October 05, 2005

Giant Balls of Snot
posted by Argh 19 years ago
  • Greatest. Post. Title. Evar.
  • Also a very interesting article.
  • And I have yet *another* reason not to go swimming in the fucking ocean.
  • So beautiful to be something kind of gross.
  • Though realtors amy beg and plead, a mucous house ain't what I need. And then, o' course, the damn things sink so they're not the bargain ye might think.
  • =may
  • And I have yet *another* reason not to go swimming in the fucking ocean. Gol-diggety! I can't stand the thought of swimming pools because of hair and mucus; why'd those dang oceanographers hafta bring this to our attention?
  • The ocean, my friend, is nothing more than a giant soup of snot, fish piss and rotting seaweed. And there are sharks in it. To be an Australian and think this way is apparently nothing short of heresy. Chymie don't surf
  • The only good thing about the ocean are Whales. But that don't mean I want to share a bath with them.
  • www.ratemybooger.com is taken -- ah, I smell great plans afoot.
  • Seriously, have you ever shared a bath with a whale? Fucking hog the loofah.
  • The only other good thing about the ocean is underwater goats with snorkels and flippers.
  • Not so many troublesome sharks and goats in the chilly North Atlantic. But I like to think that it's also relatively mucus-free. At least, I prefer the mucus to emanate from invertebrates, who perhaps don't have quite the control over mucus emanations that you snotty mammal types oughtta.
  • Oh, they have control.
  • Oh sure, giant larvaceans spin a mucous web and everyone's cool with it, but I launch one snot rocket in the pool and my Y membership gets revoked. Pfft.
  • /phone rings "Hello Bernockle...why yes, of course, I'll mention it for you. No problem, you're welcome." Owl Semen.
  • If you're swimmin' with your honey And your nose gets kinda runny Don't think it's funny, 'cause it's snot.
  • I think of it this way. Mucous is the animal equivalent of boiled okra.
  • LOL
  • And I have yet *another* reason not to go swimming in the fucking gumbo.
  • Boiled okra, huh? I always thought tapioca pudding was its culinary equivalent.
  • Okra is even worse, guava, to this degree: okra doesn't have any lumps in it to break the monotonous Stranglehold of Slime.
  • I hear Okra's packing on the pounds again.
  • I heard the worst joke ever.
  • *sniffles, wipes nose on Chyren*
  • FINALLY Chyren and I find something we are in complete agreement on. When I come to power, one of my first priorities will be the demucusification and subsequent paving of the ocean. I will appoint Chyren to head up the project, and give him all latitude and funding required to proceed with implementation. *removes smutz from Chyren, throws fish tick the stinkeye*
  • also: the only proper culinary preparation for okra is rolling it in corn meal and pan-frying it until inedible, then chucking the whole mess and ordering take-out from Dragon Palace, which makes a fine mongolian beef, and doesn't skimp on the sticky rice or shallots.
  • Slackers, I call foul!
  • *sniffles, wipes nose on sugarmilktea*
  • And why would I want to swim where fish pee?