June 08, 2006

World Cup Filter. Unofficial World Cup discussion thread. Spoiler-rich environment, so stay away if you've taped the games.
posted by Capt. Renault 17 years ago
  • Right now, interestingly enough, there's a standings table on the fifa site, despite the fcat that the games haven't been played yet. Maybe they know something we don't, in which case, call your bookie.
  • *looks at VIP ticket to the Spain/Tunisia game* *wishes it was mine*
  • Who gives a rat's ass??! *dives behind the sofa*
  • Quick! She's behind the sofa! Get her!
  • *scuttles out, steals the beer & Pringles, runs home to watch old Seinfeld reruns*
  • *gets out footie shirt, drapes blue-and-yellow flag in window, warms up vocal chords for raucus singing of national anthem* Wheeeeee! Heja Sverige!
  • He's Big! He's red! He can't score with his head! He's twelve foot high, he's one inch wide, His robot dance is England's pride ...
  • FINE. WHATEVER. I STILL LIKE THE LUDICROUSLY TALL DUDE.
  • poor spud, he hurt his meta-tars-ole! it doesn't mean that he's not an awfully decent chap.
  • This might be just one of those schoolyard rumors but . . . I heard soccer is called "football" in some of the poorer countries. I know! weird, huh?
  • *kicks football at petebest*
  • *phones up other casuals, gets ready to take pete to school*
  • YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO   ESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS     AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!! will never make it out of their group, but still...
  • Best World Cup Tie-In Merchandising, as spotted in London by DangerIsMyMiddleName and which will probably make no sense whatsoever to non-Brits, but still : Ann Summers (a slightly tacky chain of high-street sex shops) is selling a line of footie-inspired clothes, including a g-string bearing the legend "Eat My Goal!" (... which is a classic phrase uttered by Alan Partridge on the sublime and satirical faux-news show The Day Today at the time of the 1994 World Cup ... Clip, which still makes me giggle like a madwoman, here)
  • *wonders what DangerIsMyMiddleName was doing shopping for g-strings* *realizes* *assplodes*
  • no no no, he just passed by outside the window where they were on display. Ann Summers is yukky and tacky. There are much nicer shops...
  • *begins collecting pieces of self from off street, wiping off gravelly bits*
  • And for future reference, mothy, there ain't nuthin' wrong with tacky underthings. Sure, there's a lot to be said for the Agent Provocateur store as underthing supplier and tourist destination, but it'll never replace sheer ol' slutty. Just something to remember when you're looking for entertainment once your Team Ikea is kicked out.
  • Wow. I really fucked up the bold there. Sorry, everyone.
  • *blushes*
  • I'm not against the idea of tacky underthings at all, it's just that there are *nice* tacky underthings, and ... not so nice tacky underthings. Not so nice tacky underthings tend to be uncomfortable, and not in a good way. But YMMV, obviously :) /derail Back to the footie. Team Ikea for teh win!!!
  • At least Cocu, my fav player with the unfortunate name, is expected to be in the lineup for Holland on Sunday. So that's good news. Balances out the fact that Kim Clijsters (or as I prefer to call her, the next Mrs. Renault), was completely crushed today. I'll save some space for her on the couch -- she won't have anything else to do...
  • It's going to be the same as always. England's over-trained, over-paid, over-professionalised team, unmoved by the occasion, play lethargically: they somehow lose to Paraguay, shock horror. At one point against Trinidad and Tobago a promising young player comes on and begins to play as if fully awake: he scores, but immediately sprains a tendon. In spite of managing only a draw against Sweden, England somehow goes through. In the first half of the next game, they suddenly play with energy, fluency, and aggression, and it is sheer bad luck that they only manage a single goal. In the second half they are back on the Modgadon, and hang on through shameful defensiveness until the last five minutes. Then they concede the equaliser by basically standing completely still for five minutes. They go out in the penalty shoot-out. Germany eventually wins the tournament. I might have got the details wrong, but the gist is there. You don't even need to watch it now.
  • *puts hands in pockets, chews on hay straw, squints* them's funny fellers, ain't they?
  • Vandelay Industries!! HAW HAW HAW!!!
  • Footy!
  • <<>> It's going to be the same as always Blah blah blah, English person! You do not want to believe*. Me, I am immigrant and ignorant and proud, and thus will happily root-toot-root for [among others] the team whose corresponding non-State region I am currently in abode thereof-to, or whatever. Fußball kommt nach Hause! Viva, jogo bonito! Depato de aoi kasa o kaimsahita, kara watashi no chichi ga Tokyo eki no chikaku ni imasu! * Said with respect for more knowledgable, etc, person than I.
  • "It's going to be the same as always" Yes, but HOW will it be the same as always? And there are too many Badgers on the field...
  • I want BasilDrak to blog every Australia game. THERE. I SAID IT. AND IT'S "TOTALLY TUBULAR".
  • OH NO LOOK OUT JERRY HERE COMES NEWMAN!!
  • > Germany eventually wins the tournament. i expect this too.
  • Not me. They had the carpet rolled out to the finals for them the last time, but were simply out of their depth when they got there. This team is even weaker than that one, with the exception of Klose. I'm going against the prevailing idea that Brazil has it in the bag. Their usual problem of too many egos, not enough time for everyone on the pitch. Not Brazil, England will self-destruct as usual, Italy is heavy with injury and would need a lucky ride and the catenaccio can't adapt to a non-European style of play, France is great but getting old, and may simply not have the legs to carry them through to the end... So who does that leave? I think Argentina could do well, as would the Czechs. I'd love to see Spain at the end, but I just don't see it. I'd also love to see an African team in there, but I'm guessing final four, and no better. My Dutch paisanos have fixed their problem of clashing personalities by getting rid of the non-performing vets, but there may be just too much inexperience in there. Final eight, if they get out of the first round. Which is a big if.
  • i'm surprised at some of the odds being quoted at the moment. i think germany for the cup not because they're better than every other team*, but because the home advantage seems paticularly important in football championships. *though the germans are ranked too low in the current (may 2006) standings, which places germany 19th and the usa joint 5th.
  • Who are your favorites? Everyone talks about Brazil, but who else has a shot to win this? And since I'm a fan of team USA (which *finally* has a top-to-bottom solid team these days -- hasta la vista, Alexi Lalas!): Do you think they'll make it past the first round? Italy, the Czechs, USA -- that's a pretty tough group.
  • And, ooh, who's your dark horse? This year's South Korea?
  • USA should not make it past the first round but it's the World Cup. I think its far too early to reliably predict who will win, although the favourites seem to be Brazil and Argentina, with a strong case for Germany and the Czech Republic and maybe England if Rooney is there, or the rest of the team pull their fingers out. You only need two injuries to a team, and they could go from semi-finalists to bowing out in the round games. Even if you get the semi-finalists right, a lot depends on which teams are up against each other. Personally, even though I have both of my nations playing, I'm just looking forward to hours and hours of (hopefully) great football.
  • The press and commercials for the World Cup over here have been really touting the US team's chances, but I don't know enough to know if it's a real chance or a push to get people to watch. I'll watch regardless, with an attitude of "Goooo, somebody!"
  • Only seven countries have ever won the World Cup: Brazil 5 times, Italy and Germany (unless you want to quibble about it being West Germany)3 times each: Argentina and Uruguay twice, England and France once. It's highly likely that one of those will win again. (And as roryk says, being the host appears to be a big advantage).
  • i want the capt. to make a prediction.
  • Bah Pleggers ... you must be the only Brit not to be living in Wayne's World ... The World Cup is Ours ... 40 years of hurt ... two World Wars and two World Cups etc etc etc How could we possible lose ... *Goes to have cold bath and calm down a bit*
  • Sorry top be all confrontational, but I really must object - Cocu is nowhere near the funniest name in the World Cup. May I present my personal Don't Foreigners Have Funny Names XI: Quim Bak Pantsil Boumsong Jop Wicky Ballack Yapi Yapo Fukunishi Vennegoor of Hesselink Pimpong With, as substitute, Love. Because his real name is Arsenio Cabungula.
  • I can cope with the despair, dickdotcom - it's the hope that kills me. Roodbarian
  • Prediction -- OK. Argentina.
  • Look, who cares? The World Cup is about sitting round with your mates drinking and talking shite. I am quite looking forward to it, and I'm not a big footy fan. CASHBACK!
  • YES!!! IN-YOUR-FACE CAR RENTAL LADY!!!
  • Today's the day! Place yer bets, place yer bets! Ummm .. . Red . . 28! *crosses fingers*
  • bbc's streaming seems to be getting hit heavily :-( anyone tried one of those usb key television tuners?
  • Cambodian Monks not allowed to Robot Dance during World Cup
  • for today's games, i predict: germany: 4 costa rica 2 and poland: 0 ecuador: 2 posted by roryk at 06:00PM UTC on June 09, 2006 wow, that was spot on! i really should've put some money on that.
  • I'm going to go out on an optimistic limb here, and say that I think England are in with a real chance of winning. If everyone can keep calm and not do anything stupid to get themselves sent off, and not break any more darn metatarsals, and not not not have to go to penalties at any point then they're in very good shape. A choice of impressive strikers, solid midfield and a strong defense, which a lot of the other teams are lacking (Brazil, for instance, and the Germans weren't looking to hot at the back today despite scoring lots). The Italians, I fear, are likely to be on the first bus home, not least because of the match-fixing allegations that have plagued Serie A in recent weeks, which has lowered morale amongst players and fans alike - in fact lots of people round here are so disgusted and disheartened with what's been going on that they're not rooting for Italy at all, but for A N Other team instead in protest. The US could definitely progress through that group.
  • "A choice of impressive strikers" Wow Mothninja ... you ain't been reading the British Press! Rooney: crocked. Owen: crocked. Crouch: tall and useless Walcott: who? Personally I think Owen's been saving himself for the World Cup since the New Year, Crouch is wildly under-rated and could be one the the stars of this World Cup and as an unbiased Arsenal fan, it's obvious that Walcott is well worth his place ...
  • As a Scot, my favourire world cup team is whoever is playing England.
  • What a commanding opening win from England! Ahem. mumble, mumble...traditionally slow starters...
  • Oh Rocket88. Please be more original ...
  • England 1 - 0 Parody
  • Aaaaand Team IKEA are ... pathetic! That was atrocious! Sweden 0 - 0 Trinidad and Tobago!! le sigh.
  • Ah, viva Mexico.
  • *starts to chew her fingernails thinking about tonight's Australia vs Japan match*
  • *is looking forward to it*
  • Awesome seeing cars on Saturday rolling around the Mission District here in San Francisco with big Mexican flags hanging out the windows. A touch of international flavour (sp?).
  • I don't really care about the footie, but it's obviously a passion for lots of people, so good luck whichever team you support. What's annoyed me is that my UK satellite TV company are showing chick-flicks opposite every game 'for the girls'. What about the non-sporty male geeks? Where's my channel showing, I don't know, MST3K, or Blake's 7 from the beginning?
  • or Blake's 7 from the beginning? It's well known that the Liberator crew loves their footie and fielded a squad with Avon as the grumbling keeper.
  • So far, none of the 'giants' are all that impressive. Germany was sloppy, England was up to its usual method of kicking the ball as hard as they can and hope that one of their guys ends up underneath it, Mexico was clearly beatable, as was Portgual... Team Ikea wasn't so hot, but they were also coupled with a bout of Bad Luck. Holland was uninspired, and didn't see the need to break out of their usual pattern of passing to the back to set up the plays that never came. Indeed, Holland needs to crack the whip early on this one -- Robben wanted to have all the goals for himself, and rather than passing to better-placed teammates, he'd squander chances all on his own. It's a sign of their usual ego-competition showing up even earlier than normal. So, yeah. Not impressed by anybody yet. Nobody can be pointed to and indentified as a champion. Particularly not Germany (high score aside), and especially not England -- ever relying on the set plays to score. And quid may like the ludicrously tall dude, but he's worse than useless -- he's a liability. England's consistent inability to keep the ball in play makes for lousy viewing. But I really enjoyed the Ikea-Trinidad game. Highly entertaining. (Sorry, mothy.) I was hoping for Angola to tie -- they clearly deserved a goal, particularly for the second half.
  • Hark at you, Mr Footy Expert Lardie Dar Renault! Anyway, it's 1-0 to Japan as we speak. I would normally be supporting Japan, but their covert take-over of the International Whaling Commission thingy has made me think again.
  • I've got the ticker going here at work, and can follow the action, but how are the teams actually doing? And so far, I have to say that Japan seems to have the best hair action happening.
  • OK -- didn't see that result coming... BD -- any words?
  • WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And my Japanese family still love me! *phew*
  • Never expect a result when Aussies are down and cornered......
  • i really wanted angola to equalize last night. they put their hearts into it. have missed today's games so far (stupid work!) and missed several at the weekend because i was travelling (stupid travelling!). today, my japanese coworker is inconsolable, but i'd like to see that game if it's transmitted again. i see the czechs have beaten usa. what's on later? ah, italy-ghana, that's worth watching.
  • gomichild, this whole thing ain't going to work out if-a you don't correct my Japanese.
  • i played a soccer video game for you people this weekend. Didn't understand a damn thing except A-B-sweep-left kept shooting out some kind of harpoon thing, which was cool. I didn't know harpoons were legal in sockey.
  • Yes, but only in the stands. Brass bands, harpoons, and prescribed burns are all legal.
  • The Czechs looked impressive and hopefully the Aussies can managed a point against each of Brazil and Croatia, especially if Kewell and Cahill can both start and be closer to full match fitness.
  • gomichild, this whole thing ain't going to work out if-a you don't correct my Japanese. え？何？
  • italy gave us a good demonstration of how to win without grace, with many italian players behaving like churlish teenagers towards the end of the game. (cracking first goal though)
  • Oh dear all of Japan is depressed today. One news program has just done a half hour breakdown (including comments from female impersonaters - a well known source of soccer analysis). Most people are saying that the Japanese players just didn't have the stamina to keep the pressure on until the end. There were riot police in both the main areas of Tokyo (Shibuya) and Osaka. But really nothing more than some spirited lads who'd been drinking going to the train station. Most common statement: "Oh well still 2 games to go!"
  • English fans seem to be behaving themselves in Germany. Shame they can't manage it at home.
  • tsk-tsk-tsk
  • Poor Togo. Still some of the South Korean players are cuties so that's fine. Anyone else notice the lack of hair on the French team?
  • MonkeyFilter: Anyone else notice the lack of hair on the French team? Sorry.
  • French team was a bit disappointing. The Swiss looked much better, from seeing only the second half, anyway. Very impressive, very organized.
  • Watched the Swiss, did you? Ha! Get it? eh? See, it's like *OW!* Alright, who threw that?! C'mon?!
  • The Spaniards are the first big name team to really impress me. Their touch and time on the ball was a step above any of the other teams I've seen. The Czechs also look good.
  • missed the spanish game :-( seemed good from the write-ups. germany last night: the gang that couldn't shoot straight
  • Wow. Only watched the second half of the England-Trinidad game, but wow. Until they scored in the 81st, it looked like the All-England Amateur Hour. I couldn't believe that Trinidad were being allowed to thread the needle like they were. Then they scored their soft goal, and then Trinidad's wheels came off. But until that point -- Trinidad was playing well, but not terrific or anything, but England -- whoa. Oh well. They have their victory, and are most probably in the final 16. Which allows them their traditional defeat by Sweden beforehand, so we all have that to look forward to...
  • Not pretty but I'll take it. Not 'most probably' Cap'n. We're in there. Great things willl come.
  • Yeah, I got the simple math wrong. They're in there. But not for long if they don't tighten up.
  • Na Na Na!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 - 0! 2 - 0! *does robot-dance* BACK OF THE NET!!!!! (Yeah, it was ugly, but what the hey...)
  • Phew. Ikea won. They had me worried.
  • GO TEAM IKEA!! YEAH!! FOR DA WINZ0R! *ahem* Well, it could have been worse, right? Right?
  • didn't see any footy yesterday :-( so i get home ready to watch ikea v. t&t, but it's only being broadcast on a subscription channel (eurosport is subscription for me). it should have been watchable on zdf (german) and rai uno (italian), but the signal was being jammed. grr. my own stupid fault for being lazy about my tv subscription - i could've had eurosport included at no additional charge if i'd thought about it. is there any uk monkey out there who has already or wants to set up a proxy so i can access the bbc web broadcasts
  • I saw England win AND got a hot blonde girl's phone number. Later I ate some pickles. I make that quidnunc 3 - universe 0. So fuck YOU, Jesus.
  • The Baby Jesus is watching you when you bang hot blondes.
  • Ceiling Jesus?
  • No More Nails!
  • I've got this image in my head of the CeilingCat hole, with the tearful bloodstreaked face of Jesus on the cross peeking down. That should stop you. And if it doesn't, just after you've finished, he cries out, "Oh Father! Why hast thou forsaken me?" You won't do it twice
  • The Baby Jesus is watching you when you bang hot blondes I should point out that my lovelife is a lot like Michael Owen's performance - I fail miserably to control my balls, I can't get it in, and later I am pulled off by a balding Swedish man.
  • It happens to everyone, luv.
  • So -- when does this whole 'eating pickles' thing happen?
  • *wishes he put money on his Argentina prediction*
  • I'll take that bet you're gonna regret, 'cause I'm the team that never wins! Fire on the mountain run boy, run . . dee-dle-dee-doo-deedle-dee uh, sorry. Wrong thread.
  • NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! The Fifa ticker isn't working for the Holland-Ivory Coast game! I have to go with the every-two-minute thing from the beeb! NOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOooOOOoooooOOOOOO!!!!! FUCK YOU, WORK. FUCK. YOU.
  • > *wishes he put money on his Argentina prediction* very impressive so far, those silvery dudes.
  • Aah, thank Mothra -- I can get the ticker on my old secretary's computer. Too bad I MISSED THE FUCKING GOAL YOU STUPID FIFA FUCKERS. Oh, and Hup Holland Hup.
  • 2-0. Much better. Only need five more to capture first in the group...
  • *regains composure* *changes underwear* *lights candle in front of St. Anthony* *puts on walking shoes* *heads to Lourdes*
  • Gosh. That Angolese goalkeeper is good. If only the two teams had a little more energy...
  • Yay Ghana! You gho, ghuys!
  • The referee is the decider.
  • usa were totally robbed by bad reffing. that group should stand at 3 apiece. italy is very very disappointing this year.
  • Yep, entirely agree roryk. The USA was robbed.
  • Can I just say, I wish I was called Bruce Arena. That would be an awesome name to have.
  • Oh, yeah, and U!S!A! really were much better than Italy - though (for all non-Americans) wasn't it weird to be rooting for the US as the plucky underdogs in a sporting contest? Anyway, the Ghana match next Thursday should be amazing.
  • A dirty, dirty game, and quite enjoyable. It's not often that the Italians come out looking like the good guys, but here we are. We had to switch from the American coverage to the Chinese coverage on the multicultural station -- the guys over at ABC aren't familliar with the basic rules of the game ("if that was a second yellow card, then I could see why it could be a red" or "a player is offside when there's not two opposing players in front of him, in the referee's o-pin-ion"), and the sheer annoyance of it all (and five second time delay in case of exposed nipplage) drove us back to the happy Chinese guys. But bizarre. Just plain bizarre. I'm not a fan of the Azurri by any stretch, but they sure had my sympathy in that one. Guess I was watching a different game than all yous...
  • on the subject of bad reffing, it's very sad that last night's game might well have been zizou's swan song.
  • Anyway, the Ghana match next Thursday should be amazing. As long as we Usians score some goals. (I mean, gotta root for the home team and all).
  • Cap'n even when they show the finals of what we call "baseball", the announcers are mind-bogglingly clueless and awful. I can only wince and sympathize at our media's undoubted ham-fisted attempts at narrating sockey.
  • England doesn't kick off till 8pm tonight. How am I suppose to lay off the cooking larger till then? Dashed inconsiderate.
  • Just have one of those twice-drunk days. The second time is always sooooooooo sweet... Well, not really. But you can do it anyway. Or you can just get a nice buzz going now, and maintain it for the next, what, four and a half hours? Entirely possible for a man of your talents. Or you can just get completely blotto now, and miss England's defeat entirely. You might want that too...
  • We will win! *hic*
  • Sure thing, my friend, England will win allright. *calls bookie, puts next week's paycheque on Sweden*
  • drink the good stuff first. then move onto the less good stuff. by kick-off time, you'll be looking for something to mix with your paint thinners.
  • I could do with going the pub now, but I think I'm expected to stay in work a little bit longer. Bastards.
  • Why don't you bring a six pack to your desk? It's not like you do any work there anyway.
  • CHUT UP!! I might leave early just to cheese YOU off
  • Quiet please, some of us have work to do.
  • *chastened*
  • *pokes kitfisto in the side until he giggles*
  • *steals Koko's hall monitor sash, replaces it with air-raid warden helmet* *hits Koko over the head*
  • *dips blotting paper in inkwell / flicks at koko's back*
  • *drapes giant Swedish flag over shoulders like cape, runs madly round thread singing national anthem* GO TEAM IKEA!
  • *glares* *opens can of cooking larger*
  • *focuses intently on work, smiles brightly at boss*
  • *cracks open the vodka, offers Koko's boss a pickled herring*
  • *starts frying black pudding*
  • *looks at clock*
  • *stretches, shuffles papers*
  • *sneaks off home*
  • *calls kitfisto's boss*
  • *sends super urgent multimillion dollar request to kitfisto's workplace, specifying that only kitfisto can do this, that it may take half the night, and that tomorrow will be too late*
  • *contemplates the madness of sockey fants*
  • *is already at home, and my boss left before me anyway, and is on the cooking larger already* GO TEAM!!!
  • World Cup Blog (via MeFi) although I'm still searching Snopes because there's no way this thing is real.
  • /off to the pub
  • svääääärjäääääeeh! *opens jar of herring*
  • Some guy's blog about World Cup gatherings at various ethnic bars and restaurants around Toronto.
  • Wery wery qwuiet, even though the Land Of Eng scored earlier although Team IKEA is just getting their act together!!! Presumably with Allen wrenches.
  • Fuck. 1-2. C'mon, Sweden, I need to pay rent.
  • Phew. They had me worried there. But the Streak continues, which lets me know that everything is still allright with the world, that the sun will rise, the Maple Leafs still suck, and England will embarrass themselves against Ecuador.
  • And Germany-Sweden should be entertaining.
  • Hello?
  • Echo! Echo! Echo!
  • Pinch hitting for Cal Ripken Junior... or... or... Number sixteen... teen... teen... Capt. RENAULT! No! No!
  • Bloody tags.
  • GOOOOOAAAAAALLLL!!!!!
  • Is the sockey ball game over? Boy I hope so 'cause y'all were startin' to get them South Americans all upset and whatnot. Hoo! Tell you whut! *snf* Hello? Cap'n? *click**click* Hello? Huh.
  • Just for once, they could have let us beat them. But noooo. Never mind. Our goals were better than theirs. *buys Mothy a beer*
  • Yeah, your goals were much better than ours, actually. Good game all round, though. *heartily thanks kit for the beer, clinks glasses*
  • *politely declines the pickled herring though*
  • cracking game, made all the better by watching it in a pub* with lots of swedes and sasanaigh. cole's goal was several kinds of fabulous, and gerrard's very impressive too. the swedes seem to by relying heavily on corners, but fair play to them for keeping the pressure up. *nights out in pubs are far too infrequent these days. :-(
  • I'm going to see that bloody ball bouncing over John Terry and Sol Campbell's heads in slow motion in my nightmares for months, I tell ye.
  • OK, so Holland comes second in the group (surprise surprise), so they'll face Portugal, which is old and busted, and then Ecuador, whose run will finally expire, before meeting Brazil, but I won't think about that yet just in case they finally catch fire before then. Hmm.
  • Oooh, this is tense.
  • Ghana is gifted a penalty shot after the US equalize. The ref is obviously indugling his anti-Americanism. I blame Bush.
  • I blame Team America's incompetence.
  • Bye bye USA...
  • It's true. Even without the dubious penalty it'd be a 1-1 tie. If you can't generate goals at this level you just can't play, and the US attack has been uniformly anemic. Really disappointing, esp. since I was actually rooting for Italy to win, despite my despsing them so much. It was all in our hands, and we dropped it. Boo. Oh well, at least Italy has to play Brazil next. Though they don't look like quite the juggernaut they were made out to be prior to the tournament.
  • Bye bye USA and Czech Republic.... Next up: what excuse will Zico use when Japan loses this match against Brazil? It's not at 3pm in the afternoon, and the Brazilian players aren't as tall as the Aussies and Croatian teams... ah probably that they are just "Brazil".... The Aussies vs Croatians is probably going to be an exciting game - except they will play Japan losing to Brazil instead here so I won't be able to see it....
  • Oops, okay so Italy don't play Brazil next. Oh well, whoever plays Italy is my favorite team from here on out.
  • Or do they? Fuck, I don't know. I'll be quiet now...
  • Never expected the Czechs to bounce out of the tourney, but there you are. Gho Ghana!
  • Just gotta wait ... the Group F games coming up in a bit. The winner of Group F will play Ghana (most likely Brazil). The runner up of Group F will play Italy (hoping it's Australia!)
  • They have to allow for the chance that all the Brazilian player will get on the field and suddenly all lose their soccer-powers and Japan defeats them 6 bazillion goals to none.
  • *looks to see who has 6 bazillion goals to nil in the pool*
  • Next round: England v Ecuador Germany v Sweden Argentina v Mexico Portugal v Holland Italy v Japan (ha!) or Australia or Croatia Ghana v Brazil (almost certainly) Switzerland or South Korea (whoever tops Group G) v Ukraine (probably) Spain (probably) v Switzerland or South Korea (whoever is second in Group G)
  • Zico is giving the lads a pep talk.... if only he'd shown them how to kick the round thingie into the big white net.... Kawaguchi (The goalie) is already being described as a total hero - cause if it wasn't for him then Japan's results would currently be a hell of a lot more embarrassing....
  • Sakkaa ga hurusato ni kaette kuru!
  • Australian or Croatian?, he self-linked.
  • oh fer cryin' out loud - foul leads to free kick and Croatia score in the first two minutes..... *watches Japan and Brazil kick a soccer ball around*
  • OMG Japan scores!
  • oh thank goodness Australia have scored a goal....
  • Just how many teams play in these games?
  • Sorry tracking 2 games at the same time....
  • Kawaguchi bursts into tears as Brazil scores.... *phew* half time can have a nice calm cup of tea...
  • *shakes head in disbelief at both games*
  • Poor Japan - that has to hurt... they are trying to interview the players but most of them are crying too much to answer (;_:) Thankfully Australia managed to pull themselves together to draw and carry on! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! goes to have a peaceful lie down
  • Ha! Graham Poll isn't going to be refereeing any more matches in this or any other World Cup, I'd say. Well done to Josip Simunic, though (a graduate of the Australian Institute of Sport, lest we forget) for being the first player to get three yellow cards in the same World Cup match.
  • Not giving him a send off for the second yellow would have to see him miss out on the next round of games, surely? I think Viduka must have been Genghis Khan in a previous life or something, he doesn't seem to have much good kharma with the refs.
  • The three yellow cards business was priceless. Take a bow, that man.
  • And yet he wanted even MORE!
  • In the midnight hour!
  • *curses that he's stuck at work for all this, although at least it's not Korea this time, and it'd be all over by the time he walks through the door* Don't refs have, like, enforcers or something? One of those guys in the orange bibs? Or do they just rely on Fifa's ability to ban his ass for a month?
  • The latter. Says Sep Blatter.
  • Boy oh boy Sweden better get a move on....
  • Too late.... poor Sweden...
  • Farewell, Sweden. Shame that the last contribution Henrik Larsson will ever make to the World Cup was Beckhaming a penalty into Row Z...
  • Sterling effort by Mexico, but what a goal from Rodriguez. You could argue Argentina should have ben playing the second half with ten men, but that extra touch of class showed through in the end, and you can't begrudge them. I'll be out at some big screen in the park for England tonight, expecting a good result but not writing off Ecuador at all. I fear they play just the way that suits us least.
  • *me wraps herself in an Ecuadorian flag*
  • Half-time! 0-0
  • Too late.... poor Sweden... Just squint your eyes a bit when the Ukraine is playing.
  • Ecuador . . . isn't that where the rebel base was?
  • Fuck.
  • Awwww poor Ecuador.... Gee at the rate I'm going I better cheer for Italy tomorrow night....
  • *weeps for Team IKEA and the Motherland* Bad defensive tactics there, should have been playing a flat-pack four...
  • Suck it up gomi and the Capt. In the end we made a meal of a game we had the wherewithal to dominate I felt. They're all just warming up for the quarters, take my word. Rooney hattrick against whoever wins of Holland and Portugal.
  • Oh dear Abby has been getting into the paint thinners again....
  • WE PAYED FOR BLOOD!
  • wow, yesterday was a slow-moving train wreck followed by fast-moving train wreck. still, england might have a chance against a half-strength portuguese side.
  • *starts stretching in preparation*
  • Monkeyfilter: a slow-moving train wreck followed by fast-moving train wreck
  • An astonishing 'game'. I've never seen anything like it -- even the Italy-U.S. game looked like a trip to Disneyland compared to this. As high as the card-count was, it could have been even higher -- I'll keep feeling those cleats-to-the-chest on Robben for a long time to come. Yet nothing was done about it. In the box, no less. When obvious fouls go unnoticed, the players get frustrated, and commit innumerable other fouls, leading to an absurd card count. The ref lost control of the match when he dealt the first card out after four minutes or so. And as for the Figo head-butt -- wow. The worst of many off-ball infractions. The word is that he was sanctioned at the time, so there won't be a suspension, but I'm not sure how that can be. De Rossi was sanctioned for his elbow to McBride, yet that sanction was increased by Fifa later. Niether side has much to be proud of. Their meeting two years ago was also a bloodbath, but not to the same degree as this. But, obviously, I'm biased. I saw much of it as game delay by the Portuguese, that any time the dutch were building up momentum, a foul would lead to the medics coming out. This is nothing new, of course, but our loss would be much easier to accept had an actual game had been played. And worst of all, this puts me in a position of having to root for England against Portugal Reserves. Bah.
  • Absolute robbery. Gutted for Australia. Never a penalty.
  • NOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oh bugger it. *goes back to watching the rugby and cricket*
  • Ouch. That smarts.
  • I want the ref's address! As they were creeping their way to the penalty box in the last few seconds, I was thinking "oh no...they're not, are they....?" Sure enough, you give one of those muppets a chance to make a bad decision, and they take it!
  • I hope Germany loses because of what they did to Bruno. Fucking barbarians.
  • Enjoyed Ghana's swashbuckling approach, but that was another lesson in the difference between having great approach play and having quality strikers, even allowing for the odd dodgy offside. Despite it being on at 3 am here, had to stay up for France - Spain, especially after Spain went one up early doors. Some good stuff from France without ever really getting into top gear. Zizou still has it and all this talk about an ageing team looks bollocks to me. Half a yard of pace lost doesn't negate a bucket full of class. Confess I knew nothing of Ribery before this - his contribution was something special. I wonder if Henri went over for a gloat over Aragones. Wouldn't be surprised to see France beat Brazil in the quarters.
  • Any chance you could stfu about Bruno?
  • i think a french win in the quarters is possible, but they'll need to ramp it up a notch or two. the match last night will help their confidence. brazil are beatable. fantastic coup de grace from zizou, who finally took charge in a way that i haven't seen since 1998. ribery has been talked up a lot in the french press. up 'til now i've been underwhelmed, but his performance last night bodes well. if someone could please hypnotize henry so that he believes he's playing in the premier league, it'd be much appreciated.
  • Any chance you could stfu about Bruno? Nein!!
  • Any chance you could stfu about Bruno? No.
  • Any chance you could stfu about Bruno? That's just what the Man wants you to do, man! The Man wants you to forget about Bruno, man, like Bruno never happened, man -- but man, Bruno did happen, he totally did, man! *stops saying 'man', abusing italics*
  • can i just add something? allez les bleus, allez les bleus allez les bleus, allez les bleus allez les bleus, allez les bleus allez les bleus, allez les bleus thanks. needed to get that off my chest.
  • I actually witnessed that embarassing outburst homunculus. Par for the course for the ridiculous know-nothings who get to commentate here. In his follow up self-justificatio he made something of it being unfair that in future China will have to compete with Australia for a World Cup place now the Aussies will play in the Asian group qualifiers. It is apparently unfair that Australia can pick players who play in Europe. Maybe if the Chinese league wasn't such a farce they could get a few more players up to international standards themselves. There's more on the fall-out here, including a video of Huang's finest hour.
  • Argentina looked to have that all stitched up right until about half-way through the second half. Fair play to Germany for getting back in it, and once it had gone to penalties you kind of knew.
  • The Argentine keeper was directing play like he was up 6-1. And perhaps a bit too relaxed for the penalties. Which led to yet another underserved win of the tourney. Sheesh -- I have a good tourney if Germany, Italy, or England don't win, but they're all still in it. And now I have to add Portugal to the list as well. Great. Now I have to be like EVERYBODY ELSE and root for Brazil. YAY. Fuck.
  • I hope Ukraine beats Italy, but if in fact they do, I'll be as surprised as a very easily surprised person who has unwittingly entered Whoopsie McUnexpected's Museum of Suddenly Exploding Things!
  • Well, the cunning Germans did crock their first choice keeper with the shootout in mind
  • I love Brazil too! *mmmmWAH!* I love this thong but the sequins?! Oh!
  • > Now I have to be like EVERYBODY ELSE and root for Brazil. there is another option: zizou and the boys all the way. brazil is totally beatable, as is every other team left. you just need to wish it hard enough tomorrow and it will come true.
  • Who invented penalty shoot-outs, anyway?
  • More bogus refereeing. Lame.
  • Oh England, always able to invent new routes to bring me to the same place where you break my heart. It's a dysfunctional relationship, loving you.
  • Now I have to be like EVERYBODY ELSE and root for Brazil. YAY. hah! loser. i offered you the better option. my commiserations to english monkeys: it's a management problem, imho. the talent is undeniably world class, but there's no identifiable strategy. the whole is less than the sum of its parts, i'm afraid.
  • Well, at least my tip that France would beat Brazil came true. Didn't stay up for the game as was somewhat, ahem, tired and emotional, but they should repeat it on TV here this afty. I shall be hoping they go all the way now, though past experience shows my support may be the kiss of death.
  • Ha ha, England. Nice flags.
  • Not particularly wanting either team to win, I was satisfied with the result. "Portugal-Brazil will be a MUCH better game," I thought. Oops. So yeah. Go France. Whether my support is a good thing for you is highly doubtful. But I still appreciate that bag of cash you won for me in '98. And one more thing -- see ya round, Swen. You tool.
  • Sorry for England, but man, Portugal's keeper was awesome in that shootout. Seriously, it's like he had telepathy or something. Glad to see France win--a minor upset, but still a fun one, and the goal was really sweet. Of course now it's the battle of the Euro Powers in the semifinals, with Portugal the only non-Axis or collaborative country. (I keed.) I'm rooting for a Germany/France final, at which point I don't really care who wins, though since Casablanca is my favorite movie I'll probably be replaying the "Les Marseilles" scene every time there's a free kick.
  • just realized that if germany progress this evening, it'll be to their eighth world cup final out of eighteen tournaments. for italy, it'll be the sixth. for both teams, this is impressive. nice summary table on wikipedia france have been finalists once before; portugal's highest place to date is third.
  • Bruno has been avenged!
  • Well that was *exhausting* Great, great game, best one of the competition so far I think. The streets outside here in Florence are now filled with people tooting their car horns and singing very very loudly. Forza Azzurri!
  • (I will now stfu about Bruno.)
  • No! Never stfu about Bruno!
  • way to go azzurri! although it upsets me no end to find my weltanschauung in error, that was a fantastic finish. /is thankful he didn't bet the farm on a germany win.
  • They cut off the end of the game here to report NK flinging missiles near us.
  • /suddenly realizes that there's other things happening in the world wow, that sucks big time.
  • North Korea is such an attention whore, firing missiles, Oooh! Lookit me! Lookit me! Game's on, pallie. Stfu, and sit the fuck down. Given how my track record is as of late, I'm afraid to root for France. Personally, I think Henry deserves to win another title just for his last goal...
  • /offers the captain a portuguese flag and a glass of port
  • Alcohol! My favourite! How did you know?
  • i am a happy but tired monkey today. didn't sleep until after 04:00 with all the jubilation and celebration on the street outside my flat. i thought several key french players looked very tired towards the end. the heat (27 centigrade to start) didn't help. it was a much cleaner game than i'd feared, with only saha excluded from the final. the portuguese were unlucky with the penalty, but i think the ref made a correct decision in the context (player tripped, even accidentally, while in a scoring position). all in all the ref did a decent job, again a pleasant surprise. /offers the captain a glass of chianti
  • I was in Paris in 1998. It was completely insane.
  • So, it's Azzurri versus les Bleus.
  • Chianti and Beujolais for everyone!
  • > So, it's Azzurri versus les Bleus. with france playing once again in white.
  • What an ending to the France game, huh? Portugal was so knocking on the door.
  • And what the hell was Barthez thinking with that volleyball set in front of the goal? I thought watching it that maybe he'd tried to catch it and mishandled it, but replays show him cupping his hands and hoisting it skyward. Nearly disastrous, that.
  • i think barthez was trying to punt it over his head and over the bar. he makes me nervous, though i enjoy his eccentricity. i'm so excited i could spit!
  • Une fois de plus, allez les vieux! On y va! On est en finale!
  • what's all this "nights with no football on the telly" lark? can't they play for 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th place or something? i mean, they've paid the plane fare already, should spread it over another couple of days; get their (our) money's worth.
  • nice to see kaaaahhhhnnnnn again tonight; some cracking goals by schweinsteiger; and good to see nuno gomes finally. other than that, it felt academic.
  • Is it over yet? Can we go back to ignoring soccer for another four years?
  • Using the power of your mind, you can ignore it now.
  • i couldn't. not that i want to, but i still couldn't. there's way too much going on on my street. close enough game so far, with most of the interesting action in midfield. excellent corners from the italians; nothing coherent upfront from the french in the first half.
  • disappointed again by cynical play from the azzurri. several nasty fouls that've gone unpunished by a lax ref and poor linesmen, along with some dreadful acting and diving. extra time suits italy but not france, i think.
  • There's a side of Zizou I didn't expect to see :(
  • GODDAMMIT Zizou tu peux bien être branleur quelquefois.
  • for zizou to do that, there was some nasty provocation. it's not his style at all. it's a big shame to end his career this way. i'm gutted for the french, though it's good to see the italians have a positive penalty experience.
  • . that the best footballer of the last 20 years should exit the game in such an ignoble way.
  • i have found solace. i'll shut up now.
  • Well, that was ugly. WTF. At least the Germany vs. Portugal game was a good one.
  • Zizou must be looking to play for either Rangers or Liverpool next season. Definitely a wtf!? moment.
  • Would this be the Liverpool that seldom, if ever, actually has any of its players involved in on-pitch violence, or are you referring to the stereotypical image of people from Liverpool as aggressive practitioners of the 'Kirkby Kiss'? Mmm? MMMM? *polishes forhead*
  • I also can't stop watching that replay. It's more hypnotic than Chy's Dancing Hitler TM
  • Holy fuck Zidane.
  • I think the fact that he trips a little on the Itie's foot detracts somewhat from the overall effect. Makes him look a bit girly, when I'm pretty sure he was going fot 'ruffty-tuffty'. 7 out of 10.
  • nothing says "i resign" like a head-butt to the chest.
  • I want to know what the guy said to provoke him. "I thought Cache was a load of pretentious toss" "Australian wine is better than French"
  • ZZ wins the Golden Ball for best player.
  • another angle of the incident. zidane has started to move away from materazzi, who continues to speak. french blog/radio rumour: the taunt concerned zizou's mother, who is suffering from bad health.
  • Something about liking pizza more than croissants.
  • "Hey Zizou, look down, your bootlace is undone."
  • The game - click to nut the marching Materazzis
  • Forza Azzurri, WTF Zizou, and some pics from watching the match in Florence here (flickr self linky)
  • Man, if he'd said that to me, a headbutt'd be the least of his worries. I'd want teeth.
  • Wow, Materazzi managed to sink even lower in my estimation. Right down there with the banana throwing shites.
  • I think if anybody called my mother a terrorist whore I would be wondering how they knew so much about her.
  • I mean c'mon, we all know that your mother isn't a terrorist, Wolfo.
  • If anyone called my terrorist whore my mother, I would be asking if they needed a new glasses prescription.
  • Those AK-47s don't pay for themselves, young man!
  • Once again the actions of two athletes prove that the old adage is true: Sports proves that neanderthals still breed.
  • zidane comes out of this with a minor blemish on his reputation and even wider name recognition. materazzi comes out of this as a racist thug who crumples like a daffodil in strong wind. but we knew that anyway.
  • /applauds
  • /cannot hold up red card for giggling
  • Impressive. Most impressive.
  • Uh, guys, it's over, you don't hafe to talk about it for another four years.
  • Zidane said today that Materazzi said something about both his mother and his sister. I had never heard of either of these guys before the headbutting incident. I am now fully informed on the world of soccer.
  • Zidane said today that Materazzi said something about both his mother and his sister. I had never heard of either of these guys before the headbutting incident. I am now fully informed on the world of soccer.
  • You can say that again.
  • No Berek, its never over - now its time for the Asia Cup, the European Cup, Serie A, Bundesliga, Premiership League etc. etc.
  • ADMIN PLEASE HOPE M-oh.
  • Better than that dj - two different trial Crewe Alexandra sides both won in friendlies as we prepare for a thrilling season attempting to bounce back from relegation to League One. This Baz Savage looks promising, he's a big lad and comfortable on the ball, but the Bristol City fans say he flatters to deceive and gets knocked off the ball to easily. Me, I'm hoping young Nicky Maynard from the Academy will trun out to be Dario's next young gem. I shall be mailing Berek with regular updates on the Railwaymen's progress Blue Moon, you saw me standing alone...
  • But which is more powerful: Zidane's head or Umaga's handbag?
  • Other sports, such as rugby and American football, have adapted video replays to help referees.
    i think rugby union has benefitted from the use of "video refs". i guess part of the fear in soccer is that it will slow down the game, but why not limit it to disputed events within the penalty area? this could at least cut down on inappropriate penalty awards, missed fouls, and unrecognized goals. things tend to grind to a halt when something happens in the box anyway, so why not give the ref some video backup?
  • Zizou given 3-game ban, fine. Won't take Ball away.
  • It's over it's over it's over!!!!! No more world cup for four years!
  • Yeah, but there's always the European Championship in two years, and their qualifiers. And the U-20 next year in Canada. And the EUFA U-17 next year. PLUS the women in China next year. So there's plenty to keep us entertained in the next little while, esp. since those other tourneys aren't so subject to the Same Old Shit, Just More Expensive phenomenon of the WC. But I really want to know more about this organized street football thing, particularly as it seems much more civil and inclusive (esp. their 'girls-goals count double rule'). Must dig up more on this.
  • *blows dust off thread* Is this the right place to lament the fact that England still can't get their shit together? Sigh. *gets other flag out for Team IKEA vs Northern Ireland later*
  • Poor old stupid rubbish infuriating England
  • Well, this certainly brightens my day! Thanks, Wayne!
  • There's always Saturday, the other World Cup.
  • Russia 2-1 England Rep of Ireland 1-1 Cyprus San Marino 1-2 Wales Georgia 2-0 Scotland Sweden 1-1 Northern Ireland Well, well, well. Not the best of days for you all, is it? Holland 2-0 Slovenia *smirks*
  • Tough group there, Group G...
  • With any luck, Holland need only clean up the basement to secure a spot, but knowing them, they'll find a way to foul it up. Usually the clash of egos and attending self-destruction doesn't come until during the tournament, though.
  • All Scotland had to do was beat shitty Georgia and it was goodbye France. They always find a way to break my heart.
  • MonkeyFilter: clash of egos and attending self-destruction
  • Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear.
  • Yeah, that was harsh, especially after they clawed their way back to 2-2.
  • Euro '08 ball looks like a giant sucky wiffle ball. And we'll need an official Euro '08 thread at some point. I'd do it, but I'm lazy.
  • Larsson's gonna play? Is he going to be out on a day pass from the Seniors' Home? How fast can he go with that walker?
  • *sigh* Not that I wanted either team to win*, really, but did it have to be Man United? And Terry? I felt bad for him at first, but then he just couldn't stop crying. Dude. Enough. You slipped on a pitch like a Slip 'n' Slide. It happens. Now STFU. *and to steal the Guardian's joke, the best result would have been a stadium collapse
  • Finally, Materazzi recieves justice! Wait...