zedediah (user #528)

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I have nothing to say at the moment, but it's possible that this statement is incorrect.
Consumer Information: No electrons or protons were harmed nor were any monkeys covered in condiments during the production of this document. Not tested on Scorpios. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Not valid where prohibited by law. Some restrictions may apply. See dealer for details. Prices subject to change without notice. Availability is limited to supplies on hand. No extraterrestrials allowed. Phoenicians need not apply. You cannot be discriminated against because of race, creed or gender. But you're in trouble if'n you're born outside of Texas. No running or diving. Lifeguard not on duty. Children under 12 must be accompanied by parent or guardian. You must be 18 or over to qualify. Quiet, please. I could do much better. I'm just holding back. I'm not defensive. Leave me alone. Stop touching me. Do not remove tag under penalty of law. Void where prohibited. Item sold by weight, not volume. Some settling of content may occur during shipping and handling. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. This is a test. This is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have received further instructions on how the world will end. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program. If you are not satisfied with the quality of this product, a prompt refund or adjustment of equal value will be made. No shoes, no shirt, no service. You must be at least THIS tall to ride this attraction. Do not exceed recommended dosage. If itching persists, please see your physician. Store at room temperature. Avoid excessive heat. Please keep your eyes on your own paper. Avoid driving a motor vehicle or operating heavy machinery while reading. Please mind the platform gap. Alight to the left. No returns on sale items. Dry clean only. If found, please return to owner. Refrigerate after opening. Discard after use. Do not write in this __________ space. Keep away from children. When the bus is moving do not speak to or distract the driver. Keep hands inside of vehicle at all times. Caution: Risk of electrical shock; do not open. DO NOT EAT: Ageless Oxygen Absorber. Surgeon General's warning: Smoking is dangerous to your health. The resale of this ticket for more than its face value is prohibited by law. Saturday stayover required. For a good time call (415) 936-1212; ask for Gale. Keep flame away from face. Contents under pressure. Slippery when wet. Dangerous curves ahead. Never drive faster than you can see. It's all in the reflexes. Hazardous materials such as explosives, compressed gases, flammable liquids and solids, oxidizers, poisons, corrosives, loaded firearms, radioactive materials or monkeys are forbidden aboard the aircraft. Please pardon our mess. Refer servicing to qualified personnel. There are no user serviceable parts. Keep away from eyes. Not a significant source of vitamins. Tray tables must be in an upright and locked position. Do not operate buttons underwater. Printed on electrons hand-picked by monks from the atom fields of Dobbstown, Malaysia, using recycled brain cells and serotonin donated by the faithful. Purchase price will be completely refunded without question should eternal damnation result from the reading of this. The characters depicted herein are fictitious and bear no resemblance to persons living or dead, and any similarity between people and places in fiction and semifiction, and any real people or places, is purely coincidental. All models are over 18 years old.

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