Windows XP SP2: Installation and Tweaking Guide - Useful for some of us Monkeys.

Jesus Hates Stupid Homosexuals Like You - In a recent interview, Jesus dispels all myths that he supports any sort of gay lifestyle.

Am I Brian Blessed or Not? Your task is simple: Find the fake Brian Blessed. You'll see 4 lineups of Brian Blesseds. In each lineup one Brian Blessed is fake, and you only have a few seconds to identify and click him. It's short, it's stupid, and it's FLASH more inside

President Saparmurat Niyazov - or Turkmenbashi, as he likes to be known - has just banned television presenters from wearing makeup. Turkmenistan's crazy-ass president, whose recent decrees have included banning gold teeth, long hair, beards, gravity, cheese, peas, cheesy-peas and Barry Manilow, has told television presenters to stop wearing make-up because he had difficulty telling the men from the women.

A previously unrecognised Daguerrotype Portrait of the Young Abraham Lincoln has been identified, apparently. The image previously thought to be the earliest of Lincoln is from around 1848 when he was 39, but the new image seems to show a ten-years younger "handsome, aristocratic, and tastefully groomed" Lincoln... or someone who happened to look just like him. But it has been authenticated by a cranial expert. Well, a neurologist/psychiatrist. more inside

Subservient President - He's pretty stupid.

The Thumb Trick - What would happen if you pulled Bush's finger?

Mystery Chimpanzee Deaths blamed on Anthrax - the list of extinction threats to Chimps, such as destruction of forest habitat, the bushmeat trade and other diseases, now includes anthrax. Cause of death of nine chimps who died on the Ivory Coast between 2001 and 2002 has been found to be the infamous bacteria.

The Original Lord of the Rings Movie - 1956 - Long before Bakshi, long before Jackson, did you know Tolkien's master work was originally adapted and filmed by Warner Brothers, starring Humphrey Bogart, Marlene Dietrich, Sydney Greenstreet, Peter Lorre & Orson Welles? Raymond Chandler wrote the screenplay based upon the book from the year before, Bernard Herrman did the music, and all was directed by Howard Hawks. Amazingly, this forgotton masterpiece was never released.. (ahem).. for some reason. Now you can watch it. If you have Apple Quicktime. Right-Click the link & Save Link/Target As if you want to download it. 18.5 MB QUICKTIME movie. Courtesy of The Tolkien Sarcasm Pages more inside

Dogshitter Wants represents a journey through the world of the bizarre. A world of make believe that lives in all of us but not everyone. A world that lets you escape the tight structure of the normal and embrace the beauty of the surreal. - or so Biganimal, the company that made these weird cartoons, tell us on their Projects<<Dogshitter Wants pages. Dogshitter Wants main site (Flash interface). Note: some people think this cartoon is shit. I do not. FLASH interface. Requires QUICKTIME to view the toons. NSFW unless you're ok with a character that shouts "I AM DOGSHITTER WANTS" a lot. more inside

A British magpie named Thatcher has been banned from his regular Pub The clever bird enjoyed drinking lager so much he would steal it from patrons - and sometimes attack their kids - and squawk angrily if not given his beer. Yes, this post is both a weird animal story and about beer - subjects very close to my heart. This link also contains a picture of a guy drinking a pint - be warned - may cause thirstiness more inside

Jealous of Orang-Pendek, a 5-yr old black macaque at an Israeli zoo has begun walking upright in human-like manner after a close brush with death. With a picture.

The Parking Meter Fairy has a lavender-coloured tutu, a pink curly wig, his name is Xavier, and he wears a mask. Plus he rollerblades. And you thought your job was tough. more inside

Mario Brothers Music on Piano - performed by a blindfolded guy. Delightful! Then he takes his blindfold off and really gets into it. Via Boing Boing. This is a 7.6MB Windows Media File. Download choked for me at first, but on retry came down seamlessly, so you should be ok. Safe for work unless they hate Mario Bros. more inside

How & Why a Slide Rule Works - What is a slide rule? Well it's a really useful tool used for calculations, to put it simply. Want more info? Wrap your frontal lobes around this lot, then.

Weird Animal News Akimbo - A military veteran, two poodles and a cop are attacked by the groundhog from hell, Australian researchers feel the need to study transvestite cuttlefish but they need your help, Wild British Parrots that are not dead and not pining for the fjords, the Leopards that ate Bombay (perhaps this is a job for Pavitr Prabhakar?), plus the bizarre creatures that once inhabitted the balmy tropical paradise of Scotland. Yes, I wrote Scotland. Brought to you as ever by mean Uncle Nostril.

Free in every bottle of Miller Lite - a Dead Mouse - A Missouri Judge quaffs a refreshingly cold amber beverage only to find a whole crunchy raw unboned real dead mouse at the bottom of the bottle. What does he do, ladies & gentlemonkeys? Why, he screams like a little girl, that's what he does. Nicked from Obscure Store more inside

Star Trek Star diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease - 84 year old James Doohan, legendary actor who portrayed Scotty on the original Star Trek, and a World War II veteran, has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. All of our old icons, the most recogniseable marks on our psychological landscape, are slowly fading away.

The Kooks Museum - This appears not to have been posted already! Amazing! Here you will find the ravings of the immortal Francis E. Dec ("Frankenstein Gangster Computer God Worldwide Secret Containment Policy!! splutter splutter!"), the proof that in reality horror author Stephen King killed John Lennon, and the story of "Rockin'" Rollen Stewart who used to be ubiquitous on US televised sporting events during the '80s, always positioned grinning wildly in front of the cameras with a rainbow fright-wig and a placard bearing biblical inscriptions, and who later got busted in a 10-hour hostage siege at the LAX Hyatt Hotel. Dig! more inside

The Rock That Grows - Mildred Price is a collector of bric-a-brac & weirdness. The weirdest thing she owns has to be the rock that she claims has grown since she found it - and is still growing. more inside