August 30, 2005

• Shutup, flid.
• Crawly bumlick.
• Paltry child's play, this, milords of Kissbreech. For down-and-dirty yet inventive perjoratives I recommend Sir Thomas Urqhart's translation of the fist few books of Rabelais' Gargantua and Pantagruel.
• Among my favorite books ever, bees.
• Chapter 1.XIII. How Gargantua's wonderful understanding became known to his father Grangousier, by the invention of a torchecul or wipebreech.
• ...fucking 16th century comedy numpties...mutter grumble...kill my goddam thread....mutter...
• Numpty yersel', ye mingin' basket o' beetroot!
• Crawly bumlick Hey, that's my nickname.
• And it suits ya.
• Don't start.
• Sir, Sir! Koko's messing about, Sir!
• Get this -- in my grade school, if you did something "gay" (i.e. outside the accepted norm), you were called a "gaybar". Even after the error was pointed out to them, kids still called each other "gaybar". I went to school with idiots. Which is probably why I'm such a crawly bumlick.
• You are so gaybar.
• Except you have to say it with the proper accent and vitriol: Oh my gawd, yeh such a gaybaaah!!
• I added a George Sanders-esque touch of Anglo sophistication when I said it.
• People who say 'Gaybar' are Gaylords.
• We used to shout 'I love teach!' at gaylord crawly bumlicks in high pitched voices. In fact, I still do.
• You are such a dickweed.
• FARLEY: Gay Bar, please. MEADOWS: So, you're gay, huh? FARLEY: Let me put it this way: yes I am, but my wife and kids dont know about it.
• I personally think squirrels are evil.
• I'm still reading this fucking thing. Like, five hours later.
• Crowbar! Rebar! Beesbar!
• Millibar! Wet bar! Breaker Bar!
• So, go on then, what are yours? One inspired moment was "Redbricking". We were sat round arguing (as you do) as to whether redbrick universities were newer or older universities. I think I was right. The conversation went something like this: "Newer!" "Older!" "Newer!" "Older!" "Proper redbricked yer mum last night, mate" (this is the standard recommended technique for "yer mum" jokes in my area). "...How exactly would you redbrick someone?" Then, my friend Mark, with a thoughtful look on his face, said: "Maybe it's where.... You're having sex with someone's mum... When she's having a poo... And she's on her period... And you're smearing her poo and blood everywhere." We all sat back in astonishment. We were in the presence of a master.
• Kitfisto, your use of "Joey" caught my attention. We used to use the word "Joey" as an insult back in '82/'83. No one seemed to know where it came from and when we learned that it was a term for baby kangaroos it didn't seem like much of an insult anymore. This was in the US, so it is unlikely that it was a reference to the british Joey Deacon, but perhaps one of the playground kids was an anglophile. Very odd.
• Yes - it's the Mighty Deacon, not the baby kangas. In the marsupial context, joeys are a euphamism for a lady's bumpy bits - e.g. Blimey, did you see the joeys on her!
• Original Joey Deacon thread.
• For some reason, I neglected to comment in that thread. I must have been on my best behaviour back then. Not like now, you no-good bunch of retards.