This entry discusses the etymology and application of a selection of words that, to varying degrees, can be considered vulgar or offensive. As a necessity, this entails the use of said words, and it is strongly advised that, should you find such words distressing or inappropriate, you do not read on beyond this point.

Bush: God told me to go invade Iraq. I pass this link on without comment.

The Rum and Monkey 3rd Grade Name Generator. Outside of the awesome domain name, this is one of a berzillion funny name generators, but if you don't like it you're just Lieutenant Penis B. Dweeberson!

Curious, George: Desktop Publishing Software Where can I find free Desktop Publishing software suitable for making cheap posters and flyers for events on a Windows XP computer? more inside

WAR!

The British Council's art collection is now online (or at least, its database featuring images of most of the works). Here's a monkey. The Council runs hundreds of cultural projects all over the world.

Jackson Does Halo. The LOTR director has agreed to take on the film version of the popular game. more inside

Never eat anything bigger than your head Python: 0, Gator:0.

Tommy and Katie are expecting a baby. I'm expecting to be horrified. Yes, we here at MonkeyFilter normally discuss the loftier aspects of life, but we're always open for some good ol' Tommy-bashing. Gentlemen, start your slander..! more inside

Care Bear Stare! We Monkeys could invent better catch phrases with our tails behind our backs! I know, of course, that you can't 'make' a catch phrase, but silliness must prevail in the face of logic. Propose three, and, if desired, how and when one might say them. more inside

The threat -- avian flu. The Bush response. Reaction to the Bush response.

Baby sloths. Lily the biter, Mogli and Mogwai, Nemo, and more. [via] more inside

The Mad Revisionist A "series of essays dedicated to the manufacturing of truth through the discarding of evidence." Sample articles: The Moon: A Propaganda Hoax and The Parthenon: A Post-Hellenistic Fabrication.

Another Gospel This month, a book (.pdf) comes out, which will expose who really wrote Shakespeare's plays. Not everyone trusts the scholarship the book is based on, however.

Curious George movie coming He looks a little weird, and Yellow Hat looks like Inspector Gadget... we'll see.

Shark-Be-Gone In light of all this ocean hysteria among Monkeys - the shark attacks, self-impaling-and-impregnating giant squid, and now the gooey glowy things - here's some better news. Though it won't save you from giant balls of snot or an amorous Arcteuthis, it could make a shark think twice about bugging you in the water. more inside

Dolphin taught to sing the 'Batman' theme - beat that, chimps. more inside

Giant Balls of Snot

pallalink / from osaka, japan [via]

Bike Pr0n Fantastic photos for fixie fetishists.