August 19, 2005

• Bread Cheese Beetroot
• Can we outlaw wishing for world peace and ending hunger and stuff? That's just boring.
• 1. a time machine 2. instructions on operating said machine 3. immunity from temporal disruptions and anomalies
• Within the scope of our own lives, or wish wishes? Interestingly, I don't find that my answeres don't depend that. To have my cynicism refuted. To be remembered. To do (admittedly, subjectively) well, both within the scope of my family, friends and own life. But I kind of dig roryk's answers...
• 1. I wish I can wish more wishes 2. More wishes ...
• I always wanted something to the tune of: 1. the wisdom to live my life to the fullest 2. the means to make a difference in teh world 3. Spiderman's powers
• 1. Good health. 2. Winning lottery ticket. 3. Great piano playing skills.
• 1. uncursed magic marker 2. blessed fireproof +2 speed boots 3. blessed greased rustproof +2 helm of brilliance Alternately, two scrolls of charging, but you said no wishing for more wishes.
• I've actually thought about this a lot, and here's what I've come up with. I've made them broad-reaching so that the maximum number of people could be affected by a single wish. 1. I wish that I and everyone in my family (including the wife's immediate family, in-laws, nephews, but no further out than that) would be completely healthy and free of disease for the rest of our lives. "Disease" is clarified mean EVERYTHING, from diabetes (which I've got--hey presto, I'm healed) to sinus infections to West Nile Virus to AIDS to tooth decay to alcoholism to lung cancer (smokes for everyone!) to everything. Depending on the genie this might also include no injuries, but I'd be happy enough if it were just the diseases. 2. Further, I wish that I can instantly discover and patent the long-term final cure for type-1 diabetes. This wish serves two purposes. One, it cures diabetes (I know I've already lost mine from the first wish, but having had the disease for 17 years now, I want it fucking gone from the planet), meaning that scourge is gone. (Type 2 would still be around, but hey, stop eating those Oreos and get some exercise.) The second purpose is it makes me rich and I don't have to work anymore. Hey, I'm not a saint. 3. I dunno, world peace or some shit. The first two pretty much cover everything I want.
• 3 (revised) (didn't see the world peace disclaimer at the top)-- Mind control powers.
• I've always thought that in these scenarios, one should make sure to wish for very specific things in order to avoid the omnipresent problem of evil genies and other wish-givers. Whenever they start seeing that a genie is evil in the movies, they never tailor their wishes accordingly. So, that having been said, my wishes are: 1) To have 50 million dollars, legally acquired and without requiring the death or injury of another, upon which my taxes have already been paid, and spendable by me at the rate I desire. 2) To live to 120 years old in perfect health the entire time, both physical and mental, without changing physical appearance after age 40 even if I decide to gorge myself on chocolates or other horrible foods every day. 3) To live in a free community full of intelligent, highly sexual men and women who enjoy my company and vice versa, with whom I will conceive, bear, and raise one or two healthy, very intelligent offspring. ******* Now of course, a really asshole genie can make things go wrong in any of these scenarios. He'd make sure I owed some obscene amount of back taxes for a castle in scotland that would obliterate the cash, he'd make it so that somehow on my 40th birthday I looked worse than ever before in my life, and the children I raised would turn out to be Republicans. But at least I'd have tried.
• *Stops eating Oreos and runs on spot* OMG!
• 1. An immovable object. 2. An unstoppable force. 3. Earplugs
• TenaciousPettle, you do realize that an evil genie would make your family disease-free by making a nuclear bomb instantly destroy you all? And then they'd all love your diabetes cure and give you the nobel prize in medicine posthumously.
• I always liked the one where if you reached into your pocket for money, you'd always have the right form/denomination/amount for whatever you were about to buy. That was a good one. Secondly, some sort of 'perfect health' thing. Including allergies/intolerances. If we can combine this with an ability to stop aging, great. If not, make that #3. (Death would still be available, but only by conscious choice/accident, and I'm willing to let that go.) Stop aging includes age-related degeneracies, specifically brain-related. If this can't be done, I want to be in a Mi-Go brain cylinder. Alternately, magic wordprocessor. Like in Stephen King.
• 1. Holodeck, complete with full set of safeties and Catherine Deneuve program. 2. Independent weath allowing me the time and means to enjoy said holodeck with Catherine Deneuve program. 3. A new body instead of this old junker that will never allow me to fail said Catherine Deneuve program. My needs are modest. And geeky.
• And a bit scary. I'm surprised at myself.
• 1. For no one to ever again know the feeling of impending and unavoidable death. 2. To have every person realize fully that other people are *people* too, with lives, thoughts and existence every bit as rich and worthwhile as our own. 3. To be, in all the best ways, like James Bond.
• Nobody posited that it was an evil genie. I kinda hope it's like the Robin Williams/Disney genie myself. Or better yet, like Barbara Eden. Except with navel exposure. I have a navel fetish.
• Pretty much the same: 1. Continued total good health & long life for everyone in my family & all my friends. 2. A million dollars! /dr. evil 3. Something selfless like the cure for cancer or world peace or national health insurance. I used to think I would wish for all the weapons in the world to be turned into gold, thus screwing up the gold standard and the warmongering in one swell foop, but now that I'm not 16 anymore I have a feeling this wouldn't work out quite as well as I thought. Also, like Lyle Lovett, I would like a pony. And a yacht.
• That's like nine wishes!
• I would like for my penis to be able to speak to people. I would like to have Woody Allen direct Parts 7-9 of the Star Wars Series. I would like to do TenaciousPettle's bidding.
• No, man, it's five. But I can buy my own pony and yacht with my million dollars. It's just for if the genie is experiencing temporary minor cash flow problems and can't hand over the $$ immediately.
• SHOW ME YOUR NAVEL!!!
• *Hoiks shirt / wiggles*
• 1. Complete Invulnerability (to starvation, dehydration, suffocation, depressurization, implosion, explosion, organ failure, aging, crushing, disease, psychological, and physical damage 2. The ability to invent anything I wanted. I would then create and solely control an über powerful, and completely renewable fuel (i.e. super ethanol, or such, but it can only be made from moss growing in my super secret underground lair) I also would invent a suit of armor that would make Iron Man look like a parapalegic kitten. 3. The power to shut off the entire Internet whenever I wanted. With these powers, I would install myself as king of the world. And you would all bow before me. MUAHHHH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!!
• 1. loose shoes. 2. tight pussy. 3. a warm place to shit.
• Mine are much like the squids: 1. health 2. happiness 3. love -- if I had a fourth wish, it would be something along the lines of being useful to the world.
• I think drivingmenuts is on to something. Of course, my wishes would be very simple, the standard "happiness, healthiness, productivity" ones, but I'd have so many clauses and provisos that even an evil genie would have to summon the power of a diabolic mind like Tom Delay's to wiggle any punitive results in there.
• I wonder how fullfilling something like wealth or happiness would be if you knew it was magic, rather than rightfullly earned. The invulnerability/no disease is a great one, but I think my Spider Powers would protect me pretty good. And I could stick to walls. STICK TO WALLS!
• 1. A long & healthy life for my daughter. 2. Enough money to pay off my house. 3. A wormhole for quick trips to anywhere on earth.
• 1. the ability not to fear things that are not physically dangerous. 2. however much money (typo: monkey) it takes to keep my parents, myself, and any mate and/or children i may acquire comfortable, in addition to letting me travel a lot more. 3. the ability and desire to do something meaningful and useful to the world.
• 1. That I can return to my home planet. 2. That humans will develop the technology to allow such a trip. 3. That this is done before *the* catastropic asteroid that is currently on trajectory for Earth (but unbeknown to its inhabitants), strikes the planet and leaves it decimated for *all* eternity. That is all
• Squid....you could get an operation for #2, you know? 1- The opportunity to use my geek powers for the forces of good- I want to write programs that process data from DNA and proteins and stuff to help find the causes and/or cures to various ailments. 2- The ideas/motivation/spare time to make more creative things- photo projects, games, t-shirts, buttons, gadgets, doodads, whatsits, things, stuff. 3- Magical powers. Seriously. It would improve the quality of my everyday life- I could use magic to easily prepare dinner, or transport myself hundreds of miles instead of spending hours in an uncomfortable car or plane. Also, using my talents from with #2, I could make myself a superhero costume and roam the city by night, fighting crime and helping damsels in distress. It would be awesome.
• And I could stick to walls. STICK TO WALLS! Weezel, here's some velcro. Knock yourself out ;) Of course, that would mean that you'd have to velcro every single wall that you want to stick to, but.... Could I wish to have the power to make other people's wishes come true?
• 1. 500000 bees 2. all the world leaders 3. a silo. Alternately, 1. 5000 angry midget luchadors 2. All the world leaders 3. That meeting room at the UN with doors welded shut.
• 1 Something to eat 2 Something to drink 3 Sometone to love (and be loved) I don't need any of this right now, so I hope these wishes don't have an expiry date. I forsee I'll need them in the future, though.
• - Inaccesible tropical island, away from hurricane zones, for my close family and loved ones - Perfect health and stamina - That everyone on the planet becomes unable to tell lies. After the decade-long revolutions, wars, riots, bloodshed and 'passion-driven killings', guess civilization (if there remains one...) will start to learn how to give in peace.
• ...how to live in peace. But the typo sounds good, too.
• 1. Like, 18+ Charisma, Strength AND Dexterity. 2. Like, a MILLION hit points. 3. Like, some friends.
• That everyone on the planet becomes unable to tell lies. Dude! PEACE??? It'd be the end of all civilization! The people who weren't slaughtered outright in the resulting bloodbath would be forced to either rip out their own tongues or live hermitlike in the shittiest corners of the planet, for fear of running into any fellow humans and telling them what they really think. Because of Flagpole, I think we're going to have to kill the genie. Quidnunc? Time to break out the ol' Vorpal, my man.
• Let me be the first to start off with this no-lies road to world peace. Flagpole, on you, that shirt really does looks like a pile of barf.
• 1. A twelve-inch pianist. I'll get back to you on the other two.
• 1. Easy 2. Breeezy 3. Covergirl Unless it's Maybelline, that is
• Flagpole, on you, that shirt really does looks like a pile of barf. Oh, yeah? Well, eh, you all SMELL LIKE MONKEYS!
• 1. To crush my enemies 2. To see them driven before me 3. To hear the lamentations of their women
• /looks down at shirt oh cripes, it does look like a pile of barf...
• Well, here's my three wishes for the monkeyfilter community: 1. no more posts about Metafilter. 2. no more, "I'm too lazy to go to google to look it up so I'll just post here" posts 3. more xp for my Urban Dead character so I can kick some ass.
• Flagpole, I keed, I keed. It doesn't look like barf. More like wet, burnt mustard.
• With some soggy croutons in it.
• And what looks like an undigested macaroon.
• But seriously, I keed.
• Goetter wins!
• 1. Immortal 2. Wealthy 3. Wise
• /looks around for covert spy camera /goes off to change shirt, sobbing
• Flagpole, I feel bad. To make it up to you, have some time in my holodeck. You can't use the Catherine Deneuve program, but the database of other French actresses IS pretty extensive... Huppert, Tautou, Sagnier, Gainsbourg, Delpy -- whatever you need.
• Mmmm.... Julie Delpy *drools*
• "Drools?" Well, I doubt Ms. Delpy would appreciate that little remark, pal.
• Mmmmm... Julie Delpy *muses idly about meeting her accidentally when he borrows my pen at the bank, then striking up conversation which results in us going to get a coffee together - laughing, smiling, the sun shining down on us, a light breeze tousling her hair as we sit at the cafe. Coffee, inevitably, turns to dinner, and it's a whirlwind of delight... she reaches down and touches the top of my hand, I blush, she smiles knowingly, I smile back. In the cab to an out of the was place she knows, where only locals go, she surreptitiously kisses me just below my ear where my throat meets my jaw, and nuzzles into the crook of my arm against the evening chill flowing in through the open cab window. "Take me home," she whispers as her eyes seek mine over her Pernod and water. I do, and we make gentle, passionate love until dawn touches our bare skins and we, exhausted, slump back amongs the scented sheets and pillows as the birds, awaking for a new day, begin singing in the courtyard under the open window as the stars wink out in response to the gathering dawn.* *then we have some seriously haute buttsex*
• - rhythm. - music. - actually, who could ask for anything more? * sits innocently on a desert island as Julie Delpy's yacht sails by *
• furiousdork--don't even think about wishing for My Gal. *shakes fist*
• Eh, no shapeshifting?
• /Flagpole returns wearing puffy shirt Oh, OK Capt., no hard feelings. I'll book, say, four hours with Eva Green.
• 1. smoking would not be harmful 2. fluency in all languages 3. a billion dollars
• 1) Free Running. 2) Construction. 3) Head Shot.
• Fes, your a true perv. Pretend away.
• 1) holodeck (don't even ASK what I want it for!) 2) the coffeeshop boy 3) perfect eyebrows...
• 1. That the entertainment industry would quit producing so much inane crap 2. The destruction of Wal-Mart 3. The ability to chop veggies like Martin Yan
• a)that magic, all described in fantasy novels and the like, and even earlier religions, would be returned to the earth. b)Immortality for me and my life mate. c)Endless amounts of knowldge about everything. =)

• cobaltnine I always liked the one where if you reached into your pocket for money, you'd always have the right form/denomination/amount for whatever you were about to buy. That was a good one.

  try the euro zone. it's a good one. really, it's unbelievably cool to be able to go to germany, belgium, the netherlands, ireland, portugal, spain, greece, and so on, without any change in money. this is close to magical for us, but will be quotidianary for our children.
• this is why we can`t have anything nice in this neighborhood, (looks around surreptitiously), waves Chyrens feathers and rattle under full moon,sounding louder.
• The impossible: 1. The ability to grant eternal life, health, and youth to all those I choose (myself included.) 2. A fully functional TARDIS, staffed by K-9 and Romana. 3. Invisibility The improbable: 1. Enough money to live comfortably without having to work 2. Unlimited funds to run archaeological digs across the world. 3. The girl who got away...
• Ooh, ooh, I used to think about this a lot when I was a kid. The three I settled on: 1. The ability to speak, read, write and otherwise communicate in any language (including non-verbal languages) with the same fluency and facility I have in English. 2. The ability to play any instrument (including my own voice!) with the facility of a world-class virtuoso. 3. That, while retaining these new powers, I would forget that I was granted the wishes and that the thought would never occur to me or anybody else, so that I might not go through the rest of my life being tortured by the thought of all the things I could have wished for. I always thought that was the real kicker in the three wishes thing. An evil genie doesn't even have to twist your words into something horrible: they just have to let you go about the rest of your life second guessing what you could have wished for.
• I've thought about this many times before as well...it's gotten quite specific...and odd. Keep in mind the genie couldn't be known about by other people. 1. The ability to change my appearance at will by thinking of what I want to change. This could be useful when getting ready for work, etc. First thing? I'd make my irises purple. 2. For some obscenely rich person, like the one who rented Versailles for his daughters wedding, to become somehow extremely grateful to me, so that I would receive, as a tax-free gift, billions upon billions of dollars. Without anything horrible happening. 3. To be the fastest and strongest person on the planet (without looking like a bodybuilder).
• musingmelpomene wants to live in a Heinlein universe.
• musingmelpomene is going to be crushed to death by $50million dollars.
• >I'll book, say, four hours with Eva Green. Tres bien, monsieur. Monsieur has an eye for quality.
• 1. I wish to be happy with what I have. 2. I wish for those I love to be happy. 3. Oh what the heck: I wish for the whole world to be happy. ;- )
• Biffa, if each 1 dollar bill weighs 1 gram, then $50 million weigh 50 metric tons. We will have a very flat musingmelpomene.
• 1. To always have in my life the kind of love where each of you feels completed by the other. 2. To not experience my body breaking down as I age. 3. To do work that consistently puts me in a flow state, and make enough money doing it that I don't have money worries. Failing all that, squid's list sounds pretty good.
• Also, if any of you knows Angelina Jolie, let me know, because my girlfriend has made one exception to her totally arbitrary no-threesomes-ever rule and agreed to go for it if it's Ms. Jolie who makes three.
• Doohicky: I like the way you think. Happy pretty much covers it all.
• 1. The ability to become invisible. 2. The ability to be where I want, when I want. 3. Enough time to go behind all the closed doors.
• 3. Enough time to go behind all the closed doors. You know, for a time, one recurring fantasy of mine was to become sort of an invisible, etheral entity that could wander and explore every closed door, every house, every drawer and safe, every building, everywhere on this planet. Wanted to know all the secrets, to see all those hidden things, to know the truth. I doubt I would habe become very happy, of course. But this was during my post-teenage dark period.
• Ha, this reminded me those old lyrics... guess Trent Reznor's three (well, four) ones are good choices, too? I want to know everything I want to be everywhere I want to fuck everyone in the world I want to do something that matters The downward spiral
• I think HawthorneWingo's Flow State sounds pretty good. I need me some of that.