Mickey is so right about the box! Among other things, we brought a small cooler to the church, where we dressed. It held water, sodas, and protein bars, and we were glad we had it because some people forgot to eat breakfast (don't do that!) and it was a long time to the reception.
Also, may I suggest that there is nothing glamorous about a drunken bride (or groom, or wedding party, for that matter). All things in moderation, monkeys.
Same goes for smoking - nothing glamorous about a woman in a gorgeous wedding dress smoking. If you smoke, try not to do so in front of your guests. IMHO.
Congratulations!
A few things that I've learned from being in / attending weddings over the years;
As suggested above, let the bridesmaids work out the dresses. That way they can set the budget they are all comfortable with without hurting your feelings.
NO ONE will remember whether or not your bridesmaids wore matching shoes, EXCEPT for the pissed off bridesmaids who had to pay for them (via my cousin who was forced to buy $150 platforms, even though she is 5'10" and has no business on God's green Earth wearing platform shoes).
Same goes for most of the details; get the look you want, but don't be too fussy about it - no one will remember the teeny details that you woke your fiance up at 2am fretting over.
EXCEPTION: The photographer. These are the photos you will be looking at and sending out, don't save on your budget by scimping on the photographer. Interview several photographers, or better yet ask one or two people in your wedding party to interview several and give you their top three suggestions. This way you will get a good idea of what the differences are in terms of what you will get for what price.
If you are looking over a photographer's sample books and you see all the same poses (esp. if taken at the same venue!) walk away and don't look back. That person is doing it by the numbers and you won't get anything personalized or reflective of you and your fiance's personalities.
Second the suggestion above that your contract include that you own the negatives. Not only do you control reprints, but I've known two cases where the photographer moved his business - one could no longer be located, and the other lost the couple's negatives in the move.
Finally, based on an article I read years ago, suggest you tell the place where you get your dress that your wedding date is actually a few days before the actual date. Reason being that legally the dress shop must provide the dress before the wedding, even if that means (as in the case of the article I read) that it is ready 35 minutes before the wedding, which is taking place two hours away. The bride lost the lawsuit on that one, because *technically* the dress was ready before the wedding. Oh, that's US law, by the way.
Don't worry, these are cautionary tales but hardly ever happen. Just be proactive about it all.
On preview and ref to path: A lot of times people like to say that a wedding is about the bride. Sorry, but that is simply not true. As path said, it is a celebration of two families coming together. It is your wedding, but be kind and give in to something your M-I-L wants. Or better yet, ASK her to have a special role (our mothers walked down the aisle together, up to the alter, and lit the side candles that we used to light the unity candle, before being seated). It's your day, but it belongs to others as well.
middleclasstool, I'm sorry but I have to take issue with what you said about placing a two-week hold on the check.
Round about the time that this incident happened, I was a bank teller. The laws at that time (can't comment about now) were that a bank could place up to a three-day hold on any check not drawn on the bank that it was being deposited at, and that they could place a one-day hold on a check drawn on the same bank. I believe there was also a provision to allow a one-week hold on out of state checks, not drawn on the same bank. They were only allowed to hold amounts greater than the amount already in the account, or in the case of some banks with better customer service, an amount greater than the customer's combined balance from all accounts.
I agree with you though about the teller and the proofer. Between the two of them, they should have caught this hands-down.
Reminds me simultaneously of two movies: Reality Bites (Janeane Garofalo's character), and Truth or Dare, where Warren Beatty asks Madonna "does everything you do have to be on-camera?"
Number between 1 and 10, 10 being the highest, that reflects on how much I care about this: -40.
I used to believe that bands lined up at the radio station, and each took turns playing their song, live.
When I was really little, like about 3 or 4, I remember thinking that if someone touched a sore spot, they could feel the pain too. I tested this theory with my dad when I had a scab on my knee, encouraging him to poke at it. When he did, I said "See, doesn't that hurt?".
Boo, it's very likely that your neighbors aren't so much disturbed, as just unaware of how to get their dogs to stop barking. Maybe they never owned dogs before, maybe they are the sort of folks who don't believe that "lower" forms of animals can have feelings such as separation anxiety.
From your post it doesn't sound so much like they were saying that the dogs weren't theirs, as they were trying to get you to believe that it wasn't their dogs that were barking. Consider, if they aren't too wacked out, of asking them to come over to your home for a minute when the dogs are barking, escorting them to the room from which they can see them barking, and presenting the irrefutable proof. Then talk to them about different ways they can solve this problem. Let them know that it's important to you because of the burden it presents (can't sleep, can't work - are they at all aware of your daytime schedule, or do they think that you are not home when they are not home?)
Honestly, there's no need for bad blood here. Most folks are just too embarrassed to admit when they don't know how to solve a problem, and end up making it worse by not admitting it.
So many problems could be solved if folks would just talk honestly with one another.
That all being said, if they don't take your suggestions or if it continues to be a problem, let them know that you will have to report the problem, and then do so. As said above, no need to be a doormat here.
Mickey is so right about the box! Among other things, we brought a small cooler to the church, where we dressed. It held water, sodas, and protein bars, and we were glad we had it because some people forgot to eat breakfast (don't do that!) and it was a long time to the reception. Also, may I suggest that there is nothing glamorous about a drunken bride (or groom, or wedding party, for that matter). All things in moderation, monkeys. Same goes for smoking - nothing glamorous about a woman in a gorgeous wedding dress smoking. If you smoke, try not to do so in front of your guests. IMHO.
posted by longtimelistener 20 years ago
Congratulations! A few things that I've learned from being in / attending weddings over the years; As suggested above, let the bridesmaids work out the dresses. That way they can set the budget they are all comfortable with without hurting your feelings. NO ONE will remember whether or not your bridesmaids wore matching shoes, EXCEPT for the pissed off bridesmaids who had to pay for them (via my cousin who was forced to buy $150 platforms, even though she is 5'10" and has no business on God's green Earth wearing platform shoes). Same goes for most of the details; get the look you want, but don't be too fussy about it - no one will remember the teeny details that you woke your fiance up at 2am fretting over. EXCEPTION: The photographer. These are the photos you will be looking at and sending out, don't save on your budget by scimping on the photographer. Interview several photographers, or better yet ask one or two people in your wedding party to interview several and give you their top three suggestions. This way you will get a good idea of what the differences are in terms of what you will get for what price. If you are looking over a photographer's sample books and you see all the same poses (esp. if taken at the same venue!) walk away and don't look back. That person is doing it by the numbers and you won't get anything personalized or reflective of you and your fiance's personalities. Second the suggestion above that your contract include that you own the negatives. Not only do you control reprints, but I've known two cases where the photographer moved his business - one could no longer be located, and the other lost the couple's negatives in the move. Finally, based on an article I read years ago, suggest you tell the place where you get your dress that your wedding date is actually a few days before the actual date. Reason being that legally the dress shop must provide the dress before the wedding, even if that means (as in the case of the article I read) that it is ready 35 minutes before the wedding, which is taking place two hours away. The bride lost the lawsuit on that one, because *technically* the dress was ready before the wedding. Oh, that's US law, by the way. Don't worry, these are cautionary tales but hardly ever happen. Just be proactive about it all. On preview and ref to path: A lot of times people like to say that a wedding is about the bride. Sorry, but that is simply not true. As path said, it is a celebration of two families coming together. It is your wedding, but be kind and give in to something your M-I-L wants. Or better yet, ASK her to have a special role (our mothers walked down the aisle together, up to the alter, and lit the side candles that we used to light the unity candle, before being seated). It's your day, but it belongs to others as well.
posted by longtimelistener 20 years ago
In ""
Good thread - ambrosia, I was just wondering about you on my way home last night - true story. Glad to hear that you're feeling safe.
posted by longtimelistener 20 years ago
In "He deposited a junk mail check for $95k -- it cashed! The rest is apparently history."
middleclasstool, I'm sorry but I have to take issue with what you said about placing a two-week hold on the check. Round about the time that this incident happened, I was a bank teller. The laws at that time (can't comment about now) were that a bank could place up to a three-day hold on any check not drawn on the bank that it was being deposited at, and that they could place a one-day hold on a check drawn on the same bank. I believe there was also a provision to allow a one-week hold on out of state checks, not drawn on the same bank. They were only allowed to hold amounts greater than the amount already in the account, or in the case of some banks with better customer service, an amount greater than the customer's combined balance from all accounts. I agree with you though about the teller and the proofer. Between the two of them, they should have caught this hands-down.
posted by longtimelistener 20 years ago
In "Hilarious joke but the rest is depressing and sadly coming true."
"But you fuck one goat..."
posted by longtimelistener 20 years ago
In "So is keeping track of lovers a worth while exercise?"
Reminds me simultaneously of two movies: Reality Bites (Janeane Garofalo's character), and Truth or Dare, where Warren Beatty asks Madonna "does everything you do have to be on-camera?" Number between 1 and 10, 10 being the highest, that reflects on how much I care about this: -40.
posted by longtimelistener 20 years ago
In "A collection of ideas that adults thought were true when they were children."
I used to believe that bands lined up at the radio station, and each took turns playing their song, live. When I was really little, like about 3 or 4, I remember thinking that if someone touched a sore spot, they could feel the pain too. I tested this theory with my dad when I had a scab on my knee, encouraging him to poke at it. When he did, I said "See, doesn't that hurt?".
posted by longtimelistener 20 years ago
In "Curious George : Damn Dog will not Shut Up."
Boo, it's very likely that your neighbors aren't so much disturbed, as just unaware of how to get their dogs to stop barking. Maybe they never owned dogs before, maybe they are the sort of folks who don't believe that "lower" forms of animals can have feelings such as separation anxiety. From your post it doesn't sound so much like they were saying that the dogs weren't theirs, as they were trying to get you to believe that it wasn't their dogs that were barking. Consider, if they aren't too wacked out, of asking them to come over to your home for a minute when the dogs are barking, escorting them to the room from which they can see them barking, and presenting the irrefutable proof. Then talk to them about different ways they can solve this problem. Let them know that it's important to you because of the burden it presents (can't sleep, can't work - are they at all aware of your daytime schedule, or do they think that you are not home when they are not home?) Honestly, there's no need for bad blood here. Most folks are just too embarrassed to admit when they don't know how to solve a problem, and end up making it worse by not admitting it. So many problems could be solved if folks would just talk honestly with one another. That all being said, if they don't take your suggestions or if it continues to be a problem, let them know that you will have to report the problem, and then do so. As said above, no need to be a doormat here.
posted by longtimelistener 20 years ago
In ""
eurocircle.com
posted by longtimelistener 20 years ago
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