In "Monkeys scream with fear."

Sad, but not all surprising. (Jonathan Swift?)

In "Musical George:"

Pazz & Jop, yo. (Second metacritic, dispute pitchfork, although they have their moments.) And rocket88- just because you read one review you disagreed with doesn't mean the source of the review is worthless. Although it just so happens that RS is.

In "Man Distraught Over Election Commits Suicide at Ground Zero"

mk1gti- I've been wallowing in liberal despair as much as anyone, but I don't think comments like "the election was rigged. End of discussion. Anyone who's done any research at all knows that" are even remotely constructive. We've been sniggering about how MeFi has been reduced to an echo chamber of shrill, dogmatic liberals, but your comments in this thread are just as bad as anything I've come across on MeFi. "I'm sorry you're so ignorant and uninformed, but you are." Surely you can find somewhere else to take your mean-spirited hysteria? Last I checked we still had pretensions towards civilized discourse here on MoFi.

In "Sleeping by the Mississippi"

Yes, I made a dumb spelling error, please don't be a jerk about it.

In "Welcome To Japan!"

I lived in Tokyo and absolutely loved it. I can't wait to go back (and probably will, pretty soon). But fuyugare could not be more correct. I was going to be a lifetime outsider wherever I went anyways, I suppose, but it is infuriating when you sit near a little old lady and she gets up and moves to the other side of the train just because you're a foreigner. Some good links there, thanks. A few sillier links: Metroblogging Tokyo, the Peter Payne homepage, How to Tell if You're Japanese (obviously still informative if you're not), Fucked Gaijin, and, of course, how to swear in Japanese.

In "I heart Wonkette."

Just saw her on one of the news channels (forget which). She said it was probably just as well that the experience for the young voters was so soul-crushing this time around, because it'll lower their expectations for the future. See, I knew there had to be a silver lining.

In "THE BIG FAT THREAD FOR THE ELECTIONS"

Went through the swing states on CNN one by one. Nevada (5) and Wisconsin (10) are still looking too close to call. Otherwise, Bush is at 261, Kerry's at 244. Unless there's a miracle in Ohio, I really think it's over for Kerry. (And... America. Well, maybe not, but I don't really want to stick around to find out.) Any Brits want to tell me how horrible Britain is before I buy my plane ticket and start packing my bags?

Worst headline of all time: Would Dubya Run in 2008? Those bitches at Slate can't let me enjoy my (still not certain) victory for one bloody second.

In "Bananaphone makes you insane"

Where can you see lions? Only in Kenya! Come to Kenya, we've got lions! (Forget Norway!)

In "THE BIG FAT THREAD FOR THE ELECTIONS"

Voting absentee is soooo lame. I've been deprived of the wonders of the voting experience. I want to go to the local polling place of the Republican town where I am currently being held prisoner and give the evil eye to soccer moms who look like they're on the fence. I can't wait to start my election drinking game which is: 1) start drinking when I can't take the tension anymore (I give myself an hour); and 2) stop drinking when incapacitated. Democracy: what a racket.

In "The Entries for the 2004 Everyman Photo Contest are in."

Gorgeous, thank you. A worthy FPP. Looking at the past winners is great too, but to me it seems like they never choose my favorites.

In "Are you a "rockist"?"

I'm with Anonymous Outsider, who says, "Music criticism never made me want to scream before." (Although I suppose Pitchfork has brought me close a few times.) Is rockism real? Sure. But this article is a grotesque oversimplification. It trots out nothing but stale cliches. Most offensive is Sanneh's limp-wristed conception of punk. There was a thread on MoFi a few weeks ago talking about punk- if this article isn't definitive proof that punk's dead, I don't know what is.

In ""Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.""

Ah, you caught my little joke there, f8xmulder. Nickdanger- yes, it's wonderful how alcohol greases the wheel of international relations. I know the only time I ever came close to having a conversation with a Japanese person in Japanese was when I was deliriously drunk. Alcohol not only makes karaoke bearable, it makes it wonderful. "Alcohol- the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

In "Hot wax"

Damn, that's it. I'm moving back to Japan.

In "For $5 the wonderful world of MeFi can be yours"

I'm almost too silly for MoFi, there's no way I could make it on MeFi. Plus, it ain't what it used to be. Plus the monkeys are more civilized- compare how MeFites and MoFites responded to exceptionally goofy FPPs.

In "Punk'd!"

To be obvious- because punk's dead. Everything you see in the mainstream calling itself punk isn't remotely subversive, and is often suspiciously apolitical. Punk has become a style one can adopt if one wants to seem rebellious, a good way to make your righteous anger seem edgy and relevant, or make something innocuous seem dangerous. But it's hardly more subversive than commercials reassuring you what an independent individual you are by buying a particular product. The notion of a conservative punk is only possible because punk has been absorbed into the mainstream, de-fanged, and reduced to a style and an attitude rather than a set of values. (Not to say there aren't "old-fashioned" or "real" punks out there, but obviously they're not being represented in mainstream culture.)

In "Supersize Me: The Debate"

Speaking of McDonald's. I want to believe this is made up.

In "Mike's Amazing Cakes"

So you're a fan of the marvelous William McGonagall, eh, flashboy? And you may be right, musingmelpomene- but I'd sure hate to be the one who bakes your next birthday cake.

In "Kinsey a perv?"

That was interesting. I generally hate and fear biopics but this one looks promising, as cinema anyway. I won't be holding my breath waiting for this film to generate any intelligent debate about Kinsey's work, though.

In "Carl Lewis: Oh dear."

I don't see why it's necessary to be so aggressively unkind, bernockle. Double posts are a mere nuisance, I don't think they deserve such righteous anger.

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