In "M.O.N.K.E.Y. No. SE7EN"

Sausage? Always undercooked, sausage actually grows e. coli.

Sorting underwear guarantees another ribald monkey isn't likely killing time entertaining apes.

In "Stop at Red"

This group's original idea was for a website called www.stophatred.org, but once they realized the scope of their undertaking, they agreed that stopatred.org might be an easier undertaking.

In "2006 Roll Call:"

91. *cough*

In "Are you a Grup?"

Every time Death Cab plays, a baby emo cries.

Ugh, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act my age anymore.

In "Google Poetry"

avian flu, chickens, disease, deaths. ... Bird flu is an infection caused by avian influenza viruses.

In "Mail Order Husbands."

Please tell me this is a joke.

Surely this has got to be a joke...

In "Dedicated to the art of parking."

Speaking of Parking.

In "Margaret Cho busts a rhyme with Wayne Brady"

Who is Wayne Brady? I only remember 6 Brady kids.

In "I really CAN'T go home again."

First of all, my thoughts are with you. I used to spend summers in NOLA with my friend's grandparents. I still can't get my little monkey brain around all the devastation and hardship the Gulf Coast is facing. Wow. Didn't know I had so many fellow Monkeys in Seattle. Especially techy gay ones! So most of my sentiments in choosing Seattle have been echoed by previous posts. After looking at Austin, Portland, Seattle, and DC, I chose Seattle because that's where a lot of my friends from High School had ended up. Moving to Seattle with a social network in place made things much easier. But I've found Seattleites to be very friendly. Maybe it's my charming Southern social graces... Just don't expect people to smile and offer a hello on the street as you walk by. However, once they can contextualize you and recognize you from someplace (the grocery store, a neighbor's party, the workplace) they are very friendly. Having moved from a place with zero public transportation (Raleigh/Durham) I can only rave about the public transit in Seattle. It's not NYC, Boston or DC though. Of course in a few weeks they're closing the bus tunnels downtown to retrofit tracks for light rail. I live in town and my commute to work is less than 2 miles. The bus goes most places I need to get, and for other things there is always Flexcar. Being gay is a non-issue in this area, as it should be. There are the typical gay clubs, but most of the really interesting places are mixed. As for smokables, I don't have any first hand experience, but I know that SPD has made marijuana enforcement it's last priority. What this means is that you will get busted for jaywalking before possession. The negatives are pretty severe though. The tech industry is recovering here, but still lagging behind most of the rest of the country. The housing market is expensive. It's always overcast. We have large homeless, drug addict, and street kid populations, mostly due to indifference. We're great at ignoring problems, hoping they'll go away. We're bursting at the seams in population, and there is a lot of tension between us and the very conservative eastern regions of the state. I'd suggest a weeklong visit in Jan or Feb though, just to make sure you can tolerate the dark and the dampness. There's also a lot of tension between the very laid back attitudes of long-time residents, and more recent yuppie and bourgeois-bohemian transplants. We're secretly hoping an earthquake will wipe them all out. I'd say your options are wide open. I've visited many of the other cities Monkey's have suggested and enjoyed every one of them. I think a vast, continental road trip is in order!

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