Too funny to be true. Steve Ballmer: The Early Days. His rehearsal for Dance, Monkeyboy, Dance! If Steve Jobs had that kind of enthusiasm the Macintosh might be a very different beast.

Have a Votergasm! Achievement of a Votergasm during election-night sex is probable, but not guaranteed. Those encountering difficulty reaching Votergasm are encouraged to slow things down, talk about it, and reduce the pressure. Other techniques include the use of massage oils, toys, "dirty talk," "ballot stuffing," and "exit polls." more inside

Anti Simianism Cheese eating surrender monkey is discriminated against in Wisconsin.

Curious George - Dog = Bob? When somebody says to me "I saw Bob today", I instantly get sort of a mental trading card of 'Bobness' popping up - a simultaneous burst of what Bob looks like, a fleeting impression of the specific traits that most typify 'Bobness' and whether or not I like Bob. I have exactly the same response when an animal I know is mentioned. There is absolutely no difference between person and animal. Is this what makes some people go into a burning building to save their dog? Because I know I'd be thinking, "I've got to get Quinn out of there" because he's Quinn; in my head there's no difference between going in for him or going in after a friend in the building. The question isn't about who would or who wouldn't go in a burning building to save an animal, or if someone should or not - I just really want to know if other people's 'mental trading cards' have people and animals shuffled into the same deck, or are they separate?

These cops are so bored that they've turned to shocking each other... well no, not really. My curiosity, however, is rather piqued: is this whole "do unto others only what's done unto you" theory funny or the most social conscious decision in recent history? (greetings from Warrior)

If English were written like Chinese more inside

boogie in the butt... I mean buff "As dress codes go, the new rules for the Allen Roc discotheque could not be simpler - leave your clothes behind. All of them. The club has organised what it claims is Europe's first nudist disco night, telling bouncers not to admit the bashful and only those prepared to boogie in the buff." I'm assuming touch dancing is ok?

Ghetto Fabulous Wedding I'm not one to judge since I haven't even ordered my wedding photos 5 years after the fact. Wait a minute, I AM one to judge. This wedding is hilarous!

Capsula Mundi. The first italian project to promote ecological burial. [Via Aeiou.]

It's a guy thing. Radio psycho-chatter Dr. Laura has ideas that make many feminists' toes curl. But this WashPost writer finds that -- surprisingly -- she agrees with many points, including "A good man is not a best girlfriend," and, "Many women actually believe they can have it all, and do it all well. Nope." I realize this will raise the rancor of many women, but I'm especially curious as to what the male monkeys think of this article, and Dr. Laura's theories about men.

For this reason, every picture has to be cherished

At Enviromate, "You can work for [Phil Gaddis] or John Kerry," but not both. Enviromate: a happy sort of factory, where paychecks come wrapped in pro-Bush fliers. ("Just so you know, because of the Bush tax cut ... I was able to give you a job.") more inside

Project God.com - A collection of short films that teach us what to do when Porn strikes, how to convince someone of an afterlife, and to sieze the moment for witnessing. Their mission? Creating (bizzare and absurd) Christ Centered Short Films. more inside

Yaaaaaiiii! War-torn Bosnian city of Mostar to erect statue to promote peace and unity. Then decides to be original

Alaska to Argentina. Lois wanted an adventure - so she rode a motorbike from Alaska to Terra del Fuego, Argentina. Apart from flying from Panama to Ecuador, that's a ride clean through 2 continents. more inside

Traction at the turn of the century. Link from Miss Wurzel Tod, whom see for more pictures.

To induce orgasm, the stimulating wires could connect to a signal generator smaller than a packet of cigarettes implanted under the skin of a patient's buttocks. more inside

Lice. Head & Body. The debate ends - If you have Lice of the body and hair, then clearly the biggest question eating you is whether the Head Louse is a distinct species from the Body Louse. Despite labaratory tests which showed the two interbreeding, Scientists put their heads together to scratch out the truth once and for all. You have two sets of Lice. And that sucks. more inside

Bullseye!

Injurious George; I was diagnosed today with a torn meniscus in my knee. (very painful) The doc recommends surgery. I've got no insurance (long story). The cost (or so I've been told) is going to be $5400.00 for the surgery, The surgery center tacks on a few grand and then there's anaesthetic. Being the cheap bastard that I am, I'm thinking there must be a better way. For that kind of cash I could fly to another country and get it done much cheaper. (no, no, no, not Tijuana) Any suggestions?