Bah. Ignore the naysayers. I am surrounded by people who are making long-distance relationships work. It isn't easy but it is possible. Some more relevant thoughts:
* Make long-term plans. Being apart is doable so long as you have a plan for how the separation will be resolved eventually.
* Visit when you can and try to involve yourself in your partner's life as much as possible. Meet her new friends, go to her new places. And make the effort to ask about them on the phone.
* Of course, visiting can be weird too -- I always feel intruded upon and irritable for the first day or so after being alone for a while.
After two transatlantic years, my advice is:
* First, forget about the price of the phone calls. If you worry about it, you're doomed. However painful the expense, it will be worth it.
* Now, be spontaneous about calling. Every time you feel the urge to call, do it. It's hard to have a good conversation under these circumstances, so you have to seize every opportunity. Try to arrange things so there isn't an obligation to call every X days at Y o'clock.
* It's OK to call to say something exciting, or to complain about something. But don't call when you have nothing to say. You'll end up saying nothing or arguing.
* But don't let your overall frequency of calling dwindle. Really, every time you feel the urge, call.
* Find time to talk about really dumb stuff, the kind of stupid boring stuff people actually talk about when they're living together. Like the annoying person on the bus who talked too loud. Especially, all the stuff that affects how you feel, even if it's trivial. Your partner will care.
* Make sure you feel able to put the phone down when there's nothing to say. Call back 2 minutes later if you think of something. Long pauses are awkward, but getting a second call straight away is fun!
* SEND GIFTS! There's nothing more exciting than a gift from your partner far away. They don't have to be expensive. Send lots of tiny gifts often.
[* I know you don't want to hear this, but get your partner to try IM. It really helps with the slience problen, and it's really hard to start an argument over IM.]
Seems it's only for the élite:
This site will only function correctly with the Internet Explorer browser v4+. Please reload the site in the appropriate browser. Alternatively, you will be re-directed to the Site Map, where it is possible to navigate the site using Netscape browsers.
dng: I got the Loch Ness direct hit too. But I think my logic was impeccable: the two questions are not comparable.
In the case of the Loch Ness monster, there are plenty of good ways to attempt to determine whether it exists (sit by loch watching, sonar...) Many such monster-finding methods have been tried, but no positive evidence has been accrued. So I don't believe in the monster.
In the case of God, we have no idea how to start determining whether it's real (sitting on Mt Sinai watching and the SETI project don't cut it, in my view). So, in this case, the reason why no evidence has been accrued is that no good experiments have been done. This doesn't mean that if someone thought up, and carried out, a good God-finding experiment, it wouldn't come out positive. It might do; I don't know. So I'm agnostic about God.
[Though why I would want to debate with a website that thinks that personal belief structures can be marked like a school exam, I'll never know.]
hmm... now i'm confused.
for me, if the image is attached (i.e. there's a mime attachment with a .gif or something in it), i see the image. but, if there's just an [a href=...] link to a gif on some server, i just get a broken image link.
i think that means i'm safe from the evil spammers tracking me -- presumably it's the second kind of image that's used for tracking. am i wrong?
Someone in this thread will mention polar bears. Although it may seem suspicious, these people are harmless. They mean well. The polar bear version of the game is the same, and it's fun too.
But beware of the fish people! They seek to ruin your fun! The fish version of the game is annoying and silly and if you spend even so much as one minute thinking about it, you will regret it.
If anyone mentions fish, keep calm, and walk on by.
Alternative explanation: I guess that the new 20s have a piece of metal wire in them to make forgery more difficult, like notes from many other countries, e.g: www.bundesbank.de. This could become magnetised in a rich variety of ways.
I would also bet that the store anti-theft scanner uses a magnetic system, like many store scanners: howstuffworks.com
So the scanner was triggered by a magnetic effect from the security threads, and we all know what happens when you put metal in the microwave...
... and no sinister government RFID tracking in sight.
[Disclaimer: I haven't actually looked at a 20 to verify this]
Bah. Ignore the naysayers. I am surrounded by people who are making long-distance relationships work. It isn't easy but it is possible. Some more relevant thoughts: * Make long-term plans. Being apart is doable so long as you have a plan for how the separation will be resolved eventually. * Visit when you can and try to involve yourself in your partner's life as much as possible. Meet her new friends, go to her new places. And make the effort to ask about them on the phone. * Of course, visiting can be weird too -- I always feel intruded upon and irritable for the first day or so after being alone for a while.
posted by beniamino 19 years ago
After two transatlantic years, my advice is: * First, forget about the price of the phone calls. If you worry about it, you're doomed. However painful the expense, it will be worth it. * Now, be spontaneous about calling. Every time you feel the urge to call, do it. It's hard to have a good conversation under these circumstances, so you have to seize every opportunity. Try to arrange things so there isn't an obligation to call every X days at Y o'clock. * It's OK to call to say something exciting, or to complain about something. But don't call when you have nothing to say. You'll end up saying nothing or arguing. * But don't let your overall frequency of calling dwindle. Really, every time you feel the urge, call. * Find time to talk about really dumb stuff, the kind of stupid boring stuff people actually talk about when they're living together. Like the annoying person on the bus who talked too loud. Especially, all the stuff that affects how you feel, even if it's trivial. Your partner will care. * Make sure you feel able to put the phone down when there's nothing to say. Call back 2 minutes later if you think of something. Long pauses are awkward, but getting a second call straight away is fun! * SEND GIFTS! There's nothing more exciting than a gift from your partner far away. They don't have to be expensive. Send lots of tiny gifts often. [* I know you don't want to hear this, but get your partner to try IM. It really helps with the slience problen, and it's really hard to start an argument over IM.]
posted by beniamino 19 years ago
In "The Avengers (Illustrated)"
Seems it's only for the élite: This site will only function correctly with the Internet Explorer browser v4+. Please reload the site in the appropriate browser. Alternatively, you will be re-directed to the Site Map, where it is possible to navigate the site using Netscape browsers.
posted by beniamino 19 years ago
In "Guys, you can thank me later."
Suicide is so empowering, dontcha think?
posted by beniamino 19 years ago
In "Smell it, buy it"
Lush cosmetics -- eye-burning, gag-reflexing over-the-top fruit-soap-esque poison vapour.
posted by beniamino 19 years ago
In "The God Game"
dng: I got the Loch Ness direct hit too. But I think my logic was impeccable: the two questions are not comparable. In the case of the Loch Ness monster, there are plenty of good ways to attempt to determine whether it exists (sit by loch watching, sonar...) Many such monster-finding methods have been tried, but no positive evidence has been accrued. So I don't believe in the monster. In the case of God, we have no idea how to start determining whether it's real (sitting on Mt Sinai watching and the SETI project don't cut it, in my view). So, in this case, the reason why no evidence has been accrued is that no good experiments have been done. This doesn't mean that if someone thought up, and carried out, a good God-finding experiment, it wouldn't come out positive. It might do; I don't know. So I'm agnostic about God. [Though why I would want to debate with a website that thinks that personal belief structures can be marked like a school exam, I'll never know.]
posted by beniamino 20 years ago
In "Gmail or Gawab mail?"
hmm... now i'm confused. for me, if the image is attached (i.e. there's a mime attachment with a .gif or something in it), i see the image. but, if there's just an [a href=...] link to a gif on some server, i just get a broken image link. i think that means i'm safe from the evil spammers tracking me -- presumably it's the second kind of image that's used for tracking. am i wrong?
posted by beniamino 20 years ago
skrik: external images aren't displayed by default on gmail. perhaps they fixed it since you last looked?
posted by beniamino 20 years ago
In "Petals around the rose."
Someone in this thread will mention polar bears. Although it may seem suspicious, these people are harmless. They mean well. The polar bear version of the game is the same, and it's fun too. But beware of the fish people! They seek to ruin your fun! The fish version of the game is annoying and silly and if you spend even so much as one minute thinking about it, you will regret it. If anyone mentions fish, keep calm, and walk on by.
posted by beniamino 20 years ago
In "Men with breasts."
Monkeyfilter: For when Fark seems 'too grown-up' What a mean-spirited and exploitative FPP.
posted by beniamino 20 years ago
In "A New Game from An Old Favourite"
It's fun, but it's also a less-imaginative ripoff of the very trippy Loop.
posted by beniamino 20 years ago
In "RFID in your wallet."
Alternative explanation: I guess that the new 20s have a piece of metal wire in them to make forgery more difficult, like notes from many other countries, e.g: www.bundesbank.de. This could become magnetised in a rich variety of ways. I would also bet that the store anti-theft scanner uses a magnetic system, like many store scanners: howstuffworks.com So the scanner was triggered by a magnetic effect from the security threads, and we all know what happens when you put metal in the microwave... ... and no sinister government RFID tracking in sight. [Disclaimer: I haven't actually looked at a 20 to verify this]
posted by beniamino 20 years ago
In "Curious George: Screen shots?"
Hit Print Screen four times in quick succession. That'll do it.
posted by beniamino 20 years ago
(limited to the most recent 20 comments)