If you use makeup, use it to make yourself feel good, rather than trying to get other people to like you. The people you want to keep around won't care one way or another.
Two longish ones for you:
This one has to be told straight-faced, while reading a newspaper/news site:
"Wow... I just read a story about two kids playing on an overpass. They'd tied a big rock to a rope, and were dangling it into oncoming traffic. When a car got just close enough to see the rock, they'd pull it up. You know, scare the drivers or whatever. Well, apparently one of them wasn't paying attention when a rig came along, and the rope wrapped itself around the mirror and ripped the kid's arm off.
The cops pulled the rig driver over a few miles later, and they charged him.
(listener should say "with what?")
Armed Robbery."
The next one's a little better:
So a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any fish?"
The bartender looks at him and says, "No, I don't have any fish."
The duck leaves, but comes back the next night and asks the bartender, "Do you have any fish?" Again, the bartender says no and sends him away.
This goes on an on, the duck coming in and asking if the bartender has any fish, and the bartender saying no and sending him away until finally the bartender cracks.
"No, we don't have any fish, we've never had any fish, and if you come in here and ask one more time, I'm going to nail your fucking beak to the bar."
Next night, sure enough, the duck comes back. He walks up to the bar, looks at the bartender, and asks, "Do you have any nails?"
The bartender says, "No, I don't have any nails, this is a bar!"
The duck looks back and asks, "Do you have any fish?"
Thanks for the comments! I'd pretty much decided on a 12" iBook as an excuse to bring a Mac into the house, but it's good to know people are having good experiences with them.
Also, look into dynamic DNS (dyndns.org is one). This will let you set up a temporary subdomain where the client can look at the site. Once you're done, just disable the service.
It depends on the issue, I think. It's obvious that the beef and softwood lumber industries have felt the weight of American influence. However, Abbotsford, a small town in British Columbia, withstood the influence of American politics when it fought the creation of a new power plant across the border that would have caused massive pollution problems. Despite heavy American influence from both regional and federal politicians, Abbotsford (with the help of the BC government) successfully defeated the power plant's construction.
Three easy steps to being a better photographer:
1) Take lots of photos, all the time in different light conditions with different camera settings.
2) Note what works and what doesn't, and try to take note of what settings the camera had at the time (keeping a notebook is one way, but if your camera writes EXIF information into the file, that's another)
3) Rinse and repeat.
Understand also that even professional photographers get 1 good shot out of dozens.
The product beeswacky is referring to is called Kitty Malt, and it's really effective. One of our cats would happily eat it right from the tube, but for the other, we'd smear it on both her front paws so she'd be forced to lick it off.
If you cannot use any server-side languages, such as PHP, Perl, Ruby, or ASP, then your only other option is to use XMLHTTPRequest / AJAX to access an XML file. It is important to note, however, that your entire XML file will have to be publicly readable in order for it to work -- which means that anyone who wants to grab the full contents of your 'database' is free to do so.
Alternatively, on the occam's razor side of things: why not just set up a series of pages with different FAQs and a meta-topic to redirect people to the right place?
I live in the only riding in Alberta where the NDP has a fighting chance, so I'm sticking with them And, unlike last time 'round, they have a candidate that looks pretty reasonable and is Liberal-voter-friendly; not to mention that the Liberals didn't even nominate a candidate until a week or two into the election campaign.
I got 10% royalties (standard for their authors) and a $4-5000 advance for my book Apache Essentials on the Friends of Ed label. They also offered increased royalties at different selling points and a separate royalty scheme for book club and electronic sales.
A good tip to know, however. In Canada at least you are only taxed on your royalties earned, not on the advance. So the more you can get on your advance, the better it works out for you tax-wise, especially if you're unsure how well the sales will be. I'm unsure if the same situation occurs in other countries, but it's worth asking your friendly neighbourhood accountant.
Another good tip is to read through the contract at least three times. Make sure you know each and every clause in there, and discuss with your publisher clauses you do not agree with.
Because I didn't see it mentioned yet... to draw a straight line at ANY angle with the pencil tool:
1. Click where you want the line to start.
2. Move to where you want the line to end.
3. Hold down shift.
4. Click again.
5. Voila.
If you want to test that theory, open a command shell and type 'ps'. This will give you a process list. If lsof is still there, you know it's not the sysstat widget.
You may also be able to use top in a command shell to see the list of running processes. Type in P (note: upper-case P) to sort by CPU usage.
If you use makeup, use it to make yourself feel good, rather than trying to get other people to like you. The people you want to keep around won't care one way or another.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Geekin' with Steve"
That "column" hurt English.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Curious George and his Bad Jokes."
Two longish ones for you: This one has to be told straight-faced, while reading a newspaper/news site: "Wow... I just read a story about two kids playing on an overpass. They'd tied a big rock to a rope, and were dangling it into oncoming traffic. When a car got just close enough to see the rock, they'd pull it up. You know, scare the drivers or whatever. Well, apparently one of them wasn't paying attention when a rig came along, and the rope wrapped itself around the mirror and ripped the kid's arm off. The cops pulled the rig driver over a few miles later, and they charged him. (listener should say "with what?") Armed Robbery." The next one's a little better: So a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any fish?" The bartender looks at him and says, "No, I don't have any fish." The duck leaves, but comes back the next night and asks the bartender, "Do you have any fish?" Again, the bartender says no and sends him away. This goes on an on, the duck coming in and asking if the bartender has any fish, and the bartender saying no and sending him away until finally the bartender cracks. "No, we don't have any fish, we've never had any fish, and if you come in here and ask one more time, I'm going to nail your fucking beak to the bar." Next night, sure enough, the duck comes back. He walks up to the bar, looks at the bartender, and asks, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender says, "No, I don't have any nails, this is a bar!" The duck looks back and asks, "Do you have any fish?"
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Anonymous, George: I been screwed!"
Small claims court is useful for this kind of thing. In fact, often just a letter *mentioning* small claims court will help you recover the money.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "The new MacBook is out."
It's surprisingly affordable here in Canadaland... a similarly decked out Toshiba actually costs about the same if not a little more.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Curious George: Small laptops"
Thanks for the comments! I'd pretty much decided on a 12" iBook as an excuse to bring a Mac into the house, but it's good to know people are having good experiences with them.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Curious George: Hosting my own web site, kind of."
Also, look into dynamic DNS (dyndns.org is one). This will let you set up a temporary subdomain where the client can look at the site. Once you're done, just disable the service.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
Apache is pretty easy to install, especially on Windows. But if you get stuck, I wrote a book about it.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In ""
It depends on the issue, I think. It's obvious that the beef and softwood lumber industries have felt the weight of American influence. However, Abbotsford, a small town in British Columbia, withstood the influence of American politics when it fought the creation of a new power plant across the border that would have caused massive pollution problems. Despite heavy American influence from both regional and federal politicians, Abbotsford (with the help of the BC government) successfully defeated the power plant's construction.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Curious George: moving past point-and-click"
Three easy steps to being a better photographer: 1) Take lots of photos, all the time in different light conditions with different camera settings. 2) Note what works and what doesn't, and try to take note of what settings the camera had at the time (keeping a notebook is one way, but if your camera writes EXIF information into the file, that's another) 3) Rinse and repeat. Understand also that even professional photographers get 1 good shot out of dozens.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Curious George: My Cat Keeps Puking"
The product beeswacky is referring to is called Kitty Malt, and it's really effective. One of our cats would happily eat it right from the tube, but for the other, we'd smear it on both her front paws so she'd be forced to lick it off.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Canadian Politics: You win an election."
Even better was the appointment of a cabinet minister to a person who was not elected by the Canadian public. Tory patronage is alive and well!
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Curious George: FAQ web page building"
If you cannot use any server-side languages, such as PHP, Perl, Ruby, or ASP, then your only other option is to use XMLHTTPRequest / AJAX to access an XML file. It is important to note, however, that your entire XML file will have to be publicly readable in order for it to work -- which means that anyone who wants to grab the full contents of your 'database' is free to do so. Alternatively, on the occam's razor side of things: why not just set up a series of pages with different FAQs and a meta-topic to redirect people to the right place?
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Canadian Election: Conservative victory?"
I live in the only riding in Alberta where the NDP has a fighting chance, so I'm sticking with them And, unlike last time 'round, they have a candidate that looks pretty reasonable and is Liberal-voter-friendly; not to mention that the Liberals didn't even nominate a candidate until a week or two into the election campaign.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Anonymous, George: Publishing Deal?"
I got 10% royalties (standard for their authors) and a $4-5000 advance for my book Apache Essentials on the Friends of Ed label. They also offered increased royalties at different selling points and a separate royalty scheme for book club and electronic sales. A good tip to know, however. In Canada at least you are only taxed on your royalties earned, not on the advance. So the more you can get on your advance, the better it works out for you tax-wise, especially if you're unsure how well the sales will be. I'm unsure if the same situation occurs in other countries, but it's worth asking your friendly neighbourhood accountant. Another good tip is to read through the contract at least three times. Make sure you know each and every clause in there, and discuss with your publisher clauses you do not agree with.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Help me draw a straight line in photoshop"
Because I didn't see it mentioned yet... to draw a straight line at ANY angle with the pencil tool: 1. Click where you want the line to start. 2. Move to where you want the line to end. 3. Hold down shift. 4. Click again. 5. Voila.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
In "Curious George"
If you want to test that theory, open a command shell and type 'ps'. This will give you a process list. If lsof is still there, you know it's not the sysstat widget. You may also be able to use top in a command shell to see the list of running processes. Type in P (note: upper-case P) to sort by CPU usage.
posted by staticred 18 years ago
(limited to the most recent 20 comments)