panoptican (user #3204)

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I'm pretty sure that none of you all know me, even so... If you are wondering what happened to me, first of all, that is awfully nice of you, and second of all, I've quit the internet. Feel free to email me though if you'd like, I still check that.
I am qualified for this job because I'm squirmy. I got a college education at outerspace and I majored in words. I consider myself very special because I'm a douche. I'll be working to support my smarmy wife and our three blue-green stop signs. I'm looking for a job that pays between $42 and $43 a year. I have experience using bubbly fingers and a liver. I have a grody attitude that makes me good for spitting. I think these, among many other qualifications, make me right for this impish job. Thank you.

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