November 30, 2003

It slimed me If, like me, you have an eelskin wallet, you might be interested in what it's made from. It turns out it's not an eel, but a hagfish, aka slime eel. Yes, it's called a "slime" eel for a reason. Its slime is the subject of ongoing research, including egg replacement in scones. Before we get too far, let's not fall prey to hagfish misconceptions.
  • One of the uses that we came up with was using the slime as an egg substitute in baking...Personally, none of us could taste a negative difference, and in fact we agreed that the [sc]ones made with hagfish slime tasted better!! Man I hope thats true - we could cure human hunger by scaring a bunch of hagfish.
  • Yeah, but it's a sugar-based substance. So we'd cure hunger, but turn entire third world nations into raging diabetics. Man, damned if you do, damned if you don't!
  • Lord knows I'm all about ending hunger, but if you know what's good for you, you *won't* mess with the best scone recipe in existence: http://www.joyofbaking.com/scones.html Omit butter and egg from the above recipe, and increase heavy cream to 1 1/4 cups. Apologies for not knowing how to post a proper link.
  • Apologies for not knowing how to post a proper link [a href="http://www.joyofbaking.com/scones.html"]scones[/a] replace [ with < and ] with >, and write the text you want the link to say where i've written scones. The above link would look like this: scones I hope that helps. (and those scones sure look nice)
  • I had my scones surgically removed... And I see nothing wrong with slime eels (just try to avoid getting one as a landlord).
  • Wendell - snerk. While you're avoiding slime eels, try not to get one as a boss, either. And thanks, dng! (hands dng banana scone)
  • True eelskin wallet story: I was working on a buddy of mine's roof, stripping off old shingles and re-tacking the new ones. I was on the sharp side, roped to the chimney, when the right-side rope looses and I go slipping down the roof. I do one of those twist-wriggles and I end up on my ass, sliding down FAST toward the edge of the roof, both hands scrabbling against the shingles, both feet kicking, trying to find some purchase before I got flipping out into space. OK, it's only a high second floor, I'm not going to *die*, but I land wrong? I maybe break a leg, hyperextend a knee, a lot of car-wreck-interesting scenarios are playing through my head at quintuple speed, because by this time? I figure I'm going off, and I'm thinking about how best to stick the landing. Then I just STOP. Literally, with my feets dangling over the gutter. I take a breath, get my boots under me again, re-rope, take a slug of my beer (perched prettily and safely on a kneeboard like nothing happened), and get back to work. Later, we're at the bar down the street grabbing a cold one, I pull out my wallet to pay for a round, and wha? My eelskin wallet is roached, looks like someone took a sander to it. All of a sudden: lightbulb. I hit the head and take a look at the back of my jeans, sure enough my right-side ass pocket is worn completely through, crispy around the edges like it was burned. My wallet slips in, perfect match to the sanding-marks. Basically, I was slipping down that roof, and my jeans wore through to the wallet, which hit the shingles and STOPPED me - 175 pounds of fast-moving downhill dipshit and my eelskin wallet stopped me. I carried that wallet for two years easy after that, scraping and all, our of *respect*.
  • I remember - long, long ago - hearing that eelskin wallets would demagnetize credit cards. Curious, I just checked Snopes & Straight Dope, only to discover that it was actually the magnetic clasps on the wallets that were causing the problem, rather than the residual charge of an electric eel. Sigh. Another childhood belief shattered.
  • Fes, that is a great story. Did you save the jeans, too?
  • If Fes ever gets canonized that wallet's a holy relic for sure. How many miracles does it take?
  • I really like how Cecil Adams answered the second question on the Straight Dope page.
  • Well, I have nothing to contribute.
  • QUIT FUCKING WITH MY SIDEBAR.
  • Heh. *wipes milk off screen*
  • Yah, that Fes, all the girls say he's 175 pounds of fast-moving downhill dipshit and they love it!
  • Hey MCT, how's this for deja vu?
  • but MCT, I was just preparing a topless shoutout for you /laughs cruelly