August 21, 2005

• You anti-social loners! Go out and find a partner, and have babies to pay taxes in the future. It's the only way civilisation will survive.
• It's the only way civilisation will survive. You say that like it's a good thing. Down with cohabitationism!
• I prefer to live with others, I like being part of a household. For me that means roommates, I'd prefer living with a partner but that's not happening for me right now. I was excited about living alone before I had actually done so, but I have a tendency to shut myself away from the world and it created a kind of negative feedback loop. The longer I stayed out of sight the less anyone called, and the less anyone called the less I thought they cared so the longer I stayed out of sight. I got very lonely.
• i've only lived with people for one year at college (which...did not go well) and one summer in college with a boyfriend-at-the-time (during which i was the roommate from hell. in retrospect, i'm surprised he was upset when i left). i've lived alone in the three years since college. i'm an only child and my parents don't get out much, so this is all very familiar to me, and moving in with my roommate in october is going to be a pretty big adjustment, certainly in terms of decorating... i take issue with a society that insists that anyone who is alone must inherently be lonely. some of us quite enjoy our own company much of the time.
• I understand Cali's perpsective as it is mine as well. I'm been putting most of my energy into my second degree and finding a job, and I got through my twenties without getting hitched, so I now unfortunately find myself pretty free to do as I like, but sans anyone with which to do it. I'm also one of those who turtle up every once in a while, so that most likely has a lot to do with it.
• I WISH I could live on my own for a little while, but there's no way in hell I could ever afford it with my student loan bills and car payment. I understand the enjoyment of being alone but not lonely. You can be surrounded by people and still be lonely. I currently have 3 roommates and I would absolutely love to have fewer (if not none) but like I said, my bank account can't handle it. Stupid, expensive, private college.
• More of our conservative newspapers are making broad, poorly supported generalizations about society going to hell in a handcart.... perhaps the WSJ would be happier and come up with better stories if it roomed with the LA Times for a while.
• I'm willing to make sacrifices to live alone. Even when I moved to NYC, I only had a roommate for 9 months before managing to get my own place (on a non-profit salary). And my roommate was nearly ideal, only home 2 weeks out of the month, and working night shift when she was home so I rarely saw her (she was a nurse). But I never truly feel comfortable when living with someone for financial reasons. The degree of cordiality required ensures that I can never really relax. I am a very social person; when I am home, I want complete and uninterrupted peace... unless I choose to invite someone over. Living with an SO is different, and I like that type of domestic rhythm, but again, I don't find it necessary to have a fulfilling relationship with someone.
• eharmony is the answer. Just ask NCW.
• Considering the vast number of people who went from parents to marriage directly just a couple of decades ago, this statistic probably represents unparalleled freedom. Not to mention prosperity.
• I've recently had the choice of living alone or spending considerably more to live with a lot of people, and gone with the latter. My experience with living alone is also a lot like Cali's. I do value solitude sometimes, even frequently, but for me it's a lot easier to go out for a walk or something when living with others than it is to conjure up some company when living alone.
• I took eharmony's tests which took like 20 minutes to finish. So I got done and guess what, "No matches found in your area." Thanks a lot! I knew that before I took the stupid tests -- that's WHY I took your test! That sound you hear is the fracturing of my already brittle self-esteem... I don't mind living alone so much, but I do get lonely and damn, I wish there was someone else to do the dishes just ONCE every so often!
• What do you mean "us", white man?
• perhaps the WSJ would be happier and come up with better stories That's the damnedest thing about editorial pages. They editorialize. (This was an editorial, not a story.)
• What kimdog said.....
• "Why should I go through the time and expense of placing a personal ad when the Journal has that empty editorial space that they're paying me to fill? Hmm... 'Like tear stains on old love letters...'" Living alone means that every day is optional pants day.
• The urge to find a partner, which generally means someone to live with, is fairly universal and pretty relentless. No - the urge to find someone to swap DNA with is fairly universal. Living with them is an altogether different matter.
• Is this the sort of thing that real people worry about? Is this what I'm missing being weird? Because if so I think I'm onto a good thing.
• MonkeyFilter: It's the only way civilization will survive. MonkeyFilter: That sound you hear is the fracturing of my already brittle self-esteem... MonkeyFilter: Living alone means that every day is optional pants day. Thank you, my fellow Monkeys. I don't feel quite so alone now. *sniffs. wipes tear.
• Burglars have got to love one-person households, methinks.
• I lived alone for 8 years, and I loved it....if I didnt live w/mr. medusa now I would probably still live alone.
• I've always lived in a menagerie. The important thing is to establish is that private time is important. So is that one's room is a sanctuary - you only enter someone else's with permission. Respect and cooperation is the key. Besides cooking for one sucks.
• Living alone means that every day is optional pants day. Speaking as one who doesn't live alone, every day is optional pants day in our house. You just gotta find the right person to live with.
• What about the vast number out there who have Aspergers Syndrome? Anyone out there who fits the profile?
• Somedays, waking alone in the bathroom seems better than waking besides someone you hate yourself for loving of course, that's IMHO IANmarried YMMV /post-weekend binge stress
• Somedays, wanking alone in the bathroom seems better than wanking besides someone you hate yourself for loving Amen to that.
• OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPS
• Oh, that crazy Quidnunc! What will he do next? Tune in next week to find out, on... Nobody but Quidnunc!
• OK just because I am the most tiresome loser here doesn't mean you have to point and jeer and spit and throw pencil shavings at me :(
• I've never lived alone, always with family or roommates and now, husband. I wanted to live alone for a long time but now the thought frightens me a little. I have the tendency to withdraw, and if I lived alone I'm afraid I'd eventually close myself off completely and become this creepy old woman who lives upstairs with 20 cats or something. And don't pick on quidnunc or I'll sic my cats on you. Not all of them have had their shots.
• I stare into the bathroom mirror wondering if there's not some error -- for most of my freckles are vanished away replaced by some whiskers that seem to be grey!
• I hate this assumption that if you're on your own, there's something wrong or dysfunctional about it. Here, the WSJ just assumes that all single-dwellers are lonely, which isn't the case at all. One can be just as lonely living with someone else. I choose to be on my own. I prefer it that way, and no doubt, I'm doing some unknown other person a favour by not living with them. I eat when I want, drink when I want, if my underwear gets left on the floor for two weeks, it's no-one's concern but mine. Yes, cooking for one stinks in that you face interminable leftovers, but it's balanced out by full and complete control of the remote. I'm surprised, though, that the WSJ is surprised by this many solo households. Sure, a lot of them are seniors with no spouse, and another good chunk are former students who kept up their old habits (or as they condescendingly put it, 'haven't settled down yet'). But I'm also sure a good chunk of this population are the divorced -- people who got out of a relationship and said 'enough of this shit, it's time for me.' Which may go back to the fundamental root of this phenomenon -- perhaps these households are the simple, inevitable result of a consumerist, individualist culture. I want MY space, and I want it ALL FOR MYSELF. Maybe. In living alone, I don't feel selfish, but I'm sure some people see it that way. I'm perfectly satisfied being on my own, and there's nothing wrong with being on my own. I don't need someone else to validate or justify my existence. If that's something you cannot understand, that's the result of your own limited imagination more than any inherent fault of my living arrangements.
• eharmony is the answer. Just ask NCW. Was that was snarky? Just wondering because I found the Neil Clark Warren interview to be surprisingly interesting. I didn't think he was saying that everyone should be in a relationship or involved, only that for those looking for marriage, his research helps.
• I had a roommate all the way through college which I think was good for me. After college, though, my parents really encouraged me to get my own place (even though it was crappier than I could have gotten with roommates). They wanted me to live alone for at least a year so that, later in life, I wouldn't feel compelled to stay in a bad relationship just because I was scared to live by myself. Since then, I've alternated living with roommates and by myself. I enjoy living alone, though I do get lonesome sometimes (and, like jccalhoun, it would be nice to have someone else deal with my messes occasionally). I find that when I'm lonesome, though, it's usually because I'm unhappy about something else, so I think if I live with someone in the future, it'll be a romantic partner.
• "Why aren't you married? Why don't you have kids?" "Haven't found the right person yet, I guess." "You know, there are no 'right' ones. You find someone you have affinities with and then, together, make it work out." "Easier said than done" "Of course, it's easier just to wallow in your selfishness, isn't it?" "Is it selfish to spare yourself and others from bad moments? And I'm sure having kids is just not for me..." "Well, just keep at it. Don't you always bitch about bad parents, about 'it's a crime the way some people breed and raise offspring'? What are you doing about this? Why don't you step up and raise intelligent, open-minded kids for the advance of humanity?" ... And so on. How many times I've had this conversation with someone...
• As one who lives in an area which has a housing shortage, bah to all you who live alone. When I hear about someone in this town who lives alone, or one other person, in a 600+ sq. foot home/apartment the blood boils in my veins. We have to pay a fortune for our tiny space because the owners of other tiny spaces want to live alone. Help out those with the demand by becoming one of the ones with the supply =( So says the guy paying $600/month for a 10x8 room. (No, not including utilities, or parking).
• I never lived alone until I was 38. I love it. Now my home has become the one place I never have to compromise.
• 600 bucks. Not bad. Signed, SF resident
• 600 bucks is bad. More is worse. Signed, Former SF resident
• 475 Canadian for a two bedroom with ten-foot ceilings and eight windows, third storey, right downtown. Signed, Gloating non-SF resident.
• 1000 for a decent sized 1BR with ten-foot ceilings, great light, no view and a 25 minute commute to Midtown. And still worth every fucking penny to live by myself. Signed, NYC resident
• my parents' mortgage on a 3 bedroom 100+ year old house on 2.3 acres is less than $1000 a month!
• San Francisco's diversity is great. The only thing that detracts from it is all those people living here.
• 475 Canadian for a two bedroom with ten-foot ceilings and eight windows, third storey, right downtown. WHAT?? Downtown where, Moncton?? That's unheard of in Winnipeg. 515 Canadian for a 1BR basement apartment with AC and dishwasher overlooking (underlooking?) a park, in hip n' happ'nin' Osborne Village.
• Ah, that takes me back. 1200 sq feet three bed for $750, downtown Winnipeg -- hwf, high ceilings, stained glass window, beautiful fixtures. Why did I leave there? Oh yeah, the scalding summers, the freezing winters, and mosquitoes all year round (they're just hiding behind the snowbanks, I swear).
• heh. $425 US for a small (800-900 sq ft) 2 bedroom house. I share a yard with a neighbor, but he mows it for me, and I get my own little garden.
• Of course, this means I have to live in the boonies of Ohio.
• Hey meredithea, fellow Ohioan :) Until I bought my house (7 years ago) I lived in a 2 bedroom, 2 floor townhouse in a decent location for $375 a month. (Though I was there for about 3 years, and I think they raised the rent after I left.)
• 'ja ever notice how single people living alone are obsessed with the amount of rent they pay???
• Not true. Most folks are. I don't live alone, and willing to bet that techsmith, living in a 2 bedroom 2 floor home, didn't live alone either.
• MonkeyFilter: I've always lived in a menagerie.
• Not sure how you mean that comment, BlueHorse, but it's more costly to live alone since you don't split any bills, so it seems normal that money would be more of an obsessive thing for singles.