In "Some handy tips on how not to argue online."

Clearly, none of you has any clue what you're talking about. LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND: The trees will whisper your name. Love and be loved by Kifflom. And if you don't like that, you can stick it up your @$$~!

In "Anonymous George: Transgendered, Can't Find Work"

I'm sorry, I don't have any ideas for you except that left-leaning jobs would work out much better than traditional, corporate ones. If you're near a university, that might also be an option. Good luck and know that many monkeys here will keep you in their thoughts. Please let us know how you're doing. (((MONKEY HUGS)))

In "Make the perfect poo."

OMG. I got the perfect poo two times in a row. Let's just say this and get it over with: I am to poo what Chuck Norris is to the roundhouse kick. Perfection. Thank you, gods of the internets, for bringing this to us.

In "Sweet, sweet tiger justice."

I guess this is why "Les Mis" was set in France and not South Africa, right?

In "Black and white is the only logical choice, Captain."

Mr. Nimoy had a book signing at the American Book Association's big conference a few years ago. I was first in line and got to meet him. He was amazingly, astoundingly tall. His voice is just as gravely basso as you would expect. He autographed his book and I felt like I'd met the most impressive member of the original star trek cast! It was quite an experience.

In "Face transplant."

Skrik, I can think of plenty of my students who are qualified donors, also! :)

In ""a mixture of 17th century Scotland and 20th Century Fox""

This is an amazing house. Plan to spend at least two hours here, if you're in Toronto. The house is simply amazing. I'd suggest self-catering (taking a picnic) to eat on the grounds if you're there in good weather. I went during (U.S.) Thanksgiving and the crowds were very light.

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