October 05, 2005

• I'm Shakespeare.
• I'm Shaksper.
• I'm Shakespeare, and so is my wife.
• Sometimes the world is just weird. When people can devote their time and energy to finding the "true" identity of someone that died more than 300 hundred years ago and be respected in academia, but when people, like myself, who study something that is actually going on right now, there are those who scoff and turn up their nose... The reason why it matters who Shakespeare was is...? Sure it would be a fun book to read, and the blurb makes it sound like it is the sequel to the Da Vinci code (or at least what I've heard about the da Vinci code. I'm an academic, I don't have time to read books that haven't been assigned to me!), but when it comes down to it, my or I would imagine 90% of people's appreciate of the plays attributed to Shakespeare won't be changed by learning his "true" identity (see you can tell I'm an academic because I use scare quotes!).
• Are you an academic, by any chance?
• I get the impression that jccalhoun may just be an academic. Can anyone confirm or deny this?
• Will, you hush up!
• If only we could refer the question to some kind of academy, and the experts who dwell within. But know we such persons? Does jccalhoun?
• I'm an anemic. It would be fun to read this book, but, being anemic, I'm not sure if I could lift it. I can say that if Shakespeare turns out not to be Shakespeare, as an anemic I will boycott his works.
• I'm an anemone. As an anemone, I am a flowerlike marine coelenterate of the class Anthozoa, having a flexible cylindrical body and tentacles surrounding a central mouth. However, I firmly believe that the works of "Shakespeare" were actually written by Kit Marlowe, the famous spy, raconteur and anemone.
• No, that would be "Shaakspier," the well-known South African author.
• I'm a crackademic, so I really can't comment. I'm mostly tied up with breaking down societal structure in inner cities, being released by the CIA and other forms of evil.
• Draw thy tool. My naked weapon is out.
• The weapon in my academy is a naked gun.
• goddammitnevermindconfusedtheSquadwiththeAcademy
• I have irrefutable proof that the comment popularly attributed to jccalhoun was not actually written by him. I will be compiling my findings into a book, which will be light enough to be lifted by an anemic.
• I have irrefutable proof that the comment popularly attributed to jccalhoun was not actually written by him. I will be compiling my findings into a book, which will be light enough to be lifted by an anemic. The above statement is traditionally attributed to rocket88. Yet could just one man truly be the source of such a prodigious output of classic commentary? Is it not more probably that the works of "rocket88" (actually a sub-literate sea-anemone) were actually authored by goetter?
• Or so the quidnunc kid would have you believe. Yes, to shield his influence by CIA, the Templars, former members of Pat Benatar, and, yes, the Queen, he has deliberatly posted rocket88's classic comment under the guise of goetter to beset jccalhoun. Will his fiendishness go uncountered? Only two scotches and a guiness will decide.
• A shouzza gonna tell em peewee HA HA HA i min peterbezze *hic* ah senna dooz - AH LOVE YOU, MAN *hic*
• Until the writer of the works of rocket88 can be identified, I will be only reading trashy novels and magazines with perfume samples. And petebest, I shake my spear at you.
• *gazes at dreaming spires, whilst cradling ALL of Shakespeare's works in his tweed-clad arms*
• A cad? Uh, me?
• I have irrefutable proof that the comment popularly attributed to jccalhoun was not actually written by him. I will be compiling my findings into a book, which will be light enough to be lifted by an anemic. I will counter rocket88's book with a book of my own, proving the existence of jccalhoun and disproving the existence of both rocket88 and myself. The book will weigh 8 tons, and thus will be unliftable by anyone.
• TRANSFORMATIONAL PSYCHO-HISTORY: MONKEYFILTER POST AUTHORSHIP SUPRESSED ALL of the world's misconceptions stem from the failure to embrace the LAW of ELECTRO-ATOMIC MOFI POST DUALITY. The powers that be have suppressed the facts about the Lara posts to conceal the cosmic truth about the DIVINE principle of MERIDITHEA ELECTRO-MENTAL POST CONDUCTION. They altered the speed of light to hide the secret of the identity of quidnunc. They destroyed Pope John Paul I because he chanced upon these secrets. The cosmic monkeyfilter constant is 6.913248. ONLY from this value can one calculate the CODES FOR UNLOCKING THE TRUTHS SUPPRESSED THROUGHOUT HISTORY. Achieve immeasurable peace, etc. today! Just follow these 3 easy steps: 1. Turn away from the worldwide truth-suppression empire. 2. ? 3. Profit
• /spittle
• Did I kill it?
• What I've never understood is why it is so difficult for some folk to accept the idea that Shakespeare wrote quidnunc's stuff.
• Well, unless Will Shakey was dropped on his head when he was a baby, I can't see how it could be so.
• TRANSFORMATIONAL PSYCHO-HISTORY: MONKEYFILTER POST AUTHORSHIP SUPRESSED ROFL, Sir Francis Bacon!
• i got a creamy milk-based chocolate drink at lunchtime, but while walking with it i happened upon one of these famous battle reconstruction things with everyone dressed up in old clothes and wearing armour and so on and one guy was really clumsy with his lance and banged it against the drink container i was holding and everything spilled out and it just sucked really bad. yes, the bastard speared my shake.
• roryk, that joke was so terrible it must have been written by a a bald exhibitionist britney impersonator named willy-out shaved-speares.
• and then just a short while after the speared-shake incident i was passing a restaurant and some mad waiter who was incensed with the behaviour of a customer flung a plate out the door and a large slab of meat hit me on the chest and stuck there momentarily before sliding down my shirt and landing on the ground, leaving a large stain on my garment. how oh how will i get rid of this steak-smear?
• You wouldn't be eating steak if you met some cattle, hung out with 'em a bit, got to be pals. Thus spake steer.
• /COLLAPSE
• /gets up /COLLAPSE AGAIN
• I was distressed at the news that a selection of cold meats available in the House of Lords canteen had turned out to be made from pig's penises, the revelation of which caused shocked convulsions for numerous of their dining Lordships. Yes, Willy ham shakes peers.
• *searches for squeegee*
• the out-of-sorts monkey, sleeping off an overindulgence in fermented fruit, was disturbed by a large fruit bat landing on the branch beside him. he stirred, then roused himself and looked around to see what was going on. in summary: ill simian wakes, peers
• Monkeys prefer two beverages. One is standing water, the other is a fermented drink. Lakes, beer. Oh, and Pete--You speak unskilfully: or, if your knowledge be more, it is much darkened in your malice.
• When the wealthy Saudi prince acquired a new luxury yacht, the vessel was of such grand proportions that a new dock had to be built, known as Sheik's Pier.
• Sometimes the world is just weird. When people can devote their time and energy to finding the "true" identity of someone that died more than 300 hundred years ago and be respected in academia, but when people, like myself, who study something that is actually going on right now, there are those who scoff and turn up their nose... Well, it's not as those these people are respected for doing work in Shakespearian authorship. Nobody gives a shit about that in academia, because there's pretty good evidence for the author of the plays being Shakespeare, and there's no good reason to doubt it. That rebuttal is pretty good, for example. I couldn't find anything on Brenda James, but William "Bill" Rubinstein is a modern British and Jewish historian - i.e. his status in academia is not at all derived from this work, and is fact probably undermined by it as seeming "popular."