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October 21, 2004

New Australian party platform: enslave New Zealand. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry hysterically, but either way I'm not washing Nostril's socks.

Seeing the front page, I thought it was the "hand job to New Zealand" party.

Geographic pr0n. It takes all kinds.

They're just jealous because NZ is so honest.

'Sfunny cos it's not me.

Based on the honesty ratings, I'll cede the US to NZ.

I hear Wolof wants some laundry done. I'm okay at the moment, although I do need a shave....

Sounds like New Zealand and Canada need to team up under the banner of Relatively Rich Countries Without an Armed Force Who Rely on Their Strong, Friendly Neighbors to Defend Them in a Pinch, But May Not Be Able to Indefinitely. Maybe a few little Scandinavian countries would like to join as well.

Woo hoo! 9.6 out of 10 for not-corruptness!

Yay for isolationism. Who would ever attack a harmless and adorable country like New Zealand anyway? We don't need Australia!

But I like doing laundry, so hand it over.

We do have a defence force. You just don't notice it rampaging around the world and invading places and stuff. We go where we're asked.

And don't talk smack about Canada. Last time the Yanks got uppity, they whupped them good.

Canada's defense is pretty integrated with the US's. All the early warning systems agaisnt russian attacks were located in our country (which is pretty logical). But there is such a thing as the Canadian Armed Forces. They're pretty small, but we can't really compete agaisnt the biggest army in the World, can we?

And the British kicked the US's butt in the war of 1812.

Maybe NZ would like to conquer the US? I'd support that at this point.

Didn't NZ's defence force get a huge workout as extras in that hobbit thing? The way they kicked the Dark Lord's ass was awesome!

Now I really must go read the article.

Yeah - in the event of an invasion, I'm sure the elves would turn up at the last minute to give you a fighting chance.

And hey, most of Australia's invasion force is currently busy doing bar work in London, so I think you're fine for now. ;-)

Oh look look look look look!

"Today the glorious Leader of the Enslave New Zealand Party called on the Howard government to provide Australian officials to monitor the US election.

“It is essential that Senator Kerry not be allowed to win the US election...."

(another us election referencein a seemingly unrelated thread!)

NZ's defense force is distracted in Afghanistan with Operations Milky Cow and Woolly Sheep. Now is the moment to strike!

Yay, NZ! Bombard the world with cows and sheep!

Seriously, this is great news - I hope they bring over more.


But I like doing laundry, so hand it over.

What an unusual person you are!

No you know why #2 married her, Wolof.

Nah, he still complains that there aren't enough clean socks. Maybe I'm actually married to Nostrildamus, except Mike doesn't care if his socks don't match.

I'd marry you. Oh, probly my wife would object.

Actually, I often wear odd socks. I have to! But I just get upset when my lucky ones go missing.

Aye, we all get upset when Nostril's socks are missing.
Wot heart of stone can ignore the sorry plight of a sock-deprived man?
When, forced by circumstances not of his own shoes-ing,
he has to place a clean, uncloven hoof into some stiff and threadbare vestige
that's not been laundered since the Ark was floated.
Woe, woe is he, and me, and consequently (I'll see to it) each of thee.

not of his own shoes-ing



most of Australia's invasion force is currently busy doing bar work in London

Note to self: serve flash poison beer at next meetup.

let's all register for hawaii and help them cedeed
then we'll go for quebec
i suggest we let the water take back florida
and all camp out on watangi and form a citystateislandnation

most common uk commentary on eth:
MAD! 'S MAD! So MAD it might work--

The People's Republic of MonkeyFilter.

Maybe Australia is jealous of this too.

The People's Republic of MonkeyFilter will need a grand army of the Republic to counter the increasing threat from the Australians.

This was posted almost a week ago, and I've checked my email every damn day since. Still no Kiwi slaves whatsoevah.


I think at the moment they are just for the well-to-do. However, soon we'll all have one!

All your NZD are belong to us.

That's just ridiculous. Homeland Security is a joke, and it sounds like it's only making a bad situation worse.

We should boycott Western Union.

That was insane.

BTW I never got my Kiwi slave - has that offer expired?

"A new life awaits you in the Antipodean colonies! The chance to begin again in a golden land of opportunity and adventure, new climate, recreational facilities.
"You will be given a custom tailored genetically engineered humanoid Kiwi designed especially for your needs.
"Use your new friend as a personal body servant or a tireless field hand. So come on! Lets go to the Colonies!"

over us he looms too high
there's this knowing gleam in his eye
yon Kiwi 'droid makes us afraid
he's not content with being handmaid

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