Now, where did I put the very dirtiest parts of last week's TV? Oh, yeah: at parentstv.org, home to those fundie censorship warriors who crank out carbon-copy complaint letters to the FCC. Why, they'd be sure to wipe out obscenity if they'd start putting together a nightly half-hour highlight reel of all the dirtiest, crudest, nudest stuff on TV. With RSS and Bittorent. (Uh, NSFW, if watching a man cram a woman into his ass on South Park isn't S at your W)

Jimmy Hats vs. the Clap On Wednesday's Lou Dobbs Tonight, Florida Rep. David Weldon (R) claimed that condoms "can only protect a man about 30 percent of the time and a woman about 60 percent of the time from contracting gonorrhea." Is that true? The studies I found are epidemiological, not clinical, and don't provide any hard numbers. I'd love to call his office and yell at them, but I want to go in well-armed.

Built on a Haunted Naive American Burial Ground Ah, noble savage, the Naive American. The term 'Naive American' is widely recognized as meaning a person who is of a tribe or people indigenous to the United States. When Naive American men got together to make peace or conduct their business, they often shared a long-stemmed pipe of tobacco called the calumet, which they believed induced "good thoughts." more inside

A brief history of timelines expressed as a timeline. Next stop: a chronology of postings about the timeline of timelines.

You call this Ok, Al? Track listings for "Everything's Ok", Al Green's newest album, are all silly and I like that. They include: "Daphnis Et Chloe: Part I: The Young Girls Attract Daphnis's Attention And Surround Him With Their..." and "The Old Shepherd Lammon Explains That, If Pan Has Saved Chloe, It Is...". Click now, before they fix it.

Trivial George Monkeys...if you've always thought you could pwn Alex Trabeck, now's your chance: Jeopardy! is taking names for contestant searches in Chicago, Houston, Madison, New York, Phoenix, Tampa, and Toronto. (Posted 'cos I always forget to see if I can sign up, so I would have appreciated a heads-up in years past...)

Eddie van Halen saw this and started spinning ...so they just decided it was time to bury him. Kaki King plays guitar like acid played Syd Barrett.

"a mixture of 17th century Scotland and 20th Century Fox" Casa Loma, for a time North America's largest private home, was built by Toronto's answer to C. Montgomery Burns, Sir Henry Pellatt, early in the 20th century. It was the first fully electrified home in Toronto, and the first to have an elevator. Delightfully, it also has honest-to-God secret passages, which are open to modern visitors. Its construction bankrupted Pellatt, and he was forced to sell it. Since then, it's been a tourist attraction, a secret factory for the wartime development of Sonar's British precursor, ASDIC, and Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Children.

Right at the beginning of the show the author is heckled and he pukes all over his shirt. You can’t really see this but just when things seemed to be going really well the author is heckled again and he wets himself. The pants are hung out to dry and the show goes on. Somehow, magically, the heckler appears on the screen as a DON’T. He is enraged and confronts the author who then s***s his pants. (warning: all links include movies and are possibly NSFW...no nudity, just language) (This is what new book readings are like for the magazine whose next Canadian publisher is supposed to know about "eating a***s on Adderall".)

The Finnish Men's Shouting Choir (Mieskuoro Huutajat) Like a cross between Laibach and Monty Python, they consist of about 30 or so men who shout deconstructed arrangements of traditional Finnish songs, children's songs, the anthems of other countries, and, now, legal proceedings or trade agreements. To see God, close your eyes and check out their version of the Star-Spangled Banner. (once more, via WFMU, "Where dead air lives")

Brighten the corners: ABC's "Wife Swap" is "eager to feature a family headed by parents who are raising their children without imposing religious beliefs on them". Mom will go join a fundamentalist (assumedly Christian) household, while their mother joins yours. Want to show the world that non-believers can be just as moral and good as believers, if not moreso? And make money doing it? ("Bright" is an attempt at linguistic hijacking on the part of famed evolution advocate and Oxford scientistafessor Richard Dawkins, meant to re-brand people who don't believe in God.)

Bingo Gazingo "He looks like your grandfather; he thinks like your horny 13-year-old brother." Bingo Gazingo is a downtown New York staple for outsider music types- a frail old man who rocks the mic with scatological rhyming poetry about modern pop culture. I'm not sure if he's all that great, but he is the only musician to have a solo CD released by The Most Amazing Radio Station Ever, WFMU (motto: "Our music doesn't fall through the cracks, it is the cracks."). So I dug up some multimedia for all to share: [more inzingo]

Jet Bike! (warning: quick time) The Madagascar Institute, an art collective in Brooklyn that previously held a Condiment War, put a jet on the back of a bicycle. I call it good.

Dirty Found: Found Magazine gets all kinds of flotsam and jetsam and publishes it- notes, photographs, and, for lack of a better term, whatnot. Sometimes, people send in things that are a little too raunchy for the magazine. Thus, Dirty Found, in bookstores near you.

Every cable news site should have a 'conspiracy theory' section! Get all the dirt on the latest middle eastern paranoia, through al-Jazeera's web site: Is Bush planning to attack Iran before the election? (62% say yes) Was Israel behind 9/11? (another 62% say yes) Was the US behind recent violence in Lebanon? (81% say no) Is Australia's PM suffering from an Aboriginal curse? (80% say yes) al-Jazeera, I love you.

Staplerfahrer Klaus- Der Erste Arbeitstag That's "Forklift Driver Klaus- The First Workday" to you, bub. I know it won't make any sense for at least a minute, but it really does work out the humor secretions after that.

What happened to my posting history? I wanted to find an old link, but my profile doesn't have any old posts. What's up? Were they all deleted?

"Michael Moore actually used footage of the Pentagon in flames as a sight gag," said Ms. Burlingame, a founder of a group of relatives of Sept. 11 victims who are supporting Mr. Bush. "It was really hard to sit there in the theater listening to people laugh at that scene knowing my brother was on that plane. I wish more people would see this film instead." Am I the only one that doesn't remember this scene? The Pentagon, in flames, as a sight gag? I call BS on Ms. Burlingame! more inside

The risks ahead for the world economy: Fred Bergsten, Director of the Institute for International Economics, says that the way things are going, we're going to see a 20% drop in the value of the dollar. Paul Volker, formerly of the Fed, says there's a 75% chance of a big drop in the next 5 years. Curious George: how can anyone with the least business sense possibly vote for Bush?

Curious George: "A guy grabbed me by the arm, he looked me right in the eye, and he said, 'Don't let me down.'" This has been an applause line in Bush's stump speech for months, but something finally sunk in: if anyone really said this, that person's probably still around. How can I find him, and has President Bush let him down?