September 21, 2005

Self-postFilter: Since I've been hearing some great things about monkeys lately, I figure we deserve a chance to boast about our achievements on MoFi. Self-links permitted (within reason). jacobw has published a book, kamus has an album on iTunes, squidranch helped save an historic burger joint. Tell us about them, please, and what everyone else has done lately?
posted by tracicle 18 years ago
  • Kamus' CD is very good.
  • Does completing community service count?
  • is there a link for Kamus' CD?
  • is there a link for Kamus' CD? You could start here.
  • great, thank you. (looks good Kamus)
  • Can I use this thread to apologize to everyone for being more of an asshat than usual recently? Or would that be a little too "My Name Is Earl-ish" for this forum?
  • You are not an asshat, wendell. *hugs*
  • Get a room! Oh, and buy one of my paintings to hang on the wall while you're at it (pfft). You love it!
  • I save animals from death by cruel owners.
  • I've never seen wendell be an asshat. Link please!
  • Self Link! (iTunes link- warning: contains Jazz) I demand that this post be eeked, due to the above flagrant violation of the posting guidelines.
  • What was the burger Joint, Squidward?
  • Having seen kitfisto's paintings I've vowed never to make him angry.
  • I have caught the flu off my brother in law.
  • Layers, that's what you need. Wrap up warm.
  • How much do I have to pay to get one of them?
  • £15. Plus P&P. If I get enough orders, the price'll probably drop to £12. SHILL!
  • Do the shirts have the one design or can get any of the other images on there?
  • Do the shirts have the one design or can get any of the other images on there?
  • Also, Chy- elaborate on the animal thing please
  • I can do the other designs if anyone wants. However, the 'designing' of the design for the shirt will need to be done, so there's a time factor there. The stormtrooper kitty T is ready to go if orders are placed.
  • kamus, I rescue abandoned animals and find them good homes.
  • (up his bum)
  • kitfisto: snap!
  • Yay!
  • I wrote a movie script in which a character has a .357 Hello Kitty Magnum.
  • Now if it had been a Hello Kitty Glock 17, I'd get one.
  • Actually, I did consider that! because of the legend about it being ceramic. But then I found out that that was bullshit; there is no ceramic glock. So I went with the .357 python because I thought it was funnier: the combination of a ridiculously over-powered handgun and cutesy design. There is a glock chambered for .357, but they just don't *look* powerful. And the .44 mag is too Dirty Harry.
  • I,, I created the Internet!!!oh wait, that one's already taken.
  • I have made an animation film and many games, of which this one I'm still kind of proud... And now I'm renovating my bathroom. Well, my landlord's bathroom.
  • Shiprock? Never heard it called that before. Gyprock! Christ, if I never have to tile or put up gyprock ceilings again in my life, it will be sufficient. I used to do that shit for a living before I found sound engineering.
  • I'm making a cooking website. However, aside from a swank logo and the structure of the site, it's not done yet (i.e. need to make content and preferably clean up the CSS). I'll post a proper link when I have something worth showing.
  • I swallowed a radio transitter pill that monitored my core body temperature, got wired into a high-tech vest with all sorts of sensors, then put on firefighting gear and fought fire all day, so some researchers could examine the physiological stresses and changes those activities cause in the human body. It was a big pill.
  • What happened when it came out?
  • I have nothing fun to link. Just my dissertation. (And I'm looking for a faculty job, so if any of you monkeys have any openings at your schools for a monkey...)
  • kitfisto: such lovely kitty paintings! I want! I want!
  • I'm too shy...check my profile for linky stuff
  • meredithea - they're all for sale - much cheapness! Thanx!! *blush*
  • I quit my job!
  • Chyren: everything came out OK. When we swallowed the pills, the guys running the study joked that the package included the address we'd need to send it back to when we were "finished" with it. There was a moment of hesitation in the room.
  • Were you actually on call, itsthelamsname, or did y'all run around inside a burn house?
  • I made it into Pseud's Corner in Private Eye last week...
  • Well, there's already a link in my profile, but since I'm a shameless self-promoter, I should tell you about my band! I play so-so guitar in a bonified jug band (except we have no jug player): The Hogtown Stompers.. We have a CD, but it's cheaper to just download it from archive.org (link on the band page).
  • Nothing. I've accomplished nothing of worth in my lifetime. My biggest sense of accomplishment this past six months was finishing six costuming commissions at the same time, including a drag ballgown that fooled a guy in a rave for HALF AN HOUR. okay picture here, better picture here. Obviously most of the credit goes to its wearer, but I was so proud. Half an HOUR, man. Shut up, preemptively. It's a hobby and it's scads of fun. ;)
  • ...oh, I made all three in "better picture here". clarifying. plus three more.
  • I started this. Send in pictures of old junk and get a free online appraisal.
  • mare, wow. that's some quality work. Do you know the work of Jan Svankmaejer? (no idea if that's the correct spelling)
  • Last month I made the first public release in five years of a moribund free software project.
  • "Riot Grrrl rhetoric"...heh heh....just in time for Lolita's 50th (?) anniversary meridithea. I started a site a little over a week ago and have already been cited or linked by all the coolest kids (to me) which has given me a hardon smile or 3.
  • I helped put together a "doorstop -sized" report addressing the management of the UN Oil-for-Food Programme, and the impact the programme had on the Iraqi people [Five seperate pdfs, only a mere 1000+ pages]. Yesterday I scrubbed the kitchen floor with elbow grease and windex. No photos as-of-yet. My wife is pregnant with our second, and we just found out it is a girl! What else? Oh yes, any pharmacists in the house??
  • Chyren- good on you! I see you in a whole new much less evil light. BTW, here's the link for Jacob's book at Amazon
  • I'm getting depressed, reading about all your successes. Good for you all -- congratulations! But I sure could use some scotch. 10:30, little early for Laphroaig -- better make it gin.
  • I've managed to raise a baby to the age of 3+ months without dropping her once.
  • If you are in NYC on Saturday Oct 1, come on down to Battery Park for the Fifth Annual Pagan Pride Day. I got a makeup makeover in Figure Magazine this month, and am featured in an article called "Risky Business". oh, and read my sex blog, Private Booth.
  • Mickey- amazing!
  • goetter: It was a burn building at a fire training center, and it was a pretty toasty one at that. Some of the research subjects had bailed out the day before when their gear started to fail. I wonder what that must have looked like to the guys sitting out with their bank of computer screens under a tent in the parking lot, monitoring every breath and heartbeat.
  • Goetter: all hail da open source! Good stuff.
  • peacay, wow. I just killed 45minutes looking at that. Bookmarked, and ready for updates. Good work!
  • I've managed to get through the last 9 months of Monkeyfilter on my company's time. Does that count as an achievement? If not, I feel like a bit of an underachiever considering all the cool stuff everyone else has achieved. Can we count superhuman alcohol consumption as an achievement, or does that earn you a black mark? God what has my life deteriorated to...
  • I've never done anything of note. I am, however, based on the recent Cheese-Nip commercial, lately calling people "homeslice." Make of it what you will, homeslice!
  • After years and years of wanting to pursue art full-time I've finally, mostly, taken the plunge. You can read my journal entry how the design market sucks, making commercial art as lucrative as being a ramen eating slacker social parasite painter. Suddenly fine art didn't seem like such an overly romanticized life choice. So I've started putting up a portfolio site from which I'd like to ramp up my existing sales and move to the nicer imported ramen. The gallery on my site is really incomplete. I dislike the backend content manager plus I have concerns about putting naked people on a site where people will be buying nice, simple, honest midwesternly family valued still lifes of pears. "Nekkid people!?! I thought she was a good artist!" Wishing not to offend the masses I've left the smutty stuff off--though I question this decision. Since a majority of my friends work somewhere in the sex industry, it all gets pulled into the paint. Friends like pro domme Mistress Minax or drag king Tom Erge.
  • I got published. And I finished my dissertation and was hired as an assistant professor (temporary, but still allows me to work for a year!)
  • I made it into Pseud's Corner in Private Eye last week... Excellent work. I'm quite jealous, now
  • It's so geeky it almost pains me to mention, but as a sideline I write for a video game review site, where I am known by a different nickname entirely. I also do some administrative work for them, mainly managing the bloggers.
  • I made it into Pseud's Corner With a knockout line, too!
  • OK, why not. A couple things you all might dig: one, I have taken a Polaroid a day every day since July of 2002. That's 1100 plus. two, Uglymatic. NSFW if animated cartoon nudity is frowned upon by your boss.
  • I haven't done anything of note since college. But when I was in high school I was in a segment of a local network feature called "Kids Say No to Drugs" or something. I drank real beer and smoked cigarettes on camera (I was 16). They wouldn't let me smoke weed though. In college I was in a comedy improv troupe. My best friend and I were going to go audition for Second City in Chicago, but then some other shit happened.
  • Yesterday, my nephew and I created our own puppet show entitled "Tooter the Elephant Learns To Go Potty." Good times.
  • cabingirl, painfully geeky? Clearly nobody read my post. ;) That's cool and you know it. Kindly stop saying "everyone's accomplishments", people. Several of us have stated that we accomplished nothing, and on top of that indignity you now ignore our posts too. *sniff* *sniff*
  • There's something only too appropriate about being diverted from an improv audition...
  • I'm doing a (semi, sorta) weekly music show. Last week's show was hip-hop, this weeks upcoming is blues, folk, and roots music. Most of the others are mixed. I mean, it's no published book, but some might enjoy it. Good job all, even those who accomplished nothing. That can be harder than it sounds!
  • I taught myself to tie my own shoes when I was a kid.
  • Curses, I'm tired. The correct link is in my profile.
  • www.mythicalbeasties.com i repeat mythicalbeasties.com
  • And earlier, when I said I didn't have any successes, I meant recent successes. There were successes once, long ago... "When I was se-ven-teen..." Allright, allright -- I won't do that. I mean only to say that nothing's been accomplished lately. One big rut. Work, sleep, going out on the weekend, striking out horribly. That's all. Now where'd I leave that gin? "...we'd hiiiiide from the lights on the vill-age green..."
  • I was responsible for design and supervision of one of the world's largest single flight kitchens in the Far East, an operation capable of producing 46,000 airline meals per day. Oh, no- that was somebody else.
  • I'm pulling a 4.0 GPA in culinary school.
  • I'm happily married (5 years last Friday). I'm the father of a healthy/happy 18mo old boy. I've been breathing for 35 years (as of last Saturday). I'm a nidan in Aikido. I'm pulling a 3.87 GPA in TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) school. I'm tens of thousands of dollars in education loan debt. I have no URL's to go with these accomplishments.
  • There's something only too appropriate about being diverted from an improv audition I've been improvising my whole life since then. I must be doing something right, because people keep laughing at me.
  • Yes, yes. *pats head condescendingly*
  • Oh, and I made a new tagline for Delta Airlines: You're lucky to be alive. I think it's quite catchy.
  • I trained for and finished my first ever half ironman triathlon at the end of July and will be volunteering at the actual Ironman race in Hawaii. I'm also excited that in about two weeks I'll have my Open Water Scuba Diver certification. However, I'm most proud of the fact that I'm driving 80% less than I used to and am working my way to decrease it even more.
  • Oy, peacay that website o' yours deserves an FPP!
  • Perhaps Koko, Capt. Renault and I should hire Mr. T to drive us around in a van and travel the hemisphere meeting interesting people, having adventures and righting wrongs? But, you know, wearing only our jammies. Hmm, we have the Captain, he's in charge and will make excellent pre-disaster quips... we have Koko our resident femme fatale and close combat expert... we have me, former con artist and forger but now a sophisticated genetleman of leisure who can convince anyone of anything... seems to me we need a possibly insance computer expert and aircraft mechanic!
  • and someone who can spell! We need that too :(
  • Mad Dog quidnunc the insurance expert reporting for dooty, Lootenant Fes! Hyuk!
  • You got some jammies, Mad Dog?
  • my new pastime is baby-proofing. i few weeks ago i built a sheltered platform to set up the cat's litter box on the terrace. last weekend i added a hinged perspex screen to the base of the telly stand unit. honestly, the excitement never stops. or at least the list of things to do never ends.
  • I've seen happiness, here and there, during the course of my life. A few times I catched it briefly. Usually I didn't knew it but after the fact. I'm getting better at it.
  • btw, mare: great film.
  • This is what I did on my summer vacation. Latest entries first, so read from the bottom up.
  • I got no link, but I'm working on a deal that'll get me out of coach on the money train. Basically a big break in Escortlandia. Oh...well, and a couple week's back I did get $1000 for three hours of talking to a really rich guy and giving him a spectacular handjob.
  • I'm happy that I've survived my 142nd blissful day of marriage to my better half. I finally stood up to my family and confronted them on some issues that had been bothering me for years. And I got to say exactly what I wanted to (it was via email, but it was a vicious email. VICIOUS!!!!!! They were all like "DAMN!", and I was all like "DAMN RIGHT!", and then they were all like "DAAAAAAAAAAAMN.")
  • Go jim_t! I do like the van idea, Fes. Especially the part about wearing our jammies. I'm all about comfy clothes. And punching people!
  • Like my dear Unka Fes, I've done nothing of note to date. However, I am starting research on an historical fiction book that my dad will be writing. If it turns out the way we hope it does, we're going to try and shill it to Hollywood. Then I'll be rich rich rich, I tell you!! I'll buy you all one of Kitfisto's paintings! In the meantime, I got nothing. Hell, in two months, I won't even have a job.
  • Congratulations, jim_t!
  • I am making a movie about a Unicorn who writes a self-help book. Really nothing to brag about since I haven't done anything yet. I'll be back c. Decemeber though...
  • Wrote two published novels, won silver in the World Over-50 fencing championships, finished the Dang Dissertation, ran a marathon once, done a few other similar things along the way. I have a short attention span and I get bored easily.
  • Oh, yeah, and I raised a kid to the age of almost 23 and graduate school despite dropping her several times.
  • CaptainSunshine - I'm (almost) speechless. Powerful stuff. I'd only heard of the vigilante groups who patrol the border, so this is a blessing to know about. Paz!
  • I'm working on my MA thesis, but I just found a site that I could potentially do for my PhD - almost no-one's touched it and it's two miles away. I signed up for belly dancing classes and took the first one last night. Huge step for me, as I am a clumsy introverted ungraceful archaeologist. The fact that a serious chunk of novel hit me last February and hasn't abated is causing me problems. Time management has never been a good skill of mine and now there's just TOO MUCH to do.
  • I am getting married in eighteen days.
  • Wow! So much great stuff! My roommates and I built a koi pond. And just now I learned how to use flikr to post those photos. (and congrats bernockle!)
  • I had one job interview last summer after moving to California... and it landed me a teaching position in Beverly Hills.
  • I am in the middle of improving my baseball attractiveness to major league teams
  • Captain Sunshine, that sounds like it's going to be a hell of a movie.
  • I was gonna say that i got my first article published in the Reader's Digest, but after reading MoneyJ's post, I changed my mind. :) ...and congrats to bernockle!
  • Wrote two published novels, won silver in the World Over-50 fencing championships, finished the Dang Dissertation, ran a marathon once... Oh yeah? Well, uh, I didn't do any of that stuff . :-) But I say congrats to all the monkeys who think they didn't do stuff worth mentioning. No really, because a good posting on MoFilter that made me laugh, made me think, or got me riled enough to Google up a storm is gold in my book. And I remember many such postings from many of ye...
  • Capt. Sunshine, it's good work you're doing! When it's completed, remember to let someone at Skidmore Scope know so that they can help you get the word out!
  • Contributed to the forthcoming Cambridge Encyclopedia of Zola.
  • um. I've been absent from the filtration of monkeys for a bit. i haven't been around in #mofirc either. I've been around tho. there's a good, solid reason, though - there's a lully little girly-wirly in my life (some of the #mofirc folks probably remember the initial wooo!!!!!-ing - much luff to melinika, varj, deblon, tracicle, mothninja and everyone else who cheered me on!) So that's been a big fun thing. Big. Fun. I played a live set for 3 hours on saturday night which was daft but satisfying. I had a review published in mess+noise and largely thanks to the influence of mofi luminaries like beeswacky i've been writing a fuckload of poems lately. Yay!
  • Typical...guy gets a girlfriend and we never see him again.
  • yeah... well.. sucks to be you, rocket88! nah, not really! come 'ere, ya big lug! *hugs*
  • I'm releasing my short zombie-comedy in two weeks. It's going to be fun.
  • I did poo poo in the big boy's toilet. All by myself.
  • I need someone to zip up my zipper.
  • f8xy, I made a short black comedy about the Total Information Awareness network a couple of years ago. Someone with bandwidth should host a Monkeyshorts Film Festival.
  • So, bernockle, if you're getting married, you haven't actually done anything yet, have you? I keed, I keed. Congratulations!
  • MonkeyFilter: My best friend and I were going to go audition for Second City in Chicago, but then some other shit happened.
  • I was in a little group - you may have heard of them . . the fuckin' Beatles?!? . . Anyways until that bastard Lennon got jealous 'cause I pulled all the birds. These days, I'm quite enjoying myself as a streaming media superstar with me Mum in D.C. I spend most days just eating, lying around in me jammies and letting a few fly, if you know how I mean. Life is good, yeah?
  • You can ride in our van with us and lead us in rounds of 99 Bottles of Beer, pete. All has-beens and ne'er weres in their jammies are welcome. Just keep the bass lines to yourself, yeah?
  • If this van's a rockin'... ...open the window!
  • I did some sums last night - I can do these Ts for £10, not £15, for the monkeys if 10 or more are ordered. Thanks. Go on, treat yerself
  • I'm in.
  • Flickr is having a massage right now, kitfisto. But I'm expecting that I'll join the ranks of monkey orders.
  • I am getting married in eighteen days. posted by bernockle at 02:50AM UTC on September 22, 2005 ...will there be owl semen on the menu?
  • I was already planning to buy one. And I'm still planning to buy one. So there!
  • How much do owls cost in Manitoba?
  • I meant a t-shirt! And I don't want any owl semen on it!
  • So where do we put your owl semen, then?
  • And I'm gonna need someone to sign for it. Someone who has washed their hands first.
  • kitfisto- count me in. I'd pay extra for owl semen.That way I could impregnate some lady owls, start an owl farm, turn it into an nobel peace prize winning owl sperm bank then I'd rule the world! But later... I'd offer a discount for my CD on iTunes for monkeys if Steve Jobs wasn't so damn greedy. Eh, probably wouldn't make a difference- nobody likes jazz 'cept me and Wolof.
  • I am not interested in any owl semen at this time! Please remove me from your call list!
  • I won this last year. Even without owl semen.
  • Wow. And even though every single word in that title is in English, I have no idea what it means.
  • Well, just think of how great you could have been if you had used owl semen.
  • Kamus -- I like the jazz. I'm even going to see Ornette Coleman at the end of October. Sure, I'll need a Sherpa to guide me to my seat, but still.
  • Everyone likes the jazz. If you don't like the jazz, you don't get any Jell-o pudding.
  • But apparently, SOME PEOPLE don't like the jizz. Of our feathered friends, at least.
  • a jizz musician? Geeedowtdaheaaah!
  • You should see the jam sessions.
  • kamus wrote: Eh, probably wouldn't make a difference- nobody likes jazz 'cept me and Wolof. two birds, one stone (no semen). I'm writing an article on jazz for the Encyclopedia of Activism and Social Justice (an accomplishment-to-be, if you will) and I do like teh jazz. Also working on a project--though I am but a small contributor--to digitally preserve hundreds of hours of free-jazz jams held in houses aroound Woodstock, NY circa 1969-1975. Among the names of artists written on these crumbly reel-to-reel tapes that were stored in a barn the last twenty years are: Archie Shepp Pharoah Sanders Dewey Redmond Jimmy Garrison Sam Rivers Rashied Ali Sonny Simmons Dave Burrell Sunny Murray Tommy Turrentine Jumma Santos Arthur Doyle Leon Thomas Barry Harris Gene Dinwiddie Bobby Keys Yes, I like me some jazz.
  • I recently finished a short story about a fork and a spoon. It involves a murder? Hello? The Edge Of Reason
  • kitfisto, count me in for one of them fab-u-lo tees you are hawking.
  • nice, deconstructo. let us know when you've managed to mp3ize summadat chazz.
  • Has this thread morphed into the kitfisto hawks t-shirts thread? Either way, I want one!
  • Cool deconstructo! Good luck on that. I actually did some jamming with Don Cherry, Karl Berger, Bob Moses and others at Woodstock in the late seventies- I don't think any were taped that I know of. If you come across any, let me know!
  • So many good things here. Congrats to everyone. It's gonna take some time to get through all of these great things. Stupid job...
  • Late to the show (as usual) Lessee, I graduated with a second masters a month ago. I also organize an annual school supplies drive for under-privileged children in Ghana (and personally deliver the supplies).
  • Wus-hus, kamus- I just had a listen, and will definitely be seeking more info! Verra nice.
  • I'm not selling t-shirts. I've been helping Louisiana's Department of Transportation respond to all of the various transit providers needs, and get information together for their meetings with the FTA to provide funding. I've also been working on promoting more investment in transit for Louisiana. Next Saturday I'll be a team leader for Austin Found.
  • Let's hear it for all the monkeys who were engaged in charitable pursuits- helping victims at NOLA, helping raise awareness of the plight of migrants, bringing relief to underpriveliged African children, preserving Jazz and rescuing animals etc. Your altruism humbles me. Also let's not forget the parents- that's important work. You guys make me proud to be a monkey! (not being facetious, for once)
  • Yay to you all! I'll gather the various momkeys together in one big happy email type thing for confirmation soon. If anyone is really desperate for added jizz, I might be able to 'place an order', if ya know what I'm sayin'!! Sorry, obviously I'd never do such a thing. 'Tis a sin, don't you know?
  • I've emailed everyone who's expressed an interest. I took emails from your profiles, so if anyone has a fake one and is still interested, or has yet to ask for one, email me (in my profile). Ta
  • This isn't me, but my good and very talented friend has some fab paintings of dogs that you can buy. Feel free to check em out. He takes commissions too, if you have a special pooch you'd like immortalising in oils. He's probably a bit more expensive than me, but that's cos he's better...
  • Hang on a minute. Now you're posting somebody else's stuff in a self-post thread. That's just plain wrong... I think...
  • Banninate!! Heh.
  • Non-Self-Link!! BANNINATE! BANNINATE! *whirls around wildly, rolls down corridor*
  • My two-year dry spell ended this summer, dammit.
  • Not that deserves a golf clap.
  • There's nothing more difficult than maintaining a lifestyle of heavy drinking. Go waraw!
  • Or rich and profligate promiscuity. Go waraw!
  • I know! Definitely a grey area!!! However, he's the best chum a boy could have, and if I shilled them in a FPP I'd definitely be drummed out...I'm so confused! Just buy a freakin painting off the guy! I love you all. Especially you. That's right, you, reading this right now.
  • Who, me?
  • No, me!
  • Yes, that's right...you!
  • Her?
  • And this is how you tell me? On some site on the internets where all my friends can see it? *runs out of room, sobbing* *slams door, whimpers*
  • And he loves you too
  • Hyuk! . . . Gawrsh! *sighs in mirror*
  • Get those PJs on!
  • No, you, silly!
  • No,...you... hey, I've got an idea...
  • *crickets*
  • -----------------tumbleweed---------->
  • Housing 2 evacuees from Rita as of this evening!
  • I'm really enjoying this thread! I love reading about you all and your vast and varying array of accomplishments!! My head is whirling from all this information.
  • In 1993, I came up with an idea for a video game. It's been pretty successful.
  • Hhmmm. Yea, just a little. /sarcasm
  • Wow! You all have some interesting accomplishments. I managed to get bilateral inguinal hernias last week. When the doctor gave me the news I was sorely disappointed to find out that I'm not just sprouting a second pair of testicles. Oh well. At leat now I'll have some time off work and I can hang around Monkeyfilter a bit.
  • Ouch! And four testicles would be so useful too, if somewhat crowded. I just made my first ever risotto, and it sure is fantastic. It's part of my cut-back-on-processed-foods plan, which goes hand in hand with my expand-my-cooking-repertoire plan and my save-money and conserve-resources schemes. Some may call this a lifehack, but I think that's a silly word.
  • I got an email today from a recruiter with the exact description of the job I currently hold, thus implying I am being fired as soon as they find someone to replace me. I guess that's not technically an "accomplishment" but what the hell.
  • In general, my accomplishments are limited to really good cups of coffee and roasting carrots in the toaster oven. But my cousin's band just relaunched their website and I've been meaning to pimp them because I like their music. And I'm not just saying that because Noelle used to play Cyndi Lauper on the piano for us to sing along to as kids. Ladies and Gentlemen... The Stepsisters Go see them if you live near the Big Detroit.
  • That link's borked. This will work. Mmhh, Teri's hot...
  • Whoa, I must need a nap. Sorry about that.
  • drjimmy11, that totally stinks. What do you do?
  • drjimmy, for amusement's sake and to piss off your employers, even a little, you ought to apply. Seriously, that really does suck. Presumably you're already looking for a new job (since you're receiving job descriptions). Good luck in finding something better and with less sucky employers.
  • Stepsisters good. Captain like.
  • See, this is the problem with going out of town for a couple of days. I missed an entire thread devoted to me. Me! Me! And also to everybody else, admittedly. Anyway, if anybody is still reading this, my book is called The Government Manual for New Superheroes, and you can learn more about it at the official website of The Government Bureau of Superheroics. Congratulations to everybody on your myriad accomplishments! (And my sympathies to everybody who has had something crappy happen.)
  • I ended up playing piano and recorder on this project last January (I know the musical architect from my stint playing electric piano and Farfisa for timewellspent a year ago), and it's pretty awesome. Despite the fact that it hasn't been released yet, it's getting some serious buzz in the South Florida press, and the raw versions I've heard of the songs have been beautifully recorded and engineered. jacobw's site is very fine indeed, and I'm gonna pick the book up as soon as I can.
  • Thanks, the_bone. And back at you: based on the excerpts from the album, that's a beautifully dreamy sound you guys have there.
  • Drunk as I am with web fame and fortune, I feel the need to drum up more business. I still don't rule the world. This will not do. Any other sites that might like to link to me / publicise my work? Do any of you hip and trendy monkeys, or quid, have any suggestions as to where else I can shill my wares online? I don't think Boing Boing will bite again so soon. I'm not really being greedy, I might be unemployed in 2 months so really need to make extra cash...Help me Monkeyfilter, you're my only hope. Thank you please.
  • Dunno, kit, but beetroot.com appears to be available.
  • Why didn't I think of that!! *slaps forehead*
  • I thought you were doing fairly well for yourself. Seriously, everywhere I look, you're already listed. Putting your gallery on its own site might help, though of course there are some costs involved.
  • I'm taking that Soho-hopping ponce to court for copyright infringement!
  • Don't bother going to court. 1. Intercept his rent cheques. 2. "See that name there? That's me!" 3. Profit! Of course, you'll need to stash some aside for your future defense, but in the meantime you'll do quite well. It's all about low overhead.
  • Heh Funny you should say that. I've just had an email from the Miffy people moaning about 'infringement'. Of course I'll cave in, but I've sent them an initial reply pleading artistic freedom!! It had to happen!
  • I like the idea of Miffy having enforcers... one wonders if they are as lacking in facial detail as their protected charge? That would be a very disconcerting look on a lawyer's face.
  • I bet they all carry Rocket Propelled Grenade launchers too! Might as well get as many people to see it as possible before I'm dragged of to gaol!
  • Remember -- when it comes to copyright infringement, the law offers a lot of leeway for satire. (Although I have the feeling this is more pastiche than satire proper, but who cares?) Just more fodder for your stalling letters.
  • Well, it's actually an anti-war painting (no, really, it is), it simply uses a character from popular culture in the tradition of artists such as Warhol, Rauschenberg and Koons. I could bore you with the art bullshit that goes with the piece, but I'll spare you that. Unfortunately, I can't afford even the smallest of court cases (see possible redundancy note above), so I fear stalling is all I can afford.
  • Wow. 48 hrs, huh? Generous. Mind you, if Commando Miffy goes underground, she'll be even cooler. Contraband Miffy. Illegal Miffy Art. There are worse reasons to go to jail. (Or 'gaol', sorry.) AND THEN you'd be serving at Her Majesty's Pleasure, which means one thing -- a commission! Think of it as a massive piece of performance art. You'll be famous! Everyone will want a piece of you when you get out! Hell, look what jail did for Lord Archer -- he was a nobody before he went in the slammer, and look at him now!
  • You still sellin' shirts, katmolesto?
  • Your right! *chains self to nearest railings*
  • I ain't sellin nuffin, man... meet me round the back in 15 minutes
  • *dons flasher-style trenchcoat*
  • *wonders if this meeting is going to get out of hand*
  • > Everyone will want a piece of you when you get out! um, and maybe while you're in too...
  • *powers up vibrating beetroot*
  • Yeah - this is your opportunity to become a celebrated web martyr - a perfect international marketing opportunity. You should run up a "Free Kitfisto" painting/T-shirt immediately. Maybe with a crucified Miffy...
  • Wow. My life's looking real rosy at the moment - unemployment and jail time.
  • phree teh monkeyphilter 1!
  • If you'd like to start a fighting fund, I take paypal...
  • You can always get a job on the inside, kit. You just have to suck up to the foreman.
  • That's actually quite funny Capt. Did you get help?
  • If by 'help', you mean 'Wild Turkey', then yes.
  • Heh - In my reply, which was a combination of 'get fucked' and 'hold on there, rich lawyer types, lets try and sort this out', I offered to sell the offending painting to them. I wonder if they'll go for it...
  • Good luck with your fight kitfisto! I'll start preparing the 'gaol' care package now.
  • hmmm...very late to the party (or riot, as the case may be) but I suppose in the last year my main accomplishment is becoming a producer of soft-core panty-fetish pornography. (no, really!) my husband and I have learned how to shoot, set up lights, edit the footage, record voice-over tracks etc., so if there are any secret cross-dressing, panty-wearing, or panty-sniffing, or needing to be gently dominated sissy boys lurking on MoFi, I kin set ya up with some juicy action, but email me, I think I will still refrain from that self-link thing here *shy*
  • *shy* It's always the shy and retiring types that put out the fetish porn, isn't it? Well, I'm not a cross-dressing, panty-wearing, or panty-sniffing, or needing to be gently dominated sissy boy, and I can't speak for pete or kit, but please remember that we're always willing to act as a focus group of yours, Medusa, to make sure your porn is everything it can be. That's our gift to you!
  • I'm making a movie called "the Modern Unicorn's Guide to Love and Magic." He's a con-man Unicorn who writes a self-help book. it's set to premiere in late Feb., but here's some still photos to hold you over....
  • I'll start preparing the 'gaol' care package now. Dude, "Gaol" is now called France, and it's full of Frenchies. Talk American, dammit. kitfisto, check your profile e-mail. Me want shirty.
  • Yersee! THAT'S why Medusa gets the shrine! *tootles off to check email, not that I'm selling anything, oh no, not me sir...*
  • I just finished a screenplay entitled "Slackers From Planet X" which I'm currently in the processs of revising and I'm also in the process of storyboarding an animated short with a couple of the principal characters from the screenplay. I've written a couple of tunes for the soundtrack as well. Not much, but it's a start. More bits will be showing up here eventually.
  • I got an email today from a recruiter with the exact description of the job I currently hold, thus implying I am being fired as soon as they find someone to replace me. I guess that's not technically an "accomplishment" but what the hell. Oh wow- I totally forgot I mentioned this here (see way upthread) It ended up with my boss reassuring me I wasn't going to be fired, just moved to other duties. Shorty thereafter I got a call from a recruiter and ended up getting a new job within the company that was: a) permenant, not contract b) way better in a lot of ways c) allowed me to turn the tables on the people who were screwing with my head at the old job by resigning and d) allowed me to have enough security to spend the ridiculous amount of money I spent out of my own pocket on the Unicorn movie
  • Under the circumstances, I feel compelled to say: "who do I have to blow to get my shrine back??" Do NOT answer that question.
  • *discreetly lowers hand*
  • *wonders if he answers 'mothninja', if medusa would be willing to film and produce*
  • Right, since this is the official brag post: I took my GRE recently and got a perfect score on the verbal and analytical sections! (don't ask about the quantitave). /sits back down
  • Well done, drjimmy!
  • thanks, Cap'n, I was quite happy about it although I didnt really do much but be lucky enough to have the recruiter call me with the better job. And good job, Nick. Rather ironic that you would get a numerical score for "quantitative," isnt it? Seems like you should get something more like "meh, he did OK, all things considered."
  • I could tell that the computer was feeling pretty sorry for me toward the end of the quantitative. The last three questions were prefaced with this: "Here, just average these numbers. You can average right? Good!"
  • Shit- that joke makes no sense. If you had said "qualitative" it would've been quite funny. Goddammit.
  • It's okay, I used my analytical powers to figure out what you were talking about, drjimmy ;)
  • *keeps hand up*
  • nickdanger, congratulations! I got a perfect verbal score on the GRE and a very decent analytical (~90%) but I only managed a 50% on the math section :P I will be happy to film and produce all and any monkeyporn that happens, altho I cannot promise to feature it on the pantyboy site. Perhaps, while I sit on my throne (thanks Kit, I love my t-shirt, btw!) we can come up with some sort of challenge re what will Koko do to regain the throne?? film at 11 ;)
  • I took my GRE recently and got a perfect score on the verbal and analytical sections! (don't ask about the quantitave). Hey, you score the perfect on the verbal, then but why you spell the "quantitative" is it the wrong? Why? Why? but seriously, congratulations
  • I got a perfect verbal score on the GRE and a very decent analytical (~90%) but I only managed a 50% on the math section You too? You score the perfect also but why you spell the "although" without the good letters? Why? Why? Why? p.s. please send me one pantyboy (size medium)
  • oh StoryBored you wound me to the core!! tis true that I have used a pernicious abbreviation in my post, I'M LAZY :D um, so you want a pantyboy? well, thats not actually what we sell...althoUGH I do get lots of emails from pantyboys looking for a dominant woman to dress them up and try them like little sluts... maybe I should start a matching making site?
  • TREAT them like little...ak! I even previewed /luzer!
  • Fortunatly they don't test speling.
  • ♫ Matchmaker, matchmaker, make meeee a match.... ♫
  • I've got a GREAT pair of frilly pink satins for you, mct!
  • Um, sorry, I, er, 'borrowed' that pair... I'll put them in the wash now, you should have them back soon...
  • *sniff*
  • PANTY-SNIFFER!!! YSF!
  • This is true, Yoda Sucks Furries!
  • Wow, there's a mental image I didn't need this morning.
  • MmmM. Orally pleasure you I will. mmMMmm
  • May the furries be with you.
  • **lays 2" boards over the thread this hole is in, pounds in 611 ring-shank nails, pushes heavy chest freezer over top** **wipes sweat out of eyes** There, that ought to do it.
  • Heh. Gram'ma said 'pounds'. Pffft!
  • what will Koko do to regain the throne?? film at 11 ;) *pulls chair closer to TV* *impatiently sips beer*
  • It's a throne now?? When I had it, it was a shoebox with candles and sparkles stuck to it. Once Space Kitty gets it, it'll be the Taj-freakin'-Mahal. I'm going to build my own shrine, complete with Sno-Cone machine, radar/sonar, and jet pack. None of you dumb fucks is gonna take it from me neither!
  • That's a dare if ever I heard one.
  • So . . . what kind of market is there for panty videos? Is it . . untapped?
  • Kit, are you going to link to the Miffy-like image?
  • Hey guys, I peed on one of my socks. Anybody want to sniff it?
  • Check kitfisto's profile for the link to his art.
  • My 'Intro to Lesbian & Gay American History' professor just emailed me to tell me I got an A in last semester's course! Now give me the Taj Mahal!
  • ok! we need a taj mahal with a shrine for koko and a throne for me(dusa) and a special room filled with dirty panties and nickdangers socks (ew!) the walls will be hung with kit's art and pantyporn will play 24-7!
  • And that, children, is how we knew when Jesus had returned and established his kingdom.
  • (jesus wears panties!!)
  • Congrats, Space Kitty!!!!!!!
  • Check kitfisto's profile for the link to his art. Yeah, but, you know ...
  • Holy Crap! Space Kitten totally wins! She's doing a show with Margaret Cho tomorrow night!
  • Thanks, Darshon! Now if only the rest of my professors would get back to me...
  • The Offending Item! Last Chance To See!
  • Oh, and that Taj Mahaley thing sounds cool. I'm in!
  • Actually, that link above will probably be dead soon, as I am planning on caving in to 'the man's' demands. So, the image can live on in the quiet backwater of the internet that is this thread.
  • any em-eye-eph-eph-why tees left kit?
  • Step into my office... (email's in my profile...)
  • Space Kitty learned the gay real good! Give her The Taj! And congrats to the kitten as well! She may share The Taj with mom.
  • I've caved in, BTW. Threatened me with legal action. Bastards.
  • Ah, Miffy, we hardly new ye. *sniff* *pours chocomel for kit, absentmindedly drinks it*
  • *reaches for chocomel just as it's snatched away* *bursts into bitter tears of frustration*
  • Oh, I'm sorry! *hands glass to kit with one swallow left and lip marks on it*
  • The photo you were looking for has been deleted. WoOOOooaaaahhhh I been lookin for my photo SOOOoo many long years *solo* OH YES I been Lookin for my photo OHHH these many, many long years *solo* But you know those coprate lawyers MMmmMmm done reduced me to tears ~ But I'll be back! *rawkus solo*
  • *does big teary and snotty sniff* Thanks guys *drains glass*
  • in the taj mahal art will never be stifled by oppressive overladies! artistic freedom and panties for all!
  • and 'chocomel' whatever the f*ck that is...
  • its the latest in fetish
  • I'd love a t-shirt with that Miffy on it.
  • Chocomel in England? The Land of Eng? Bwha..?
  • Apparently it is available, but I've not found it. Oh how I wish...
  • Awesome!
  • I finally have my firm's website up and running. Pretty basic stuff -- just enough info to trigger a google hit. The business blurb is written from search keywords backwards, so it's not a contender for the Booker by any means. I am proud of my self-designed logo, though. I wanted to avoid those stupid scales of Justice, so I came up with a stylized version of a series of law books. And it almost works! You are all duly invited to googlebomb the fuck out of my site, to make it come up on the first page for a search on "Grimsby" and "Lawyer". Much obliged.
  • Who's a clever boy then? Anyone? Anyone?
  • . . . Little Jack Horner?
  • Me. That's right, I'M a clever boy. Anybody got anything to SAY ABOUT IT?!!
  • Uh, no. Not particularly. Should I?
  • Nice site, Capt. - I like the grey background. How 'bout a clickable link to the email address? I'd use something other than Times New Roman, though.
  • Ooh! FAQ about the Cap'n!
  • Well done, Cap'n!
  • Chocolate-covered bananas! Good job.
  • Thanks, everyone. There's some tweaking that still needs to be done, but I just wanted to throw something up onto the internets because a local competitor colleague got his site up and running on the first. We're even talking about a picture of yours truly, but a haircut is a definite prerequisite for that...
  • Pshaw - give the Monkeys a photo, we'll offer an appealing selection of Photoshopped coiffures to choose from. Dibs on the Mohawk!
  • How about a "subscribers only" area with hardcore lawyerin' videos?
  • I think a giant pompadour would work. Like those Russian Elvii.
  • Grimsby?!?! Go Peach Kings!!!
  • Someone in the big smoke has heard of the Peach Kings? I'm -- I'm touched. Seriously. Dude. *single tear runs down cheek*
  • *licks off tear*
  • Big Smoke? Bite your tongue man, I'm from Hamilton!
  • Oh -- jeez -- sorry. Didn't mean to insult you there. I honestly thought you were up in T.O., and not the Hammer. My apologies.
  • I live in Winnipeg!
  • You snubbed me in the Valentine thread, so I'm not talking to you. *sticks out tongue*
  • Oh shit! I fixed it go look!
  • OK...in that case, Yay Winnipeg! (except the Blue Bombers)
  • when did you people start talking funny talk? I was with you up through the haircut thing . . . Is this that "ubby dubby" language I've heard so much about?
  • May I respectfully suggest this for the picture?
  • Yay Winnipeg! Actually, I only mentioned I live here to get sympathy.
  • Don't worry...there's only about 14 or 15 more weeks of winter up there.
  • *sob*
  • Don't worry... you have six Starbucks within 3 km to keep you warm during those 14, 15 weeks of winter.
  • The requested picture, as featured on both the front page AND page three of our local Friday paper. Prepare to have your illusions shattered. Sorry, ladies. I've been told said picture makes me look 'dishevelled and annoyed', which, come to think of it, is a fairly accurate portrayal.
  • You look like my brother-in-law, except that he's an accountant.
  • Ah now, you look sweet. And awfully young to be doing all this lawyery stuff. *rumples hair* *realizes it's now perfectly straightened* *applies Aqua Net*
  • HAIRCUT! oops, did I say that out loud? :) Bananas to you for helping the community. Hope one of those wills lead to a big fat personal injury settlement. And if not - well it's good karma, anyway.
  • Nice picture, Capt., although I was hoping to see a cape and unitard. Great campaign idea! I was disappointed to see it seems to be an Ontariariario-only thing.
  • Good on ya, Cap'n! now get a haircut and straighten that tie.
  • I still say giant pompadour.
  • I thought you'd be taller...
  • I had a 'do' all photoshopped, but one dassn't mess with lawyer photos. Even Canadian ones.
  • "I thought you'd be taller..." That was the plan. But I have ginourmous feet, so it all works out.
  • This is the pompadour for the Capt. It combines the hip with the vulnerable. Maybe we need an annonymous photoshoping effort. I think it would make him look really hot.
  • You call that a pompadour??? This is a pompadour!!!
  • If you look really closely, you can see he's writing 'I love quiddy' over and over and over again on that notepad... Quite touching really. Inappropriate touching, that is.
  • ))))))), islander!
  • The linky's all kinky and now I can't see the pretty picture of the MonkeyMan. *pouts*
  • No loss. Islander's offerring is much more photogenic.
  • Nicer haircut, anyway...
  • I think the Capt looks like a lovely young man. I'd always thought he'd be a little be more navel or maybe even pirate-tanical. Fixed Link. Capt. any chance you could hook me up with Jennifer Markowitz, she lives near you and is hot. ..Oh dear just read the article, shes only 11. Still it's legal in Texas.
  • you had to read the article to figure out she's underage!! naughty naughty randomaction!
  • Fiwth!
  • iwhth? htthuui?
  • Since I've gotten such a sweet, friendly response from all the monkeys to my scribblings in other threads, I put them all on the internets for you. Go crazy. I have.
  • Holy Bonanza Batman! Them's a good poem-hole! Thanks Pantsie!
  • Seconded. I can't see MacAllister's Banana, though...
  • Such prolific pants!
  • You have to really want to see it! Also, if would probably help if my html skills didn't suck quite so badly.
  • I've been doing some drawings recently, too They aren't very good, unfortunately
  • Um . . Okay, I'm not clicking that.
  • Its perfectly safe for work, young pete best. I am not completely evil
  • Or am I? I am no longer sure
  • 'Sokay, petebest, it's goaste, not goatse. And the second-last strip made me laugh.
  • dng yes, it is SFW. I am not sure your mind is safe for human consumption tho...
  • Heh. I like the Ian Fleming one.
  • randomaction, you might want to update your knowledge of ages of consent. 11 isn't legal in TX or anywhere else in the US.
  • I am not sure your mind is safe for human consumption tho... I am trying to keep the zombies at bay Wait! That doesn't quite work, does it? Just... Just ignore that
  • patita, I'm pretty sure he was just messing with Texas. Although that's strictly verboten.
  • Underpants, I was charmed and mesmerized and amused. Made my day! Neat-o collection. You should be very proud.
  • If anyone is still intersted in T-shirts of my paintings, you can now get them from a reputable online retailer! My new T-shirt shop! Much cheapness!
  • You've convinced me! One bunnybot please!
  • Got anything in a Panda?
  • Are you paying royalties now, kitfisto?
  • No Duke of Squeeee?
  • Ooooooh, bunnybot!
  • now you too can be an icon of cool, like Medusa, when she wears her KitfistoKlassic bad pic of me in good t-shirt
  • Ooh, nice pic!
  • I'll be doing a Duke one based on this pic, I think. Not paying royalties, these people just do the printing etc for me...
  • Oh, Monster, what a grand assortment of poems -- I note with especial amusement the one about all those socks! Is there something essentially silly about protuberances like feet or toes, so whatever enfolds them must march to a risable drumbeat unheard, untrodden by other clothes?
  • dng, I enjoyed your cartoons immensely. Monkeys are so ingeniously inventive I'm always diverted into looking -- so you are definitely EVIL!
  • Jesus dng I think I just laughed up my pancreas.
  • Sorry...
  • Monkeyfilter: I just laughed up my pancreas
  • I love it! Specifically, in black. I love it in black. Definitely . . . definitely very squeee . . mmyeeah . . of course, he's an excellent bucket-sitter . . .
  • Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
  • My crystal stemware!!
  • My glass eye!
  • My precious Hummel figurines!
  • Can't have black until it gets done in illustrator 9and only 2 colour!), apparently. I don't have illustrator. Any colour you like as long as it's white...
  • Love, love love.
  • I could do black ones myself though, if anyone really can't wear white....
  • Any chance the Duke of Squee could make an appearance on child-size clothing?
  • Only if you want him to eat their braaaaaiiiins.... Of course, not a problem.
  • I made kitfisto go to a women's clothing store to find a women's t-shirt and he had to speak to a gay homosexual to ask what size to get and the gay homosexual wanted to date him. And I don't even want a shirt!
  • He wanted to 'do' me, not just date me. And they were playing modern 'pop' music in there too. I was scared.
  • DOMO-KUN! Shouts-out to MoFiLa, Austin Monkeys, emailing monkeys, hospital-visiting monkeys, ice-cream-bringing monkeys, happy hour-sponsoring monkeys, dinner-making monkeys, errand-running monkeys and housekeeper-sending monkeys. We love you all very much. If I've overlooked thanking anyone, blame sleep deprivation and accept our heartfelt thanks. xoxoxoxoxo from both Kitty and Kitten of Space (and the newest member of the compound: Ziggy Starfoot)
  • Ah. Kitty-cutie.
  • Oh noes! Did Domo-kun render the poor kitty legless?
  • Glad that you and the kitten made it through, kitty. And that's some seriously good hair action there. Just, -- wow.
  • So many kitties!
  • I so love Domo-Kun! I want that plushie! I'm also glad Kitten is doing well. I had surgery on my spine, and it ain't fun. Good wishes winging your way!
  • London Monkeys are all invited to go to Westminster's Church Street Library, and harass Sister Renault. She's the new 'site manager' (head librarian) there, and started just this week. Along with decent pay and a crappy office, she gets a free city swim-pass. She knows nothing of Monkeyfilter, nor anything of my involvement on this site. Ask for Lina (rhymes with China). She's new to London, just having moved there from the Bronx. Go visit. Freak her out. She'll like that. (And yes, this doesn't really qualify as self-post filter, but I just don't care.)
  • Just a couple of points, Captain. This is your sister, right? She is not (a) some kind of scary nun person, (b) some ex-girlfriend you want to stalk by proxy, or (c) a paranoiac with a psychopathic six-foot ex-Marine boyfriend working in the same library? (d) an undercover policeman, or (e) you in drag???
  • No, no. Older sister. Only sister. Same last name and everything. Husband isn't exactly a six-footer.
  • Is he 7 ft?
  • "Whaddaya mean there's no Lisa Renault here?? Well, look again! Oh, alright I'll be quiet."
  • He wishes he was 7 ft. But don't mention that -- he's a little sensitive about his height! Enh? ENH?
  • sigh
  • *checks out Lovin' Petebest for Dummies, slips in Koko's backpack*
  • I've been meaning to post this for a while now, since you all were so nice in giving suggestions in my start a business link. Allow me to present Gillico Worldwide. What can Gillico do for you?
  • Lovely! Can you make it so it fits so nice in my firefox browser window? I have to scroll one-half a click to see the whole thing. Buy happy! So nice! :)
  • it should fit now. i made a small change- i use macs pretty much and then try to make it work on other machines. i had designed the front page for people to open up the site with windows with the page open full screen, not in a window. please let me know if that's better- you can email me thru the site if you don't want to clog up this thread with adjustments. and thanks! :)
  • I still have to scroll about 30 or 40 pixels, but it's no big deal. The graphics are excellent. /Mr_Burns
  • Luvverly, Queso!
  • My stupid cartoons got posted to Metafilter Hooray! (well, not if I get savaged to death by their hordes - then I expect I will be crying instead of cheering)
  • wow dng I can't decide if I think you are brilliant or insane, but then again perhaps that is an invalid distinction, no? the 'toons are occassionally quite brilliant, I too look forward to seeing how they fare [sic?] in the big blue sharkpit... btw, like, how old are you?
  • Eeeexcellent. It's all falling into place . . . Congrats dng!
  • btw, like, how old are you? I'm 27 I am sorry
  • I was always apologizing about my age when I was my age too. Oh no! This is the hell room! Beautiful. Can you erase one more time and make it say, "O noes! This is the hell room!" instead?
  • I can't think of any reason to apologize for being 27. I really like the one where the two ghosts crash into each other and amoeba into one ghost :D
  • Languagehat got a mention in Slate. Not to steal dingles's thunder. For I love him and his cartoons, as I have mentioned elsewhere.
  • Languagehat got a mention in Slate. All rise!
  • I like languagehat. It is a shame he has left us alone
  • Quiet you fool! A comment like that can cause The 'hat to pass us by . . .
  • i've made some free desktop images for Gillico, if you all are interested. they're available in multiple sizes from 800x600 up through 1920x1200. gillico desktops
  • Nice ones, Queso!
  • Oooh, those are pretty.
  • My latest daub. Title inspired by this classic pic, which still makes me laugh.
  • Luvely! Der Duke von Schquee is the perfect muse!
  • so, can i get my next t-shirt for half price?
  • nice new painting kit. and that next photo of sasha is sweet-o.
  • badly flashed out image of my newest finished (!) piece je suis une artiste drunke
  • Cool pictures Med and Kit.
  • Excellent work, Medusa. Together we will take over the art world!
  • fanks! /blushes
  • Purty!
  • I want opinions! I am now a big blog whore!!!11!!
  • Medusa: Rather lovely lips with an introspective look.. Plus nice capture of the clavicle and trachea, is it Susan Sarandon?
  • thanks randomaction! I don't know if you are joking about the Susan Sarandon part, altho I assume you are ;) the drawing is based on a photo of myself. its not a self-portrait per se, I merely used myself as a model, not seeking to make the image look exactly like myself particularly... I am going to be in a show on May 20th, to which I will invite local primates, once I have the details!
  • *hopes there will be more wine at the show*
  • Hey Kitfisto, is there anyway for American monkeys to get t-shirts? Your store doesn't seem to ship to the US.
  • Sure there is ... send the little scamp an email.
  • The Duke in Black!! /grumble "Hello . . . I'm the Duke of Squeee . . . . Love . . is a burnin' thing . . ."
  • Sold! Already. Woo!
  • Congrats!
  • awww, I was thinking about getting that one kit... give us a shout if you do anything similar! Congratulations, though!
  • Now you tell me! I could have put the ole 'red sticker' on it for ya...
  • AlexAnder I am an americant and I have my very own kitfisto t-shirt...you can do it!!! I know you can!! just try harder...concentrate!
  • Test Pilot!
  • I'm gonna be on local cable tv tonight, taking old peoples' calls about Wills and Estates. It's a dull show, hosted by a complete tool. But it's free advertising, and the old folks eat this shit up. Calls are entirely scripted, so you can stop scheming right now.
  • "Um, yesh hallooo?? Am I on?? Oh! Yes, I just want to ask that scrumptious Captain Renault - boxers or breifs?! (*snkk* - no, shut up, shut up! shhhh!) Uh, yes, My name is Sue Ellen Biggy, and I'm 87 years young! Hellooo cutieeee! Hellooooooo! Yoo Hoo! You're on my TV!" :D Heh heh. *Googles for call in number*
  • "It's a dull show, hosted by a complete tool. But it's free advertising, and the old folks eat this shit up." Just e-mailed that to Cogeco. I'm sure they won't take offense.
  • Wear your 'I'm available' t-shirt and you might get a date out of it too...
  • D'oh! Show went well enough. Only two callers, both of whom were planted. Only lost my train of thought once, when something happened in the background, and I completely forgot what I was talking about. The most uncomfortable part was pre-show, watching the host sexually harrass the co-op students. Badly. Having to watch someone sexually harrass another is pretty bad, but to do it poorly is unspeakably awful.
  • Listen to Mr 'I'm a big shot TV star now, my sexual-harrassing days are behind me' over there...
  • Don't need to sexually harrass anymore. I'm out there catching more tail than the Humane Society. *sobs*
  • My work is currently on show in the Saatchi Gallery. Well, not really, it's some crappy website, but it sounds good. I also got the ole Mofi T-shirt in there!
  • Didn't even know that Greta had a gallery -- good for her! And good on you, kit!
  • No, good on you, you prince amongst men...
  • Pshaw.
  • why don't you two just get a room? I'll pay...
  • Ah, springtime. When a young monkey's fancy lightly turns to love...
  • /sets up secret vid camera...sprinkles rose petals on the bed...strategically places ripe bananas on pillows...
  • Speaking of cool T-Shirts, I got mine, Kitfisto. I was going to take pictures of me rockin' it the upcoming Philly Rollergirls Game and post it on here but apparently there's this Mother's Day thing going on that day and I can't go. And just to somehow justify this post in this thread, here's some wierd stuff I did in Flipbook: 1 2 3 4
  • #4 had me worried for a second...
  • Only a second? *takes notes*
  • We have to justify our posts now? Awww!
  • Justify your posts however you please. Like Zorro, preferbaly...
  • Well played! /James_Lipton
  • Spitfire!
  • I dig it. Make some cheaper paintings!
  • I've reworked the Gillico Worldwide site, to make it work better on different sized monitors and show my work off a little better and incorporate a blog. Please feel free to assault it and let me know what I got wrong.. oh, and James Lipton at his best.
  • I thought my pricing was very reasonable...
  • kit, how about some good quality prints at, say, a third of the price?
  • Mmmm...I will look into it (I've just remembered one of my chums' hubby is a printer...)
  • Reasonable, but out of my price range at the moment. Just wishing I could afford one of your paintings, don't pay any attention to me.
  • Kit - I'd still like to see you silkscreen the panda pictures onto fabric. Flags or curtains made of them would be great.
  • or you could paint them onto plushy pandas.
  • Or...or..right, I could paint them onto real pandas! Imagine that! Turner Prize, here I come!
  • that would be awesome.
  • I've just accepted a job in the Hammer, and I'll be wrapping up my practice here. For the last year and a half, there hasn't been enough business coming in the door, and I've been pretty much working just to keep the lights on. Not to mention that the other lawyers in town are conducting a race to the bottom for fees. Add to that a toxic work environment with my former parter, and life hasn't been too hot for a while. So I'll be cashing out, and largely doing in-house work for a bank. Which has the attraction of practicing law, but not having to deal with clients. My existing clients are going to have a shitfest when they find out I'm taking off. Given that my access to the internets is work-based, my ranting and raving postings here may be a bit irregular over the next while.
  • Good on ya, Cappy! Sounds like a change for the better (no bank pun intended) even if it creates difficulties along the way. And perhaps new opportunities for zee romaunce, non?
  • The jig's up Cap'n - time to get one of them newfangled calculatin' machines at your residential abode. These days, why I hear they hook aether-wires to them and a vast universe of information appears as if by the pow'rful act of some unseen wizard! Good luck bank-wise tho. I hear hot chix work there.
  • Wot's "the Hammer"? /mystified Far Easterner.
  • Steeltown meetup!!!! (Is two people a meetup, or just a gay date?)
  • Depends if they're the same gender. Aaah - Hammerton, then.
  • Capt. Renault and rocket88 are going on a gay date *prepares FPP*
  • Good luck, cap'n, with your new career move and lifestyle choice!
  • Well done dude. Pastures new. Change, and not the small kind.
  • bonne chance, mon capitaine. et félicitations sur la nouvelle direction de tes rencontres amoureuses.
  • Thank you, all. Your words are very kind and welcome.
  • STFU! WHERE'S MY MONEY!!!???
  • Ah, spring.
  • OK, I add my ignorance to this thread. What's the Hammer? Also, good luck. Also, get a PC! Also, a bank? You sure? I work at a bank, and I highly recommend it to nobody. Also, congrats! Also, what's the Hammer again?
  • I was at a bank the other day when this drunk guy came up to the teller with his "friend's" ATM card, for which his "friend" had "forgotten" to give him the PIN, and he wanted to withdraw some money for his "friend" who was too "sick" to come to the bank himself. Hilarity ensued.
  • Hammer girls are easy, and dangerous.
  • Hammer Time!
  • Yeah, get a computer, you luddite! Do you do al your briefing in a clunky Remington or what? Good luck, cap'n, with your new career move and lifestyle choice! posted by Koko at 05:08PM UTC on May 16, 2006 Hey, that those wacko ladies haven't answered your net-based mating calls isn't reason for such drastic actions. Not that there's anything wrong with that...
  • For our non-Canadian monkey contingent, 'the Hammer' is Hamilton, Ontario. As for working for a bank, it's not quite even that. It's a trust company. One which owns a lot of malls and plazas -- I'll be in the exciting work of drafting commercial leases. The natural and inevitable use of two Philosophy degrees. And in big news across the street, our Bank of Montreal was shut down because of an anthrax scare. Some pissed-off customer sent some baking soda through the mail to a few BMOs in the area. Small town excitement!
  • Monkeyfilter: Get a computer, you Luddite!
  • For our non-Canadian monkey contingent, 'the Hammer' is Hamilton, Ontario For the non-Ontarian contingent, too.
  • Yeah, we don't all live in your Ontariocentric Universe, you Ontariofascistic Desponazi!
  • There used to adverts on British TV for holidays in Ontario. It had a catchy tune and looked very nice. SO CHUT UP YOU ONTARIO HATERS!! not that I've ever been, mind you.
  • 0n+4rIo rU1X0rz!! y'know, compared to Freezevania or Upper Icemunch or whatever. Or Texas.
  • Was that the "Come on everybody, get up and discover your On-ta-ri-o-o-o-o-o" song? I still get that running in my head sometimes.
  • Sounds vaguely dirty.
  • *gags*
  • *pogoing* now you can go where people are one now you can go where they get things done what you need my son: is a holiday in ontario where people all say "eh"! a holiday in ontario it's so nice you might stay
  • Eat the rich!
  • I have enjoyed the times I spent in Hamilton. It is a real and diverse small city, with fine lake views. I have enjoyed the opportunities to climb the hillsides. I hope all of the women haven't been taken by the time you get there.
  • Say, while we're exploring Ontario pride and Ontario bashers, any updates from the self-posting monkeys from the top of this thread? For instance, Kamus' CD, Meredithea's dissertation, and Jacob W's book. Besides that, I'm curious how The Stepsisters are faring and I would like to know more about SquidRanch's TV show and so on... Don't be shy monkeys, this is the thread to strut your monkey stuff.
  • Would Capt. Renault's new job be considered a Sign of the Apocalypse? Because that's the only way I can segue to my new website ARMAGEDDON OR NOT? quote: This experimental site is a cross between all those scary “the world is coming to an end” webpages and “Am I Hot or Not”, giving you, the anonymous websurfer, an opportunity to rate the doom-worthiness of various apocalyptic signs, portents and predictions. unquote. And please, vote on every item (even the ones you know are stupid), incuding the ones on the second page... One surprise to me about this thing is the ratio of pageviews to participation...
  • It's the snake with the hamster. Every time.
  • You crazy yanks can now buy my T-Shirts! Now delivering to 'Merka.
  • Sweet.
  • In response to the huge levels of spam on the wiki, I've created a website that can't be accessed by idiots! Here it is!
  • Hey Alex - you get that T? Every thing OK?
  • I kept clicking and clicking but I couldn't -- oh.
  • Top link, quidster.
  • Are you saying you're smartre than me??
  • Well he's better looking, that's fersure...
  • stupid big jerk stupidhead!!! /sob
  • *makes cow eyes and kissy kissy face in an attempt to make up*
  • *considers milking it for a free painting or t-shirt*
  • *thinks better of it and asks Wolof for beauty tips*
  • Duke, duke, duke Duke in black, black, black . . .
  • Kit - yep, I mentioned earlier in this thread I got it ok, I thought maybe you saw that. The decal's a little small, I'm thinking about cutting it out and using it to make a totally punk-rock jean jackest or maybe spruce up my messenger bag. I am most happy to be in possesion of it though. Thank again, dude.
  • /Squeeee!
  • Looks more like Panda bath house to me... (awesome pai'nin', Mr.Fisterelli)
  • I so want one of those shirts! They's awesome. I'm missing you monkeys greatly these days. On the plus side, I've gotten a promotion and I have my own staff (any tips on underling abuse?), but on the minus, I'm in the middle of a project that's taking up waaay too many hours a week. It's done June 16th, so save some cake for meeee....
  • Way to go boss lady Lara. Hire me and abuse me any way you want.
  • guh, kitfisto, that painting just reduced my brain to a pleasant mush. Tooooo muuuuch keewwtnesss!
  • Fanks! Imagine trying to paint it! I kept fainting from the squee.
  • PANDAPILE!
  • I can't believe I haven't posted this before, but next Tuesday is the first performance of a play in which I'm playing the titular lead, The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui by Bertholt Brecht. I'm getting the haircut Saturday, and the toothbrush moustache is attached with glue. The theatre is sold out for the entire run! It's a small theatre!
  • Achtung! Well done that thesp!
  • heh heh. "Titular". Err - congrats! Break kit's leg!
  • Ah, Brecht, excellent! Break a leg Muteboy!
  • Keep up the good work, Muteboy! Soon, you'll make Actors part of respectable society!
  • Instead of the workshy attention-seeking gayers they are today. Oh, wait, did I say that out loud? Ho ho, I keed. Break petey's neck!
  • Thanks all, I will hopefully break every bone in my body, and several other peoples. I've been bloooogging the rehearsals for the past few weeks, so you too can share in the frustration. As a friend once wrote, "Shall I compare thee to Olivier? Thou art more luvvie and intemperate"
  • very nice painting kit. *digs around in pockets for 90 pounds. hmmm, i'll have to get back to you.* and hooray for muteboy and lara. > any tips on underling abuse? despair, inc. is a good place to start. any recent achievements on my side? um, i got a paper rejected for a conference. bastards.
  • Disgressed is this week's featured blog in the London Informer. Yay! Heady stuff.
  • Pleggy! We salute you, o wise man of monkeydom!
  • Well done, Pleg! Wot's the London Informer? I keed, I keed...
  • Congrats, Plegmund - great writing, that.
  • Good show Pleggy!
  • I say, well done, Plegmund! Top drawer! *draws on pipe*
  • Pip-pip, old sock. What ho!
  • ♪ And so say all of us! ♫
  • Quite. Quite.
  • Achtung!
  • A well-deserved honour, Pleggers! And a spiffing cephalopodic grenadier, Kit!
  • Thank you, thank you! *blushes* Actually, Captain, I hadn't heard of the London Informer either until last week. It describes me as "One of London's livelier types" - that's going to give Mrs P a good, hearty laugh. And, er, nette Krake, mein Freund!
  • Freundian slip!
  • Excellent blog, Plegmund.
  • OK. This week, I'm compering a "Whose Line Is It Anyway"-style improvisation game show in a small theatre in South Wimbledon. I'm no good at improv, so I get to Compere. On Saturday, the Times (yes, the UK national newspaper) theatre critic listed it as his #1 show this week. OMFG - see proof here on my blog. It will be interesting to see what effect this has on audience numbers...
  • yay for plegmund and muteboy!
  • All the world's a stage...um...yadda yadda yadda... Well done old chap, cracking the boards and all that.
  • Thanks! The thing is, we don't know how this happened. The rest of the top five are professional shows at big theatres, with actors like Michael Gambon, whereas we are a pissant amateur crew with very low production values. Why would Benedict Nightingale recommend us? I think some favours are being called in...
  • I think he fancies you. *makes kissy kissy face*
  • He's totally after you dude. But well done!
  • I'm pleased to announce that the marriage of fimbulvetr went off without a hitch last Saturday. (Without a hitch? With a hitch? With no problems.) He and the non-monkey bride got married here, and had their swanky reception here. They're now off on their honeymoon -- a massive road trip through Newfoundland and Cape Breton. No photos yet.
  • I want honeymoon photos. CANDID honeymoon photos.
  • ...and this is a self-post how, exactly? Fair enough, here's a self-post ghost-written for MoFi's curieux: interactive Python tutorials. Get it while it's hot!
  • I don't know what Python is (I thought it was a snake), but well done to fimby, the dirty dog! Honeymoon, eh? EH???? *passes out*
  • Dammit Fishstick, you got me all excited! I was expecting a tutorial on how to prepare for the Spanish Inquisition!
  • Archaeopteryx! A smaller and hopefully more wall-friendly version of this blighter.
  • Heya, kitfisto: my pal Mike draws some pretty nifty dinosaurs, too. His Archaeopteryx looks like a clown, with the makeup and whatnot. His comic is pretty funny, too.
  • It's an evil prehistoric clown!
  • oh Kitfisto I LOVE the painting. I have long loved that fossil like no other (and have thought about it as a tattoo--simple black, on my lower back, to 'echo' the dragon at the top of my spine--sort of like a bizarre evolutionary chart) gorgeous!! paint more monster fossils. yeah!!
  • Way cool, Kitfistopteryx!
  • Aw shucks!
  • Self-post by marriage: DangerIsMyMiddleName is reporting from Afghanistan this week, blogging to The Guardian and posting pics here
  • Wow. Tell him to stay safe, mothy.
  • HOLY SHIT!!!! Hope he's being careful. Do you think he could smuggle me back an AK? Tell him to take more pics of armaments too, I need them for research....
  • Wow - ditto on the "hope he stays safe". Although I'm sure he will.
  • Good luck by proxy -- I hope everything goes well.
  • Holy cow! Danger really IS his middle name. And, wonderful pictures. My favorite was the soldier and the Afghani. We don't often see such simple, personal moments from these conflicts.
  • Fifths on the stay safe, Danger. Kit, if I weren't poor and sad, I'd totally fill the bare beige walls of my apartment with your lovely work.
  • Ah - thanks. I'll pop round this weekend and do you a murial.
  • Look, kit, murial called and, well, she doens't want you to say things about her anymore. Sixthes on the staying safe too heavy D
  • seventh vote for a safe return.
  • I've just had this painting accepted in the Sefton Open, a local art exhibition. I hardly ever exhibit, so this a good bit of news.
  • *lemur salute*
  • Thanks so much for your good wishes to DIMMN everybody *hugs MoFi*
  • I like the Lemur but what is he on patrol against?
  • Eighthed.
  • a ninth sympathy of hope for DIMMN's safety!
  • Ten.
  • I go to ELEVEN!11!!!!
  • 12th hope for DIMMN's safe return. Hey, I got a real job and moved. And bought a house. Does that count as a self-link? I'm now south of the Mason-Dixon line and it's friggin' HOT here. Oh well. At least I can get fresh seafood now...
  • Congrats, CLF! Do you need us to send a stars-and-bars licence plate frame?
  • I'm now south of the Mason-Dixon line No matter how good it sounds, DO NOT GROW A MULLET. And mucho congrats.
  • congrats on the move CLF, from what I understand its not exactly cool n breezy in NYC right now...or even London for that matter...
  • Where you be, frogsy? Looooooozyana? Bama? Jawja? Missipi?
  • Where the skies are so blue
  • Up yours Neil Young! gratz CLF!
  • Koko, Koko, Koko... And you in the 'Peg...
  • Well I hope Ko-ko will remembah . . .
  • Would anyone who has actually spent the $5 like to big me up in this blue thread? I could do with the cash! Thanks
  • Do we know you?
  • Ha haaa!!! Simple and classic. A nice and subtle shill too!
  • I'm available for parties. Tell your friends!
  • I don't have any friends. *cries*
  • Have you thought about submitting some of your stuff to a place like this? It might not make you rich, but it might make you some friends. Cuz, you don't, like, have any.
  • Thanks, I might do that. *blows nose*
  • Nevermind her, kit. I'm your friend. In fact, I'm going to make my own t-shirt that says "Old Tooter is a Friend of Mine." For sure.
  • You might not want to use the one I've just blown my nose on, I think it was your favourite.
  • Mine just says "Enter: A TURD" on it. simple. black. classic.
  • *sigh* I still have nothing of value to add myself. But in a bizarre coincidence, I stumbled upon a webpage about my great-aunt's needlework currently on exhibit! Oh, these funny internets.
  • That's some nice needlin', smt!
  • Ah. puddy tat!
  • Funny thing, I never knew she was such an avid needler. Yeah, I'm quite fond of the puddy tats myself. Wish there were more to see on the page!
  • I done painted a monkey! Well, a chimp, anyway.
  • Very nice, kit. I, however, had a celebrity sighting this past Saturday. Close enough for me to have sucker-punched was one Mister Samuel Leroy Jackson. I have therefore increased my coolness quotient by 30%. Earlier in the day, I could have sucker-punched Baron Munchausen, which would be impressive enough, had my Close Personal Friend Sam Jackson not shown up.
  • You should have punched him. That would have been teh funny.
  • Punch John Neville? But he's such a nice, old man... So well-groomed.
  • Ah, I'm happy to at last do a self-post. For any monkeys planning to be in and around the Washington, DC area September 14-21, this is a film festival I've been helping organize (it's the work of many folks of course). In the shameless promo department, two films I worked on got through the gauntlet of merciless judging and will be screened. "Quite Contrary" is a short I produced and will be in Screening 2 and "Multiverse"--which kicks off Screening 4, was one in which I did all sorts of little production odds and ends. Plus, you'll probably see me around that weekend, especially if you stick around after Screening 8, where I get to conduct the filmmaker Q&A.
  • I made a video for the band Lardpony (the video is a very lo-fi and a bit rubbish, but still...)
  • One of my previous self-posts has been published into a condensed version for the general public: Good Intentions Corrupted. Wooo, just found out I get a free copy
  • Yeah but now you'll be living the highlife of the gadabout author. Wine women and song all day and night. Congrats too!
  • Also, I got my very first children's story published (on a website, at least)
  • And it's jolly skool sossage for dinner again! And here's a big hand of ))), dng!!!
  • DNG! You stay away from my grandkids!!
  • Mmmm...black pudding.
  • Black pudding -- so tedious to make, so fun to eat. And thoroughly frustrating when ye only use your feet.
  • Chilling! What damaged part of my cerebellum identifies that as Hello Kitfitty?
  • Bravo!
  • Chilling! What damaged part of my cerebellum identifies that as Hello Kitfitty? It's the melon-shaped melon.
  • SQUEEE!
  • Nice one, kit. I'd be more enthused, but all my girlish delight is being expended on celebrating my Dylan tickets. Floor, row 16. Accoustic, baby. But your painting is very nice. Just not as nice as Dylan tickets.
  • I've got Floor, row 15, and I'm wearing my pirate hat with a big, tall feather and my date is 6'7". And is the flying nun.
  • Dammit! *tears up balcony seat tickets, cheap top hat*
  • Bob Dylan is not all that.
  • Did I say Bob Dylan? No. Dylan Thomas. More of his minimalist work.
  • Bring a nosegay!
  • Watch the hoosegow!
  • Hoosegay?
  • So I um had these three photographs included in the Brisbane edition of these travel guides (unfortunately they don't have Mac versions until January next year).
  • Very nice, gomi! I especially like the last one.
  • Good eye!
  • gosh thanks guys! (^_^)
  • SympathyFilter: Last night I didn't get cast as Dr Roberto Miranda in Ariel Dorfman's 'Death and the Maiden', and I'm a bit sad about it.
  • awwwwwww (;_;)
  • Although... do you at least get to be an understudy? I'm sure an "incident" can be arranged before opening night....
  • I can highly recommend kit's services on that score. I was particularly pleased with his 'Tonya Harding Special'. Competitive rates, too!
  • It's that most galling of situations. Only two of us auditioned, and the other guy is someone I respect, and is a good actor, and will be great. Damn him. It also means I don't get to add 'rapist' to my roster of unpleasant roles (Satan, De Sade, 'Hitler'...)
  • Wot? Didn't ye remember to wear a goatee, then?
  • It's that most galling of situations. Only two of us auditioned, and the other guy is someone I respect, and is a good actor, and will be great. Doncha hate that? And then if you DO get the part you enjoy it just one smidgen less.
  • *wild applause for gomi's pix* *wild condolences for muteboy's nix*
  • Well, if you want to audition for some other fun stuff, there's Stonehenge. Because I just can't seem to do enough film stuff.
  • Thanks for the sympathy, all. And Stonehenge ("where the demons dwell, where the banshees live, and they do live well...") does look cool. Actually, I think I shall rest... *sprawls on a daybed*
  • *offers bottle of laudanum to muteboy*
  • *produces box of bonbons*
  • i would be alone but first tell me how wonderful i am *faints*
  • Withnail: Balls. We want the finest wines availible to humanity. We want them here and we want them now. P: The police, Miss Blennerhassit. [ I breaks off from stuffing breadrolls but hasn't quite emptied his mouth at the start] I: Don't do that Miss Blenerhassit. I'm warning you Miss Blennerhassit, if you do - you're fired. We are multi-millionaries. we'll buy this place and fire you immediately.
  • And install a fucking jukebox! I went to the opening of the exhibition I'm included in last night. An hour's drive away. I did NOT win any prizes NOR did my piece sell. AND I didn't get the job I went for last week. I have of late, wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth.
  • *hugs*
  • *makes inappropriate kissy-kissy face*
  • Fuck our luck, eh kit. This is turning into FailureFilter.
  • Poets aren't appreciated in their own country, and all that, kit. Try writing poetry. *offers consolation mixed drink of Chocomel and Stella*
  • As Nick Drake sang*, "Fame is like a fruit tree, so very unsound, it can never flourish, 'til its stalk is in the ground" *shortly before suiciding
  • I went to Dragon*Con and all I wrote was this lousy column OK, so it's not Afghanistan, but there were quite a lot of storm troopers
  • That's a great article! Well done. I wish I could go to that. Although I must say, those troopers could do with some parade ground training - they're all over the place. No discipline these days. Well done you!
  • *Wakes up from envy-induced death long enough to congratulate PA on wonderful article*
  • Awww, thanks kitfisto and TUM! You are so kind to take the time to read my drivel. You guys rock.
  • We do. We rock. Like Yoda. Although you rock more.
  • And I'd just like to take to take this opportunity to say that no matter how much we all rock individually, MoFi rocks to the power x1000. I love you all! Thank you, and good night. Try the veal.
  • Talking of Storm Troopers, recently me and a few friends took the time to painstakingly catalogue every single change George Lucas has made to the original Star Wars
  • Caveman smoke Lucky Strike!
  • Ah. It's koko. She's dreamy.
  • I've been working at setting up and technically producing a network of blogs for a tech company called Wind River, wherein their smartfolk are blogging about things they are working on and interested in. We're launching today, with 15 blogs and probably more to come, but if you're technically inclined, into programming, embedded systems, dynamic software optimization, linux, telematics, and other geeky stuff, there may be several things of interest within. In any case, take a look at blogs.windriver.com to see a digest of all the individual blogs, and then you can explore the individual blogs that you find to be of interest. Hope you all enjoy!
  • Misfits This was by far my favourite game, when I was a little boy
  • (((( dng!
  • I have joined the grown-ups and now have my own website. There are still one or two dings to iron out (there's a CMS coming which should sort them out), but please feel free to big it up across the internets. I could do with the business!
  • Very nice site, Kit. Does all the right things. It will help your business.
  • It'll do.
  • Looks great. I particularly admire the bunnybot on the contact page.
  • Bunny Shroom is awesome! Nice site.
  • I have the bunnybot on a t-shirt! /gloat
  • *glower*
  • *gulp!*
  • *pulls up chair / opens beer*
  • Where's mine? *glower*
  • *offers brewski*
  • *gulp!*
  • *thinks of ways of "accidentally" tipping beer cooler for force-start a bunnybot wet t-shirt competition*
  • *tips beer cooler*
  • *points out that bunnybot t-shirt is black.* *and that there's a hello trooper t-shirt under it.* *and a sweatshirt under that.*
  • CURSES!
  • "My favourite way of getting shit* I go online, I hustle Kit - Lemur Patrol!" *meaning 'stuff' of course, and very very cool stuff at that.
  • Ha ha - I fucking love PWEI. I still listen to them all the time. I even named a painting in their honour.
  • I'd like to take this opportunity to share pictures of my beautiful baby girl, Abigail.
  • Oooh, baby squee! She has that "old wise woman" look!
  • When she was *really* small she looked like a turtle to me, so that makes perfect sense, TUM. :o)
  • minda25 - what a beauty, and it looks to me as though she's not going to let you get away with anything.
  • Thanks, path! She's already got us wrapped around her dainty little finger - she's very smart, and very cute. A deadly combination!
  • Abigail is a beautiful name, and I love those big eyes! Congratulations, minda.
  • Thanks, trac!
  • Look at the bootees !
  • very cute little monkey, Minda :)
  • While we're posting baby snaps, can I post one? Comedy GOLD.
  • Thanks, guys! Trac, you have some adorable, happy kiddos there. Congrats to you!
  • In both photos You can tell By looking at the kids faces That they are surrounded by love
  • ...and breath-sucking cats. Great kid photos!
  • Ah, in all the excitement of last week, I forgot to mention that I worked on yet another short film competition, this one rather topical given election season. The film is called "Machinations" and you can see it here.
  • I watched that BearGuy and didn't see your name in the credits anywhere! (~_^)
  • fantastic photos and beautiful kids, minda and tracicle!
  • Happy Birthday, St. Mandyman!!! xo!
  • Yes indeedy! Happy birchday, Mandyman!
  • mandyman shares my sister's birthday Habby birthday!
  • So at the urging of DangerIsMyMiddleName, I read and have begun practicing the principles of Getting Things Done, and lo and behold, I am actually Getting Things Done. Like, for instance, doing something I meant to do about four months ago: making a bittorrent of the movies we made for the Little Rock 48 Hr. Film Project. Currently I (and perhaps still TenaciousPettle, who done the first download) are seeding, so be patient, and please continue to seed for awhile after you've downloaded -- share the bandwidth wealth! (Files are .mpg, the whole download just over 337MB.)
  • So, anyway, you did this just to further frustrate me. My 'puter doesn't recognize bittorrent, and can't tell the internet what to download to be able to actually, you know, like, SEE your movies. Now what?
  • Mine either. *sob*
  • Wiki on Bit Torrent. Download BitTorrent program here.
  • Bittorrent says I have 5 hours of downloading to do. 17 KB. I must be sucking your whole life onto my computer.
  • Well, I got it all - very enjoyable, mct!
  • I will start downloading tonight, then will seed. But I would like to point out that Monkeyfilter (and by extention the whole of the internet) is my main obstacle to getting things done. I was reading a fascinating book on Cambridgshire landscape. Damn you for being more interesting than the Cambridgeshire Landscape!
  • I recommend Azureus for your bt client.
  • Oh, and download speeds will pick up as more people seed, so hang in there.
  • Monkeyfilter: more interesting than the Cambridgeshire Landscape! ...not so flat...
  • Thanks for the Bit Torrent link, tickie! Currently downloading at about 80 KB/sec. Boo-yah!
  • mct - it was worth the wait! Great fun.
  • mct, in a word, those movies are brilliant. I can't wait to see what Team Arkansas Times does for the next competition. Can I have your autograph?
  • Fan-damn-tastic!
  • Yay! Thank you!
  • I listened to Black Oak Arkansas last night in your honor, mct. Well, it wasn't so much in your honor as a coincidence. But it made me think of you and your team of talented filmmakers nonetheless.
  • Yup, it's a one-eyed toy leopard.
  • Sorry. I know it's boring, I'm just showing off really. Sorry.
  • I really like that
  • Let's make babies.
  • Hooray! At last
  • Also, while I'm here - I drew a comic. The interlude is probably the best bit
  • My offer on a house seems to have finally gone through (long story), and pending certain conditions being satisfied, I'll soon be of the landed gentry in downtown Hamilton, Ontario. The main advantages are that a) I'll be able to walk to work, b) have more space to store my ever-increasing shit, and c) trade Boresville for the bright lights and dark clouds of Steeltown.
  • Dibs on the couch! Hey Louis, you got any more of that nutella stuff? *crunch* *munch*
  • I think housewarming party/meetup is in order.
  • Got a new CD for anyone who is interested: CD Baby Page iTunes Link A review (a bit over the top- I swear this guy doesn't owe me money): JazzReview.com Thanks for your interest.
  • Oooh, a Monkey House! Congrats on the digs, Caperoo.
  • I just got to the leopard link. Me likey! And yeah, when can we show up at your house? Is tomorrow convenient? I'll bring some cheeze kurls.
  • I meant the Cap's house, obv. Although we could also show up at kit's place. Maybe I'll start a couch-crashing monkey global tour.
  • One of my couches turns into a bed, so that probably makes the Capt's place look pretty shabby already. Sorry dude. Bring pie.
  • Congratulations Capt! Nice album, kamus.
  • Is tomorrow convenient? Umm, closes the first of March, so anytime before then, you're likely to have a very confused Hydro worker. Passed inspection this morning, so that's one less worry. Only condition remaining really is the new survey...
  • Thanks roryk- you were always my favorite!
  • No fair! I tried to listen to it but I locked up my computer in the process. :|
  • Well if you ever get it working I still have a "favorite-emeritus" spot open for you-assuming you play along nicely.
  • Wot does one play .m3u with?
  • those are supposed to be mp3 files. I have no trouble. Perhaps if you download them and change the extension, it might help. They work for me no problem. In any case, CD baby did the file prep so I don't know what would be the problem.
  • when I said I have no problem, of course, i was referring to the files and not trying to paint myself as free of personal problems. /unnecessarily paranoid
  • I've got my eye on you, you psycho.
  • are you talking to me?
  • > Wot does one play .m3u with? m3u is an mp3 "list file"; it represents the sequence of the different mp3 files in the album. You can open it with WinAmp or iTunes or Windows Media Player.
  • fish tick pet!
  • That's some tasty jazz there, kamus!
  • Ooh - verra nice, kamus! Sorry about your personal problems. fish tick pet! Positron emission tomography? It wasn't working with my Windows Media Playa; seems okay now, though.
  • OK, OK- you're all my favorites!!
  • I made an advent calendar
  • Also, made a simple computer game
  • dng, that calendar is just what I need to get through this week!
  • Due to some work that I have done, I have actually been listed at imdb.
  • An extremely excellent advent calendar, dng. I looked at the whole thing and ruined Christmas. Sorry everyone!
  • > I made an advent calendar I find this calendar both enticing and somewhat disturbing. I folded the flaps down on 21-24 after Koko left.
  • I have constructed my own lightsaber, my training is now complete... (Sith chick sold separately...)
  • Nice Does it make the noise? It better make the noise
  • Totally makes the noise.
  • I am now officially jealous Also: jealous of your top hat, which appears to stretch upwards forever
  • Where can I buy that advent calendar?
  • It's already on your wall. Go look.
  • I'll give you 11 galactic credits for the Sith Chick. Final offer. (Pretty freakin cool lightsaber dude!)
  • Yikes! IT IS!!!
  • Niuuuuuuzjh! Niuuuuuuuzjh! GHSKH! GHSKH! Waaaaaaahrmmmmmmmmf...
  • > I have constructed my own lightsaber, That's wicked. Will you tell us how? *leaves muteboy's message open to see if it fills up with snow*
  • it won't because the javascript wot i wrote (honest!) has a certain parameter set to '64'. but leave it open anyway - it also transmits yuletide lurve and the smell of chestnuts on an open fire.
  • How did you get three identical dogs? (Awesome pics!)
  • Shuggie's been at the Bailey's in that bottom pic. I loves him!
  • Such a glossy coat! I can't tell the tinsel from the Shug!
  • If British weather were IRC and a scritch behind the ears to the lovely doggie!
  • LOLz0r!
  • OMG! :DDDD
  • Beautiful
  • Thanks guys! You r0xx0r!
  • A friend of mine scanned in the excellent Usborne guide to UFOs, from the late 70s It is excellent
  • Oh, that IS excellent! I had an Usborne time-travel book about life in a medieval castle when I was a kid-- wish I could see it again. Your friend doesn't happen to have a copy, does he/she? Also, yay PA, for finally posting that weather chat. You all may not know this, but our dear Pallas is a brilliant writer-- I'm not tech savvy enough to link to her online columns at blueyonder, but here is her blog, written in the voice of Shakespeare. As you can see, she NEVER (#*&$W^ing UPDATES! Maybe if we all pile on, she will. Neener neener! Got you back for posting my zords! :)
  • It's not my news to give, but I'm going to tell it anyway... Monkey fimbulvetr and Mrs. fimbulvetr are the proud parents of baby Felix! Due to some complications, he showed up a bit early (31 weeks), so he'll be in the incubator for a while. Nevertheless, baby and mother are doing fine, and fimbulvetr could use your congratulations and a drink. To baby Felix!
  • *passes out virtual ceegars* Kongratz!
  • CROTCHFRUIT!!!! Well done!!
  • Speaking of, I'm ripening one myself. :O)
  • Huzzah for all pending and delivered new baby monkeys! Congrats!
  • Congrats to the Mr and Mrs fimbulvetr! And to you also, hbswamp! Are those Kubans by chance, TUM?
  • Yay monkey F Mrs. monkey F!! And congrats to Swampie!
  • *turns on the hose*
  • Congratulations, parents and parents-to-be. You know incubators are just toaster ovens for babies, right? Good luck with NICU, Mr and Mrs fimbulvetr -- and I hope all goes well.
  • Congratulations fimbulvetr, mrs fimbulvetr, and hillbillyswamp. And welcome Felix!
  • EXTRA, EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT! Beverly Hills Geologist Puts an End to Monkey Breeding!
  • The two in the corner appear to be stuck. Someone get a crow-bar in here!
  • I've been messing about trying to make a cartoon. Its not very easy when you can't draw at all...
  • (oh, there's a better quality version here - which is even in the right aspect ration and not stretched all over the place - but it takes forever to load)
  • well done, dingy!
  • excellent stuff! reminds me of this sequence from Unicorn Jelly
  • dng, that's like Hertzfeldt meets the National Film Board of Canada... so many good feelings... nice work!
  • A panda cub coming soon to a speedlime near you... Apols for the crap pic - my daylight hours are spent in work.
  • Nice!
  • Nice one, kit.
  • I saw a panda in Guangzhou Zoo. It was all pretty depressing, really. Like zoos in the West (approximate term) 40 years ago. Concrete, grey, stank of piss, bored animals to death, etc.
  • Um...you can now buy prints of some of my works over at Deviant Art. Just in case, um, well, y'know, you're stuck for something to spend your money on... Only the small sizes tho (9 x 12" or summat...)
  • Lookit you, Mister I-Need-To-Show-Up-The-Folks-In-The-Gallery... Well done!
  • hooray!
  • WANT.
  • So I have a music project, with an album coming out this week, and tonight is the first ever live performance. You know all you LA monkeys want to be there to see yours truly embarrass himself in front of a crowd of people. At Club London (Boardners) 1652 N. Cherokee Ave, Hollywood, CA 90028. Doors open at 10, we go on at around 11.
  • How'dit go? How'dit go??
  • Surprisingly well, considering the short time frame and the last minute lineup change. I'm told that there will be a youtube link within the week...
  • Did nunia jump on stage and yell insults to the crowd? *waits for the youtube goodness*
  • Why is it that I was wondering the same thing?
  • I wasn't there, guys. I don't party late on Sunday nights. However, I can shout insults to you here, if it will help you sleep better tonight.
  • So it was a party then, was it? *sigh* Well, I don't party late on Sundays nights either. Make that every night for that matter. Go ahead, you may belittle me now...
  • *pats smt on the head*
  • well that's some nice belittlin' there nunia. Mm-hmm. Yup. *continues rocking, chewing on wheat stalk*
  • She's being easy on me today, due to valentines 'n all... *takes a dip of snuff*
  • If I told you about all of the parties I've turned down in the last year, you would cry for me, Argentina. *slips smt special "Valentines Day" chaw*
  • Aww shucks. *shuffles feet, chews on chaw*
  • Ceci n'est pas un tigre.
  • Not really something I've done (I have re-touched the pic a bit), but here's a totally ace pic of my nan. Sorry, just got it today and didn't know where else to post it.
  • I like the tiger! He/she has a disconcerting stare.
  • Gorgeous hair she had, yer Nan.
  • What a stunning pic!
  • Kit, you owe me and my countrymen beers. With interest. Also in beer.
  • Claimed she took drinks off US and Canadian troops stationed in Liverpool during the war then ran off before more was 'expected'. Yay Gran! Get while the getting's good. A lovely portrait! She has quite a look of determination, like the sort who would let soldiers buy her beer, then run off.
  • Got my first negative review for my last CD in a high profile music mag. It sucks but I supppose that I've been pretty lucky in never getting a bad review before now and that's over a period of 30 years. Still, I'm having to work at the "taking it philosophically" a bit. Time to push another pin into my Andrew Lloyd Webber doll.
  • One bad review in 30 years? Egads man! That's fantabulous. I've lost count of the number of times people have passed unkind judgement on my work. Thus the kitfisto family motto: 'Fuck 'em all!' Don't let the bastards grind you down. You know you're good, so they are cloth-eared tits.
  • kitfisto, for the last time I simply cannot hear what you are saying with all this cloth in my ears. Also the top of my head is expressing a white fluid, rich in proteins and other nutrients.
  • You'll have to fend off the babes with a stick, quid!
  • er, Quiddy... you don't happen to have an identical twin by any chance? thanks, kit
  • You speak of none other than my arch-nemesis, kamus - a foul and sinister fellow, reeking of sulphur, continuously babbling his idiotic word-drool from the corner of his mouth, his dirt-stained hands nervously clutching at his noxious robes as he contemplates naught but crime. This is the monster we call "the quincunx kid", and may God curse his eyeballs.
  • Ah- my brother, we meet again. *rips off kamus mask* So, you saw through my disguise and even though I chose the form of this pathetic mortal, whose ability to blend into the woodwork was only surpassed by his bland inneffectuality at cocktail parties, you somehow penetrated the plurality of my deception. Perhaps I've underestimated you, my friend but I was sure I had finished you off in the caverns beneath Zoth back during the robot revolt wars on Arcturus VI but like the bad penny of ancient lore puked from the foetid yaw of the mythical Philadelphia mint, you have returned to dog my every step, undoubtedly seeking revenge for that hacked pleasure android I let you borrow on Rigel IV. Some people just can't take a joke. Well sir, the gauntlet has been thrown. THIS MEANS WAR!
  • *pulls up deckchair / opens sammiches*
  • So - the cosmic ballet continues. Yet I dare say that you will not triumph on this occasion, "kamus" - my word, no. No doubt your plans for pure villainy involve the construction of a large anti-proton beam, with which you'll attempt to hold the very solar system at ransom, eh? Again with the anti-proton beams! Honestly you evil space villains are always throwing together some kinda wacky fucking beam-ray - don't you ever get tired of that shit? What do you do, all get together at villain conventions and compare beam sizes? "Oooh oooh look at Forbulax’s beam, he's got a big green one!" - "Oh Zonthar, my beam is shooting all over your face oooh it feels so good!" - Honestly, you guys need to get some new shtick. Go BEAM yourself, spaceballs.
  • *turns off Mork and Mindy on channel 57, kicks back a cool Coors 16-ouncer*
  • *offers the capt a sammich in exchange for a beer*
  • *points out that Coors isn't exactly beer, but makes trade anyway*
  • I've always heard that Coors was "Rocky Mountain lizard piss." Is this true?
  • More accurately, the distilled semen of diabetic horses. Fermented with despair.
  • *offers the capt a sammich in exchange for a beer* Surely you mean "offers the capt butty".
  • I got 5 bucks on the guy with the anti-proton beam.
  • Well I'm putting $10 on the guy with the anti-anti-proton beam. The pretty purple one.
  • Ha!- I care not for puny anti-proton rays (not to mention anti-anti-proton and pro-proton rays) whick are strictly for planetary retards and galactic losers. With the aid of my trusty sidekick, the Space Chimp (she likes to be called "Tracy" so cower in fear, you cosmic cretin) I have developed the Anal Destroying Ray which proved so effective against the Heemo-Royds of Fenland III. Even now I am zeroing in on your colon and once I achieve target-lock your ass will be a thing of the past. We'll see if you're still Mum's favorite then! Bwah-hah -HAH-HAH-HAH-HAR! (cough-cough, sputter...)
  • If memory serves, Anal Destroying Ray was a gay porn star of the 80's.
  • (other actors felt uncomfortable working with him)
  • (...as he was a real pain in the butt...)
  • MONKEY FIGHT! MONKEY FIGHT!!!
  • MonkeyFilter: I've accomplished nothing of worth in my lifetime. MonkeyFilter: I taught myself to tie my own shoes when I was a kid. MonkeyFilter: I've seen happiness, here and there, during the course of my life. MonkeyFilter: ...all about comfy clothes. And punching people! MonkeyFilter: I did poo poo in the big boy's toilet. All by myself. MonkeyFilter: I need someone to zip up my zipper. MonkeyFilter: Just keep the bass lines to yourself MonkeyFilter: will there be owl semen on the menu? MonkeyFilter: How much do owls cost in Manitoba? MonkeyFilter: Well, just think of how great you could have been if you had used owl semen. MonkeyFilter: PANDAPILE(S)! MonkeyFilter: Any tips on underling abuse? MonkeyFilter: Don't worry, the lemurs got our backs... MonkeyFilter: *lemur salute* MonkeyFilter: "Old Tooter is a Friend of Mine." MonkeyFilter: And it's jolly skool sossage for dinner again! MonkeyFilter: Bring a nosegay! MonkeyFilter: Didn't ye remember to wear a goatee, then? MonkeyFilter: But first, tell me how wonderful I am. MonkeyFilter: Install a fucking jukebox. MonkeyFilter: You are so kind to take the time to read my drivel. MonkeyFilter: MoFi rocks to the power x1000. (YEAH!) MonkeyFilter: Sorry. I know it's boring, I'm just showing off really. Sorry. MonkeyFilter: I can shout insults to you here, if it will help you sleep better tonight. MonkeyFilter: Honestly, you guys need to get some new shtick. MonkeyFilter: Go BEAM yourself, spaceballs. MonkeyFilter: You evil space villains are always throwing together some kinda wacky fucking beam-ray Well, I AM the Tagline QUEEN!! MonkeyFilter: God what has my life deteriorated to...
  • MonkeyFilter: I've accomplished nothing of worth in my lifetime. MonkeyFilter: I taught myself to tie my own shoes when I was a kid. MonkeyFilter: I've seen happiness, here and there, during the course of my life. MonkeyFilter: ...all about comfy clothes. And punching people! MonkeyFilter: I did poo poo in the big boy's toilet. All by myself. MonkeyFilter: I need someone to zip up my zipper. MonkeyFilter: Just keep the bass lines to yourself MonkeyFilter: will there be owl semen on the menu? MonkeyFilter: How much do owls cost in Manitoba? MonkeyFilter: Well, just think of how great you could have been if you had used owl semen. MonkeyFilter: PANDAPILE(S)! MonkeyFilter: Any tips on underling abuse? MonkeyFilter: Don't worry, the lemurs got our backs... MonkeyFilter: *lemur salute* MonkeyFilter: "Old Tooter is a Friend of Mine." MonkeyFilter: And it's jolly skool sossage for dinner again! MonkeyFilter: Bring a nosegay! MonkeyFilter: Didn't ye remember to wear a goatee, then? MonkeyFilter: But first, tell me how wonderful I am. MonkeyFilter: Install a fucking jukebox. MonkeyFilter: You are so kind to take the time to read my drivel. MonkeyFilter: MoFi rocks to the power x1000. (YEAH!) MonkeyFilter: Sorry. I know it's boring, I'm just showing off really. Sorry. MonkeyFilter: I can shout insults to you here, if it will help you sleep better tonight. MonkeyFilter: Honestly, you guys need to get some new shtick. MonkeyFilter: Go BEAM yourself, spaceballs. MonkeyFilter: You evil space villains are always throwing together some kinda wacky fucking beam-ray Well, I AM the Tagline QUEEN!! MonkeyFilter: God what has my life deteriorated to...
  • And I'm an IDIOT! ARRRRGGGGH!!!!
  • Why does my anus suddenly feel so strange?
  • MonkeyFilter: Well, I AM the Tagline QUEEN!! And I'm an IDIOT!
  • Please don't feed the bluehorses, quid.
  • Why does my anus suddenly feel so strange? *chuckles with evil satisfaction*
  • MonkeyFilter: Why does my anus suddenly feel so strange?
  • Damn you Koko! *chucks brilliant tagline idea*
  • MonkeyFilter:*chucks brilliant tagline idea*
  • Feels fine to me, big boy.
  • Hey you two, get a thread.
  • I guess I deserved that.
  • Heheh. Well that's some nice offspringin' there MCT. Best to the cocky li'l nipper and the obviously tolerant and patient MsMCT.
  • Heh. You've brought back some good memories for me, mct! Ah, I recall the ultrasound/s for my son, and was also told that he was "HUNG!" Congrats! Just wait until he looks you in the eye...
  • SQUEE for the li'l Toolkin! He kinda looks like Alfred Hitchcock. The nurse running the ultrasound's jaw dropped. "Holy shit, that kid is HUNG," she gasped. "When he grows up, he'll get more ass than a toilet seat." Ah, Florence Nightingale would be proud.
  • Welcome, Jack (I still like 'Jetus', but there you go)!!!
  • Not only is he hung, but it glows. Your son's johnson will be the light of the world. Congratulations, dad.
  • Well done, MCT. Teach him to share his gift with the world.
  • littleclasstool
  • Jack! Yay!
  • rocket88 ftw
  • Woo!
  • ah.
  • He's already gorgeous! And you're making me tear up at work. Damn you!
  • hi
  • hi
  • Awwwwwwwwww - cute li'l thang.
  • I just got mail from the Law Society addressed to me as a Q.C. I had no idea -- hell, I thought they stopped making them here in 1985. Huh.
  • Questionable Character?
  • Queen-size Comforter.
  • Quid Corpse?
  • Queen's Counsel, innit? Leastways, that's what I remember from the program notes of "The Sorcerer."
  • Panty-pooper!
  • Wouldn't you like to take silk, Captain?
  • Absolutely. Much better than the crappola polyester gowns we have going now. And a finer cut and design as well. Not that I'm ever in Court... but they do look nice hanging in the office, ready for action.
  • Info on Canadian legal attire to be found here and here. I didn't use either of those highway bandits guys -- I went with somebody else. *ponders the practical joke possibilities of a clergyman's outfit*
  • Quahog Cracker!
  • Queer Connotations?
  • Look, it stands for Quintessentially Cute, as any fule kno. Let this be the end of the matter!
  • A project to whom I made a very small contribution nine months ago has been delivered. Second and a third picture. Unfaltering love, admiration, and respect to mrs roryk who did the hard work. This delivery went much more smoothly than her first, thankfully. Junior Junior is 3.9 kilos and 51.5 centimetres. Ballads have already been composed about his genitals.
  • Weee! Congrats roryk! Well done to all concerned!
  • Congratulations roryk, mrsk and specialk!
  • Splendidulous! (Though I had to turn up the brightness on your pictures before I could appreciate the splendidulousness in full.)
  • Oooh, fine little feller there!
  • Woo!
  • Wheee! Congrats! *wonders where we are gonna fit the monkey day care centre*
  • Well done, familyk! Congratumulations!
  • We can always clean out a corner of the bear pit.
  • Oh, the squee. Congratulations! Now go wait on mrsk hand and foot for the next 18 years. :)
  • Congratsk!
  • All the best to you and your family, roryk! Congrats! Looks as if the project was a smashing success.
  • Yay, k! Not to worry, it'll be much more fun in a few weeks when its eyes open.
  • Don't you monkeys know there's a population crisis? And a cute overload. Show some restraint.
  • Woo! More babies! We can all be the evil aunts and uncles that buy all the toys with loud noises and flashing seizure-inducing lights. Congratulations.
  • Congrats, mct & roryk!
  • Oh, and I'm SO in with the MoFiDayCare!
  • My house deal closed yesterday, so I am now of the landed gentry. Or Hamilton's version of the landed gentry, anyway. A quick closing (10:45), and no big surprises upon entry to the house. Only bit of garbage was one (1) open box of pork shop Shake 'n' Bake. They were nice enough to leave me a broom for the porch, a snowshovel, and a bag of salt. All three items had to be put to immediate use if I was to get in the driveway. Shovelling last night, shovelling this morning -- all I've done at the new place is shovel. Two nice surprises -- they also left me one (1) push mower for that one-metre strip of lawn, and the house came with a garbage disposal. Never had a garbage disposal in my life. I have to figure out how to make it part of my dishwashing routine. Meetup details forthcoming. Let me get furniture in there, first. I'd think at least a loveseat is in order to make out with Larababy. (For starters, anyway -- we can move to the floor later.)
  • Enjoy it. You've got years of stuff breaking and needing paint ahead of you. Congratulations!
  • Congratulations Capt! You should call the house "Dun Rentan". And thank you everyone for the kind wishes. Four months on, I'm still removing detritus left in the cellar by the former owners of our house.
  • Yay Capt! Start the garburetor off with bones, then move up to cutlery. Don't forget to keep it lubricated with lots o' bacon grease.
  • Our littlest doggie got featured on The Daily Puppy! *is very proud* And big hurrahs for the k family and the tool family! And congrats Capt!
  • I hate to stumble in on everyone's communal jerk-off time, but do you people realise that Capt. Renault is actually a ghost? He's now achieved his ghoulish mission of haunting the previous residents out of their house - and you're all giving casper the high five. Try to spare a though for the LIVING, you zombies.
  • Don't get it wet, or feed it after midnight, mothy! I keed, I keed. Is cute!
  • Those EARS. I want to eat them. Just a nibble? Please?...
  • Yeah, "Boo!" to you too. You ectoplasmic phastasms of the departed are always giving me lip. If only there were some kind of ghost removal service one could contact via a telephonic hotline - a company skilled at the removal of unnatural phenomena, staffed by a charismatic parapsychologist, his corpulent colleague, a nerd and a guy called Winston.
  • Perhaps I should establish just such a service. Our catchy advertorial would proceed thus: "Whom do you desire to telephone? Phantasm-Eradicators!"
  • This is the greatest doggie photo ever, mothninja! Looks like he's singing an aria (apparently in the middle of an L word).
  • I gave Edwin 11 biscuits!
  • Elevendyhundred biscuits for Edwin!
  • I wonder if you could arrest these spectres. Or "bust" them, in American police slang. I understand that this kind of "busting" makes you feel good.
  • Ya-ya-yaknowit! Edwin the Squeephorator!
  • Some people find these spectres rather alarming. I, however, do not.
  • A cautionary note: be aware that intersection of the opposing weapons' directional fire would be a no-no.
  • Congratulations on your house. Be aware that ectoplasmic residue can stain carpets if not removed quickly
  • Maintain your distance, sir, for I am a natural philosopher and a student of Physick.
  • I may have married a pirate....
  • I waited how long for this to load and find - what? The Captain is cohabiting with plasma? Congratulations and check your roof.
  • 8 a.m., 32 degrees F, and MCT, that crazy bastard, is on his way.
  • Yeah let's hope his old ankles don't give out!
  • Why isn't he using the new ones?
  • They're still really white and shiny, and he didn't want the other kids making fun of him.
  • Oh my god, I just realised who you're married to. *hides in shame* I'm hiding in shame because it took me so long to click. Obviously.
  • You think that's bad? I didn't realize she'd registered until about her third comment. And I knew the reference from her nickname.
  • Are you posting from a wheelchair, T? How'd it go?
  • Went very well. Didn't adequately stretch my right hip after, so I'm paying for that now (thanks, bourbon!), but the rest of me's doing very well. Managed to maintain ten minute miles all throughout, which I hadn't dared to hope for, given recent ankle problems. I even managed to finish without being lapped by the Polish gentleman who won the marathon. I'm really not one to toot my own goddamn horn (I wasn't going to post about this here, which is why I suspect hillbillyswamp did it for me), but I sat on my ass and smoked for nearly half my life, much of that stoned and/or drunk, and had a collapsed lung, and I managed to pull this off. I really still can't believe my body was capable of it. Though I left pretty much everything I had on the streets of downtown LR. Happily, I might add.
  • You may wish to vote for this painting of mine in a showdown-type thing the Saatchi Gallery are running. If we harnessed the power of Mofi, I might be in with a shout. Thanks!
  • Apparently, that site is utter rubbish and the above link won't work. If you feel the urge to vote I think you have to cut and paste this: http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/showdown/index.php?showpic=62 Mind you, it's such a palarver even I'm not sure I'll bother...
  • Done.
  • And done.
  • Ah. I'm filling up. Ta!
  • O
  • Oy! I gave it a 10; why is the overall rating only 8? Quicknun must've rated it a 2.
  • Done. Hi mrs. tool!
  • Dunzo.
  • Great work on the run, mct. I will (soon) make time to read your blog for details.
  • i done gone give it a ten
  • Done. What do I get?
  • The overalls got a rating of 8 because one of the buckes was broken.
  • I will (soon) make time to read your blog for details Oooo, get him. 24 hours in a day isn't good enough for the likes of our quidnunc. 26, 30, 45, 100 hours? When does it stop? And he's not spending it all on blog-reading, I can assure you. O no. Nuh-uh. Nnnn. You've got a problem, quidnunc, and making more time to cover up for it won't make it go away! It's just going to fuck up all the television programming, and I am NOT GOING TO MISS ONE EPISODE OF "LOST" BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!
  • I clicked the stars!
  • 10 from me too, kit. I would say something about how ... well, something, but art generally just confuses me. Hi, tracicle and koko!
  • I find fitkisto's "art" (if you care to call it such) racist, sexist, phallocentrist, militarist-imperialist, and culturally insensitive to proud Lemur-Americans such as myself. As such, I only gave it a 9 1/2. I did, however, take the time to pimp everything else with a 3 except for this one drippy olive abstract thing that I really grooved on and gave a 7.
  • I clicked 10 stars, but feel nothing yet. Maybe it takes a while to kick in.
  • And gomi, you need to dress your man-thing in a saucy red bandana. You could finally put to rest the tiresome old pirate versus ninja controversy. Be a uniter, not a divider.
  • *grudgingly strikes hillbillyswamp's name off "totally hot monkey babes who want me" list, adds Koko, quidnunc back*
  • You've got a problem, quidnunc, and making more time to cover up for it won't make it go away Well well! How non-relativistic this "Koko" person is! How lacking in quantum chronodynamical computational abilities! What a vacuum of basic sidereal-temporal engineering skills she represents! And yet - despite this abject paucity of talents - she is still allowed to roam the Earth freely, astride her chariot of stupidness, shooting arrows of idiocy from her longbow of moronism into the eyeballs of gentlepersons everywhere. Will no-one crack open her thick, bony skull and fill up the abyss of her head with the sweet, viscous fluid of education? Making time - from the freshest ingredients, mind - will not delay the television stories that poor Koko so desperately craves as a soporific balm for her troubled, disintegrating mind. All one has to do is travel to the North Pole, where all time-zones converge to a point. Then one can quite easily step back in time up to a maximum of twenty-four hours! Of course, you may all wish to hail me as your new God for giving you the gift of this awesome knowledge. Please do not feel ashamed - my apotheosis is desired by many, if not most, of the lowly unfortunates of your pitiful kind. If you wish to erect your statues and temples to me, go ahead. I will not stop you. When the sacrificial goat is slain upon my altar, the pleasure it will give you to bathe your bodies in its freshly eviscerated blood is thanks enough for me.
  • > a showdown-type thing the Saatchi Gallery are running Should be "artornot.com" You're now at 8.11
  • How non-relativ-blah blah O ho ho ho ho Mr. Big Words! I'll have you know I am AT the North Pole, and that walking backwards only results in sprained ankles and sore bottoms, not to mention the pointing and the laughing, although that MAY have been present prior to my experiment. I shall have to try again after Judge Judy. And I will thank you not to use the words "erect" and "goat" in the same comment. There are pregnant women reading this thread.
  • O ... d Tracicle, please remove my name from this webgroup. It's obvious that you do not support free speech. You have not removed Koko's anti-speech from this site, and these anti-words are combining with real words - words lovingly coated with meaning, words lightly dusted with poetry, words with a soft, chewy centre of truth - and annihilating them in a release of pure letter-particles.                          s   o                          |   | Justify your cen *pow!                          |   |                          h   r shit, there goes another one!
  • Oh my god, I just realised who you're married to. That skinny Japanese boy I take all those pics of? (^_^) you need to dress your man-thing in a saucy red bandana Hmm if I can get him to sit still for 5 seconds I may just manage that.....
  • Funnily enough, I often dress my man thing in a saucy oh ok I'll get me coat.
  • Oh dear quiddy.....
  • You dress it in a funnel?
  • I believe he has named it "le petit sauciér" for reasons that I prefer not to ponder.
  • Actually (and quite honestly, for a change) for reasons I do not wish to recall my penis is called "Esme", full name "Esme Watson". If there are any women out there who have named their genitals "Vernon 'Cookie' Locke" then ... actually, you know what? Forget it.
  • mct: for your next marathon Get mrs. tool to ride alongside playing Vangelis on the boombox, and you're all set!
  • Please be sure to wear some sort of running trousers, as they aren't included in the set
  • Oh, way to take all the fun out of it, Koko.
  • Take all the fun out of it? You will note, dear hillbillyswamp, the absence of shorts. Chaffalarity ensues!
  • Or what Koko already -- oh, never mind.
  • Evidently you were peeking through my bedroom window after I had my shower and was strategically applying lotion. There was one poor bastard who didn't know to protect his nipples. Looked like he'd been shot.
  • Chafing boy-bits and adjoining parts be bad. One stick of Bodyglide has saved me from a world of hurt. Or you can just use lard.
  • MonkeyFilter: Or you can just use lard.
  • Who needs running trousers when a saucy red bandanna will do? Get a ManDanna™, the Man-bandanna for your Man-banana. Accessorize with a healthy slathering of Lad-Lard™. Esme Watson sold separately.
  • My Flickr pages just passed 100,000 pageviews today. Maybe nothing to some, but a milestone to me all the same! *sniff*
  • mct: for your next marathon
    Here's one for the synchronicity collectors - Chariots of Fire was on Film 4 last night at approximately the same time as Koko wrote that comment. *eerie music* And well done mct!
  • I played piano on five of this album's tracks (and recorder, of all things, on one track). Not playing live with the group as I'm no longer based in South Florida, but it's fantastic to see the attention the album is getting.
  • That's some pretty hialutin' ivory-ticklin' there! I think "Let go" is my favorite. And I'll be sure to tell my recorder group that there's a bright future for all of them in the pop music world!
  • Warning: this post is filled with nerd type things Some scanned books: The Usborne book fo the future The Doctor Who Technical Manual Other vaguely futurey scanned things
  • Also, while I'm here, I didn't make this, but it makes me laugh and laugh
  • dang you dng.
  • hehehe.
  • Does it make you jealous that #2 owns a copy of the Doctor Who Technical Manual? His parents gave it to him when he was but a wee #2.
  • Does it make you jealous that #2 owns a copy of the Doctor Who Technical Manual? His parents gave it to him when he was but a wee #2.
  • I hereby return to this thread--which begun with an invocation of me--and claim it for myself. It's all mine, I tell you. Mine! And I have another book coming out: The Government Manual for New PIrates. Studies show that 9 out of 10 potential buccaneers are held back only by the lack of a really good entry-level guide for new pirates. (The tenth is held back by his love of the Governor's virtuous daughter.) While we can't do anything for that unfortunate tenth, the other nine are in luck. Sometime in the next few weeks, THE GOVERNMENT MANUAL FOR NEW PIRATES will arrive in a bookshop (or on a bookship) near you. THE GOVERNMENT MANUAL FOR NEW PIRATES is a handy and reference manual that will aid you in selecting an eyepatch, training your parrot, and--perhaps most importantly--cursing with sufficient panache. I now return you to your regularly scheduled thread, already in progress. Arrr!
  • But my life, my love and my la-hee-dee . . is the sea . . .
  • Did Monkeybashi hiccup?
  • Yaaar.
  • Look, the woman put out one of her own children's eyes. Yet this is your choice of site administrator. Shame, Monkeyfilter. Shame.
  • Oh, I must have hiccupped! How unladylike.
  • *accidentally stabs quiddy in the eye*
  • I don't need two unstabbed eyeballs to see what's wrong with this site, tracicle. You can stab me - but others will come in my place: more and more will stand against your stabbings, until their joyful cries of freedom drown out your murderous stabs and Monkeyfilter again becomes a stab free website. So stab on, tracicle. Stab for all you're worth. Stab while you have time and strength to stab - soon you will stab no more and your stabocracy will fall as if - ironically enough - it was STABBED.
  • stop saying stab
  • Why? It only has only scalorie.
  • Malkovich!
  • stabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstabstab
  • Repeatin' the word 'stab' -- that's a paddlin'.
  • "abst"? What the fuck does "abst" mean? You people are IDIOTS. If I were in charge of this site, you'd be thoroughly STABBED.
  • Well someone sure ate their Stabby-O's this morning.
  • Run, you fools. Run! It's not merely her children who are in danger! I was once sighted, just like you. Now look at me!
  • *waves sword* Also, congrats on the new book by the way, jacobw. I may know a certain someone who could do with a copy.
  • Bit hard to read a book when you don't have any eyes left, "stabcicle".
  • braille, quid, better start learning it.
  • The entire preceding makes much more sense if you replace "stab" with "bats".
  • 'Abst is the second person singular version of "to have" in Cockney German.
  • Well, I recently had the pleasure of working on this series, which features new episodes weekly. I worked on the episodes in the gym...and hopefully will do more before long. Also, I'm continuing my reputation as the Stonehenge guy. Hey JacobW, kudos! When the boxed set come out?
  • Thanks, all! Tracicle, just so you know, the book might be a little challenging for young 'uns. There's nothing in it that's particularly offensive (unless you are scandalized by the phrase "consorting with wenches"), but in terms of sentence structure and vocabulary, it's primarily aimed at grownups at teens. A sample excerpt, just to give you a sense of the reading level:
    What Jerusalem is to devotees of the world’s three major religions, Tortuga is to pirates, except that pirates view the constant violence in their homeland as a wholly positive thing. A lawless, decadent mass of groghouses and brothels, with drunken or otherwise unconscious bodies of pirates littering every street corner, Tortuga is--in the words of the island’s official motto--”The most wretched hive of scum and villainy you’ll ever find!” Tortuga consistently takes the top spot in Pirate News and World Report’s “favorite places” poll.
    PS: BearGuy, we've been trying to convince our publisher to issue a box set! No luck so far. If you wish to make it more likely, you should probably buy several thousand copies of each book.
  • Tortuga is Mos Eisley?
  • > What Jerusalem is to devotees of the world’s three major religions The Hindus care about Jerusalem? Snarking aside. Nice work jacobw!
  • I'll just have to get it for myself, then!
  • I seem to be spamming this thread up something awful this week. I am sory. I have just awoken from a terrible slumber, you see, and exploded into action. Well, sort of juddered into action. Anyway, our website now has a radio thingummy, with half hour music shows three times a week (hopefully). There's about 10 on there, at the moment. radio goaste Hopefully it all works. I'm going back to bed, now, for three months or so.
  • I am so not getting dnged again.
  • Oh no, what did I do?
  • I would like to nominate dng (or "dingles," as I like to call him) for the honor of Unsung Monkey of teh Intertubes. This place would not be nearly as cool without teh awesome dingles regularly dishes up, usually in spurts of hot, sticky web goodness that run for days, weeks, even months. Whose idea was Monkeyfilter? Dingles! Who is the only person standing between HuronBob and your brain? Dingles! Who secretly played all the roles in the Great Cat Pee War, not with sockpuppets, but MIND CONTROL? Dingles! Who is a little bit country, and a little bit alt-hillbilly? Dingles! Who bought me a new car, so I'd come online and say all this about him? Koko! And who does she have a crush on? Dingles! Here's to you, dingles. You may have the honor of stabbing quidnunc.
  • Is that gay slang?
  • Who's the greatest homophobe around? Dingles!
  • Hurrah!
  • ♫ Hooray for Captain Dingles, the African explorer! (Did someone call him schnorer?) Hooray hooray hooray! ♫
  • usually in spurts of hot, sticky web goodness that run for days, weeks, even months. Shockingly, February was the first month since monkeyfilter started that I didn't post a single thread. Please do not hate me
  • ♫ Hooray for Captain Dingles, the African explorer. He brought his name undying fame, and that is why we say: Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! ♫
  • Is it possible to derail the self-postFilter? I guess this is a derail... but hey, free stuff! I have a fabulous "Obey Butterstick" shirt that needs a good home-- you can see what it looks like here. It was supposed to be a Christmas present for Pallas Athena, but I, being somewhat of a dumbass, neglected to notice that I had ordered a JUNIOR medium. Does anyone have a particularly slender frame? Or a particularly hepn'n'with-it child who would appreciate such a shirt? Email me at the address in my profile and it's yours!
  • It might still fit around my left thigh, if you got to me quick.
  • Hah! You and me must be about the same size, then. As it happens, the shirt goes to the divine sugarmilktea, who was the first person to email me. Wear it in good health!
  • ))) to speedlime! Thanks for such a generous offer. Mrs SMT will be the lucky individual to wear Obey Butterstick. I would post a pic, but doubtful she would allow me... *wishes it would fit me*
  • Hey, guys, not to worry: I'm back! Was simply out of the country for 11 days and was therefore "AFKB" to use the jargon. Heh. Love the lingo!!! ;) Anyway, stop worrying, wouldja? *snort!* Just a short hiatus for some personal business. Oh, one more thing - a note to the Tricycle helper and that "Number two", and the other IT-types: apparently the search comments function does not work, for when I searched for several phrases such as "where's RalphTheDog?" and "Has RalphTheDog left???" nothing at all came up. Must be a flaw in the spidering mechanism or something. But you really do need to fix that, dears. Anyhow, no more worries, you guys! I am back, so let's get this party back on topic! Fuck, yeah!
  • Well, while you were gone we went an' got all classy an' Frenchified an' shit. We were sayin' "Ou est Ralphlechien?"
  • Mot, yo.
  • We picked out our new puppy (flickr) yesterday. She'll come home the beginning of May. That's Mr. Dx holding her and the teddy bear.
  • OOOOOOOOO PUPPEEEEEEEEE
  • ACK! *dedz fr0m teh skw333*
  • yeah, what pb said!
  • Man, that's good looking. And the dog is cute, too.
  • What gorgeous ears and tail! Don't change a thing!
  • Wow. Lovely pup.
  • I'll leave Mr.'s ears alone 'cause he'd complain too much otherwise. Ears a half-sib who is halfway there.
  • I made a new website, dedicated to throttling. It is safe for work
  • Ahhh throttling.
  • Absolutely beautiful, and obviously a labor of love. In TUM-related news, I finished my translation of Pauline Viardot-Garcia's "Cendrillon," and we had our first read-through last night. (Less than 24 hours after finishing the translation, bien sur.)
  • Yay TUM! What was the secret message you decoded?
  • I wish I had the work ethic to learn a language. But that cuts into my Venture Bros. watchin' time.
  • I have posted your link to Mefi dng, cos I want to up your bandwidth bills.
  • Oh, excellent. Cheers. Also, oh no, the curse of the goaste/goatse spelling confusion continues apace
  • Pleasure's all mine dng, and I had the added bonus of pissing on Koko's chips! Job's a good'un :D
  • Not to toot my own horn excessively, but I just finished my year-long Sonnet Project, and I'm well chuffed. And dng's throttling website is the dog's bollocks.
  • *notes that Koko posted on the blue, but not here* *narrows eyes, plays theme music from "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly"*
  • Well, why not put a damned link to the Koko post, so we can stew along with you. da Da da Da da. Wah wah wahhhh.
  • Ha ha ha! From the B3TA mailout: >> Throttling cartoons << "There is no sight finer than a man throttling another man, except for maybe an ape throttling a man, or a woman throttling her child," claims DNG. Although his collection looks more like the work of a strangulation pervert than comic book geek. http://www.throttling.us How little they know...
  • I might have to track them down and throttle them for that slur
  • MonkeyFilter: you need to dress your man-thing in a saucy red bandana MonkeyFilter: Ou est Ralphlechien? MonkeyFilter: spurts of hot, sticky web goodness that run for days, weeks, even months MonkeyFilter: Try to spare a though for the LIVING, you zombies. MonkeyFilter: You people are IDIOTS. If I were in charge of this site, you'd be thoroughly STABBED.
  • *smacks lips, pours another
  • Oooh that's excellent!
  • That is awesome. That's some nice lemurin' kit.
  • Scaredy Cat Sorry, had a busy weekend.
  • Go buy this album; I played piano on several tracks.
  • Love the cat
  • To help publicize the aforementioned Government Manual for New Pirates, I have created an automated pirate curse generator. Ten thousand bamboozled barnswallows on a monkey's moustache! Go bookmark it now!
  • gave me the same curse 4x in a row.
  • A billion back-strokin'barristers on a mathematical monkey! I think the button does not refresh correctly, at least in Firefox. Using the browser's own refresh works, though.
  • A busload of bunglin' bangups on a crused monkey! I am an idiot! Or, at least, a very mediocre HTML programmer. It should be fixed now. Clicking on the button should get you a new curse in Firefox.
  • Also, I apparently do not know how to spell "cursed." Bah.
  • It's like there's some kinda bad luck thing goin' on with you and that page.
  • 'Tis Blackbeard's curse, matey: Blackbeard's curse and ye may lay to that. 'Tis the Black Spot ye've been tipped, and no mistake. Avast... Arrr...
  • Blackbeard's Curse is available through prescription only. See your doctor. Side affects may include vast treasures, treasures lost, the cat o' nine, and spontaneous diarrhea. As with any medicinal curse, do not take with other curses unless specifically told to do so by a licensed health professional. © 2007 Blackbeard's Curse Limited., Coinjock NC, 27923. All rights be hereby reserved, ahhrr.
  • I helped found a theatre company! Our first performance is this Thursday! Woo! And the amazing gomichild built our website! Double woo!
  • Another reason to wish one lived in Florence...
  • *Adds to list of reasons to move to Fiesole*
  • Ah. All the world's a stage...except the bit by me. Which I think is the ticket salesman's broom cupboard or something. Well done you actor-types. Break a leg etc!
  • Well done, mothy! Wish I could be there! (and gorgeous site, gomi!)
  • Congrats, mothy! And gomi!
  • (^_^)
  • errrr?
  • Perhaps a sister site to this?
  • So that's where the white clouds come from dng.
  • I would have thought that God could do more than blow smoke rings -- blow smoke giraffes or starfish or something. Maybe he just likes the shape. I can dig that. Perfection, eternity...
  • It's a Zen thing, Captain.
  • Eeee! I love it.
  • There's nothing awesome about it -- it's a tragedy!
  • Hey, less talking, more topiary chicken pictures!
  • So... less talk, more bawk bawk!
  • You people. "I want pictures of the Mountain Lady." "I want pictures from the Paris meetup." "I want pictures of the topiary chicken." This is no reflection on me -- just on the failure of your respective imaginations.
  • Remember he said that the next time he goes beggin' for a shoutout.
  • I'm imagining the Capt right now...
  • She makes me want to do a sex wee.
  • *hides*
  • stickmans - hundreds of my crappily drawn cartoons, all collected in a big net of some kind. (there's almost 450 pages of them, on there, and some of them are actually quite good)
  • just not many of them
  • I especially like the Bestiary, The Man With An Egg For A Head is my new mascot.
  • I've been wondering for a while - how are the babies & yet-to-be-born babies? How's things with you all?
  • It turns out that my wife has a blog. Just what the world needed. Actually, it is pretty good, and I am proud of her efforts.
  • Ralph: your wife's blog is wonderful - direct, well-written and honest. Maybe she should be writing a novel.
  • > how are the babies & yet-to-be-born babies? Our three-month old is an absolute wonder. He's beautiful and smiley and sweet and laughs a lot and he sleeps very very well (up to eight hours in a stretch at night, even though he's on the mommy-juice). This is in stark contrast to his older brother, who didn't sleep through the night til he was maybe 20 months.
  • Uh, not to be a downer or anything, but I just wanted to thank those of you whom sent cards and cookies and such, if I hadn't thanked you already. It was all quite thoughtful and lovely, and very much appreciated. As appreciated as it was unexpected. You guys are the best imaginary friends I've ever had.
  • *gives the Captain an imaginary hug* Ralph, your wife is too good for you. kit, when you said "this photo's a bit dark", I thought you meant the subject matter, not the actual picture. I want it to add to my collection of the other kit pictures I want.
  • Louis, hope all is well with you. Well as it can be, at least. how are the babies & yet-to-be-born babies? Two months to go, and all's well. h-swamp's getting more uncomfortable and having no fun sleeping through the night, and the dogs next door are not helping, but otherwise it's smooth sailing.
  • It's fun being the Cap'n's imaginary friend. He lets me keep a hot plate under the bed.
  • I had an overaggressive pitbull living next door to me when I was pregnant (no, that's not a metaphor, there really was) and every time I complained, people would offer to feed it antifreeze for me. It got a bit disturbing.
  • Antifreeze? That's a bit drastic, no? Some Visine and coffee is good enough.
  • We're reaching an understanding with the neighbors, knock wood. It's not that they don't care, it's just that their problem-solving skills are, shall we say, not impressive. But I've laid down a *friendly* "you shall not pass" not-quite-ultimatum to them that appears to have worked, at least for now.
  • Yeah, the antifreeze was drastic, which is, strangely enough, why I always said no, laughing as if I didn't think the suggestion wasn't deadly earnest. Dog's still alive. Still barks. We put bricks along the bottom of our fence and now it can't dig under and snap at me when I'm changing over the gas cylinders. Hooray!
  • Lara - you can hang it in your imaginary art gallery, y'know, the one where cappy is the snoozing attendant. MCT - wadda ya mean the dogs aren't helping? What do you expect them to be doing? Running errands? Massaging her swollen feet? Attending pre-natal funny breathing classes with her when you want to go the pub? They're dogs, ferchrissakes! You want the moon on a stick, beardy! Capt - don't speak too soon. The gay porn I've ordered you hasn't arrived yet...
  • MonkeyFilter: You want the moon on a stick, beardy!
  • D E A T H S Q U E E
  • Great. Now I have to build an addition to my imaginary gallery. Gheesh! I want that kitty.
  • I think you're a gifted artist, kitfisto. But I think you need some tough love here. Isn't it time to stop ripping off other people's copyright and focus on original images of your own? Nobody cares about Hello Kitty, pal. You can do better.
  • Fuck Right Off Shithead . It was a fucking commission of an old work! Ferchrissake!
  • Also, you smell bad.
  • P.S. 5918 - 733 + 7 years at art college = pwned
  • PPS I'm not your pal.
  • Okay, the "Also, you smell bad" comment was intended to immediately follow darling's attack on kit, hence being hilarious beyond all belief. Sadly, due to an unfortunate error in timing, it became sandwiched amid kit's reprisals, and therefore could be erroneously seen as my taking a shot at darling. Which I only do on the creationism thread, never elsewhere. I suppose to some, it could also be seen as a stunning rebuke to minda25, but if you were paying attention, you'd know that I only do THAT on the demotivators thread. Lastly, some might view it as me just hitting on koko (yes, again), and for them, I offer no apologies.
  • Frank but friendly constructive criticism (no swearing or abuse, either - can we do without that, please?). I believe you need to hear this for your own artistic good - sincerely. If I've touched a nerve, maybe that's for the best. I don't smell, I stink.
  • LOL - ah, Darling. Have you actually stopped and looked at the kitty paintings? Do I have to spell out why I chose that pop-cultural icon to pastiche? Because if I do, well, I'm sorry, I'm not going to - it's a pretty simple concept. Plus, you obviously missed the explanation on the flickr page that it was a re-working of an old piece for cash (surprise - artists need to earn money too). I found your comment to be patronising in the extreme, as well as ill-informed. I'm sorry if being told to fuck right off offends you, but that, I believed, was the only suitable reply to your 'hey, I know more about what you're doing than you do' shit approach. If you wish to patronise someone here, I suggest it's not me. Thanks for your comments!
  • I happen to appreciate the death kitty theme, both as a comment on culture, and for the fact that I, for one, somehow still think Kitty is cute. (It creates a huge fissure in my brain, that. In a good way.) And I don't think the criticism was called for. If you don't like the art, then I think that's valid. But I don't think it's valid to question the artist. And if I weren't pooooor, I'd have a print of each. And not just 'cause I want to jump kit and have my wicked way with him, either.
  • Sorry if my turn of phrase is offensive, but I really do mean it constructively. See, Lara, the trouble is Kitty is still cute, even in kitfisto's rendition. I don't think you're really helping by encouraging him to stay in this tame and bland mode. What's he going to move on to - dead Garfield? Snoopy the Grim Reaper? If he could paint something really offensive he might start to do justice to his talents, which again, I recognise. But now I'm going to fuck right off.
  • So Kit, do you do murals?
  • If he could paint something really offensive he might start to do justice to his talents Why? Because shocking = good? Fortunately, the point he's making with the Hello Kitty paintings is quite a bit subtler than that, which is probably why you missed it.
  • Uh, darling? You've haven't fucked right off yet. We're still waiting.
  • *dreads kitfisticuffs*
  • darling: you might need to take a step back and look at the purpose of this thread. It's where people come to show off things they've done. What it isn't is a discussion thread in the normal sense. You may not be a fan of some of kit's work, but we aren't here to analyse that. It's one of those event where if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all. So, calm down and come back.
  • I would pay cash money for a painting of Snoopy as the Grim Reaper. If I had cash money, that is.
  • Not that it needs to be said, but in my saying a moment ago that I'm "hitting on koko" in no way means that I am not also hitting on The Underpants Monster, upon whom I hit early and often, typically with an eerie, almost almond-scented chocolately goodness. I would similarly do teh hit upon the wicked lady fish tick, but, frankly, she scares me.
  • I don't aim to be offensive in my art, I save that for here (that's why the Hitler kitty never materialised). If darling or anyone else would look at my broader body of work, they will see that of the approx 60 pieces there, there are about 6 distinct kitty images, it's just some have been explored in different versions. That's what artist do - explore a theme, especially if it seems to be working / popular. I've pretty much stopped doing new ones now, but I'd be a fool to turn down commissions, wouldn't I? Darling's further comments, I'm afraid, only reinforce my opinion that he is ill-informed. Sorry pal.
  • Mmmm, almonds.
  • MonkeyFilter: I'm sorry if being told to fuck right off offends you Ah, the smell of taglines in the morning.... Kitlers have been so overdone.
  • gramma finds the world's funniest link...
  • Hello Kitty! Please welcome Maurice - the newest addition to our family. Courtesy of the ASPCA; June is "Adopt-a-Shelter Cat Month"! His name at the shelter was given as Maurice, and so it shall remain. He's got to be the most laid back, cuddly, warm cat I've met in many years... and he loves the kids. A BIG step for Mrs. SMT to accept a feline companion in the household!
  • mmmm, orange kitties are teh bestest kind
  • Can you at least pronounce his name "Miaow-reese"? He looks very nice.
  • don't think you're really helping by encouraging him to stay in this tame and bland mode As far as I'm concerned, if I want to encourage Kitfisto to stay in a tame and bland mode, I'll encourage him like a goddam steamengine. KITFISTO! Yeah - YOU. Listen: you stay in a tame and bland mode, you hear? If I ever see you leave for a different mode - say, a mode that is wild and picquant, or a stray mode that has an undertaste of hops, or even a mode simultaneously oblivious and odiferous, I'll be extremely upset. Do you realise that there are some people in this world who don't even HAVE a mode? That they have to scrape together a living from the modeless dungheap of their lives, hopelessly dreaming that someday - if they're very lucky - they might be able to afford the smallest hint of a personal style - yet never, ever even contemplating the awesome possibility that they could have a whole mode for themselves? And yet you sit there, safe and happy within the warm bosom of your mode, laughing at the "sans-modiers" and spitting in their blank and anonymous faces. How I hate you! One day, Kitfisto, we styleless assholes will break through the high walls of your genre, we will trample the barriers of style underfoot and attack you within the very sanctum sanctorum of the pretty mode you love so well! And then WE will claim dominion over a new mode - a mode of blood! HA AH AHA AHA AHAHAHA AHAHA AHA AHA AHHHA AHHAHA AHA AHA AH AHAHHAHA AHHA!!1
  • *eats pie a la mode*
  • I am such a sucker for orange kitties, and that appears to be a fine specimen of one, smt. Congrats! And kudos for taking a shelter kitty. They're often the most loving.
  • Hey Quodnencs! I've just got one thing to say to you... [
  • Hey Quodnencs! I've just got one thing to say to you...
  • And yeah, it may only be one thing, but it needed saying twice. fuckity
  • OK, Kitfisto - that's a good argument. I see your point: and I'm not above admitting when I'm wrong. It was rash of me to criticise your modality, and you undermined my argument with your modus monens. I just hope that we can now all put some syllogisms back together and invalidate tracicle and her premises once and for all.
  • I'm partial to an orange cat myself. Do you pronounce his name "MORE-riss" or "more-REESE?" I used to work with a feller named Maurice who pronouced it the first way, and got a titch defensive if anyone pronounced it the second. Or heard it spoken and then wrote it "Morris." He'd say, "I'm not a chair, or a cat."
  • Did he speak of the pompitous of love?
  • We've been pronouncing it "more-REESE" (well, from my 3 year-old son's mouth, it sounds like "more-EEE"! Teh squee). One of the workers at the shelter told me that orange cats are always male, unless there is a rare genetic mutation. That was news to me...
  • Really? I've known mamy Mama Reds in my day. Feisty lasses, every one.
  • That's what she said, anyways. She also told me that Calicos are always female. Upon googling, it appears that this is usually the norm, but not always the case.
  • My orange cat is a girl, as was her mommy. It appears that there is a Common Myth about orange males. All orange cats are male No, it is possible to have an orange female. Unlike the orange male, who only needs one copy of the O gene to produce an orange coat, the female requires the O to be on both chromosomes. If she has only one O, the resulting coat colour will be calico So it seems an orange female would be more rare, but still possible. As Sammy proves :)
  • Oh, and male calicos are actually xxy cats. Meaning they can't reproduce.
  • Unless they're mosaics. I'll shut up now.
  • Just to continue the meme of the slightly informed, I thought that female calicos (such as mine had black, tan and white markings, but the male version only had two colors.
  • and I'll end that parenthetical when I damn well feel like it.
  • My calico kittypuss is all girl... she is like cat spumoni, and just as sweet. Congrats to the SMT clan on their new Meowris!
  • There are no male calicos. If there's any orange gene at all, the male will be completely orange. Simplifying a big, the color gene is on an x chromosome. So Tom can be xy where x is orange he'll be all orange, no matter what y is. Tammy is always xx so x1 may be orange and x2 black, in which case Tammy is Calico. She may have x1 orange and x2 orange, in which case she is orange. The only way a male can be a calico (so to speak) is through a chromosomal deficiency wherein he has an x, a y, and an extra x. So he's not really a Tom, in the strictest sense of the word, and cannot reproduce. A female that's just red and black (or tan and orange if the colors are diluted) is a Tortoiseshell. If you add white in the mix, she's a Calico. An interesting fact is that the more white a calico has, the more distinct her orange and black patches will be. The less white she has, the more muddled-up together they are.
  • (Tan and gray, I mean)
  • Yes, we've all found my favorite subject: cat genetics.
  • So when do we get back to telling shitheads to fuck right off?
  • OK: fuck right off, Captain.
  • ONLY KIDDING
  • Not only am I adding several way-more-fonder points to my Lara cubicle (and, yes, I keep a cubicle for all of you, just so you know) but I am also simmering because no one complimented Marge on being a way cute cat. She deserves this and more.
  • Beautiful kitties all - take 'em to the kitty thread! Marge is very lovely, but the I-hears-kan-opener face wins. Here's my Moe-reeces.
  • Cats - boooooooooooring. Turtles is where it's at.
  • I might mention that Marge helped me corner and eventually live trap (in an inverted trash can) an uninvited-into-my-bathroom chipmunk today. Chippie was re-introduced to the great outdoors and hopefully will retain a fearful remembrance of life in the house.
  • I got so caught up in the calico thingy, I forgot to tell you about Marge. She has the most crazy/awesome eyes ever. And she's gorgeous. I won't ask how you got a chipmunk in your bathroom, but I will say 'Good Girl!' (That's for Marge, not you.)
  • That streak down Marge's nose is hypnotic. And she's totally pulling a "Yes, I'm Catherine Deneuve, you want to make something of it" pose in that picture. If only Mr. Whiskers hadn't had The Little Operation. He and Marge could have had the most gorgeousest kittens ever.
  • OK: fuck right off, Captain. He knows I exist! *giggles, run off to tell kit*
  • Hey. Nobody told me to fuck off. I feel so sad and alone.
  • I went a nudist camp this weekend. (fuck off Lara)
  • Yeah Lara, you fucking shithead. Fuck Right Off. (But only so we can all take a good look at your ass). Noody camp? More info plz.
  • Thank you! I feel so much better now. Yes, please more info. And pics, of course.
  • Yeah. Of Lara's ass.
  • Why don't you paint one?
  • Lara's ass is too far out of my bland and tame mode, so I hear...
  • Not really my achievement as such, but Sister Renault was safely delivered of a baby girl today, 4:25 London time. Ella Johanna. 7.5 lbs. No idea as to overall size yet.
  • Yay! Soon, you may begin to spoil the sprout.
  • Hooray Uncle Renault! Buy the noisiest toys you can find. It is your right and privilege as an uncle.
  • No noisy toys as yet, but those will come. Baby Ella is already the coolest kid on the block thanks to me sending her a Ramones onesie, and baby black Chuck hightops. Wooden toys are on their way...
  • sometimes I wonder if kit would paint my ass. But then I pass out and wake up sober
  • Many congrats to the Renault Clan on the new member! I like the noisy toys, because when she plays with them I know exactly where Abigail is and what she's doing. It's scary when things get quiet, because a one year old can wreak all kinds of havoc.
  • Would you paint Hello Kitty on my ass?
  • Ah - well done sister renault. I shall visit the child and hover over it like a benevolent witch in a fairie tale. And lara, yes, I would, but obviously I'd need to get a feel for the canvas first...
  • Sir Kitfisto I wish to commission a painting of the ass of Lara No price is too steep For fine a work as this I will hand it upon my wall And gaze upon it As I sit for my nightly meal
  • Okay. So if an actual, non-photoshopped painting of Hello Kitty on Lara's ass could be posted here, the internet could die having fulfilled its promise, could it not?
  • You can now post links to your own projects on the wiki! Projects by Monkeys
  • We have a...oh, never mind.
  • I'm not sure about that promise of the internet thingie, though.
  • Hey, we've got all these food threads - maybe there should be a section of the wiki to post Recipes by Monkeys.
  • Like this?
  • Well, kind of like that. Maybe a little. There might be some casual similarities between that and my idea. I'll get my coat.
  • OK - do you mean more like how I just set up projects? Pages of separate recipes linked to a main category? We can do!
  • There is the Monkey Kitchen...
  • I was just sarcastically mocking my own shameful ignorance of the already-existing Very Cool THing.
  • Well to be fair.. it's a little bit hidden. I wouldn't have noticed it really except for the big de-spamming us fircers did today.
  • I'd like to request a section in which we can list which Monkeys are our friends and which are our blood enemies.
  • *Has flashback to empty shoebox on Valentine's Day 1980*
  • I like Lara's idea, but the fact is that not only my blood but also my saliva, semen, bile and mucus have many enemies here. I'm not pro-liquidist or an anti-solidite by the way, it's just that - well, let's be honest - you people are all cretinous assholes.
  • my saliva, semen, bile and mucus have many enemies here. It took me three readings to realize that didn't read "many enemas."
  • Hmm probably don't need a whole section, pretty much it's just: the quidnunc kid | 6836 Monkeys
  • you people are all cretinous assholes Even the sock puppets? Man, that is cold.
  • I prefer the term "cretinousshole."
  • Sock puppets have toe-holes, not assholes.
  • Actually, sock puppets are into fisting (how the hell did I get involved in this conversation?)
  • I'm with the sock puppets then. *stretches*
  • I've got two stories coming out in two separate zombie-themed horror anthologies, which are now available for pre-order at Permuted Press. In the first anthology my story, "Till the Lord Comes," is about a shy young man who deals with his grief over his mother’s death in an unusual way. In the second book my story, "If You Believe," is a re-telling of “Twas the Night Before Christmas”…with zombies.
  • Which story is in which book?
  • Congrats TP! That's impressive.
  • TUM: "Till the Lord Comes" is in The Undead: Skin and Bones, while "If You Believe" is in The Undead: Flesh Feast. Thanks, fish tick!
  • Well done that zombie-lovin' monkey!
  • Underpants Monster - want to say thanks for the perfect timing! I didn't know about the recipes section either. Have been taking a look - there's a link to a Medieval food site. My mum is working on a Knights and Castles project with a group of 5 year olds and helping to plan a Medieval banquet. This will be a big help.
  • I thought all they ate in medieval times were giant turkey legs? /renaissance fair
  • To be honest she could give them anything that wasn't burger and chips and they'll be confused. There was no food before McDonalds. Just cabbage and dinosaurs.
  • Congrats TP!!
  • My Minoux - diffuse calico.
  • I LOVES HER!!!!
  • Gorgeous!
  • Awesome. You rock.
  • My first bit of live-reporting for BBC World. This morning. I'm a bit tired now.
  • That mobile is teh awesomeness. And I think the video really captured that waiting-for-the-baby tension. And grat news story. Can't wait for the next installment!
  • That mobile is teh awesomeness. And I think the video really captured that waiting-for-the-baby tension. And grat news story. Can't wait for the next installment!
  • Dude, way to steal my thunder there. LOOK AT ME I'M IN TURKEY TALKING TURKEY TO TURKEYISTS ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY LIKE WATTLES WOO WOO I'M SPECIAL HEY DOES THIS SHIRT MAKE MY ARSE LOOK BIG? Crib shoutout, people. Crib shoutout. Seriously, that's awesome. Keep up the good work.
  • Indeed. Terribly insensitive of me. I shall endevour to shoutout to the crib live on the BBC. How about that, old Tool'o'the Middle Classes?
  • If I didn't say it before, a pre-natal shoutout just fucking rocks. A shoutout from beyond the woooooooooomb... (Wait -- beyond? That doesn't make sense. But it sounds right...) As for Danger, I'll have to check the tale of the tape when I get home, but I suspect it's full of his usual brilliance...
  • Maybe "beyond the cervix?"
  • How about that, old Tool'o'the Middle Classes? Well, gosh! If you can give me a YewTewb link to that, my friend, I'll...dammit, I don't know what I'll do, but it will probably involve a lot of speechless pointing.
  • MCT: Dangerismymiddlename's news is worthy of a FPP in my opinion, and, since you derailed the discussion on this thread, I hope you'll bring his news to the front page. (I know that your baby is extremely important, but he's a very different subject from this.) I wanted to move danger's video to the front page, but I'm still trying to deal with XP's use of new-windows vs. new-tabs, and failing. Is it possible that you could do an FPP so we can follow his reports in another dimension?
  • Two awesome videos. MCT, yours made me tear up! I don't think that a discussion can be "derailed" in the self-post-filter thread, since we're all supposed to, well, post about ourselves. DangerIsMyMiddleName has an FPP here (that MCT recently revived) that we should add this great video to. I'm so beyond impressed that one of our monkeys is doing such great work!
  • I can't see the Danger vid. Says not available. *cries*
  • Sci-Fi Comedy and Improvised Mayhem Double Bill A Great Evening Out! 30 July to 5 Aug, Merton Abbey Mills First up, THEY CAME FROM WOKING is an original play, featuring your very own MUTEBOY as a UFO-obsessed nerd who realises that the world is under threat - but will anyone listen? Then in SCRIPTLESS WONDER (the Sunday Times #1 show last summer) Muteboy returns again as the compere, guiding the audience through a hectic improvisation gameshow where two teams of uninhibited thespians battle it out live on stage. You know 'Whose Line Is It Anyway'? This is better. You provide the suggestions, they provide the entertainment! I know none of you lot can make it, but y'know I just wanted to share.
  • I can make it.
  • Looks very cool, Mutester. I'll be there in spirit. Cendrillon opens this Friday; if I end up with pics I'll post 'em.
  • I shall endevour to shoutout to the crib live on the BBC. Some sort of Turkmenistan reference should suffice. Congrats, by the way! congratulations also to mct, but on a lesser order of magnitude because, really, all he did was have sex. the above was intended as humor, for the record.
  • Damn you look good :)
  • Thanks, but really we should be congratulating Danger, whose televisual reportaging is bounding from success to utter success. It couldn't be happening to a nicer and more talented guy - so concentrating on how damn good I look today in these new trousers is really just a bit irreleveoh right you meant him. Gotcha.
  • All I did was have sex? You know how long it takes me to get a woman to say "Yes" to that?
  • No. *cries* *cranks*
  • Thanks for sharing, danger! And congrats!!
  • well done to DIMMN - good stuff. And big congrats to MCT! so you'll be there then Quid?
  • The first night of Cendrillon went very well. I only ran into one set piece, and only came in on someone else's entrance once. Huzzah! First backstage pix here and here.
  • Which one is you?
  • I hope you're the one with the dagger.
  • Why, I'm the cute seventeen-year-old in the size 5 dress, of course! Just kidding. I'm the one in blue with the pretzel on my bodice. (I'm German, you see.)
  • Why, I'm the cute seventeen-year-old in the size 5 dress, of course! Just kidding. I'm the one in blue with the pretzel on my bodice. (I'm German, you see.)
  • Why that's loverly! I wasn't aware that pretzels were part of the period's attire. Attractive and delicious.
  • Great, now I really want tiara too.
  • I am in a group show at the local bohemian cafe / gallery. Anyone in the area is cordially invited to sample the tame and bland works on display.
  • Hmmm. The tame and bland aspect has piqued my interest, but will there be anything there that rips off other people's copyright? That's what I'm really looking for.
  • Thanks Ralph! Glad you asked! I've made sure that several multinational corporations are given grounds for legal action, so the show is shaping up to be a real hum-dinger!
  • Looks awesomely bland, kit! Good job!
  • Good on ya, kit! Those other guys -- are they pals of yours? Are we free to mock them?
  • Mock away, I don't know them from Adam. well, I do know one of them from way back, but go for it anyway.
  • So you're Sean Kittens, right? Hence the nom de filtre? Congrats!
  • Well, the first one is a nice vacation slide. It would look good on a motivational poster of some kind. The spaceman is nice. The best of the non-Kitfistoic. But there seems to be this trend going on now where drawings which would have been considered 'illustrations' are being passed off as art proper. Illustrations absent context? I'm not buying it. If the spaceman was in a children's book, I'd think it was pretty good. But it's not. The one in the middle is total kife. He would have gotten a C+ in my grade ten art class, along with a suggestion to take up a trade class next semester. Monkey is aces. Skateboarder -- meh. It's a picture of a skateboarder. I can't see anything that buddy has brought to the subject, other than a desire to cash in on someone else's coolerness. But what do I know?
  • You're like the Clement Greenberg to my Jackson Pollock.
  • Now I'm hungry for an omelet. Kongrats, Kapable Kit! Wish I could be there! And while I'm in this thread, here's the closing night cast picture from Cendrillon.
  • I like what they labelled the "magic flute". Well done, TUM!
  • Congrats to kit & TUM! Nicely done! Every time I see this thread in the side bar, I think hillbillyswamp's gone into labor.
  • Captain, you have a dirty mind! That's what I love about you. I believe the magic flute is actually the green-clad woman below the text and to the right.
  • Lara plays for the other team? Who knew?
  • Well, that'll teach me to caption chorus boys' nethers. Ya buncha pree-verts. Corrected version.
  • Nope, minda25, LCT seems to be quite happy where he is for the time being. Two/three weeks-ish and counting.
  • Just had my performance review -- instead of a security escort off the premises, I got an unprompted 10% raise! And to think I was gonna ask for five! VAMOS A LAS PUTANAS! Criticisms: too much time on the intarwebs. I mean, really!
  • Whoa there! *implements plan to increase interwebs time while at work in an effort to buoy pay raise* I'm thinking 2000 comments in one month should suffice...
  • "But Mr. Boss Man, I'm drumming up business for the firm!"
  • See, if you had a My Space page like Bernockle, you could justify it! And congrats!
  • You owe me $20. Take a look at my new pic PLZ
  • oooooooo
  • Is good. I approve!
  • I like the pink.
  • It's wonderful and pink is exactly right. I'll be in England next week. Is Salford near Liverpool? We could do the shoutiest damn shout-outs ever.
  • /has the M*A*S*H theme song stuck in head
  • Na. It'll never catch on with the NeoCons. Red. White. Blue. Very traditional, those folks. (cool, where'd you come up with the idea?)
  • *ahem* It's because I abhor violence and war, and yet am fascinated by guns and military kit - like many men of my generation, I suppose - so it's dealing with my fascination with all things military, whilst deflating said feelings by giving it a 'touchy - feely - girly' pink background. I fucking love hueys, but would be petrified by going to war. Hitler said that war was to men what childbirth is to women, and while not completely agreeing with the genocidal mono-bollock, there is something about warfare that fascinates many men. I hope I can rise above it whilst respecting those that have gone through it (my family has a rich and honourable martial history). Um, and well, you know, all that stuff... I hate talking about my work
  • I like your description. I've always seen your work as a kind of juxtaposition of innocence and cruelty, which is kind of what you said. Nice!
  • You've nailed it, much more succinctly than I did...
  • I hate talking about my work Just suck it up, 'fisto! T'was well said
  • I thought it was because pink's, you know, a pretty sweet color. But whatever with your subtext and stuff.
  • I was going to note the defining tension between the positive and negative space, and the sly reference to Rorschach tests, but Lara's explanation was much better.
  • When I worked at the art museum and had artists being their own work in for shows, I used to delight in infuriating them by pointing at the work as they carried it in and saying, "Ooooh, pretty!"
  • sly reference to Rorschach tests Hell, I thought it was someone taking a machete to a fried chicken leg! Nicely done, Sir Fisto.
  • "Bring" ther own work in. "Being" their own work would have been some kind of performace art, which we didn't get into. Hey, Kit, would you paint us a preview button?
  • Ooh kit dat's cool. Pretty bland and quite derivative, but showing a lot of potential ;)
  • Pretty's good too. People buy pretty...
  • SELL OUT!!!! (~_^)
  • I'll put you down for three, then...
  • I like the fish!
  • W00t! Newsnight here you come!
  • Cool, I'll try to watch on News24.
  • kit, you can probably tell me this: how can I make acrylic finish matte if the pigment isn't matte? I've tried matte medium and fixatives but I still end up with that glossy finish. I'm trying to leave oils, but this makes me miss them.
  • You can buy matt acrylics, and possibly a mixer, although I'm not sure about that. One way to do it with the stuff you've probably already got is to drybrush over the paint as it's drying - you know when it's still tacky? However, this can be tricky as it dries so quick that you can be busy painting before you get a chance to drybrush it (drybrush or a balled up cloth etc, anything to mess with the surface as it dries). However, this can give it a slightly 'mottled' look in the light, so you may lose that flat finish.
  • Don't you mean "you may loose that flat finish"?
  • The castle at the end of time - a comic strip in fifteen chapters
  • Whoa. You blew my mind.
  • Tres cool! I'm guessing there won't be a sequel, though! ;-) I just found out that a proper professional opera company wants to use my translation of Cendrillon, and may actually pay to do so.
  • Yay TUM!
  • Thanks, kit, I'll try messing around with the drybrushing and sponging. (I've usually used the latter in the past to make textures and uneven tonal patterns for the underpainting, never thought of using it to roughen up the finish!) Is it just me (or firefox) or does the sidebar erratically refresh and erase unvisited posts and comments for anyone else?
  • Yayayayayay! Happy birthday Jack, you handsome boy you! Many congratulations, MCT & HBS. Finally, I was right when I thought "the baby's here!!!" when I saw this thread on the sidebar.
  • HE'S FREAKING GORGEOUS! What beautiful eyes! Congrats times a billion! *does happy monkey dance*
  • CONGRATULATIONS GUYS!! Welcome to the world, Jack! We're looking forward to getting to know you! *giant hugs* all round
  • Welcome littleclasstool!
  • That's some mighty fine progeny there, you two! Quite a set of lungs on the li'l feller!
  • What a cutie - congrats!
  • Ah, he's lovely. Let the spoiling begin!
  • Well done, mct.
  • Outstanding use of sperm, there mct. May he grow up in a world where community web logs include a preview button. Also, kudos to hillbillyswamp, for the minor role she played.
  • Beautiful, beautiful little boy. When's he getting a username?
  • Cutie! Congrats.
  • It never occurred to me to check self-post filter for the congratulations thread. Certainly was a link to some beautiful content you created yourselves, mct and hillbillyswamp. Bless the wee sproglet.
  • Well done Mr & Mrs Beardie! Aw - a ickkle baby!
  • CONGRATULATIONS!
  • A handsome wee monkey there, MCT & HBS!
  • Hey, islander's back! Hi islander!
  • Wonderful - congratulations!
  • Huzzah! Congratulations, Felicitations, and much Joy and Love to Jack. Way to go HBS and MCT!!!!
  • While I wish to congratulate you both on the youngest good-lookin' Hillbilly Tool, I do want to chastise you for posting videos of your infant's beet-root red butt all over the intarwebs. This child may be scarred for life.
  • This child may be scarred for life. Sheesh, GramMa - it's called a navel. Most of us have one. Nothing to get twisted knickers over.
  • I knew this would happen when I was away... Happy birfday, Jack! Welcome to the Monkey House! And also, congratulations to HBS and MCT for the hard work. Some harder than others. *cough*
  • I'm also dragging in late, but with plenty of kudos for the three of you. That's a fine young'n you got there, mct. Congratulations!!
  • We graduated from puppy kindergarten last week and start grad school next week. We are all simply too proud of our baby. /spoiled rotten little bitch.
  • Apparently, I don't read the captions of pictures. Congratulations, hillbillyswamp!
  • I guess Harvey Danger was wrong about breeding. Congrats! (be nice to him or someday he'll put ya in a crappy nursing home)
  • Thassa handsome doggie you got there, dxlifer.
  • Congrats to you both, mct and hillbillyswamp!! I'm late to the party, but what a fine looking boy he is! Best of luck in the new world of parenthood...
  • Hello, everyone. Nice to meet you.
  • Welcome to the Monkey House, LCT! (Advanced for his age, isn't he? Must get it from his mother.)
  • Who'sawiddlesockpuppet? Who'sawiddlesockpuppet? You are!! Yes you are!! Noob.
  • Him's surfin fer baby pr0n.
  • He's not even old enough to drink cockpunch, yet he's postin' like he's full of otter bile.
  • I like that
  • Is good.
  • Not tame enough. Back to the drawing board.
  • This has nothing to do with my baby. Try again, please.
  • I have grown a beard though, if that helps.
  • Y'know, maybe the Hello Kitty things weren't so bad after all.
  • My baby already has a beard, frenchy!
  • the ship - another story about two men on a lonely planet i'm nothing if not unoriginal
  • congrats MiddleHillClassBillyToolSwamp, that is one handsome young man there!
  • I refer the 'Honourable Gentleman' to my previous answer.
  • i'm nothing if not unoriginal Why must you do this to my brain?
  • Mild evil
  • How's the missus & the little one, MCT?
  • Good. Still not adapted to sleep well -- he's getting a couple of hours between feedings, but the little dude squeaks a lot in his sleep, and our lizard brains have not yet learned to filter out the meaningless noises and really take advantage of those precious few hours.
  • Sleep-squeaking sounds incredibly cute.
  • It's cute when you're rested ;)
  • that's what MrsTheDog often says...
  • What a nice baby! Congratulations and may he soon become a sleepy little munchkin.
  • I don't think you ever really learn to filter out the noises. I still wake with a jump if I hear something in the night, whether it's a cough or a ticking clock. Still ready to leap into action, but more prepared now to pretend to be asleep and let #2 deal with it. Keep at it (not that you have a choice!), he'll settle into longer sleep time soon, hopefully before you both turn into mindless zombies.
  • I went from sound asleep to running in .05 seconds the other morning when I heard kitty about to chuck a hairball on the dresser. I imagine parenthood is sort of like that.
  • Yeah, pretty much, Koko. Sounds like things are going exactly as they should be, MCT. ;o) Again, many congrats on your little bundle of joy.
  • Thanks for all your good wishes, everybody. We've had a good 24 hours -- he slept well, and I bought a pair of pants that actually fasten with a BUTTON. Miracles never cease.
  • Congratulations all around! As for me, I am inches away from being a doctor. Dissertation is done and signed by my adviser and just awaits two more signatures. Which is why I'm here again after 6 months of ignoring the internets entirely.
  • Congrats doc!
  • Is there a doctor in the house? Why, I do believe...
  • Congrats, yentruoc! And how's the sleep, MCT?
  • And how you feeling, hillbillyswamp?
  • Yay to all parties! Good to see you, yentruoc!
  • Congrats to yentruoc from here as well. May your labors be fruitful, and may your shingle hang high. ;) Thanks, Hwingo, all's well enough, but we've had a rough few days. Right now he's got three settings: asleep, nursing, and mad enough to kill a goddamn grizzly. Been harder on hbs, as she's his sole food source right now.
  • Tell her to be thankful he doesn't have teeth yet. Insight via my sister, mom of my toothy -- and toothsome -- year-old godson.
  • MonkeyFilter: Three settings: asleep, nursing, and mad enough to kill a goddamn grizzly Awwwwwwwwww! Hiz first widdle tagline.
  • Nice to see you back on the internets, hillbillyswamp! Buttons sure are exciting. I have had an ongoing war with buttons ever since kid #1 was born. And congrats Dr. yentruoc!
  • Well done doc. Does this mean we get free medical advice now?
  • !yentruoc .rd stargnoC MCT/HBS: for help with sleeping, we've found this to be fantastic for our second. I think there are lots of similar products: the motion of the cot does appear to help a lot.
  • ding - loving the cartoons, you insane bastard you. More please. Congratulations, Dr yentruoc! hbs/mct - a friend sez this really helped her baby sleep.
  • This really helps me sleep.
  • Well done, Dr. yentruoc! Be prepared for a lifetime of interruption at parties and airports, with people asking you to have a look at their rash.
  • Can we call you "yentrudoc"
  • Paging Dr. Yetrutoc! Paging Dr. Yentruoc! Please take care of Ralph's rash.
  • The button was on a larger size than I'd like, tracicle, but I'll take what I can get. And as for teething -- white in LCT's gums = NOBOOBFORYOU. I'll be checking out those sleep aids. Last night MCT's chest worked fine, but eventually he'll get tired of sleeping in a chair, much as I don't mind the peace and quiet three rooms away with the doors shut. Meanwhile, NannyTool has arrived for the weekend, so I'm doing a quiet happydance. And congrats, Yentruoc!
  • Well, you can consider yourself lucky in one respect - some of thems is born with teeth!
  • Haven't pimped myself here yet, but maybe it's time. I'm working on a book about my experience (over 20 years) with panic disorder, and PANIC!, the blog I started to house stuff I find while doing research on the web, has lately started to take on more of a life of its own. In any case, if you know anyone who suffers from panic or anxiety, they might want to give it a look-see.
  • That's awesome HW. Bookmarked for reading properly later. Many bananas to you.
  • Hawthorne Wingo: your blog really got to me. It seems really brave of you to discuss the subject in the way you have. A lesson of understanding for us all.
  • Very impressive HW!
  • Rock on, Hwingo. Will visit. For now,must sleep.
  • Wow! Very insightful and well-written, much good advice, Hwingo. Best of luck with your forthcoming book.
  • Good work HW, good on ya. Kind of puts my constant pimping into perspective. But I'll carry on anyway!
  • HW, (you shill for the panic industry) I suffered for years (since childhood actually) from nasty debilitating panic attacks. Tried every cure under the sun... from pharm to natural.... nothing worked. Until... I stopped eating anything with sugar, fruit and corn syrup. About two months later... no more panic attacks.
  • Not the first time I've heard something like that. There was a story in the WSJ recently about "alternative" treatments for depression, and among others it looked at one guy who changed his diet after a naturopath suggested he had food allergies. Bingo, anxiety gone. If you've had 'em long enough, of course, there's still the problem of the patterns you built up (shame, avoidance, whatnot) while panic attacks were part of your life. Anyway, Argh, I'm stoked for you. And thanks, all, for the kind words.
  • Aw, shaddup, ya big lug! No, no, I've just got something in my eye.. *sniff*
  • Good for you HW.
  • Fear is a strange thing. One thing I found that helps... is when you're starting to have a panic attack... Stop and look around... See if there's anyone about to hit you with a stick... If the answer is no... Well, then there's nothing to be afraid of. (unless there actually is someone about to hit you with a stick... then you're fucked)
  • ding - loving the cartoons, you insane bastard you. More please. Thank you. For you: The city I'm not really sure if this one works at all
  • Yep, it works. Profoundly disturbing, thought-provoking, and moving. You have great talent.
  • I think that is the very nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Thank you
  • What mothy said. I love your comics.
  • I think that is the very nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. *cries*
  • There, there. That was the previous nicest thing anyone had ever said to me *holds mr tool, tightly*
  • Top drawer, Dingles!
  • Top drawer, Dingles! Now that's gay slang if ever I heard it.
  • Tho?
  • Tho there's nothing wrong with that, obv.
  • I forgot I had a crush on Dingles. *dreams*
  • I've got a lovely bunch of dingles?
  • Berries?
  • dingles? dingles! dangles ain't nuthin' nasty dinglin' or danglin' on google tonight
  • If I may be permitted a personal brag, today I just crossed the 100 mile mark since I got my nano and started Nike Plus on July 12th. Yay me. I am also the current leader in the August MetaFilter Runs monthly challenge. If you're a MeFite and like to run, I heartily recommend it. ...OR...how about a MoFi challenge? Hmmmm? Any takers?
  • I have run twice as far and twice as fast as MCT, except that I did it in my BRAIN, and as everyone knows, the brain is the primary organ of running. I also had a minor orgasm at about the 4K mark.
  • I have it on good authority that RTD hacked his brain's pedometer to return inflated numbers.
  • What do I do if I'm on MetaFilter and have the runs? Good on ya, Dad - I'm inspired by your perserverance.
  • ...OR...how about a MoFi challenge? Hmmmm? Any takers? *LOLs!! WE are monkeys. We sit and laugh at silly MeFi humans groaning, straining, aching, and staggering by. We laugh that they pay money to do this. Then we eat Pop Tarts and drink cockpunch.
  • > ...OR...how about a MoFi challenge? Hmmmm? Any takers? Maybe, but I want to know what "started Nike Plus" means first. Also, I'd be a bit keen on a new left ankle, but it's not essential.
  • Nike + iPod is a sensor you hook up to your iPod nano that acts as a really nifty pedometer -- tracks distance, speed, calories burned, etc., and allows you to upload the data to their site. You can create and participate in challenges, so forth. The website is here, and a great description of all the benefits to it is in this MetaTalk comment. You wouldn't have to buy the Nike+ gear for us to have a challenge, though. There's a great site called Runner+ that allows you to manually enter data, and they're working on a web app to allow data uploads from Garmin pedometers as well. They're still working out the bugs, but it's working.
  • allows you to manually enter data Oh, so you could like lie manually enter your own data? Hey, I like that. Count me in. Today I did a 10k with a few extra jogs around the block after I ran rings around Petebest.
  • Was that what that was? I thought it was the after-effects of the potsnorking.
  • Pete! I'm tellin' ya, stay away from that rice pudding! The rice padding is affecting your jogging speed.
  • One of my Flickr pics has been shortlisted for inclusion in the next Schmap guide for Liverpool. An odd choice of pic, I thought...
  • Perhaps because it shows sunshine in England?
  • Or live grass in Liverpool.
  • Why I Oughta...
  • It's funny because it's true.
  • Shut up and kiss me!
  • When I was a kid I thought there were actual pools of liver in Liverpool.
  • There are! Actually it was originally called Bilepool, but they changed it to sound more cheery.
  • That Nike/Nano thing looks very cool. I had planned to get back into running this year, but I'm a procrastinator, and now summer's almost over, and I don't have a Nano, and (I'll come up with more excuses for my laziness later) Maybe next year. A mofi challenge would be great, if humbling.
  • So does this mean that there are oxen in Oxford, horses in Horsham, goats in Goathland, sheep in Ramsbottom, and dogs in Barking? I suppose you get eggs in Egglescliffe and apples in Applethwaite? What about Crackpot? Great Fryup? Foggy Furze? Yarm? I suppose you boys will snicker at Blubberhouses, Bitchburn, Cockfield, Wackerfield, and Flass. I'm half afraid to mention Wetwang. I love English place names. I want to move there and have three houses. One in Pity Me, one in No Place, and one in Whipmawhopmagate. I feel a FFP comin' on!
  • "'E's got Tender Bottom to cope with." --Mavis Moulterd
  • I worked on another film and it's finally online. Also, if any of you monkeys are in the DC area near the end of September, it will be part of opening night--Thursday, 9/27--of the first annual Alexandria International Film Festival. (This was another one of those "48 hour film projects" where the whole film was conceived, written, shot, and editing within a two-day period. This was my first time directing one, so I got to test some theories I had about how to make the blasted things watchable. Hope you enjoy it.)
  • Well done, BG. The theories must be sound.
  • Very nice, UrsineFeller!
  • I enjoyed that!
  • Nice work, BearGuy!
  • In DeLeon Crossing, the latest film from Mofian director BearGuy, we are left with the answer to a question never asked, except possibly "why should we care?" At a grueling six minutes (20MB, Flash), helmer BearGuy begins his long, tired journey by presenting two unremarkable couples and an older woman with a name I cannot remember played by an actress whose name I am too lazy to look up. The point is, she's old. The other actors are not. Hmmm. Did someone say plot device? One of the two couples is interracial, a fact that perhaps someday will no longer need to be noted, but it is a black guy with a white woman, I'm just sayin'. In this casting, the viewer's attention is diverted from the juxtaposition of youth versus age in favor of hoped-for hot black-on-white Mandingo love action. Sadly, it is not to be. Due to budget constraints, a planned car chase sequence was omitted as a bridge between the first and second acts. This is a shame, as it leaves us with only the actors and their vapid dialog. The gratuitous violence that a film such as this begs for is left on the cutting room floor. Director BearGuy's dénouement is as flat as the rest of the film, consisting of many smiles, a now-old black guy, and something else that happened but I missed because my cell phone went off. Crossing the bridge, Ponce de Leon, we get it already. Been there, done that. Disappointing work. One and a half stars.
  • Shit. Tough crowd. I (almost) hesitate to say: Take Me Out Tonight Almost, but, well, meh.
  • In yet another cry for help, Mofi "artist" kitfisto attempts with his dreary Take Me Out Tonight to shed his image as a tame, bland and talentless hack, yet only manages to increase his lame capital in the first national bank of artistic sucktitood. This black, red, and white visionless waste of oil tries to tell us that an assault rifle combined with cutie baby eyes is in some way deserving of a spot on our basement rec room wall, or perhaps in the vaunted spot above the urinal in the employee toilet next to the condom machine. Sorry, I have far better accessories for both spots, and that includes native rust, mildew, and the odd semen stain. At least somebody's AK-47 wasn't shooting blanks. "Kit", as he is known to his fans (Mum, sister and mangy dog, primarily), has again managed to convince himself that a hefty piece of canvas somehow finds added value when infantile sketches of silly creatures are spread upon it, with vague interpretations cast in wet paint. If failure is your interior design motif, do buy this painting. Rating: One-half star.
  • Shit. Tough crowd. Indeed. Good preparation for festival rejections. (And hey, most of those come with no critique.) Thanks all (yes, you too RtD) for watching.
  • Well, that went quite well, I thought...
  • Hey, they're not just cutie baby eyes. I believe they're skull-and-crossbones Hello Kitty eyes. Ralph, can I send you a cake I baked for your review?
  • Ralph, did you ever listen to any of my CDs? runs, hides
  • Lara Cake Review: ATM. Ate too much. And kamus, if memory serves, you can get bad reviews without my help. undeserved as they may be.
  • Ralph, I invite you to critique your comments in this thread...
  • Do I have permission to quote you on my PR material, sir?
  • RalphTheDog's latest excretion, "02:30AM UTC on September 13, 2007" is simply more of the same from the constantly overwrought sockpuppet of jilted Paris Hilton's pet chihuahua, Tinkerbell. Though full of recognizable invective and often inspired bluster, RTD hasn't won over the LurkerNation yet, though he still aims to try. "I thought kitfisto was really good, RalphTheDog shouldn't have said those mean things," said bleary-eyed 13-year-old Jamie Maltherson after scrolling down 1,427 pointless self-flagellating comments in this thread. "Kit's gear!" chimed in her companion Lou Renault. Perhaps so, but RTD's latest is but sad commentary on only cake and jazz, surely the last two bastions of noisy prattle in the buzzy gadfly oeuvre from RalphTheDog.
  • I thought the picture was pretty.
  • Seriously, though -- it's good. The juxtaposition is one thing, but it's the interplay between the positive and negative space that I find wery interestink.
  • wery interestink Emphasis on stink. Just kidding, Ringo, it's good.
  • Eh?
  • Not you, the other Ringo.
  • Ah. Right. Sorry.
  • Thanks Margaret.
  • I've been without the internet for a month It was so cold. So quiet Now I am back I bring you some more cartoons Near the middle of the crystalline forest (a short fairytale) the girl who loved to shout (a short children's story) The important journey (a not so short and not too great story about a train journey) and some maudlin nonsense (unfinished and overwrought post apocalyptic nightmare)
  • That first is very, very dark, dng.
  • Middleclass and littleclass. Because I've refrained for two whole months.
  • Too much refraint - more, more!
  • Toolmation!
  • That's more squeeworthy than a bagful of cats in sinks!
  • Effity eff eff eff, I can only say that your baby is just as (or maybe almost as) cute as my baby. He's adorable! Enjoy him.
  • He's teh skwee alright! I love how he's sitting up just reading along.
  • Here I must congratulate MoFi's own caution live frogs, who has roundly kicked my ass in the September MetaFilter Runs challenge. He is ranked second in the the whole thing and an impressive FIRST among runners (sequential, the current leader, maintains a walking pace). Not only this, but he has managed to accumulate nearly twelve more miles than me (as of this writing) at a much faster pace than my punk ass can maintain. I missed two short runs and had to abandon this morning's long run one mile short of my goal due to dehydration-related exhaustion, but even factoring those miles, I wouldn't have come close. Dr. frogs, the only thing I can say is that you'd better be damn glad DangerIsMyMiddleName hasn't entered the challenge. Word on the street is that crazy insane mad crazy loony mad wacko crazy person is actually training for Badwater, quite likely the most difficult footrace and most painful suicide option mankind has ever devised.
  • I missed two short runs I take that back. I only missed one short run, according to the calendar. So frogs beat me by that much more. NEXT TIME, OLD MAN, WE SHALL MEET ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE.
  • Way to go, monkeyrunners!
  • Crazy buggers. You rock.
  • What is this 'running' of which you speak?
  • Two paintings commissioned by adidas for the opening of their new Liverpool shop. Workin' for tha man!
  • Let me be the first to say - sellout!
  • I was wondering where you was at. That's pretty awesome stuff. You consistently outdo yourself, making my kit collection look like crap. Thanks a lot.
  • And judging by the fact they were serving Corona, you sold out to a buncha heathens. Well done!
  • That's wonderful, kit. Congratulations. Now kiss me, you mad, mad fool.
  • Nifty use of the Chinese character!
  • Wow that's huge! Nicely fisto'ed there kit!
  • what does the Chinese character say? Great job kit!
  • Well done, Ringo. Did you get a free pair of runners?
  • It sez "angry!" (怒 nù) Fuming even! Fits with the title "Cross."
  • Cross trainers?
  • *badum-tish*
  • *throws cream pie at MCT* Now I want to go to England and buy sneakers!
  • Good work, kit. They are both excellent
  • Hurray for kitfisto! Wonderful news!
  • That oughta keep you in beetroot butties for a while, kit. Well done!
  • Wow! Awesome pics, and even awesomer news!
  • Thanks. I thought they'd like bland and tame. I got no free shoes, but Will Sergeant did. Bastard!
  • Erm, I have a documentary on BBC Radio 4 tomorrow night - that's Thursday at 2030gmt, and repeated Sunday at 2130gmt - if anyone's interested. It's part of the Analysis strand, and you can get a podcast and stuff. Radio 4! Apparently the trailer I recorded is going out during Today, tomorrow, during which I might get a bit too squeeeee. ok, ok, it's just me.
  • Ooh, Radio 4!! *Readies slippers and glass of sherry*
  • *applauds*
  • Another comic, if any one is interested. Slight illness delirium (it has 15 chapters)
  • My latest logo design, which I am especially pleased with because it's so simple and obvious.
  • awesome!
  • Nice design!
  • Very nice.
  • Classy.
  • danke.
  • That logo is so reminescent of a neon beer store and so perfect for the site - which I saved for Mr. dx. I know he'll love the videos. Watching videos is about as computer literate as I've managed to drag him.
  • It's been a long time since I had anything to brag about but I've been informed that my last CD is going to be on Cadence Magazine's Editor's annual Top Ten Jazz Recordings of 2007. Of course, I no longer respect their editorial acumen but it's nice just the same.
  • One hep cat you are, kamus.
  • kamus, I am listening to your music with glee. Is the CD available at commercial outlets?
  • I'd like to brag that we removed over 150 sq. ft. of carpet and underlay today. There's good hardwood underneath. /rubs lower back tenderly.
  • Groove to the kamusic!
  • I've spent the morning gardening and just uncovered a dead hedgehog. I scampered in here to tell you all about it! Yay kamus! Poor dx, but I love hardwood floors too. Can't convince #2 to let me do the same here, because it's too cold.
  • Thanks monkeys, though in the light of Tracicle's dead hedgehog discovery, I'm feeling a little less cocky. For those interested, my stuff is available at Amazon, iTunes and CD Baby and will soon be available in Japan thanks to a new distributor. Just search "David Kane" and "David Liebman" and you'll find it easily enough. (sorry, too many links to post here)
  • Blow baby, blow!
  • Thanks to kamus and his groovy sounds, I am now boppin' around the kitchen doin' the washin' up, man.
  • "Dead Hedgehog" would be a great name for your next CD, kamus.
  • The self-post filter has gotten too long. Even on the T1 line at work, it takes too long to load. So I don't care what you all do.
  • i've seen that dance before.
  • Congratulations, Kamus The self-post filter has gotten too long Perhaps we should start a new one
  • thanks, all for the kind comments
  • Belatedly celebrating four years of MoFi, I say yes to a new self-link post. Kamus should do the honours once more, as I don't think my hedgehog is appropriate.
  • B..b...but I loves this thread!
  • This thread will still hold you close at night. The rest of us will be embracing a new, more efficient thread that washes our socks as well as treating us with deference and respect.
  • I hear the new thread will do things that the other thread wouldn't do for me. Yeah, I mean that.
  • Very cool news, kamus! Congrats!
  • Well I'm honoured by the suggestion to start a new one. As soon as something worth blowing my horn comes about (avg. wait- two years) Meanwhile we may have to go with the hedgehog.
  • So... are we all too chicken to start a new thread? *I* am, even though I'd love to mention that I'm now selling my hand-dyed sock yarn online.
  • mechagrue, I'd love to have seen this link of yours, but this page is way too long to to load for me. Wait a minute...
  • And MCT, you mean like putting the toilet seat down, don't you?
  • I had to wait 45 minutes on T1 for this thread to load just to hear about a toilet seat!? And another 45 to wait for my comment about waiting 45 minutes to post? BANNINATE!...or something... At least the yarn is awesome. Makes me get that old crochet urge again. Nice work, mechagrue!
  • Thanks! (Ha ha I will post a one-word comment, thus updating the Recent Comments box, thus causing people to feel the irresistible urge to load the Post Which Loads Slowly. TEH POWER.)
  • Don't you think
  • something like this
  • would be more fun
  • AND
  • effective?
  • Back in the crate! Bad dog! Now I have the urge to do something worthwhile so I can start a new post about it. There. It's passed.
  • Dammit, RalphTheDog totally got me, I was all like "Oo, 10 new posts! I bet it's really interesting stuff happening, I must click to see and OMG THIS THREAD TAKES FOREVER TO LOAD and... Oh."
  • Yeah.
  • By "yeah," I mean, "Yeah, that's a good one."
  • By "that," I mean RtD's sleight-of-post.
  • Holy crap, that last comment took a long time to load.
  • HA! I said "crap" and "load" in the same sentence!
  • i have absolutely no idea what's going on.
  • Kamus' jazz artistry index declines each moment that he fails to start the new self-post thread, not to mention the growing problem of MCT's anal leakage.
  • This thread loads fucking fine, you bunch of wingeing cunts! Fuck right off with all this 'new thread' crying. Love ya!
  • Ah, that felt good!
  • See, now you guys have turned the old thread into a poo-flinging playground, and we'll have to have a new thread for anything worthwhile. Maybe if I had a Mac, this thread would load faster...
  • We could always spill over into the adjacent threads. I'd like to know how the wedding went, and I've been itching to post a link to yarn made from the fur of Australian possums.
  • My Jazz artistry declines just by virtue of the fact that I, along with the rest of you, lose roughly 500 brain cells/minute. That according to Bill Bryson in "A Short History of Everything".
  • I sure do miss this old thread. And the countless cups of tea I used to make while waiting for it to load.
  • THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!
  • What is, Smoochie?
  • This page must not die. It's the only way many of us have to take a break from information overload.
  • Listen, adminnypants, you can take the thread off to a new threaddy, but you can't take the thread out of the thread. And no, I AM NOT DRiKNING!
  • I'm duplicating a post by our own f8xmulder that he stuck into another thread. Old home week: Lol. Is there any way we can all do a world-wide MoFi meetup? I'd be happy to jaunt anywhere on the seven continents. I've been too busy to do much online community stuff for the last two years, primarily because I am now officially a movie producer. I've got a film premiering in Ethiopia this December in Addis, and up to this point, I've been working like mad to get the darn thing completed and in a state worth showing. Still lots of work to be done, marketing, et al. But it's nice having that notch on my belt. How's everyone else doing?? I miss you :/ posted by f8xmulder at 07:37AM UTC on November 30, 2007
  • Use the new thread, you luddites!
  • NEIN!
  • My latest accomplishment: Getting this page to load.
  • We shall fight them in the new thread. We shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength on the Front Page, we shall defend our thread, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the message boards, we shall fight on the blogs, we shall fight in the emails and in the mofric, we shall fight in the Mofi; we shall never surrender!
  • I didn't know there was an old thread until I saw the new thread, and since you are all a figment of my imagination (my latest accomplishment), the new thread came first.
  • My latest painting, which I'm not sure if I like, and it's a poor quality pic, so I might as well post it here. It's got a good title though.
  • "50 x 70ck" Centikits?
  • CHUT UP.
  • It being fifty by seventy centikits, everything depends on how long a kit is. So, how long is it?
  • s got a good title though. Nononononono. Not a good title. BEST. TITLE. EVAAAAR.
  • I refuse to look at it until it's posted in the new thread. Time is money, people!
  • Not just a good title, good advice. Fuckers.
  • Painting sucks, title sucks.
  • RTD, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all! *GramMa crosses arms, scowls, burps, adjusts bustle*
  • So then Daisy May goes, "No, I said 'lucky socks'!" Ha ha! Heh. Ehhh. . . . Cause, see . . she misunderstood the guy when . . see, cause . . Ohh Pfffthhbhthhhbbthh!!
  • Wow. A comment commented upon by Gramma and the Petes. Like old times again. Write a poem about it, Bees.
  • PETE!!! Com'ere! GramMa wants to plant a big wet one on yer.
  • Let's have a petey party!
  • The world is a small place. I did a quick search on Facebook looking for an old friend, and in the list of results was someone in Texas who's profile picture is one of kitfisto's images. KITFISTO IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD, AND WE UNLEASHED HIM HERE FIRST!!! *runs for cover*
  • *demands royalties*