A Cold Night In Workington. A man seeks solace in the local bar. But No! A Pubwatch scheme has identified the man as a troublemaker. A lout! A common drunk-and-disorderly. What does one man have to do to get a beer in this lousy town?? That's right . . . Fart Spray. more inside

The Secret of Bread Making. Yes, indeed, here it is. Great bread without needing to knead. Or kneading to need. Whatever. Go nuts, you bread-baking monkeys. Or if you don't like nuts put some raisins in there. There is no rhyme or raisin when it comes to bread loooooooove. For those in a rush: the recipe.

Joseph "Le Petomane" Pujol, the Fartiste. A 19th century Frenchman with "a gift that...[made] him the toast of Paris and one of the most popular and successful performers of his generation." View a clip from a recent film about him here, and a short film about him from 1979 (starring Leonard Rossiter) here. more inside

A Fiery End more inside

Dennis the Menace meets Fight Club.

Text-speak on exams. Scottish authorities OK answers written in text, 'as long as the basic idea is expressed.' Examiners in New Zealand may or may not, depending. Researchers at Coventry University say texting actually improves spelling skills. more inside

How to unblock a toilet with Winona Ryder's plainer and less successful sister. Video thingy plays straight away. via

Gertie the Dinosaur. {warning: long Google video}. An animated movie by Winsor Mccay, creator of Little Nemo. More Mccay animations. It's been a long time since I posted a FPP. Sorry if this is a repeat, or just not up to snuff.

Ruined Music

Rumsfeld's Rules (.pdf) In 1974, then-White House Chief of Staff Donald Rumsfeld compiled a handbook with advice for incoming White House staffers, which is still passed on to Washington newcomers of both parties. HTML link

Soup Heaven. For lunch today, I had Pho the Vietnamese beef noodle soup that costs so little but is so, so good. Ask for the extra large, and you'll have a bathtub of soup. Ask for rare beef, well cooked beef, tripe, shank, beef balls (don't ask) or whatever variant suits you. The best!

Rumsfeld Resigning! No more words are needed...

Guess the logo (flaaaaash)

Microsoft offers free domain names and web hosting. Microsoft ups the web-hosting ante by throwing free domain names into the mix. From the website: "features include - personalized business domain name, easy-to-use design tools, 5 business e-mail accounts, Web site traffic reports". 30Mb storage, 10Gb bandwidth. Check out the FAQ

Intellectual Property and the Ultimate One Hit Wonder

Dukakis In A Tank As the votes are counted from todays USA mid-term elections, and inspired by this Simpsons episode, why not take a moment to remember how a single photo-op can affect a campaign. more inside

The site Quick Muse done lit the fuse. It's flexy, it's crammin', it's elision, it's punctuation and hoo diggity. That's fleet erudition to me. Via. (Also, no apologies to Steven Tyler.)

Jim Kalb's Palindrome Connection Palindromes a little linguistic limberness, you monkeys may be able to get your simian brain around, and distract you from the election. Here is some previous monkey chatter on the subject. more inside

Variations on the Baritone Horn and the Euphonium

Walken to play Ozzy!!! W. T. F