Thought Police no longer fiction Google must divulge the viewing habits of every user who has ever watched any video on YouTube, a US court has ruled. Thank goodness I have nothing to worry about- oh, wait!

11 Best Foods You Aren't Eating. Really long NYT article with technical lingo on what foods we should be eating for better health. To save you time, I've condensed the list. Presented without further editorial comment: 1. Motherfuckin' beets. 2. Cabbage. 3. Swiss chard: They protect the Pope and are also green and leafy. 4. Cinnamon: Sometimes spelled cinammon. 5. Pomegranate juice: A type of juice. 6. Dried Plums. The food previously known as pruny prune-faced prune fruit. 7. Pumpkin seeds: These are packed with magnesium. Also available in .44 hollow point. 8. Sardines: Mash them up, use as a spread or as figurines. 9. Turmeric: Sounds like tumor. Don't think about that. 10. Frozen blueberries: a.k.a. "tundra testicles" 11. Canned Pumpkin: i see the big-assed can, but where da seeds at?

In a story tailor-made for Monkeyfilter a 42-year-old chimpanzee, who eats with a knife and fork but also occasionally bites bits off people, has gone missing in a southern California forest after escaping from his cage. The owner is the same guy who was hideously mauled a few years ago while bringing the same Chimp a birthday cake (it wasn't the same ape that attacked him). more inside

Metropolis- Complete at Last- Last Tuesday Paula Félix-Didier traveled on a secret mission to Berlin in order to meet with three film experts and editors from ZEITmagazin. The museum director from Buenos Aires had something special in her luggage: a copy of a long version of Fritz Lang’s Metropolis, including scenes believed lost for almost 80 years.

Bonne fête Québec! At about 11 a.m., July 3rd, 1608, French explorer Samuel de Champlain walked up to Cap Diamant, and founded Québec City, before going on to lose his astrolabe and stuff. more inside

Digging a hole to China? Use the Map Tunneling Tool to figure out where you'd really end up if you dug a hole through the Earth's core. Apparently, I'd come out somewhere off the southwest coast of Australia. Antipodean Monkeys, keep watching the waters!

US President tries to reassure survivors.

Christopher Hitchens learns about waterboarding. (second link, video. Video of Christopher Hitchens being waterboarded.)

How much do you love your local public transportation? Not as much as these kids, I'm betting! This made my day.