In "Curious George: Cellphone City"

I go with feature-freeness now, but in my old job I had a Blackberry that came in handy when I was sitting in a fast food joint at lunch. The only added feature my current cellphone has is a faint smell of bananas. Of course, that could just be because I keep it in my back pocket...

In "Hitting the high notes"

Dear explorers, If you happen to find a set of keys with a Gumby keychain, could you please send them back to me? Thanks!

In "If only I looked better in tights..."

True gomi, but there's something wrong with a lot of cosplay...

I couldn't find it previously posted in my quick Monkeysearch, and didn't want to put it in the main fpp due to all the pop-ups and such. But, here's a great idea of what poor Stan's gotten himself into. Warning: popups, embedded video and hilarity ahead. Pay special attention to interviewer's eyes.

In "Anonymous, George: Why Won't He Wear The Ring?"

I always keep mine on, primarily because I know I'll lose it otherwise. The only times I take it off are when my chemo starts making my fingers swell, at which point the ring makes my finger break out with a weird rash. I always keep it with me though - generally tied to the loop of my cellphone, though if I have to go through much more chemo, I'll probably get a necklace for it. The benefits? Having a ring on gives me something to do. Plus, it gives me an easy excuse for all of the hot women who constantly throw themselves at me. "Sorry ladies, I'm taken." Sure it doesn't make me invisible to them, but I wasn't before, being dead sexy and all. Oh, and as for the question itself, I also recommend a good sit-down talk about it between the two of you. Just be sure and tell him why you're concerned.

In "Curious, George: UNLURK!"

Ah, here it is - the Squirrel-Go-Round. The only drawback to this feeder is, if you get a chunky squirrel on there, the cobpole can slide out. While the ensuing drop adds to the entertainment value, this allows the squirrel to run off into the bushes with both the cob and the cobpole.

That's sort of it, Pete. Mine has screws on hooks (Samuel L. Jackson's next movie) for the corn, so it's a lot wigglier and harder to hold on to. At least, that's what she said.

No gingersnaps for me, thanks - the wisdom tooth thing. Pete and Koko, you need what I have at home - a swirly squirrel feeder. You pound it into a tree and attach four corncobs onto four arms that spin when weight is applied. Wait - that sounds entirely wrong. Think of a ferris wheel with a perpendicular rod through the middle affixing it to a tree and corncobs instead of little carriages and... umm... squirrels instead of carnies. Anyway, it's hours of entertainment.

Well, it says I've made 11 comments, but I can only remember the recent Blooker one, so I still consider myself a lurker. Was going to reply to this sooner, but I had to watch a squirrel hopping through the parking lot first. As for me, I'm easily distracted, have the cancer, came up with my username from my old motocross sandbagging name "Astro Moondoggie," my left foot is innately jealous of my right foot and I now have a grand total of three wisdom teeth, which I suppose makes me only 3/4 as smart as I was this time last week.

In "The Lulu Blooker Prize"

Is Lulu Blooker from Germany? Every time I go to that site, I hear thunder crashes and horse whinnies. Frau Blücher!

In "Litigious George..."

Hey moneyjane - just read through the whole story and one thing that comes to my mind - you mentioned at one point that this could be a scam and this "P" could possibly be someone who has access to the real P or the real P's checks. Working on the paranoia angle here, this could indeed be someone other than the real P. So he sends you a check, gets you to cash it, then demands the money with threats of a lawyer. This way, he gets to steal a little money from P with no trail leading back to him other than your word. And it's obvious from the way he's treating you that he doesn't think your word is going to hold water with anyone. My advice is stay the course. Since you haven't actually met the guy face to face, I'd go with the thought that he's someone trying to scam P out of money. There doesn't appear to be anything he's done to prove he's not a scammer. I would wish you good luck, but I know you're going to prevail and take his ass to the cleaners on this if need be. Go get 'em, mj!

In "A dab of ephemera for your Friday pleasure:"

Holy crapoley. According to IMDb, she actually got the PhD in 2004. In addition, she's also adopted a whale, a wolf and a manatee. I bet she's going to start treating them differently now that she has a kid of her own. Poor adopted animals.

In "Watch it shred"

As I watched it chew up the offroad tire, I thought to myself, "What, no babies?"

In "Barbecuing For Cancer"

Thanks for the good wishes, fellow monkeys. I had to run off to work where I'm still the new guy, so I can't check in with MoFi for another week or so - just until they find I'm invaluable and leave me alone. And don't worry quidnunc, you're still number one deep in my cancerous heart. Incidentally, if you don't have health insurance, go get it in whatever shape or form you can! This whole little cancer thing has already cost my insurance company over $150,000! In about four months! And one day's treatment runs about four grand! Whoever invented cancer is ROLLING in the dough!

That's okay, I'm getting used to it - I'm past the halfway point in treatments, so only a couple of more months to go. Wheee!

That must be why I crave barbecue after chemo - the cancer's trying to stay healthy! AUUUGGHH!

In "Lost From Midland."

You were lucky, LordSludge - I lived there for 25 years. Stay away, everyone. Faaaaar away...

In "Buffo is the World's Strongest Clown. "

For all of us who are freaked out by this, there's hope. (I love the title of the page) Remember: "Fear of clowns can severely disrupt normal life, interfering with school, work, or social relationships." Especially if you work with a bunch of clowns. I can't believe I just said that.

In "Curious George: Don't Supersize Me"

2) People don't read. The simple fact, LarimdaME, is that in Our Modern Society, cars with smaller cupholders are seen as somehow inferior to cars with larger cupholders. Barring an installation of newer, larger cupholders out of a different material, most people with small cupholders are ashamed to admit their car has them. Thus, they will lie to a surveyor and say that cupholder size really doesn't matter. Fortunately, I am comfortable enough in my cupholderhood to tell the truth - small cupholders are the reason. Sometimes improperly made ones as well. You see, they should have asked someone honest like me. Cupholders.

Three words - small cupholders. Wait. Two words.

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