In "Blasts in the London Underground"

Any monkeys from Lewisham? I've got a brother on Torridon road and there's no answer.

In "Tom Cruise Kills Oprah!"

Ha! I like your headline better, sugarmilktea.

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah. Why couldn't this be true? *sigh* What a great Monday it would have been.

In "Obesity, genes and lifestyle."

Fat people of a certain weight are diagnosed as "obese", which is, as I understand it, a medical term relating to a syndrome of illnesses sometimes associated with being very fat, even if they have never had symptoms of those illnesses, have no family history of it and are healthy. That strikes me as a bit odd. It's as if one should diagnose a gay man with AIDS even if he tested negative, has never been promiscuous and practices safer sex.

In "Pornokrates"

Public Ledger: A prostitute, because like that paper, she is open to all parties. My fave.

In "The American Film Institute's list of the 100 greatest movie quotes of all time."

"Hey, that's my mother you're pissing on." -Dead Alive

In "The Joy of being Five Years Old"

Oh Jeez, now I'm all verklempt. Tawk amongst yaselves.

In "The American Film Institute's list of the 100 greatest movie quotes of all time."

"Respect the cock... and tame the cunt. Tame it!" - Magnolia

Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder? Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven. - This is Spinal Tap

Brian: Alright, alright, I am the Messiah. Now Fuck off! Followers: How shall we fuck off, oh Lord?

In "How much would it cost you to do like Bruce Wayne and become a superhero?"

Well, the characters on most TV shows are of the middle class variety yet we very rarely see them at their jobs or hear them complain of money problems. It's as if they're living the life of the independently wealthy but wear the costumes of the average hard working American. They offer a kind of subliminal dream of the "good life" without alienating us. Mr Burns and most of the others listed are of the "evil" variety of the rich and we love those because they're stereotypes; caricatures. If they aren't evil they're dark or weird or unusually generous (and we're even suspicious of the wealthy who are generous - Bill Gates, etc).

In "Michael Jackson "Not Guilty" Toast for Sale!"

*snicker* "gets off"

Not Guilty Toast: Goes great with Smooth Criminal Jam.

Shouldn't they cut the crust off? You know, for the kids?

In "Beck is a scientologist!"

Well, some religion had to come along to appeal to the rich and famous and confirm for them that they are indeed special. Afterall, some of those other religions seem so anti-rich ("It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven." Matthew 24:19 - I think) Scientology and the newest version of Kabbalah are perfect religious vehicles for the pampered and famous as they give them the sense that they have power over their lives and are in control of their own destiny. Hmmm...wait..that actually sounds kind of cool. Well, uh, they're wrong and stupid. There.

In "Be buried down under."

Wear light clothing and drink plenty of fluids. It's hot at first but then you get used to it because it's a dry heat.

In "Surviving being Eaten by a Whale"

Make friends with the gerbils and they might show you the way out.

In "PostSecret PhotoMontage"

Cool find, peacay. Man, some of those secrets hit you in the gut.

In "Mark Felt says he was Deep Throat"

Interesting, Melinika. I suspected the motive was money. Nothing wrong with that but it just seems an old man was pressured into doing something he didn't want to do. I can just imagine how persistent Joan and Mark Jr. were over the past three years.

I have a feeling they have an idea. I smell manuscripts being prepared and new clothes being purchased for lots of tv interviews.

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