In ""

hey badonkadonk, you should submit your picture! it sounds very american. let's see what happens. Apparently that particular photo makes her "look fat" so we're submitting a similar one. No flag but it does show us standing in front of a sign which reads, "Lick Bush." I hope they get the political reference.

In "Excuse me, but didn't your cat die?"

Iguanas? You people are qwazy.

If science would only stop whoring itself to the ignora....eh forget it.

In ""

I can't imagine ever visiting the site again as it's as dull as dishwater but it's only a year old so perhaps it'll become interesting over time. I think I'll offer them a photo of me and my Latina girlfriend kissing in front of Old Glory during this year's gay pride march. It's so American.

In ""Catcher in the Rye" is catching heat - again"

"I guess one person can make a difference, but most of the time, they probably shouldn't." -Marge Simpson

In "Bush Monkey Picture"

I thought it was Ralph Malph who grew increasingly stupid?

In "Stupendous George..."

Woodchipper? In NYC? Bathtubs and meat cleavers are the tradition here. oh but i've said too much. ;)

In "Care to try your hand at a caption for this picture?"

Yep, the ghost of elections past.

Secret Service Man #1 -"Can you believe we've gotta take a bullet for this guy?" Secret Service Man #2 -"I don't know about you but at the first sign of trouble, I'm ducking."

In "Stupendous George..."

Not too bad a year. Deleted a few people from my life who were drains on my time and energy. Became an aunt. Won a huge settlement. Set up a college fund for nephew. Nope, not a bad year at all. Here's hoping next year is terrific for everyone. Well, not everyone. I mean, shitty people don't count. Alright, here's hoping next year is terrific for everyone on MonkeyFilter. Wait, some of you suck. Ok, Ok, here's hoping next year is terrific for everyone who contributes to this thread. Yeah, that's it.

In "Curious George: Tech Problem"

I see you're using SBC. Are you on the "384 plan" or the 1500? The former is slow as hell. You may find a fix here.

In "Puppet Porn"

I got sanded.

In "The Mood Cross."

Wow, look it's Jesus! Aw, now he's gone. Wow, look it's Jesus! Aw, now he's gone.

In "Inquisitive Imp: Pornography Club."

Caligula? Tame, very tame. Try Pasolini's SALO for a truly rocking sick time. Come for the sex, stay for the Circle of Shit!

In "Can't be Gay in the Military...."

What's all this "ordering cock sucking" talk? Somebody opening a restaurant?

In "Santa Claus"

I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause underneath the mistletoe last night. I think she's an accomplice.

In "People who Probably Need a Cock Punch."

Good to see Dr. Phil made the list. Let the punching begin!

In "The Paradox of Language"

Am I to understand besides all our downfalls?

In "Curious George: Whats the stoopedest theeng yoov evar don?"

Warrior, it's weird because at the time it was happening and for months after, I didn't feel scared. Recently, however, the terror of it hit home. quidnunc kid, I appreciate that.

One night, driving home from a club in the village, my amorous girlfriend assaults me with kisses while I desperately tried focusing my booze-soaked eyes on the road ahead. At a red light I decided to engage her for a few moments when who should drive up along side us? A regular Hollywood casting call of leather-clad, homophobic morons from Long Island. It was the After School Special they never aired. "Dykes!!" "Let's kill those bitches, man!!" And what did I do? Something the introductory manual all lesbians are given during the initiation ceremony expressly warns against: I flipped them the bird and told them to fuck off. Hilarity ensued. And by hilarity I mean terror. Long story short; one of them produced a gun, fired it, bullet lodges in the inside passenger door - missing my girlfriend by inches. Car chase; cops; they were arrested; court; only the shooter does time. I get a DUI. Fun night.

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