In "MASSAGE:"

30) Pestle

Tie to head, wear as ponytail.

In "Stolen Bikes."

Most important of all: be smart about where & when you lock your bike. Never lock it somewhere without sidewalks and streetlights, and never ever leave it overnight. And use a condom.

In "I'm a vegetarian, but I do eat roadkill,"

nonbinary: Agreed all the way.

Hey now, don't knock dumpstering if ya haven't tried it -- there's a lot of perfectly safe packaged stuff in there! Just don't dumpster your pussy.

In "Woman sues dairy industry"

(Where the two groups' diets are otherwise equivalent.)

Claim: Consuming dairy products helps with weight loss when coupled with calorie restriction. The claim is true if and only if, out of a sample of people who restrict calories equally, the dairy-consuming group looses a significantly greater amount of weight than the group that does not consume dairy.

In "Curious George: Lost! (Not the show.)"

A friend of mine had her car stolen after the thief found a set of keys in the library, then went outside and pushed the remote's unlock button until a car responded. Got in car, drove away.

(limited to the most recent 20 comments)