August 17, 2005

Piersh Broshnan makesh it offishial. In the leasht shurprishing newsh shurrounding the Jamesh Bond dynashty, Piersh hash been outshted. Not a bad shpell, I'd shay, but obvioushly Broshnan never reached the hieghtsh of the true mashta, but letsh be honesht -- Shean ish a shingula pershonality, and there CAN only be one.

Let me get the debate started by claiming Pierce as the second-best Bond (excluding Connery of course, whose supremacy is clearly beyond doubt). Other rankings? Who would you like to see take the role next, only to be forever typecast and subject to silly debates like this?

posted by Capt. Renault 19 years ago
  • (I should be clearer in my rankings -- Brosnan number two after the underrated Lazenby, both of whom are far behind Sean. And now that I've favourably mentioned Lazenby, let the flamewar begin.)
  • I'll take Brosnan second, and a close second at that. I rather liked Dalton, actually, but he was completely screwed by some *terrible* scripts. He was probably the best actor to take the role. (He'd make an awesome villain. Those eyes, dude, those eyes.) Moore last, whatever. It's pretty impressive how much better the last few films have been, at least in terms of the writing and plot. They're still cheesy and all, but they're much more accomplished as films in their own right. I think it comes from a generation of film makers steeped in the genre, and who actually truly love the form. Die Another Day's references to all the previous films, for example, and the Denching of M. I'd bet on Clive Owen for the next Bond, with a slight change in character to bring the character darker, more complex and a lot more sinister, back closer to the original books. The next film is Casino Royale, which is actually pretty twisted as a story, so that would be the way to go.
  • The next Bond has got to be Vin Diesel. Like the common houselfy, Vin Diesel regurgitates acid on his food before consuming it in liquid form. You can't beat that for qualifications.
  • I could see Russell Crowe as a Bond.... maybe... Also, I don't know his name and I'm too lazy to go to IMDB... but the guy from "The Transporter" would be cool, if they wanted to give Bond a slight "edge" Bad choices for Bond: Jaleel White Jackie Chan Jessica Simpson Kim Jong Il
  • Odd that you should post that, dng, as I always thought Eccleston would make a great Bond. Him or Ewan McGregor. Thing is, though, with genuinely talented actors, you run the risk of them outperforming the material, or simply becoming bored. If we take the example of Ewan, he could clearly have a LOT of fun with the material -- or his spirit would be crushed by the sheer machinery attached to the franchise. *coughObiWancough* The risk of too-good-an-actor also applies to Clive Owen. He could do a lot with it, but there's an equal risk that he wouldn't find the material enough of a challenge. (Certainly not to take it on for more than one movie.) What we need a great B-movie actor who knows he will be forever marked by his stint, and looks forward to it.
  • I loved Pierce Brosnan as Bond, but then I've had a mad crush on him since I was 10 and he was Remington Steele. The absolute best pop culture rumor I ever heard was that David Bowie (my other object of desire) had been offered the role of a Bond villian, and would be starring with Brosnan. Even though it wasn't true, the sheer beauty of the idea made me weep for joy. Luckily, Brosnan has had some strong success outside the Bond franchise with Thomas Crown Affair and After the Sunset. Damn if doesn't just get sexier with age.
  • I am totally not a fan of the Bond series. I've seen lots of them because they always seem to be on tv, but I can't say I honestly LIKE any of them. Goldfinger is probably the closest I come to liking them. Be funny and campy or be serious. One or the other, not both!
  • Ewan McGregor gets my vote.
  • I think McGregor, cool as he would be, is a little too boyish in his charm to be a proper Bond. Owen's the man, for me, but he seems to be ruling himself out. Failing that, Dougray Scott, all the damn way. He's got that little bit of nastiness to him that all the best Bonds (Dalton included) have had. It's a shame that Sean Bean's already been in the series as 006, cuz he'd be fine too. I can't believe that they turned down the offer of a Tarantino/Brosnan pairing for Casino Royale. That would have killed arse.
  • Bad choices for Bond: Kim Jong Il WHAT YOU SAY?!
  • Bruce Campbell.
  • I doubt he'd do it, but I'd love to see Christian Bale as Bond.
  • [ ] pope [ ] darth quidnunc [ ] the small-change avenger! [ ] quidnuncbashi [ ] Dr Whom [x] nunc. quid nunc - 007.
  • Bond rankings: Sean Connery (Phase I: Dr. No-You Only Live Twice) Pierce Brosnan Sean Connery (Phase 3: Never Say Never Again) Roger Moore (I kind of like his earlier movies, but the later ones are embarassing) Sean Connery (Phase 2: Diamonds Are Forever) Timothy Dalton David Niven George Lazenby Clive Owen would be awesome (think of The Croupier or the Bourne Identity). I love Ewan McGregor, but he doesn't have the gravitas and he wouldn't be able to show off his schlong. It's a shame that Sean Bean's already been in the series as 006, cuz he'd be fine too. Well, Charles Gray played Dikko Henderson in You Only Live twice and Blofeld in Diamonds Are Forever, so maybe they could have the same guy plan a bad guy and Bond.
  • Daniel Craig would be my first choice. Julian McMahon might work...
  • More bad choices: Rowan Atkinson Ali G
  • Oh, I'll play your game, you rogue.
  • Bond rankings: ...(various morons)... Timothy Dalton TIMOTHY DALTON WAS THE GREATEST BOND EVER! /quidnunc misses Buffy. Andrew for Bond, anyone?
  • Geek Squad! Andrew for Bond! Warren for Moneypenny! Jonathan as Q!
  • Faith as (my) Pussy Galore. I beg you.
  • I can't believe noone has put in a bid for Peter Sellers. As for next? Well, I'd love to see Gary Oldman, but then he can do anything. And thirds on Eccleston.
  • timothy dalton was unquestionably the best. bruce campbell might be good. but what about... rollins?! or maybe vinnie jones.
  • I have seen only one of the movies. It was one of the more recent ones. I thought that it was an awful modern action movie. Perhaps the series deserves some credit for inventing/influencing the modern action movie/hero, but the movie I saw was obvious, not funny, boring, and inane (and fairly well-reviewed, as I recall).
  • Connery - always the best Bond. Brosnan - should have been the next Bond a long time ago. Lazenby - was much better than most people realize. Dalton - not very entertaining, but still better than ... Moore - an OK actor, but really, wound up being another boring face. Actually, all his good stuff was in other movies.
  • Sean Connery was always, and always will be the best Bond, especially the early ones with minimal gadgets. Lazenby I think was second best, I know I'm not the only one out there who wishes he had been given more roles in the character. Dalton was funny as hell in the role, especially driving the tank while non-challantly flipping his tie over his shoulder *classic* Bond. . Then of course Dalton, who will be missed in the role, he shouldered it well, unlike Roger Moore, who I could never accept in the role, and who's Bond movies I've either seen only once or not at all. Not even the underwater Lotus. . *sigh* Clive Owen would make a good Bond, and those who have seen Ewan McGregor in 'Down With Love' know he would be the cat's pajamas as 'The Bondster'. So how many knew the character's personal appearence was based on Hoagy Carmichael?
  • I can't believe noone has put in a bid for Peter Sellers. That's because he didn't play James Bond, he played a person pretending to be James Bond.
  • also: michael caine. the original proto-bond.
  • Clive Owen would be, umm....yeah. Definitely. Rupert Everett would be good too, but he won't get asked because he's openly gay. Lame. That's why they call it acting.
  • Connery was my favorite, Lazenby second. Then Dalton and Brosnan, finally Moore. Clive Owen has my vote for next, not only cuz he's teh sexxy, but also cuz he's an Owen. I suppose Ewan McGregor would be ok. Gary Oldman's too old and weird for Bond. Russell Crowe would be an interesting choice, but maybe not sophisticated enough. Christian Bale, I love him, but he's wrong for Bond. He's got that funny underbite and slight lisp (which I find endearing, but not for Bond). Bruce Campbell, again, I love him, but he's got a camp image. Gotta be Clive Owen.
  • Lucy Lawless would make a great James Bond. C'mon you guys aren't being creative enough.
  • Jude Law is the next Bond
  • Dalton was the only one who resembled the real Bond (the real one being the one in the books, of course, which no doubt dates me). He had the thin, cruel mouth and the cold expression. All of the Bond movies are dreadful, of course, and so were the books.
  • But let's not forget that Ian Fleming based the character in his books on Hoagy Carmichael
  • Funny, Hoagy Carmichael looks sometning like Kevin Spacey but with a bigger nose. . . Kevin Spacey... James Bond. . . Hmmmmmmm . . .
  • The role of James Bond must at all costs be kept away from David Spade.
  • Capt. Renault, you rule. Best FPP ever.
  • I agree that Johnathan Stratham, aka dude from the Transporter, would rock. However, I have a big crush on him (ohhhh... the voice...), so I'd watch him in most things.
  • I think you'll need an actor that isn't well known for Bond, because you get a Dalton type in there with pretentions to doing other 'serious' work and he'll only do two movies in fear of being typecast. Brosnan was always too little physically for Bond, and he's not a great actor. He actually turned me off the Bond series completely. Bond is a tall, physically impressive character in the books. It's probably time for a black James Bond. Mind you, after Connery left the franchise, the whole thing turned to shit, and it never was that fantastic anyway. IMHO, they need to permanently set the Bond stories in the 60s cold war era.
  • Brosnan was good cos when he was fighting, he actually looked like he was trying to fucking kill the other guy. Which is what I want my international spies to do. For England, James!
  • > Who would you like to see take the role next matthew macfadyen, though he might be on the young side.
  • I'm just glad to see that Moore is doing so poorly in the rankings -- it's hard not to root for Scaramanga or Zorin to finally finish that wanker off. (Aah, Scaramanga -- one of my favourite villains, if only for the reason that he could only be identified by his superfluous nipple, and lo and behold, he was found at the pool. Brilliant.)
  • The more I think about it, the more Kevin Spacey seems ideal for the role. He resembles, to some extent Hoagy Carmichael, who the character's facial appearence is based on, and think about the way he raises one eyebrow in his movie roles... Just kidding...
  • *gasps* um. Richard Dean Anderson? ho ho ho.
  • Julian MacMahon would be ideal. The man who spent five years as the poor man's David Boreanaz could step with ease into the role of the poor man's Piers Brosnan. Failing that, Ross Kemp. Ross Kemp is the perfect Bond. Suave, sophisticated, deadly and able to integrate any weapons system in the world into his body for the purposes of slapping the French. Failing _that_, how about Colin Salmon?
  • > Ross Kemp is the perfect Bond. plus he's married to the (current but perhaps not for much longer) editor of the sun, so no problem on the movie reviews.
  • Allright, if we're not being creative enough -- Don Cheadle. Seriously. Dude's got talent to burn, can handle any kind of material, and, from what my ignant North American ears can tell, can do a decent English accent. Bit short, perhaps, but if we're playing with the paradigm as it is, might as well go all the way.
  • Ving Rhames.
  • Mathew St.Patrick! Dude! Seriously! Plus, he already was a secret agent on All My Children, so he has some experience. Enh? ENH?
  • cary elwes!
  • agree that Johnathan Stratham, aka dude from the Transporter, would rock. However, I have a big crush on him (ohhhh... the voice...) Can't be that much of a crush, as his name is Jason Statham ;-)
  • Don Cheadle... can do a decent English accent. You... you don't mean that, er, noise that he made in Ocean's 11/12, do you? Surely, that's not what you can mean. Surely. For the love of Jesus.
  • I did qualify that statement by making reference to my ignant North American ears...
  • Okay, fair point.
  • Dylan Moran: Bond realizes that he hates people anyway, says sod it to the whole Double O wankery, and ends up opening a small bookshop...
  • YES!!
  • I absolutely approve of this suggestion.
  • Only if he's drunk or hung over through the whole movie, natch.
  • I know this thread is over, but I missed it. My vote goes to Julian Carey. Or perhaps Jonathan Ross. Craig Charles would make a wholly excellent Bond.
  • David Schwimmer? Nah.
  • I've heard they're considering Daniel Craig for the next Bond.
  • You beat me to it Koko - I would have suggested Daniel Craig. Ross Kemp as 007 ??????????????? The unfunny Al Murray? I only hope for the sake of my sanity that that was sarcasm ...
  • Big Gay Al!
  • Andy Dick.
  • W.
  • Bono.
  • Christopher Eccleston!
  • Can't be that much of a crush, as his name is Jason Statham ;-) posted by jalexei at 07:30PM UTC on August 18, 2005 Bah! Oh well, spelling is for suckers, anyway :)
  • More bad choices: Rowan Atkinson See, I have faith that if, for whatever reason, Atkinson were to attempt it, his Bond would be amazing. His Doctor Who (Comed Relief) was just about my favorite after Eccleston. Different, but hilarious. And he can be very dashing (B2 with the beard? And that man has great legs - I know, I've seen them in tights). Some of the other bad choices might not be so bad - Jackie Chan? Again, a very good actor known only for his silly roles. But he is really very good, and would be far more convincing in the fight scenes. My personal vote is for Dreadnought because a) he's powerfully sexually attractive to women and b) he's already a spy. He tells me he just studies them, but I know he's just trying to protect me.
  • If anybody knew who James Purefoy was, you'd all agree that he'd be the best James Bond. It needs someone less well known than Clive Owen et al. Although I'm sure Dreadnought would be outstanding.
  • Nought, Dread Nought. I like it.
  • LandofGreenGinger has a point, especially if you've seen Bedrooms and Hallways. As an added bonus, you'll never be able to look at Agent Smith the same way again!
  • Of course, Connery would have jammed the teeth back into the bloody gum himself, knocked back a bottle of something, patted Werner Herzog on the back, and gotten back to work! And if they don't use that take for the final cut, it'll be such a waste.
  • They should have just chosen that guy from Highlander - the TV Series.
  • Connery would have jammed the teeth back into the bloody gum himself And then make this? Methinks the elder Bond statesman has fallen from grace somewhat.
  • Note how the article puts George "one hit wonder" Lazenby in as a 'tough guy' but leaves out Timothy "forgettable Bond" Dalton (actually, the only Bond not mentioned in the same list). Dis! Especially since Lazenby could only look tough in that flick because he was going toe to toe with Telly "freakin" Savalas. He was wearing a dress in the movie and pretending to be a celibate, bookish pushover, fer chrissakes. Who loves ya, Timmy?
  • And then make this? You're the man now, dawg.
  • Hey! Lazenby was a martial-arts instructor in the Australian Army before becoming a catalog model!
  • Marital arts... go figure.
  • Yeah, well, we cain't have aah boys not knowin' how to please theh sheilah, now kin we?
  • With Lazenby's chin all Ribbed For Her Pleasure, I expect he'd please them completely.
  • As for Eva Green, not bad. Wasn't too impressed by her acting in Kingdom of Heaven, but as a Bond Girl, acting doesn't really have much to do with it (see Ekland, Britt). So on that purely superficial level, Eva would be more of a girly Bond Girl than I'd like. This would put her squarely in the middle of the pack -- well above Denise Richards at the bottom, but still quite a ways from my Queen.
  • Ah, a classic choice there Capt., but I have to go for this dame though that Bond film is my favourite, so perhaps I elevate all the aspects: best villain, best one-lines, best use of a bowler hat, etc.
  • Granted, Pussy has far more spunk, and that lesbian subcontext she has going with her fellow lady-pilots is a remarkable achievement in the history of the franchise. And while I'd sacrifice a non-essential limb to have Pussy, Honey Ryder or Mrs. Tracy Bond, and to a lesser degree Wai Lin or Miranda Frost, of the Bond Girls, it is only Tatiana that has the power to make me forget my own name. And yes, Goldfinger features the best use of a bowler hat. But I'll always prefer Lotte Lenya and her knives-in-her-pratical-shoes. "Is your clock correct?" "Russian klocks are always korr--" KA-BOOOOM!!! Heh heh.
  • Monkeyfilter: Granted, Pussy has far more spunk
  • As a chick. my criteria for favorite Bond girl are probably a lot differnt, but Michelle Yeoh's Wai Lin tops the list for me. Diana Rigg is a sentimental favorite.
  • Lotte Lenya and her knives-in-her-pratical-shoes. Ah yes, good point. I can see her giving the anorexic waifs in stilettos what for with her footwear.
  • damn, TUM beat me to it.
  • Panshy-boy Danny Craig shignsh up for shecond shtab at Jamesh. Preshumably, thish means he doeshn't shuck.
  • I can't believe no one has put in a bid for Peter Sellers. That's because he didn't play James Bond, he played a person pretending to be James Bond. Philistine! The original Casino Royale was definently the best Bond flick. How can you not like a movie where Woody Allen plays James Bond's nephew?! As far as the women go the only true Bond girl is the original
  • *picks up Captain Renault's dentures, hands them to him*
  • David Niven. 'Nuff said.
  • Good thing it wasn't Larry Niven. That would really be a Bond skewed not shaken.
  • Shirley Bashshey he'sh not. (Tom Jonesh ish shtill alive, and not bushy -- shupposhe we gave him a shecond shpin?)
  • Tom Jones is So bushy!
  • Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Lookit that head o' hair!
  • Shurely hirshute.
  • P. Diddy still wants to be first black Bond. Also -- tucked in at the bottom -- Bond's gun from Dr. No to be sold at Christies. DIBS. So back off, you wolves! There'sh a pishtol for shale I musht purchashe.
  • Let's lift a martini to Bond 1.0. Barry Nelson, passed away at age 89.
  • Cheers, James. I would have liked to have seen your take on suave. Perhaps someday, eh Mr. Bond? Mmmmmhehheheh. . mehahhahAhahahaa. MUWHAhahAHahahahaaaa!! *strokes cat, spills drink*
  • New villain. New girl. Other new girl. Producers Michael G Wilson and Barbara Broccoli said Camille "challenges Bond and helps him come to terms with the emotional consequences of Vesper's betrayal". "Emotional consequences"? Aww, maaaaaan! Number 22 is gonna be all Daltony... As for the villain, could work. Bond girl one, cute, but average in the Bond girl pantheon, still hit it. Bond girl two, not a lot of oomph there, hit it nevertheless.
  • Take a letter, Miss Moneypenny: Royal Mail issues James Bond stamps to celebrate Ian Fleming's 100th birthday
  • I didn;t know they had made new St. Trinian's movies. And with Rupert Everett?
  • The latesht movie now hash a monikah -- Quantum of Sholash. Dunno. Yeah, it's 'original', but it sounds both sciencey/Moonrakerish and emotional/Daltony. Mind you, having the word 'quantum' in there is better than when they came up with "Licence to Kill" rather than "Licence Revoked" on the basis that not too many Americans would know what 'revoked' meant...
  • However, having the new girl named 'Fields' is inspired, as it leads to all sorts of double entendres -- planting Fields, ploughing Fields, Fields of joy, etc. The script writes itself at that point.
  • Excuse me, could I have a quantum of Sholash on my pasta, please?
  • Quantum of Solace sounds like a really stupid title. Yes I am a little irritable today. But still.
  • I enjoy reading the word "titular."
  • I'm at a loss as to what the pr0n version will be.
  • Kwan's Cum of Solace?
  • Yeah...all I got is 'Quantum of Saul's Ass', but that would only work for Jewish gay pr0n, which is a niche market.
  • Heh. "Niche".
  • Excuse me, waiter, I didn't get my quantum of salsa.
  • Quantum of Soul Ass. Soul sister. Gettit?
  • Condom in Sol's ass,
  • TUM FTW Let there be poems on the subject, and a movie nite at TUM's house. I'll bring the salsa.
  • you want some seltzer with your salsa?
  • When my mother was a teenager in Edinburgh, she used to go to a public swimming pool where the lifeguard was some young hotshot local actor named Sean Connery. She said he was an egotistical asshole.
  • That'sh imposhshible...
  • I thought it was well known that Sean Connery was not exactly the nicest bloke in RL. He slapped women around, etc. Ego? Of course! I haven't met an actor yet who hasn't got an ego, & to be honest, they need it. And Connery was also a body builder, which is even more fuckin egomaniacal.
  • I read an anecdote about the filming of Another Time, Another Place that had him taking Johnny Stompanato out behind the woodshed and giving him a taste of his own medicine (apparently Johnny was known to smack around girlfriend Lana Turner, Connery's co-star).
  • Then again, maybe he was just like that as a youngin'. We should allow people the opportunity to change, n'est pas? (he said, aiming the comment at himself) "The Governor paused and looked reflectively over at Bond. He said: "You're not married, but I think it's the same with all relationships between a man and a woman. They can survive anything so long as some kind of basic humanity exists between the two people. When all kindness has gone, when one person obviously and sincerely doesn't care if the other is alive or dead, then it's just no good. That particular insult to the ego — worse, to the instinct of self-preservation — can never be forgiven. I've noticed this in hundreds of marriages. I've seen flagrant infidelities patched up, I've seen crimes and even murder forgiven by the other party, let alone bankruptcy and every other form of social crime. Incurable disease, blindness, disaster — all these can be overcome. But never the death of common humanity in one of the partners. I've thought about this and I've invented a rather high-sounding title for this basic factor in human relations. I have called it the Law of the Quantum of Solace." Bond said: "That's a splendid name for it. It's certainly impressive enough. And of course I see what you mean. I should say you're absolutely right. Quantum of Solace — the amount of comfort. Yes, I suppose you could say that all love and friendship is based in the end on that. Human beings are very insecure. When the other person not only makes you feel insecure but actually seems to want to destroy you, it's obviously the end. The Quantum of Solace stands at zero. You've got to get away to save yourself." — Ian Fleming, Quantum of Solace 'While the story does not include action elements, as other Fleming tales do, it attempts to posit that Bond's adventures pale in comparison with real life drama. Bond reflects that the lives of the people he passes somewhat superficial judgements upon can in fact hide poignant episodes.'
  • > the lifeguard was some young hotshot local actor named Sean Connery Thomas or Tam Connery at the time, probably. I think he took the name Sean when he went to London (where he entered Mr. Universe). His opinions on violence towards women seem pretty fucked up.
  • Personally, I would have put Michelle Yeoh closer to the top, and added Jane Seymour to the "worst" list.
  • Any list of Best Bond Girls not featuring Daniela is complete and utter crap. And Lotte Lenya, bless her, was NOT a Bond Girl in the common sense of the phrase. And Britt Ekland? On the WORST list? They fucking NUTS? Sure, a little dopey, but in that bikini, who the hell notices?
  • Although she's certinaly a va-va-va-vision, I found Bianchi's performance a bit too childlike for my taste.
  • GnnGGNNN! GGGGNNNNnnnGGnnGnnnGGNNnnngGNnGNNNNN!!!
  • You keep making that sound. I worry for your health.
  • THEN THE DAY ISH MINE!!11! BUCK FUTTER!
  • Ooooh, what costume to wear to the cinema?!?
  • I'll be the pantomime goose if you'll be the pantomime Princess Margaret...
  • She sounds like a really cool gal.
  • I love that Fleming's real-life secretary was named Una Trueblood.
  • A kishsh from Jamesh shells for thirty-eight thoushand dollarsh. As his boss, you'd think she could have played that much better.
  • FUCKING OUTRAGE
  • Coke Zero is just diet coke marketed at men. We're not fooled by the bachelor black bottle, you know.
  • But, but, it's so phallic!
  • Public premiere for new Bond film 29 October at the Odeon West End in London. BBC story includes trailer (something I haven't noticed happen before). Mathieu Amalric is looking like an excellent villain.
  • Looksh good, if a bit flashy. And I appreshiate the reappearansh of Felixsh in the franchishe. The last few weeks, they've been showing the Pierce Bonds. I'm more convinced that they grew worse over time -- no fault of Pierce's, but Denise Richards? The 'invisible car'? Ungh. Drags those movies dooooooooooown...
  • On the flip side, Michelle Yeoh is IMO one of the best Bond girls EVAR. Word on Ms. Richards, though. It's not "complicated" at all, Denise - you're a stupid twat who also can't act.
  • Oh, definite yo on Yeoh.
  • Also Marceau.
  • Go Don Ho! And Al Jarreau!
  • I'll have a Flaming Moe.
  • 7? Fuck, he's a double-O.
  • It all started with a casino.
  • and then it went to Dr. No
  • Auric Goldfinger had a glow.
  • Largo's shot by Domino.
  • Then some rockets are fecked by Ernst Stavro.
  • Some space capsules he then does swallow.
  • Bond killed Zorin in San Francisco.
  • The next film had Maryam d'Abo.
  • Into the shredder went Dario.
  • Sean Bean fell at Aricebo.
  • Aah, yes. The one with Xenia O. And a song by Bono.
  • He always was a bit of a Nancy.
  • I've fought liking Roger Moore, because he's totally not the sort of actor I usually like. And I still rank his Bond performance below all the others. But he's just so damn charming.
  • My problem with Moore is that I like those Bond movies so goddamn much*, that Moore tends to be given some vicarious credit. *Second half of Moonraker excepted, obv.
  • Timothy Dalton was the greatest bond ever.
  • Whatever, you tri-nippled freak.
  • Some say the world will end with Dr. No Some say with Scaramanga. From what I've seen of Doc Kananga, I hold with those who favor Scaramanga But if it really had to blow, I think that for destruction, No Is also quite a way to go
  • Saw Quantum of Solace Friday night. It would have been a great movie if they'd written out that one character - that blank-eyed, IQ-challenged serial killer it was impossible to form any kind of emotional attachment to - you know, the leading man.
  • I haven't seen it yet, but so far, the reviews aren't encouraging. Bragging that it's the 'most violent Bond ever', and how the director had been freed from the 'rules of the franchise' -- this does not bode well. More Jason Bourne than James Bond, I suspect. Don't fuck with the formula, people. The formula is what works. But -- I'll give it a chance.
  • > Don't fuck with the formula, people. The formula is what works. One Friday in the mid-90s I went to a friend's place to watch a Bond movie on video after being to the pub. I think the film was about halfway through before I realized I hadn't seen it before.
  • Yeah, I wasn't overly impressed with Quantum of Solace, either. Just sort of...meh. It was there, I watched it, lots of people died in gruesome ways. Part of it, for me, is that Craig's bond has no charisma or charm. It's essential for a Bond. (Oh, and being slickly handsome doesn't hurt.)
  • Don't say that to Mother Renault. She's in luuuuuuurve with Danny-boy. At least it's better than her earlier fixation on 'such-a-nice-boy' Justin Timberlake. "Dick in a Box" changed all that for her. What were we talking about?
  • IIRC, it was "Dick in a Box" that first made me sit up and take notice of JT. A sense of humor goes a long way.
  • Well. That was garbage. DONT MESS WITH THE FORMULA THE FORMULA IS WHAT WORKS No theme music, no white dots, no gadgets, no bon mots, no charm. Direction was terrible -- all close-ups and cutaway shots, you couldn't tell who was doing what in any of the fight scenes, no anticipation or resolution, just a lot of bam bam bam done. Plot was incomprehensible and nonsensical. An actor so expressive he makes Oskar Werner look like Rip Taylor. M as Bond's 'buddy'. Needless CGI. Relying on plot details from the movie you last saw two years ago. Terrible. I was aching for Moonraker, it was that bad.
  • It's the fucking New Coke of Bond. GRR.
  • I'm now watching You Only Live Twice, just to make up for Quantum. I'm feeling much better now.
  • Aah, Little Nellie. You do my heart good.
  • The muddy bad-camera-angle fight scene thing, yes, could have been done better; but I can't help but like Craig and the new gritter Bond. I actually like the lack of gadgets, too. As much fun as they are, they often end up as a deus ex machina for no reason at all. Craig's Bond in this film was a cold-blooded killer: That was entirely the point. He had to recognize at some point in the process that he was such a man, and ask himself whether that was all he intended to be. The scene where he has to face the collateral damage his lifestyle produces? Man. You don't have the light-hearted nods to 60's sexuality that Connery brought, no, but christ, that scene stuck with me. Connery did make the best bond, as far as I'm concerned. Not simply because he set the archetype for all who followed, either. Moore? In one movie, the man dons a pink shirt, no undershirt, and his nipples show clearly through the fabric. Would James Bond ever be caught dead in such an outfit? Hell no. I mean, not Moore's fault entirely that he was Bond during one of the more hideous periods of men's fashion to date, but for the love of god, a real Bond would not fall for that wide-tie and pastel color garbage. Dude would be there, smugly wearing an evening jacket, and silently pouring caustic ridicule on the fools wearing shit. Lazenby? To be honest I have no opinion. I believe that's the one Bond film I have not actually seen. Dalton. Hum. Never warmed up to the guy. But that's partly because the writers killed off Felix for no good reason at all. No reason. Not one. Unnecessary. Bastards. I think Brosnan could easily have been a better Bond if the writing (and other casting) had been better. Not his fault that nobody could come up with a decent plotline during his tenure. Oh, I know, let's make the key to a space-based nuclear electrical weapon be a shiny gold jewel, yeah! That makes sense, right? I'm always using crystals and shit for keys, but then again I live in the Fortress of Solitude, so what do I know.
  • Grittier I have no problem with. Bond absolutely devoid of charm, no. You need to see Lazenby. His performance is quite underrated -- just the right amount of charm and swagger. The movie itself has some great moments, even if it is interminable and Telly Savalas as Blofeld entirely laughable. Another movie, and Lazenby would have given Connery a run for his money.
  • I don't have to have charm or sexuality - I just need to be able to give a flying fritter what happens to the protagonist. He might as well have been a lump of Fimo.
  • It just occurred to me that I can talk about Bond the way the old guys at the barber can talk about boxing, pitting one great against the other, making allowances for changes through the eras...
  • And those two magic words: Lotte Lenya. Maybe I'm just missing something with Quantum of Solace, but all I saw was a blank, soulless goon mindlessly breaking everything he touched and randomly wasting anyone the whim seized him to. If that's all I wanted to see, I could stay home and play GTA.
  • So much of it was just contrary to not just Bond, but to spying in general. Spies are supposed to be invisible. Sure, Bond has never been invisible, as that would make a pretty dull movie, but here the solution to every situation was to get into a punchup, rather than rely on your wits first. Also, I found his relationship with M completely off. Previously, M was most definitely the boss. Here, not only does Bond engage in open insubordination, but M defends it. She's also made to seem weak at times, relying on Bond in this personal capacity that is totally foreign to Bonds before. They get all buddy-buddy at the end. Bullshit. Complete bullshit. If your guy goes rogue, takes out other agents of yours to do so -- he's unreliable, and will be eliminated, paf paf paf. But apparently, instead, you send in your cutest, youngest agent totally on her own, and she succumbs to his non-existent charm, and then just resign yourself to 'oh, well, he probably knows best, I'll trust him'. Mind you, Dench's M has been weakened over the last few films, to get a bit of the damsel in distress going. She was much tougher with Brosnan's Bond, at least in the beginning. And while my learned friend Frogs has a point about the deus ex machina, I would submit that just as often as the gadgets are about deus ex machina, they're about neat toys. Little Nellie was a neat toy, so was the DB5 or the remote-controlled BMW. Glass-shattering rings, or invisible cars, deus.