testicle-eating cat haunts Kenya and other stories (subscription required to view the entire article) more inside

Blood-Sucking Monkeys At Temple Attack Hundreds Of Kids

In Lieu of the fact that all monkeys are so pissed off right now, I've decided to create the" "BERATE THE BUSH SUPPORTER" board Here, all Monkeys of the world (including you Euros and others) may feel free to tell Bush Supporters the idiocy of their ways in your most clever, rhetoric, sarcastic, sadistic and even lovely one liners (note that you may use as many lines as you require)... Happy Hunting!!!

Who's next? 2008 is the next chance for America to throw off the shackles of theocracy. Who do you think will be the Democratic candidate? I know who I suspect.

Curious George: What do you love about America? With all the sadness and depression I had a thought: I love America. I do. You know why? Because in spite of whatever happens - in spite of the fact that, no matter who wins, about half the country didn't want him - we will take it, and we will accept it, without violence, without civil war, and we have been doing it since 1776. We have endured worse, and we will survive, and we will do it as a nation divided - yet we will do it without fragmenting, and without losing hope that some day it will be better. That's worth believing in. more inside

Man Tries to Convert Lions to Christianity, Gets Bitten more inside

The Day After. (More *sigh* inside.)

11 states approve ban on gay unions. even "progressive" blue states like oregon. "Basic human rights should not be put up for a popular vote." more inside

The Death Page. Laurence Sterne's 1760 novel Tristram Shandy broke new ground in a number of ways, notably by using a page of solid black to indicate the death of Yorick. Posted today for no particular reason. more inside

Witches Pardoned ...and their kitty cats, too. more inside

So how did that letter writing campaign affect the election turnout in Clark County, Ohio? We'll remember this monkey filter post about the Guardian's tongue in cheek attempt to make European voices heard in this presidential election. Well the final tally turned out to be 51% for Bush and 49% for Kerry. Check out the map of Ohio. Clark County is in the south western quadrant of the state; it's one of two which are colored white.

A Very Scary Solstice. Today while watching one horror, I saw another: the first Christmas commercial of the season (on November 2!) That means it's time for Cthulhu carols! Our candidate may not have done well in the campaign, but his plan for world domination is proceeding nicely, so let us sing his praises and hope to be eaten first.

SHIT

Researching the_bone's AD200 election results. I found some interesting carrot facts. Purple carrots! Carrots for your hair! Carrots in art more inside

Curious George: My gas log starter doesn't. I have no idea how to use my gas log starter - Boy Scouts prepared me for the creation of roaring outdoor blazes, but this "fireplace" device has me bamboozled. Can a benevolent fire-wielding simian help me understand this fiendish thingy? more inside

I heart Wonkette. The Glenlivet and uncertainty certainly helps.

Ludicrous George...As I sit here with my face burning off from a laser facial treatment, I wonder what other craziness monkeys have had done/or done to themselves in the name of vanity or in the pursuit of love. Anybody have an exe's name tattooed on their ass? Pretended to like really bad music? Bleached their hair with Super Blondissima until it dropped off their head? I once came this close to becoming a Krishna devotee because a boyfriend already had the stylin' haircut and beads...

Hello Kitty! Hello Kitty and friends welcome you to the exciting and fantastic Hello Kitty World! Hello Kitty World will allow thousands of players to live and participate in Hello Kitty's magical and cute online world.

SAVE THE BURGER! Hola my little monos, I just wanted to keep you up on my pet project, Irv's Burgers. You might remember that I posted something here a few months ago about the possibility that Irv's, a West Hollywood institution, would be bulldozed and replaced with Peet's Coffee franchise. Well, it's getting harder and harder for them to do so. more inside

Saving Sam. "As the swatches of silver in his coarse black fur confirm, Sam the chimpanzee's youth is far behind him. At 56, he is the Sacramento Zoo's senior resident and is among the oldest chimpanzees in captivity in the country. Time has taken its toll."