My last job was at a company that made a "consciousness monitor" for anesthesiologists. (I was the IT guy, so I didn't have much to do with the device itself) I gather it was basically a device to measure a combination of brainwave activity along with a few other vital stats like oxygen saturation and heart rate. The company had been bought up by a Big Pharma conglom that wanted to use the device in conjunction with their newest anesthesia medication; once they had all the appropriate IP, they closed us down.
It is a common baseball prank to give someone a cream pie in the face during a TV interview. Where do these cream pies come from? Do baseball teams keep cream pies in the dugout?
Yes, right next to the seltzer bottles and rubber chickens.
Why do all of the deli guys and food cart guys call me "Boss" (well, me and everyone else)?
Beats me, Chief.
Who made up the rule that if you wore a shirt all day, went home, and washed it, you can't wear it the next day?
*I* did, and you do NOT want to fuck with me, mister. Now go put on a clean shirt.
There, I have done my duty for the year.
Is anybody else a little bugged about the "this is India's 9/11" meme?
Seems to me that bombings, shootings, and other terrorist acts are not rare in India and that this is far from the worst of them. But because rich white Americans and Britons are the apparent targets, suddenly this particular attack is More Important than when those brown people are killed by the dozens.
I bought one for my wife for Christmas last year, and she loved it so much that she bought one each for me and our daughter.
When I put mine on, I like to put the top over my head and pretend that I am Obi-Wan Kenobi.
SHUT UP!
I'm with Mark Twain's "reports of my death are premature" on the imminent demise of the Republican Party, or even a permanent schism.
The two-year cycle of Congressional elections really hampers any sort of meaningful change at the national level. They are barely through one election before they have to get ready for the next. Consequently, party change happens at the bottom, not at the top. The religious conservatives began their grassroots efforts in the GOP after Nixon's resignation and did not see any national-level results until 1994, even though their influence began to play an important role in presidential politics as early as 1980.
For the Republicans to really make progress, it will take a similar 20-25 years, carefully weeding out those same fundies and replacing them with traditional Republicans at the lowest levels of electoral office, then eventually nursing them at the Congressional level.
I, for one, do not believe that the Democrats have turned the direction of the country around or any such thing. They are the beneficiaries of a backlash. They've barely begun to rebuild their base. That leaves them vulnerable to sudden star-of-the-moment candidates like Palin (though probably not her specifically) in 2012, or (more likely) the fickle temperament of the 30% of voters who are not party regulars and swing from one side to the next with each election.
In more important news, my cat barfed on the living room floor today. Sources close to the cat say the barfing is in response to a new type of kibble he really doesn't like much.
I need this guy as a Great Engineer in Civ IV.
posted by briank 14 years ago
In "Could a Dose of Ether Contain the Secret to Consciousness?"
My last job was at a company that made a "consciousness monitor" for anesthesiologists. (I was the IT guy, so I didn't have much to do with the device itself) I gather it was basically a device to measure a combination of brainwave activity along with a few other vital stats like oxygen saturation and heart rate. The company had been bought up by a Big Pharma conglom that wanted to use the device in conjunction with their newest anesthesia medication; once they had all the appropriate IP, they closed us down.
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "NASA Detects Mystery Booming Sound In Deep Space, Origin Unknown."
Sorry, had the chili again...
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "How would you feel about a half-human half-chimp hybrid?"
Oliver The Humanzee He drank Seven-and-Sevens, which is an obvious sign that he wasn't fully human.
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "Burglar scared off by man dressed as Thor"
[reinsert "You're thor?" joke here]
posted by briank 15 years ago
You're Thor? Mithter, I was tho thore I couldn't thit down for a week!
posted by briank 15 years ago
In ""Many people seem to think they can make any boring name sound more attractive just by adding the word 'monkey' to it.""
And they would be correct.
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "Fuck You, Penguin."
Let's Talk Dirty To The Animals
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "Once again,"
It is a common baseball prank to give someone a cream pie in the face during a TV interview. Where do these cream pies come from? Do baseball teams keep cream pies in the dugout? Yes, right next to the seltzer bottles and rubber chickens. Why do all of the deli guys and food cart guys call me "Boss" (well, me and everyone else)? Beats me, Chief. Who made up the rule that if you wore a shirt all day, went home, and washed it, you can't wear it the next day? *I* did, and you do NOT want to fuck with me, mister. Now go put on a clean shirt. There, I have done my duty for the year.
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "MonkeyFilter redo"
::flings one last pawful of monkey poo for old times sake, then sighs and retreats to corner for more furious masturbating::
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "Top ten self surgeries "
Gah! Hey, you were right!
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "Mystery jelly engulfs Scotland"
It's all that was left of the Blancmange From Outer Space
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "Mumbai under attack."
Is anybody else a little bugged about the "this is India's 9/11" meme? Seems to me that bombings, shootings, and other terrorist acts are not rare in India and that this is far from the worst of them. But because rich white Americans and Britons are the apparent targets, suddenly this particular attack is More Important than when those brown people are killed by the dozens.
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "The Slanket"
I bought one for my wife for Christmas last year, and she loved it so much that she bought one each for me and our daughter. When I put mine on, I like to put the top over my head and pretend that I am Obi-Wan Kenobi. SHUT UP!
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "British
NaziNational Party membership posted online."Ooh, there's that nice Mr. Bitler who lives down the road! Yoo-hoo!
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "Rebuild the Party:"
I'm with Mark Twain's "reports of my death are premature" on the imminent demise of the Republican Party, or even a permanent schism. The two-year cycle of Congressional elections really hampers any sort of meaningful change at the national level. They are barely through one election before they have to get ready for the next. Consequently, party change happens at the bottom, not at the top. The religious conservatives began their grassroots efforts in the GOP after Nixon's resignation and did not see any national-level results until 1994, even though their influence began to play an important role in presidential politics as early as 1980. For the Republicans to really make progress, it will take a similar 20-25 years, carefully weeding out those same fundies and replacing them with traditional Republicans at the lowest levels of electoral office, then eventually nursing them at the Congressional level. I, for one, do not believe that the Democrats have turned the direction of the country around or any such thing. They are the beneficiaries of a backlash. They've barely begun to rebuild their base. That leaves them vulnerable to sudden star-of-the-moment candidates like Palin (though probably not her specifically) in 2012, or (more likely) the fickle temperament of the 30% of voters who are not party regulars and swing from one side to the next with each election.
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "Ben-Hur Live! "
Ben-Hur was a huge Broadway production at the turn of the 20th century, complete with live horses on stage running on a treadmill to simulate the chariot race.
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "If Mos Def Were President,"
I fail to see the downside of that approach, MCT
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "And you can ****ing well keep her."
In more important news, my cat barfed on the living room floor today. Sources close to the cat say the barfing is in response to a new type of kibble he really doesn't like much.
posted by briank 15 years ago
In "Missing: Mister Rogers' shoe."
I learned how to tie my shoes from watching Mister Rogers.
posted by briank 15 years ago
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