I waited the eight weeks and then made a deposit at the pathologist. The little guys are still hanging around! Now they're probably not up to much but I don't get to play in the sunshine without my hat hat on until there's an all clear.
So I have to wait another month and test again. My question is (and I'm not sure of the demographic here) how often I should be doing the business to make sure the pipes are clear. At $50 a pop I want to reasonably sure it's the last visit to the laboratory. The doctor when asked was very non-specific and would only say 'be vigorous'. Does anybody care to share how vigorously successful they were? FWIW I'm aiming to be vigorous every day for the next month but should I step this up? #1 and #2 need not contribute [congratulations to you both].
I'd say go at it until you're running on empty and then proceed to drive until the engine gives out.
Just drive up to Oregon, find a cop, pull down your pants and tell him Bush sucks. You'll be sterile in no time at all.
Does anyone find ironic that the next post is titled "A-Carving We Will Go"?
*shudder*
GramMa is a bit puzzled about all this, young man.
Are you telling me you didn't do your homework?
Where is your work ethic? I expect you to get on back into your room and do what needs to be done.
*grumbles
Young men today, HUMFFPH! They're all just afraid of a little hard work. Don't want to get their hands dirty.
Out of curiosity, how was the actual clipping and healing? I keep claiming I'm gonna get myself fixed but I keep wimping out. Every now and then I hear a horror story that makes me want to hide and then I put things off for at least another year.
No horror here aspo. Went to sleep, woke up and it was done. Slight discomfort for a day or so. I know you can just get a local anaesthetic but the whole procedure is free here in Australia so hang the cost and knock me out.
It's the constant sex and masturbation afterwards that's the hard part ;-)
Oh... and the getting of the sample to the laboratory within one hour. I live well over an hour from the nearest one.
*catches plane to America, hires car to drive to Oregon and visit GramMa BlueHorse, picks up hitchhiker aspo and has interesting conversation, runs out of petrol in front of police station*
What they don't give you a room and some soft core pornography? My faith in the health system is shattered, just shattered.
No one is ever going to snip my balls, no sir, no way, no how. The mere thought of it makes me cringe. I know one thing, though, a woman convinced you to do it.
When I decided to get it done we discussed it. When she said "I always wanted another child" I decided right there and then. So I guess she did convince me.
I threatened divorce when Mrs Skrik brought up this bright idea for our love life, and I was serious.
I was always under the impression that after the cut, you could never uh... close the deal. All attempts at sex or masterbation, while fun and pleasurable, would never reach a conclusion.
If you can still finish the deed, what's the point of the surgery?
No sperm. Just semen.
It keeps your swimmers from entering the race
Suomynona, you have a lovely set of circumlocutions.
As long as you've got a prostate gland, there's still juice.
oh
Knickerbocker: you still have orgasms, you still squirt.
Tellurian: you need to find a clinic with a maturbatiorium, so you can deliver your man-juice piping hot!
Speaking seriously, every day for a month should be more than sufficent, if you can manage it. If you can't quite keep up that pace, just wank off as often as you can. Really though, if you do it everyday and there's still little guys left over, those are some seiously tenacious little, um, f**kers.
All juice. No seeds.
aren't your palms getting hairy? aren't you going blind?
perhaps you're just not feeling guilty enough.
So a vasectomy would require me to mastbate often for a month? Is there in medical procedure that would require me to masterbate often for ... I don't know, ten years? I'd love to have a medical excusereason to masterbate all the time.
Mr. Knickerbocker, I've already discovered such a condition. It requires sex or masturbation at least five times a week, or else the condition threatens to overwhelm the sufferer.
I call it "grumpiness."
On a more scientific note, there don't seem to be any published studies on wanking and time to azoospermia, but there is a study on sperm clearance:
Gomez de Vicente JM. Romero Cagigal I. Blanco C. Pastor J. Moreno Santurino A. Santos Arrontes D. Miravalles E. Berenguer Sanchez A. [The natural history of sperm cleareance after vasectomy]. [Spanish] Actas Urologicas Espanolas. 28(4):286-9, 2004 Apr.
OBJECTIVE: To study the time required to obtain a negative sperm analysis after vasectomy. MATERIAL AND METHODS: We reviewed 239 consecutive vasectomies performed between september 1998 and september 1999. All of them were done in an ambulatory basis. Follow up interval was 41-853 days (mean 144, median 104). The first semen analysis was requested between 1 and 6 months after the surgical procedure. If the sample still showed spermatozoa, then a new one was requested every two months. Probability of becoming azoospermic was studied with Kaplan-Meier curves. RESULTS: Persistent spermatozoa could be found in 31 patients (13%) at the end of follow-up. Despite having a positive semen analysis, 10 patients (4.2%) discontinued medical visits. Time required to obtain a negative sperm count ranged from 58 to 362 days (mean 133, median 99). The probability of being azoospermic 200 and 260 days after vasectomy was 80-90% respectively. A total of 328 semen analysis were requested (range 1-4, mean 1.37, median 1) CONCLUSIONS: A minimum of 200 days (6.6 months) are needed to clear all the spermatozoa in semen after vasectomy in 80% of our patients. Requesting the first semen sample 7 months after vasectomy is cost-effective, reducing unnecesary medical visits and increasing the rentability of this test.Institution
Departamentos de Urologia, Hospital Universitario de Getafe, Madrid.
On a more personal note, my neice was conceived six months after my brother-in-law's vasectomy. My sister made him go for his repeat vasectomy just after the birth so they could "share the pain".
Won't somebody please think of the kittens?
my neice was conceived six months after my brother-in-law's vasectomy
Having just produced our second and planned-to-be-final offspring, my wife and I have been contemplating permanent birth control options, and this is the one that seems most attractive to her us. Thing is, though, if I'm going to go through that, I want to be DAMN SURE it's gonna work.
My best friend was also conceived after his father's vasectomy, so my faith in these things is pretty low. Makes me think it might be better to use more creative methods? (link might be nsfw)
If the tubes are cut/occluded, how on earth does sperm manage to get into the semen 7 months after the vasectomy? The mind boggles (or at least, my mind boggles). Can somebody point me to site that might explain this phenomenon?
Human tissue is a little too good at mending itself sometimes.
Alnedra, They're tenacious little bastards, with wicked awesome powers of both telepathy and telekinesis. They use their awesome powers to use us men as mass transport vessels. They understand little of human society, and care even less about it. They're on a mission, and they aren't going to let us stand in their way.
v-tach, thanks, good info, but... A minimum of 200 days (6.6 months) are needed to clear all the spermatozoa in semen after vasectomy in 80% of our patients. oh man, my arm hurts! NSFW
excusereason to masterbate all the time.herus. Thing is, though, if I'm going to go through that, I want to be DAMN SURE it's gonna work. My best friend was also conceived after his father's vasectomy, so my faith in these things is pretty low. Makes me think it might be better to use more creative methods? (link might be nsfw)