In "Castration: North Carolina Style"

And what about the nullos out there? They not only want the castration, but a complete removal of everything. I've heard and seen some who'll even remove nipples. And bme of course has their take on it, this one from a member.

In "Pimp My Snack"

RC Cola is really common in Chicago and it's priced to be a premium soda. I was quite pleased when traveling recently to find that in parts of the plain states that it was priced as a discount beverage. $1.29 for Coke, my preferred cola, and $.79 for RC which is my second choice. Pepsi is of course somewhere down the list near carbonated snake venom and August vintage dumpster juice. I did like the use of an iPod for size comparison though, but most of the pimping was quite uninspired. The one on pot noodles looks like a common meal in this house hold.

In "Curious George the trickster."

orange elephant in the corner of a blue room Actually, not all of us. Those instructions are too complicated. One object, one color. That's the max I can handle right now, thank you very much.

In "Yes, in fact, we DO do Windows."

Apple is a company that gets a huge portion of it's income from software sales and high-end and luxury hardware. That G5 tower might make them money but the entry level iBook doesn't really. But both of them generate applecare sales, updates on the OS and the like. Just like how iTunes doesn't generate much revenue but the iPod stuffs their pockets with the Benjamins. For Apple to give up OS X and just make really nice Windows computers they'd be shooting themselves in the foot...with a bazooka. They'd have nothing to compete on, their stuff would do the same as everyone else's stuff. But, they can offer a secure and modern OS with loads of extra features that also boots that copy of Windows that someone "borrows" from the office. And their already mocking Windows by stating that they've overcome a technological hurdle, backwards, to allow for compatibility with the ancient BIOS system of booting up. Now people who might be switchers can get an amazing piece of hardware that'll still run their old OS while giving an increased opportunity to give a skeptic the OS X experience.

In "+5 sword of Curious: George"

and humbly suggest naked, caffeinated, crisco twister night. Been there, done that. Then I discovered RPGs!

In "April fools jokes and hoaxes of 2006 (so far)."

Here's what I'd like as an April Fool's joke today. I'd like all links to point to pictures of goatse. Every single one on the internet. Or just replace every picture with a goatse. Or both! Then, perhaps around mid afternoon when I lay down for my nap I can rest all the more deeply knowing that soon everyone will be so completely jaded to this over played tired joke that no one will care and we can just move along in our collective juvenile senses of humor. We all will never speak of g****e again! The beauty of this is that most April Fool's jokes are hardly jokes at all much as un-'s link has pointed out. So lamely replacing the whole internet with Goatseland will fit perfectly with tradition and perhaps run the "holiday" forever.

In "Curious George: goofiest sex terms you've heard?"

Fluffing the fuzzy parts.

In "Curious, George: camera done been dropped"

Camera transporter is negligent. He chose to pick it up and move it elsewhere. The problem wasn't where it was, it was just fine there, the problem occurred in transit. That said, why are people so casual about the placement of their expensive and fragile goodies? My old roommate kept putting his first cellphone in impossibly precarious places. When questioned about this, no I scolded him, he assured me that the manufacturers would know people would be dropping them all the time so surely his cellphone would be perfectly fine. It was designed to take such harsh handling of course! A couple months later he was naturally heading out to go shopping for his second cellphone. I was right. And I was also right when I had earlier reminded him that replacement cellphone without new contracts were expensive. He figured since the first one was free the replacement couldn't cost more than fifty bucks. Now, back to the camera... Likely it's not just in need of a fix. It may just need a replacement. Modern cameras, and most small electronics, are often cheaper to replace than repair. Cameras are such a jumbled mess of tightly packed bits inside that there's no practical way for someone to open it up and do much anything to it. A friend cracked her view screen and I figured it couldn't be too bad. But the exploded diagram showed there'd be about a zillion steps to getting at it, and the replacement screen would have been nearly $100. An insane price for the screen on a $300 camera. But that's what it'd have taken from the one source I could find it at. So good luck. With getting compensated and having it be a reasonable amount and therefore easier to get recouped for.

In "<b>Curious, George</b>-Nasty Food, International."

As someone's who's predominantly British I'd like to apologize for just about everything done in traditional kitchens with few exceptions. Well, one that I can think of... Yorkshire Pudding. That stuff rocks. The rest is either painfully boring, bad or just stolen wholesale from other cultures and/or so ubiquitous that no one could really claim it. Fish and chips are tasty, sure, but deep frying is hardly a solitary art know to just one country.

My ex was an attorney for Kraft and swore me to certain corporate secrets she found too interesting not to share. However, she turned into a bitch so all pinky swears are off. Velveeta actually has four different recipes. Why? Well because it's a made of waste products and the formula will vary based on what they need to find means to dispose of. It's not just bad food, it's scarcely food. In industrial quantities like Kraft is dealing with, disposing of huge quantities of certain substances is quite problematic. It's expensive as the waste needs to either be processed into something safe for disposal or... made into food so that you all are buying their waste product and loading up nacho chips with it.

In "Litigious George:"

You're probably just out of luck on the removed wood. You'd have a hell of a time proving to anyone that some yard waste had real value unless it was perhaps some exotic wood you were drying for wood working into an income deriving product. But then, you wouldn't be doing that in the yard. The remainder of the fence should be indicative of the quality that the mangled part should be returned to. Be persistent in getting it returned to that but suing is probably not advantageous anyways. Tally up the costs for taking time from work, or even just the bother of spending the time commuting to some court. Add in filing fees and whatever other costs your local government is going to add on for you. In my area even just small claims court is somewhere around $130 just to file and get a date. Never mind that papers have to be served and time taken from my life. From what you describe of the fence it doesn't sound all that expensive to fix. One of the considerations in legal circles is if it's worth bothering to act. Big corporations hate nuisance lawsuits. They're not valid but it'll cost more to defend them than what they'll lose by just settling outright. So when they can't bluff or otherwise talk their way out they'll just settle out of court as it costs less money. Ask nicely but firmly and tally your costs--in dollars and frustration. Life sucks sometimes. You might just end up paying yourself for the fix.

In "Snakes. On a plane."

Butterflies in my stomach!

In "Subgenius custody case takes ugly turn."

I prefer my Jesus dipped in nacho cheese. Much, much tastier.

In "Curious George: Am I a sexual deviant?"

Oh, and if you and yours doesn't know about spanking, This book is readily available and is considered the first buy for learning technique. A proper spanking is much a much better experience for both parties and hence, much more fun.

Everyone has something kinky in them. Everyone. Some are just more open with their interests, others bury them deep down and probably get as much sexual excitement from concealing them as actually living them. Now, go get in a conversation about saucy stuff, tell this person you like spanking and ask what s/he is into and then start living it out. And remember, if you can't adequately explain something then demo it, have fun with the show and tell--make it hot, not clinical.

In "Photoshopping"

When Ansel is out on the field he's putting colored filters over the lens to alter what light is going to hit his black and white film. This'll do stuff like darken the sky, lighten plants, etc... In the darkroom the dodging and burning only affects things like brightness and contract and stuff. But you can localize it to specific areas, like making the subject of the photo pop out more by creating a greater contrast ratio between it and it's background. It's really quite a minimal change, but tastefully done it can make an average photo compelling--without changing what's really there. It's a bit like having a zillion lights, reflectors and assistants to run around placing them. The stuff that's done in photoshop though, that can easily get to recreating reality. But there's a big difference between changing values, brightening and darkening areas, and radically altering things though trimming off a few pounds and removing all traces of wrinkles and pores. All good modern photos get diddled around with in photoshop, much as Ansel did though often to a far higher level since it's so darn easy and quick now. The problem is that it's also super easy to take 10 years and 20 pounds off someone.

Awww... *hugs flaterik with my floppy batwing arms, pimply face, hairy legs, chunky thighs, overly small breasts, crooked teeth, big ass, crow's feet eyes and saggy knees*

In "42"

Does this mean it'll run a Playstation 3 emulator and have some fun game for me to play before it's released. Bah... what good is it then?

In "Mans website lets viewers vote and help decide what to wear to work. "

*nabs offered Cheeto and then feels guilty* Sorry Tracicle

In "GoogleFIGHT"

Even with an expected loss, I'm still scrappy enough to take all of the other 4,647 monkeys on! ...and held pretty well thank you very much!

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