coke? more inside

One topic two sideswipes Is it wrong to be slow to anger? more inside