Vibrate your way to health. "Stronger. Faster. Smarter. Advanced vibration technology. Maximum results in minimum time: The 10-minute success!" (From the "Sometimes These Things Just Write Themselves" File.) Totally SFW; annoying Flash warning.

Jimmy Hats vs. the Clap On Wednesday's Lou Dobbs Tonight, Florida Rep. David Weldon (R) claimed that condoms "can only protect a man about 30 percent of the time and a woman about 60 percent of the time from contracting gonorrhea." Is that true? The studies I found are epidemiological, not clinical, and don't provide any hard numbers. I'd love to call his office and yell at them, but I want to go in well-armed.

"Hey there. I'm Todd. I'm from Corporate McDonald's. We're trying out a new promotion today."
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Folk medicine - UCLA's searchable database. Or you could try one of these. If all else fails, maybe an Anglo-Saxon charm will sort things out.

The police said it was a joy to produce the photographs of Park caught red-handed.

It's a been a couple of days, time for another L.A. meetup. This coming Thursday (February 24) at 7:00pm. The Liquid Kitty in West L.A. 11780 W. Pico Blvd. Giant Robot (no relation to sexyrobot, as far as I know) isn't too far away, if you want to make the most of your trip to the west side. more inside

Space Tree! more inside

"To those who value the Charter yet oppose the protection of rights for same-sex couples, I ask you: If a prime minister and a national government are willing to take away the rights of one group, what is to say they will stop at that? If the Charter is not there today to protect the rights of one minority, then how can we as a nation of minorities ever hope, ever believe, ever trust that it will be there to protect us tomorrow?" - PM Paul Martin, addressing the Canadian Parliament on same sex marriage and the Charter of Rights. via metafilter.

Hardboiled Detective Slang. You'll be spittin like a shamus in no time.

For all John Cleese fans The real Fawlty Towers! You can vacation there!

homeland security seizes "harmful art" Last time it was Austrians calling US artists immoral.

The "Worst Bridesmaid's Dress" Competition Video link of the Minnesota History Center's fashion show of some of the worst dresses. I have to think the monkeys here had some worse ones... should we win the Star-Tribune's matching contest? If you don't have a photo, at least tell us about the worst one you've had to wear...

So the NHL season is canceled. Who cares? With video games and other exciting options, that reptile in your brain that wants blood can be sated without watching sports. Whether or not video games lead to violence is a moot point. The question is what giant falls next: The NFL? Why pay players? Who needs the real thing when we got game?

SXSW is coming. Is anyone from here going? If you are, I suggest an Austin meetup for monkeys from scattered parts. more inside

Curious George: Dating. Seriously, what's the dating situation like these days? (read on) more inside

To Bell the Cat? Curious George for cat owning monkeys - help! Remember the rat? This morning it was a bird, quite alive, pretty large, caught & carried inside somehow in the 10 minutes between my opening the pet door for the day and getting dressed. Has anyone ever put a bell on their cat? Did it work? I'm worried that he might hang himself, and I remember a cat we had when I was a kid who would just lose his collar every day until we gave up. Hints, suggestions, commiserations, thoughts?

Just in case atom bombs fall - a hand book for civilians

Reminder: Ottawa Meetup Ottawa Meetup: the date is upon us. We meet tomorrow at Pub Italia at 7pm. Hope some of you Ottawans can make it! And bring implements for shoutouts. Possibly also a banana, so we'll recognize each other. ;)

Built on a Haunted Naive American Burial Ground Ah, noble savage, the Naive American. The term 'Naive American' is widely recognized as meaning a person who is of a tribe or people indigenous to the United States. When Naive American men got together to make peace or conduct their business, they often shared a long-stemmed pipe of tobacco called the calumet, which they believed induced "good thoughts." more inside

MoFi has had a tough past few days, even losing several beloved monkeys along the way (we miss you Christophine, Path, Beeswacky, *sigh*). It's time for something fun... something perky, something to improve our lives... it's time for THE CUP-A-CAKE! "This unique container will hold a frosted cupcake in place with protrusions positioned in such a way that the cupcake will not move within the container if bounced, jiggled, or turned upside down."