In "Curious Ramblin' George: help name my rocketship"

If you do decide to use Millennium Futon, be careful to spell it correctly. Unlike me.

In "I miss Monica"

Again?

In "Curious Ramblin' George: help name my rocketship"

The Milennium Futon

In "Pump your own gas? Not in NJ"

Capt. Renault, you can usually wedge your gas cap into the pump handle so it holds the handle "squeezed". Stay with it the first couple of times to make sure the pump stops when your tank's full. It always has for me, unlike one memorable time the full-service nozzle fell out and kept pumping all over the ground. At least islander - the attendant wasn't smoking that time.

In "Dedicated to the art of parking."

These clowns actually want to take credit for inventing back-in parking, just because they came up with a lame name for it? Feh.

In "An 8th grader discovers a camera in the boys' room of his school in Jasper County, GA. "

someone else explain to me what prevented this kid from calling his Dad/Mom and saying "Come on down and look at this." OK, I will. If I were to walk into my son's school and proceed to the boy's room, I would have the cops on me before I had a chance to examine the ceiling for cameras. Parents have to check in at the office before going anywhere else during school hours. someone show me where the end justifies the means (Correcting an infringement of rights through theft) in a case like this. I'll do that too, right after you show me where the end of preventing vandalism justifies the means of violating the kids' right to privacy. Oh, and when you find that camera I put in your bathroom at work, Bob, please leave it alone.

In "A bench by Tiananmen Square"

Oh, yeah. The manhole covers are another clue. The first time I went to the square, the bigwigs were using it as a parking lot for their Benzes and Jeeps while they communed in the Great Hall of the People. Policemen lined the square, to keep the Other People from approaching the Great Cars.

that would be right in front of Tiananmen itself, right? I think it's across the street, in front of the wall of the Forbidden City. You know, by the main gate under Mao's picture?

In "When did you stop beating your wife?"

I wonder if we can retire the unpronounceable "USAians" in favor of something people can actually say, like maybe "USicans". Or maybe we can go back to "Americans" and never mind that the rest of the hemisphere might feel slighted. This doesn't have anything to do with liberals, btw.

In "Curious George: Mold Removal"

Don't use straight bleach in a spray bottle; it's too caustic that way, and you'll wind up breathing it. Mix one part of bleach with two parts of water.

See if you can get an opinion from the local Board of Health. Be sure they are aware of the carpet, the mildew and the lack of a fan. If you can get it in writing, that might give you more leverage with the owner. Carpet in bathrooms is one of those astoundingly stupid ideas that should have disappeared long ago.

In "Are you a Politician?"

eddybennet, the same idea occurrred to me. Unfortunately, the error is not a constant. the cycle of day and night determined by the Earth's rotation, which is slowing by about two milliseconds per day. So you can recalibrate everything today, but tomorrow, there would be another two-millisecond error. What we need are clocks that automatically slow down by two milliseconds a day.

From the article: Some also fear that the daily cycle would drift out of sync with clock time, turning day into night. Day is when the sun is up, and night is when it is down. Time as measured by clocks, atomic or otherwise, has no effect on the Earth's rotation. Hours, minutes, and seconds are arbitrary constructions. How many leap-seconds can you fit on the head of a pin?

In "Global warming 'past the point of no return'"

It would do for water what OPEC did for oil. Push us towards responsibility. That happened? One word: Hummer.

In "Lyons & Co., an Electronic History"

Lyons even had the first business computer evar! Then it was gone. Coincidence?

In "Absurd.org."

I looked at it, but I did not rool on the floor. I was looking forward to that.

In "Meet"

I like the way they call it the 'P38', so it sounds like some cool piece of millitary hardware. Well, it is a piece of military hardware,issued with C-rations.

In "I don't love Lucy. I find her a little cold."

I didn't love Lucy when she was warm. Go ahead, use her up. Oh, and I don't love Raymond, either.

In "How to Reinstall Windows Without Losing Your Data"

I love this Freudian slip from the second link: . . . Microsoft is the target for a large percentage of the piracy due to their dominance in the operating system and office productivity software markets. They have a right to try to stop or at least control that privacy . . .

In "Passenger exposes himself on commuter flight."

It's time for us to make up and sing a song together. How about that old Chuck Berry favorite, My Ding-a-Ling?

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