Never mind the Bollocks, here's the Pish Dolls. I recommend watching the Ace of Spades video.

How to Stop Time. First, find a clock with a smooth sweeping second hand...

You heard about the recently discovered blonde furry lobster, didn't you? The Kiwa Hirsuta. Well here's a plush toy replica. Nicked from robot wisdom

Why aren't you using RSS? A n00b's guide to RSS. You have a ton of sites bookmarked. You may have whittled down to a list of, oooh, a number that you check every day (/presses envelope to head - that number is six!). RSS is a way you can be MORE in touch — with a higher number of sites — while doing less work. And, thus, an aid to becoming fatter, lazier and inevitably uglier, as if that were even possible. This is me pretending that I've not heard of RSS. Of course, I'm really much hipper than that, and this is all old news. Also, I didn't search before posting. more inside

Have you ever seen a robot mule stumble around as if dancing to the sound of a model airplane engine? (Second link = YouTube video with sound) more inside

Force Skeptics - 'Ladies and Gentlemen, you have been bamboozled. The Force is a fiction that exists only in the minds of deluded Jedi practitioners. The so-called "Jedi Powers" are nothing more than cheap stage-magic tricks that anyone can learn and which violate no known laws of physics. The Masters of the Jedi Order are charlatans, preying upon your gullibility and demanding your blind respect in return.' Seen @ Spiflicated Bivalves

Arundhati Roy on the visit of War Criminal Bush to India - "...on March 2, Bush will be taken to visit Gandhi's memorial in Rajghat. He's by no means the only war criminal who has been invited by the Indian government to lay flowers at Rajghat... But when Bush places flowers on that famous slab of highly polished stone... It will be as though he has poured a pint of blood on the memory of Gandhi." Also: Only 12% worldwide think the Iraq invasion weakened terrorism. pinched from robot wisdom

Baghdad Burning: Volatile Days. Read up the latest posts from Riverbend , please.

Tom Baker Says... in the UK there is a new system from BT where SMS text messages can be voiced by Tom Baker. Fucking TOM BAKER, people. This site is about what you can make Tom Baker say. For instance, you can make Tom Baker say 'motherfucker' which I think is astounding, and for me, that proves we really are in the 21st Century and slightly makes up for the lack of flying cars and domed cities on the moon. Particularly check out the movie quotes section. Also the Tom Bakaraoke. Warning: contains embedded AUDIO you luddites.

52 Flight Simulator X screencaps - this week Microsoft released a new set of screenshots of the upcoming Flight Simulator X. This is a collection of 52 pix determined to kill dial-up. I'm not really a flight sim guy, but these screens are worth a bit of a gander.

Philip K Dick is missing. The robot Phil Dick simulacrum that was made for Nexfest and whose code contains contribution by a home monkey, has gone missing or absconded, driven by the urge for replicant freedom. They are going to send out special police squads to find it. This is not called execution. This is called retirement. I told you we are only renting space in PKD's universe. Things may get weird. As your attorney I urge you to start drinking heavily.

Babylon 5's Katsulas Passes - Andreas Katsulas, the character actor who was outstanding as G'Kar on Babylon 5 and Tomalak the Romulan on Star Trek, memorable in everything he did, lost his battle with lung cancer on Feb 13. :( more inside

A cut-out paper camera known as Dirkon - the story of a functional pinhole camera made of stiff paper, designed for 35 mm film in Communist Czechoslovakia during the dark times of the 1970s when taste was forgot. Download the PDF plans & instructions, if you desire, in heady expectation of successful assembly and the creation of an estate of your own Dirkon neo 70's Czech pr0n art shots to hand down to oblivious, tenaciously apathetic crotch fruit.

Google spnaks BMW - German BMW websites have been removed from the Google index. BMW.de at this time has a PageRank of 0. This is probably because BMW websites have been caught using doorway pages and now receive the Google Death Penalty. This is normally what happens to Pr0n sites, people.

14 Phrases Which Have Never Before Been Spoken or Written by someone who's obviously a little high.

Identify this Lobster-beast - 'It looks like a cross between a crayfish and a lobster with some characteristics of a large prawn or crab but even the experts are stumped about the identity of this crustacean.' more inside

Obsessive... most obsessive... I give you, the Bag End dollhouse. more inside

2 Kiwi Lions beat the pess out of Keeper - on fulm - Wellingten Zoo. A keeper gets attecked by two beg cets. A vesiter to the zoo ceptured the atteck on hendy cem. Mereculously, the keeper only sestained injuries to his nick und his side. Vesetors were nuver ut resk. And Carly Kirkwood is a hot little vixen. Warning: Contains footage of a guy being pounced on by two young lions and copious New Zealander accents which may disturb some people.

Phoenix Wright create-an-OBJECTION! Yes, it's Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and you can create a custom objection by typing in your shit here! Or here for Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth, or here for Mia Fey! FLASH - NSFW cos of what my objection says. more inside

WAR! YTMND.com goes to battle against Ebaum's world over the latter's petty theft of Lindsay Lohan! Mayhem, DoS attacks and I believe you have my stapler? Ensue! WARNING: sound fx, etc more inside