In "Dreams."

This just took me away for a good half an hour. Mesmerizing music and the art is wonderful...

In "Britney Spears or Tufts freshman, Michael Bendetson?"

LOL mothninja! I thought you thought I was Bendetson! My brain hurts...

Nooooooo! I respect you mothninja! This is unbelievable! I never post anything on any site for fear of looking like a moron. I am not Michael Bendetson, Jim Newell, Moooshy, or Britney Spears. I really thought the photo was of Michael Bendetson! At this moment, I felt strong enough in my powers of observation to post for a second time in a year and a half of enjoying MoFi. It wasn't until after I posted that horror struck me as I realized Britney is now the icon of 15 minutes of fame, which is the reason the photo is funny in relation to that article. Let's just vote on whether or not I get to keep my savvy card.

In "The Stupidest Exercise Machine You'll Ever See."

Holy crap K7! I about peed my pants ROLFing and LOLing over "It would be fun to ride your bike on it." Thanks for the gut giggle homonculus!

In "I am the condom friend ever useful to you!"

Wow. It's a shock to find out that gay people need to use condoms. I'll make sure to put a post on myspace.

In "Where Did All Those Gorgeous Russians Come From?"

Martina Navratilova winked at me while I was waiting on her. True story. This happened only 8 months ago, but who's counting?

In "How does this work?"

The first thing I did was unfocus my eyes. It's like the magic eye book. I actually have perfect vision, but I can't hear anything. I noticed that by unfocusing my vision, it had the same effect as walking 12 feet away- Interesting how we view the world! A little frightening and intriguing how vision, perception, and interpretation can affect one's experience of the world.

In "I CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE HAS YET MENTIONED TODAY'S HOLIDAY:"

THANKS MCT! I WAS UNAWARE OF THAT TOTALLY FUCKING TRUE HISTORY! YOU MUST BE OLD, OR I MUST BE DIM BECAUSE OF THIS TOTALLY TRUE, ABSOLUTELY UNBELIEVEABLE FACT: I HAVE NO IDEA WHO NATHAN HALE IS. ALSO, WHO IS THIS "ELLEN" EVERYONE IS IN AN UPROAR OVER?

In "Look at this dog."

My fucking cat would slay this motherfucking dog- just like she slayed a fucked up looking lizard this morning.

In "I CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE HAS YET MENTIONED TODAY'S HOLIDAY:"

conformists-bah! kamus ConFormIsts! BAHHHHHHHHHHHUMBUGGERY. Caps Lock always does one thing for me at work. IT KEEPS ME FROM LOGGING IN WHILE I'M WORKING A FREAKIN' DEAL. CAPS LOCK SUCKS. I'M CAPS-ING WITH OUT THE LOCK ON. JUST USING SHIFT TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT NOT CONFORMING.

In "Terrorists may be using American cheese to destroy freedom."

I just like good cheese.

I checked before leaving the comment, Hank... It was a png. Don't shoot the massenger.

Mr. Mabuse, I must thank you for your kind png. I have to admit that I am a huge fan of the theatre nachos and creepy cheese from a soda dispenser. That paricular image is now burned into my brain, and I would be happy to dream of the stream of cheese whiz that is but dollars away from the drooling grasp of my medium sized lips. (I think K. Moss may have me there.[Ref. Ellen Degenerate thread.])

In "Ellen DeGeneres dog drama sends America into a spin"

Someone posted a thread recenly about how one of "THE ATHEISTS" basically came out against naming themselves as such. I believe the jist of it was that by calling themselves "Atheists," they were just giving more life to what they are trying to break down. The response to this (The Ellen) post by the squid is tapping into that. It also makes me think of Jon Stewart going on Crossfire. If I came to this site and I was only able to find posts on political strife, war, famine, poverty, and the people who want to throw their two cents in on those topics, I would probably just go buy a TV and pay for cable. Then I could just watch the news instead. As humans, I like to imagine that we are a bunch capable of peace, but I think we need some comic relief to live through it all. We aren't built for constant trauma, and to only discuss the endless trauma of the world would induce a state of tiresome unrest and guilt in many people. I like cats. And I like starting a sentence with a preposition. Also, I like really good cheddar cheese.

In "Sweet Land of Liberty"

If I had a gu-un, I'd shoot it in the mornin', I'd shoot it in the evenin', all over this land. And if I had a gun rack, right next to my be-ed, I'd shootcha in the he-ad, all over this land...

In "RIGHT VS LEFT"

This is a spinning demon woman who has terrified me for almost an hour with her incessant directional changing and tomfoolery. It was counter-clockwise for the first minute, and then it switched, and then it looked like she was just moving the one leg from side to side, and then it just kept yelling "LEFT!!!" NO, RIGHT!" And it devolved into crying follwed by incredible sexy-time.

In "You'd think the original designers would have caught this."

Heheh. Well done TUM!

In "Man Finds Human Leg In Smoker"

Who forgets that they left their leg in a smoker? Police said he would be driving the 35 miles to reclaim his leg. Let's hope our good friend the pirate is driving a speed boat and not a stick shift. Yar.

In "The Spelling bee champ"

I may have mentioned this in an earlier thread: When I was 11 years old, I was the last person standing in the VT state spelling bee championship besides a kid from Braintree. I lost the Bee by spelling Martyr wrong. Ugh. I didn't understand the irony until a few years later.

Homeschooling: not the best way to ensure social graces in children. Cheerleading: not the best way to ensure correct pronunciation in newscasters.

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