September 29, 2005

• I got thru about 1/4 of "Getting to Yes" on CD (Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In) before I gave up for lack of patience. Lots of people swear by thier approach though.
• Can I just toss in an idea - if it is a lot of money, then having a professional negotiatior with you may end up gaining you a better deal than on your own PLUS the lawyer/arbitrator/negotiator fee. From experience I can tell you that, after having read a wide selection of material, it really isn't the book knowledge that helps you get the best outcome. It's the actual experience. Reading helps you keep in mind various tactics and signs to look for and how to judge and read things, but it is difficult to impart with words how a specific situation should best be approached. If you think you have all the skills and information in your head when you walk in the room, then when something out of leftfield occurs, it can really really spring a heavy dose of insecurity and nervousness. And that will be noticed. Of course, we all have negotiating skills. But in the major leagues it is an art born of experience and knowledge. It's not the same as jiving a john or scamming a discount in asia or whatever. Annnnnyyyyywaaaaay....I thought I'd toss that in there for reflective/contrasting purposes. If it was me and I did have less than a swag full of high level negotiating skills, in addition to reading some material, I would find someone in whom I trust and go through scenarios and tactics but more importantly, I would establish the parameters for the outcome that will be acceptable to me. Set your bottom line in cold unmoving cement. That will assist more than anything and besides, it will help you towards the end of the negotiation when you will have to compromise - it's easier to compromise when you have manouvered circumstances such that you can only win, if you catch my drift - that way there is less chance of scaring/pissing off the opposition with outrageous demands when you are already above the bottom line. 2c Kerchink!
• When I was negotiating for a major pay raise in a situation where "protocol" was not in my favor, I did a lot of role playing with a self-made business friend of mine. Now, I generally feel silly about this kind activity, but it really helped. Just rehearsing different scenarios with someone cemented all of the points I wanted to make. By the time the big "pitch" came around I felt very comfortable in my talking points, and was prepared for a wide range of reactions and/or challenges. It was my boss who was taken by surprise, and ended up fumbling. Yay me!
• Set your bottom line in cold unmoving cement. That will assist more than anything and besides, it will help you towards the end of the negotiation when you will have to compromise - it's easier to compromise when you have manouvered circumstances such that you can only win, if you catch my drift - that way there is less chance of scaring/pissing off the opposition with outrageous demands when you are already above the bottom line. That's what I think I have to do; I need to sit down and write out what things are on the list as possible compromises, and what absolutely aren't. Also, I'm trying to not think about money in an intimidating way, but rather as something equal to my contribution to the deal, which is my time. Seeing them both in an abstract way, if that makes any sense. Yay Kimdog!
• I'd recommend Getting Past No by William Ury (same guy techsmith mentioned). It was the first book in his series (he's recycling in the rest of them), and really elegantly outlines how one can effectively negotiate difficult situations. I had to read it as part of an Alternative Dispute Resoultion course and it was quite helpful. My husband used some of the ideas to get his boss to give him a raise, and I used it to help with job interviews. The best things I took away from the book were the ideas of trying to see from the other party's perspective and making them an offer they couldn't refuse. Basically it's realizing that a negotiation isn't a zero-sum, prisoner's dilemma game, but that it can have multiple iterations.
• Rehearsal is key. Find someone to practice with, someone who may throw you some curve balls. Map out clearly what is mandatory, what would be nice, what you can give in on. Identify your dealbreakers. There's a term you'll see a lot in writings about negotiation: BATNA. You can learn a lot more about BATNA via the wonders of Google. In a nutshell, though, it's your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. If you know what your best alternative is, then you can quickly evaluate whether what the other side is offering is good for you or not.
• I will double whatever the offer is. What is it I am negotiating for right now?
• "You Can Negotiate Anything" by Herb Cohen is a great book. I negotiate a lot, and have read a ton of negotiating books. "Getting Past No" is good, but this book is great.
• I will double whatever the offer is. Straight from the George Steinbrenner school of negotiations.
• I found this relevant post on a friend's LJ this evening. Said friend is hard as acrylic nails when it comes to doing business, and has billions of years' experience in managerial positions, and just started her own business, so this might be useful. I hope it is. Good luck mj!
• Make sure to show cleavage. Can't hurt.
• I will double whatever the offer is. Sweet! You now owe me $240,000 in exchange for my dubious company for one year. And how will you be paying sir?
• I don't have that much money. But I do have 400 mason jars full of vintage 1991 owl semen.
• Deal!
• Wow. Wasn't expecting to close the deal that quickly. Now I have 1/100th of a mason jar of human semen.
• Heh. You owl-lovin' bastid.
• I read Bargaining for Advantage, by Richard Shell (which is on the list you link to). I found it to be very good--all the concepts were explained simply and clearly, without being oversimplified. The main thing I came away with it is that you shouldn't get hung up on the idea that you have to be an abrasive, pushy hardball type to be an effective negotiator; better to figure out an effective negotiation style for your personality than to try to negotiate as if you were somebody else.
• I've already figured out the 'let loose a small bear, and while opponent is distracted, steal wallet' trick I want half. I got thru about 1/4 of "Getting to Yes" on CD (Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In) before I gave up for lack of patience. ......no comment.
• "Getting to Yes" is great for theory and it is a must-read to start.... ....but when you're in the trenches and the bullets are flying you need to know what kinda sh*t may come your way. So that's why i recommend Roger Dawson's "Secrets of Power Negotiating". Yes, it's a corny title but it gives you a list of longstanding psychological shock tactics that the pros use. Knowing about them means you'll be less likely to cave. Example: The Vise Technique. Really simple: the negotiator squeezes people into concessions or better performance by repeating the phrase "You'll have to do better than that". Another quote: "The person under the most time pressure usually does worse in the negotiations. the rule is that 80% of the concessions come in the last 20% of the time available to negotiate. Flexibility and concessions come with time pressure"
• That's something I'm concerned about; the whole deal I'm negotiating also depends on me appearing charming at all times because I'm simultaneously auditioning my personality. Something I have used in the past is to throw a lot of "as I'm sure you'll understand" and "as a business-person yourself" phrases in, so it's suggesting, that 'if you were in my situation, you'd be doing exactly the same thing; meaning it's a good plan and that both you and I are clever to have thought it up'. Unfortunately, most of the people I've 'negotiated' with in Escortlandia have turned out to be aspiring fraudsters who were only fronting and not interested in negotiating at all, and so ran shrieking for the hills as soon as I got business-like with them and asked for concrete details and time-frames, so it's hard to gauge how effective my tactics would have been in a legitimate bargaining session. In any case, off to buy some books. Thanks Monkeys!
• I really really want to ask what specifically it is you're talking about.. but I guess I won't. Will I?
• Ok. A gentleman has asked me to be his travelling companion for one year to Europe and South America. This means a year out of my life in Canada, but the financial compensation is good. I've talked to him over the phone up to now, and I'm being flown to another Canadian city to meet this guy in a couple weeks, and, should we hit it off, discuss details. Should he alter his financial offer or time frame, I want to be able to counter that; also I'm going to ask for a week every three months to bugger off for alone time, either coming back to Canada, or wandering off somewhere wherever we are for a week to myself. He seems like a reasonable guy, and most likely won't have a problem with thses things, but I want to be prepared for anything.
• Something I have used in the past is to throw a lot of "as I'm sure you'll understand" and "as a business-person yourself" The tactic Dawson uses for this situation - Feel, Felt, Found: Arguing can create confrontation which is not good, instead agree up front by using phrases like "I understand how you feel about x, many others have felt the same way, however we have always found..."
• * sits down, chews on cigar * yeah, so which one o' you punks wanna buy a used car from me?
• Thanks for the exposé. Sounds like a great once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, truly! Good luck! and make sure you keep us up-to-date.
• yeah, so which one o' you punks wanna buy a used car from me? Well, I'm kinda screwed now that they've found millions of gallons of frozen owl semen in the sparkling Owljiznovsnishenko Caverns beneath the Siberian tundra and the market's tanked. I may need to cancel my Ferrari order. You have Lada Zhiguli, yes?
• Bought two books! They had "Secrets of Power Negotiating" and "You Can Negotiate Anything". Also picked up something called "The Book of Tells" by Peter Collett. Soon I will be Capitalist Pig Dog!
• Or at least a better poker player.
• moneyjane, don't forget to retain the film rights to anything you do. wishing you much luck in negotiating such an incredible business deal!
• Thanks Patita :) I do intend to keep an account of this thing, while, of course, protecting my client. Hoping it really happens; Escortlandia is verrrry unpredictable...I've come close another time on a different deal that was pretty good, but the other party flaked. In a way, that's good; until I'm seeing the dough and an itinerary I don't have *that* much invested in the idea which means I can parley without as much pressure.
• You have Lada Zhiguli, yes? But of course, we have a lovely model here with negative mileage. You drive it and it actually gets closer to brand new! It's on sale at $29,999. But if you sign now, I'll talk to our sales manager and maybe I can give it to you for $28,000.
• In case anyone's curious, this deal has gone through more twists than Elvis' dead bowels; big blowout before my trip to meet the guy due to financial ineptitude on his part...resulting in his cancelling the funds to cover my visit to him 24 hours before I was to leave. The deal was stone dead, and I was out money. I figured since he'd dropped the ball on everything financial already that he'd screw that up too...which he did, apparently, as the money showed up in my account, so I scooped the funds the moment they were accessible and told him I'd return him half the money only, given the money I'd put into the venture - lost work, expedited passport, etc. etc. in anticipation of a trip that he cancelled twice. Turns out he'd decided to not stop payment, and was surprised I let him know I had the dough. I told him most people would have scooped it, but that that was not my style. Therefore...the deal may be back in play. It's true...pimpin' ain't easy.
• Well, that worked out well. The guy's suing me. I did, however, learn lots from the books, which may be even more handy now...
• The whole sordid story, in which a deal goes horribly, horribly wrong but is so retarded it's funny.
• and I thought I dealt with stupid, indiscriminate people in my work. damn!