Monkeyfilter

This isn't really a constructed series of points, just observations I've made. I apologize for the rambling and back-and-forthin' in advance. As a teenager whose every major friend over the past 3 years were clinically depressed: Having a teacher think you're depressed (or crazy) makes you really mistrust them and/or get sort of antsy around them unless you're already close. "Yeah, Madame X thinks I'm bonkers." Most teens prefer being ignored when it comes to this, and unless they talk about it first, having you bring it up will provoke a general fuck-you feeling. Even if they snarl at first, they'll probably appreciate it (much, very much) later unless some outside force--parents, therapists, children's aid, etc. get brought in. The whole outside-force thing just makes kids squirm with discomfort and makes them very anxious and makes them feel betrayed. But again, this varies case to case. Some won't ever get over the breach of trust and will feel worse. On the other hand, I know in my district, if you, as a teacher, suspect something, you HAVE to tell. So I'd say drop some hints to the best guidance counsellor at your school to look for them, but don't force them to guidance (unless it's a major problem causing it or they're risking their own safety) as they'll reveal nothing. It's rough, as a bad guidance counsellor can make things infinitely worse. One famously bad example was a girl having her mother tell guidance that her daughter was going through a rough patch etc. etc. Guidance calls her in, says, "Are you cutting?", pulls up her sleeves, grabs her wrists to inspect them, generally treated her like crap. Things can get especially bad if the guidance cousellor Brings in the Parents, which is almost unanimously a Bad Thing. Random Capitalisation. Yay. Getting off of that tangent, generally... I'd say try to gain their trust by being you, and doing things that bring them out of their shells. Trying to force them to talk about their depressive qualities will only push them further inside themselves. So basically, what rhiannon said, with verbminx's individual fun projects, and DEFINITELY listen to scartol. Do not try to deal with it yourself, as much as that sucks to say. If all else fails, and you're trusted and the class feels less like a class and more like a group of people, talk to their friends. If their friends give a rat's ass, and if YOU'RE a sympathetic person who they can trust, they'll do what they can--a teacher who one of my friends confided in recently did that to me, and I actually appreciated it. The key here is gaining the trust, but as a new teacher, you're in a fix. The teacher who did that to me has been teacher for decades and is head of a department, and generally is very accessible to kids (she seems like one of us sometimes, if you add 40 years... she freely tells her embarassing learning-the-language stories in a very easy going tone, makes cool references, etc. etc.). The friends and the student will be more angry if you're not trustworthy enough and you're prying. Good luck. I really don't know what you should do, it's all on a case by case basis...

posted by nona 19 years ago

In "Goodbye Hotmail!"