August 09, 2005

Curious George: Who's Dumb to You? While taking a walk the other evening, I overheard some kids making "dumb jokes" (think "blonde jokes") about Canadians. Here in Washington state, the neighbors we tend to poke fun at for being supposedly daft are Canadians and sometimes Idahoians.

In Seattle, it becomes more specifically the cities to the south or west, like Kent or White Center. Where I grew up in Ohio, our "dumb" jokes centered around West Virginians. It occurred to me that probably every country and/or city in the world has a "dumb" neighbor they poke fun at via jokes. What's yours?

posted by kittenhead 19 years ago
  • Republicans.
  • The IrishThe Other.
  • Saskatchewanians. They call sheds 'quonsets', chocolate milk 'Vico', hoodies 'bunny-hugs', and refuse to adhere to Daylight Savings! And I hear tell that they have yellow fire hydrants...
  • Aggies. Students and ex-students of Texas Agricultural and Mechanical University (Texas A&M) have always been the dumb ones in the jokes. In Canada, it is the Newfies, from Newfoundland, that the rest of the country jokes about.
  • Western Europe = Belgians (as I recall)
  • The Norwegians and Swedes have a nice reciprocal relationship in this regard.
  • Virginians, naturally, poke fun at the West Virginians, on account of all the in-breeding and such.
  • In most of Ontario the "dumb" jokes are about Newfies. But when I was in university, we engineering students told similar "artsie" jokes about arts students.
  • Texas A&M vs the University of Texas - everything from sports to general intelligence to mascot superiority. UT fans also tend to pick on OU based on football rivalry. Now that I think about it, we pick on almost everyone when it comes to NCAA football... and state politics.
  • Did you hear the Texas A&M medical school has perfected the artificial appendix?
  • I seem to recall Polish jokes were pretty big in the early 1980s... I tried investigating on Wikipedia but got a rather morbid article on it.
  • Americans. And Newfies.
  • In Oklahoma, it's Arkies (Arkansas) and Texans.
  • My Sichuanese house-guest tells me that the Tibetans of Dartsedo mock Han Chinese from Xuning, and the citizens of Chengdu take the piss out of Beijingers. So there you go.
  • I wonder who the Newfies make fun of?
  • Mexicans!
  • Funny thing about Polish jokes is that most Poles I know (2nd or 3rd generation) have heard them plenty of times... but they were told about Russians...
  • I love the sidebar right now: Curious George: Who's Dumb to You? (7 new) Maybe it's YOU after all... (3 new)
  • Only marginally related, but when I was studying abroad ("You should of seen HER! Kee-yuk!") in the UK I was treated to an "American" joke that I still laugh at, even though it was at my expense. "What's the difference between America and a cup of yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for a couple hundred years, it'll develop a culture." It's funny. And it hurts. Anyway, growing up in Arkansas in the 70s/80s, most of the "dumb" jokes I heard were either about Aggies specifically, Texans generally, or "Pollacks." There were of course the racist jokes as well. As a recovering Southern Baptist, though, I now collect Baptist jokes. "Why won't Baptists make love standing up? They don't want anyone to think they're dancing." "Why should you always invite two Baptists along on a fishing trip? If you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer." "Why does it take three Baptists to screw in a lightbulb? 'Cuz they're SO DANG STUPID! Wait, I messed that one up..." :)
  • Yancey or Madison County. We're all hillbillies here, so we have to get real specific in our taunting.
  • Hoosiers!
  • In all parts of New Mexico they make fun of Espanolans. Except, of course, in the town of Espanola, where they make fun of Chimayosos.
  • And of course, Texans. God, they hate Texans.
  • I grew up in Alabama and we tried to make fun of people from Mississippi, but it always rang hollow. TenaciousPettle, my favorite Baptist joke: "What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist? Methodists say hi to each other in the liquor store."
  • One of my co-workers still refers to stupid things as "Polish", in all seriousness. I complained, and he's now expanded to Lithuania, which I'm not certain he can find on a map.
  • "What's the difference between America and a cup of yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for a couple hundred years, it'll develop a culture." It's funny. And it hurts. Why does the sun never set on the British Empire? Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark.
  • What do you call a person who speaks two languages? bilingual What do you call a person who speaks one language? American
  • In Boston, you make fun of everything. Other neighborhoods in the city, the western suburbs, the north and south shore, western Mass., New Hampshire, Maine, the rest of New England, the flyover states, the south, California, the world. The only towns we'll admit to not totally hating are Chicago and San Francisco, and we feel superior to everyone except New Yorkers, because even as we make fun of them we know they're cooler than we are. (as someone who grew up elsewhere, I tend to think there are a lot of places cooler than here, but it's fun to watch the locals froth)
  • Of course, around here, people say "irregardless", and "I'll borrow you $20 if you need it", so who are we to poke fun? Also, anyone who would stay in Winnipeg during the winter has got to be stupid.
  • Yea, Kittenhead, sure, whatever. Well, at least here in Idaho we Idahoans know how to spell! Idahoian, sheesh!
  • Hey, I never said *I* made fun of IdaHOANS! But who the hell besides someone in Idaho knows what y'all call yerselves? You could be Idahoites or Idahotrons or Illustrious Members of the People's Republic of Idaho for all I care! I'm beginning to suspect why Washingtonians make fun of Idahoans--'cuz they're so dang sensitive! [ducks]
  • Damyankees.
  • Sumarians
  • Oh, and Babalyonians. Fuck they're stupid.
  • Customers. Those who expect service with a smile and to be treated like little kings and queens, princes and princesses. This whole business of 'the customer is always right' needs to be soundly trounced and done away with for the good of all. Treat everyone equally and with dignity, both customer and merchant, no matter the cost of their purchase or wage earned and everyone wins all the way around.
  • *hangs head* I graduated from Texas A&M. But I like to think that I have sufficiently recovered.
  • Bad day at work, mk1gti? Sorry! I agree wholeheartedly with you, by the way.
  • Idahotes.
  • I think most Washingtonian jokes with the Canuck at butt are affectionately intended. Californians, now, there's some real animus. As a Hoosier, i can also state that it is Kentuckians that the Hoosier casts aspersions upon. The Monkey? Well, clearly: The MeFite!
  • Hoosiers! Yay, we're stupid! It seems that, here in the Midwest, every state likes to make fun of any state to the south of it. We Hoosiers make fun of Kentucky quite a bit. (Q: What's a mile long and has six teeth? A: The unemployment line in Louisville.) A friend of mine, also from Indiana, worked for Apple when I was younger. When Apple introduced relative dating in Mac OS 8, he would joke that the feature had been present in Kentucky for years. We joke about Iowa, too. (Q: Why did Iowa State have to end the semester early? A: They lost the book.)
  • Idahobags!
  • In central California, it's Okies. By which we mean people from Bakersfield.
  • Mexicans
  • Koko, you forgot Transconans(Basically, they're the 'Newfies' of Winnipeg.) And I say irregardless. And I like winter.
  • Out here in So Cali, it's the folks from the 909 (area code). (razza frazza next city over is 626, and we're 909... grumble grumble)
  • Bruise Brubaker, I don't know if you were kidding or not, but in my region, there is serious hate for Pedro and his 28 familia. Times ten.
  • Oh, and most of the jokes I've heard involve either livestock or water. None very nice.
  • Western PA, and it's definitely West Virginia that gets it here. It's more rural, so of course it's stereotyped as stupid, inbred etc. It's such a lame stereotype that I'm embarrassed to say that people actually say that stuff in all seriousness. 'Course, my city has the biggest inferiority complex since who knows when, so I'm not entirely surprised. That and whoever's more rural than the speaker usually gets it. Naturally, there's someone in the next town over saying the same about you, and on and on. :)
  • beond the Mexican hate, we have a lot of "where's the beach" jokes about Californians and Texans.
  • Anyone east of the Rockies, especially those skeeter-infested Winnipegers.
  • Hah, in eastern PA we make fun of western PA. Also, Jersey. Because it is dirty.
  • In Melbourne Australia it's the (supposedly inbred) Tasmanians we make fun of: Q: How do you tell how many people are at a Tasmanian cricket match? A: Do a headcount and divide by two Also, all Australians like to make fun of New Zealanders, and vice versa...
  • Aggies (sorry, Kamakaze Gopher!). When I was in England, I told an Aggie joke to a kid I'd just met. Turns out, he was attending an Agricultural college. Oops. When I was in college in Houston, TX, my friends from Rice used to introduce me as "This is my friend. She goes to St. Thomas -- but don't worry, she's really smart!" I would introduce them in turn as "This is my friend. S/he goes to Rice -- but don't worry, s/he's not suicidal!"
  • The Judean People's Front!
  • My favorite Okie joke growing up: "Why doesn't Texas fall into the Gulf of Mexico?" "Because Oklahoma sucks." On par with another of my favorite jokes "Why did the frog fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead."
  • Aggies. The punchline to my favorite from-real-life joke is my father turning to his best friend, an alumnus of Texas A&M, as they look at a home improvement project gone sadly awry and saying, "That's another fine example of Aggie engineering". My favorite Rice-A&M joke involves an Owl and Aggie from the Corps (military) in the men's room together. They do their business, and the Rice guy starts to walk out. The Aggie clears his throat and when the Rice guy doesn't respond, he says, "At A&M, we learn to wash our hands before we leave the men's room." To which our Ricean hero replies, "At Rice, we learn not to piss on our hands." /native Texan, Rice alumna and only one member of my freshman group committed suicide while I was in college
  • Melburnians.
  • Feh. Baja Oklahoma, I say :-P
  • I wonder who the Newfies make fun of? The rest of the world, because they don't get to live in Newfoundland. Actually, in Toronto we make fun of the 905 area code. Not jokes about being stupid, just general annoyance at suburbs who use all our services and then don't want to pay taxes to help keep them up.
  • Eastern PA - New Jersey. South Jersey calls the summer visitors "Shoobies" cause they used to bring their lunches in shoeboxes when visiting for the day....
  • In the South Island we laugh at the North Islanders, and they in turn poke fun at us. Combined, we're mean and nasty to Australians. As a kid I heard and told a lot of Irish jokes. Don't know why the Irish have a bad rap here in NZ of all places but I can only assume the jokes arrived in NZ via the English, maybe through TV and printed media. Did you hear about the IRA guy who tried to blow up a bus? He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe, har de har har.
  • In my youth, Surrey (BC Canada) a suburb of Vancouver, was the butt of jokes... (to an audience) All those from Surrey, raise your paw... Q: What's the name for an outfit consisting of T shirt, jeans, a mac jacket and Daytons? A: A Surrey Tuxedo. glossary Mac Jacket - a thick red and black flannel shirt worn by lumberjacks.(Think Neil Young or Nirvana) Daytons - a locally made workboot, often worn with blakeys on the heels. Blakeys - metal plates, similar to taps, made to be nailed to the soles of boots to reduce wear. What do you call a Surrey resident in a suit? The accused (USA - defendant).
  • What exit?
  • Saskatchewanians. They call sheds 'quonsets', chocolate milk 'Vico', hoodies 'bunny-hugs', and refuse to adhere to Daylight Savings! Occasionally; rarely; yes; and absolutely. Saskatchewanians tend to make fun of Newfies as well as Ontarians and Americans, if you bring up politics.
  • These days it's all Americans (and occasionally Albertans).
  • Growing up working-class in suburban Cleveland? It was all about "dumb Pollack" jokes. Sorry. Most of these are, as noted, entirely interchangeable with any other group one about which one wishes to make insinuations of stupidity. As a performing soprano? Tenors, and occasionally other kinds of non-musical performing artists, or location-specific jokes (there are plenty about Oberlin College's famous music school, although I didn't go there). But by and large most of those jokes feature sopranos as the butt. ("How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?" "Just one: she puts the light into the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her." "Two: one to change the bulb, and the other to kick the ladder out from under the first one." Etc.)
  • verbminx: I heard "two, one stand on the ladder and change the lightbulb, and one to say 'that lightbulb is too high for her.'" ... and for anyone who plays in an orchestra, it's the violas! Oh the viola jokes! And especially for verbminx, the one joke that combines them: Q. If you pushed a viola player and a soprano off a cliff at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A. The violist, because the soprano would have to stop halfway down and ask for directions.
  • in dublin, divided by the river liffey which runs east into dublin bay and the irish sea, there are lots of northsider/southsider jokes. some classic lines from alan parker's film of roddy doyle's book the commitments
    "The Irish are the blacks of Europe, Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland, and the Northsiders are the blacks of Dublin ... so say it loud -- I'm black and I'm proud!"
    this said by a very white guy to a bunch of other very white people.     dubliners in general look down on "culchies" (country people, name is probably derived from kiltimagh, a very nice town in mayo). there seems to be a special disregard for the inhabitants of kerry, in the southwest of ireland. within kerry, there's a north-south divide and a humourous antipathy towards the inhabitants of neighboring cork. and of course, the whole country makes jokes about the english
  • Koko, you forgot Transconans (Basically, they're the 'Newfies' of Winnipeg.) Of course, Trashcona! One of my coworkers lives there. The stupid one. And I say irregardless. I'm sorry! Do you also say "ashphalt"? That's another of my favorites! And I like winter. Unless you drive a plow, you LIE!! Maybe YOU live in Trashcona! I hear they're all liars there.
  • Anyone east of the Rockies, especially those skeeter-infested Winnipegers. We also make fun of people who live on islands! Cuz they're so stupid!
  • Kentuckians, by association. We call local towns Ypsi-tucky (Ypsilanti), Pon-tucky (Pontiac), and Taylortucky (jes' plain ole Taylor). My guess is that the migration of Kentuckians and West Virginians up US-23 to the Detroit area for auto plant work started this association years ago. They teach the three Rs in WV...Readin' Ritin' and Route 23. A Polish friend of mine insists that there is only one Polish joke--the rest of them are true. (He is a believer in Lenny Bruce's theory that humor disarms).
  • Idahotrons! I like it! I'm gonna start using that. Oh, and in Idaho we make fun of Montanans. I hear all our sheep-themed Montana jokes are exactly the same, but with Idaho in them. Idaho? No, you da ho!
  • People from Essex. I play viola. Bring it on!!!
  • In downeast Maine, they make fun of folks who live inland, people in New Hampshire, Massachusetts (exept the Red Sox), and Canada (especially New Brunswick). Everyone on the planet is stupider than the people in Acton, Mass. And in San Francisco, its people from Orange County.
  • When I was in my metal band (MAD HATTER 4EVAH!!!!!1ONE!1N11111!) it was always the drummer who got the drubbing. "What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?" "A drummer." "What do you call a drummer who just broke up with his girlfriend?" "Homeless." Of course the guitarist got his share too. "How do you know a guitarist is at your door?" "He doesn't know when to come in." And of course, as the vocalist (I used to say "singer," but that's not entirely accurate) I had to put up with being called a "jailhouse singer": always behind four bars and can't find the key. I'll be here all week. Tip your bartenders.
  • Polish jokes baffle me 'cause it was the most common ancestry in the area where I grew up. When I was a kid, when you first become aware of things like that, I felt slightly weird/alien because I didn't have either Polish or Slovak ancestry. Mind you, I'm about as whitebread as you get; my ancestry is all European, just southern and western "instead of" Eastern. Which is awfully scary if you think about it. Gets to be a monoculture in those little industrial towns. I think it's a bit better these days. So. Yes. One person's weird, etc. Interesting.
  • Lawyers make fun of judges. And doctors. But mostly judges. What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Good morning, your Honour...
  • "What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?" "A drummer." There are many versions of this same joke... "What do you call a guy who hangs out with hockey players?" "A goalie." "What do you call a guy who hangs out with football players?" "A kicker." etc...
  • What's the difference between a violin and a viola? a viola burns longer -Victor Borge
  • "Why won't Baptists make love standing up? They don't want anyone to think they're dancing." Why won't Baptists have sex before marriage? It might lead to dancing.
  • Tourists.
  • As a resident of beautiful sunny Oakland CA = residents of Berkeley. you f*cking drive in that town for a while and y'll see what I mean!
  • Well, as a former resident of upper east TN (aka rural Appalachia) we didn't have too many people pick on. Mainly really rural places like Mountain City, TN or sometimes Southwest VA (Saltville, Mendoda). And don't forget the Melungeons! Oh yeah, and New Jersey.
  • Why do all the pine trees in Georgia lean West? Because Alabama sucks.
  • Hoosiers. The fucking. Hoosiers. At least Kentucky has horses. ::grumbles::
  • Why do all the pine trees in Georgia lean West? *slaps forehead* How could I have forgotten? Auburn fans!
  • MeFites?
  • Hey, man, my dad played banjo. /glare
  • To anyone who uses "dumb Pollack" when they mean "dumb Polack": I'm rubber and you're glue, beeyotch.
  • Oh yeah, and New Jersey. Again, what exit?
  • Fascinating article on Melungeons, kimdog!
  • Yeah, I didn't quite understand the 'dumb Pollack' thing. I know people don't LIKE Jackson, but I didn't know he was the subject of mockery. But I was afraid to say anything. You all might think I'm stupid.
  • But upthread, someone mentioned jokes about Belgians -- and I've got a great Belgian joke! Twee mannen sit op de trein. Een van de mannen, die Nederlander, heft een boek. De andere man, een Belgshe, kijk aan de boek, en vraag aan de eerste, "wat sort van boek is dat?" "Logische," segt de man, "het is een boek van logische." Ja, now die Belg heft GEEN IDEE wat logische is, natuurlijk. Hij vraag aan die Nederlander, "Hee, wat is logische?" De Hollander denkt for een moment. "Heft je een aquarium?" De Belg segt "Ja." "Als je heft een aquarium, dan je jeft heel van stress in je leven, ja?" "Ja" segt de Belg. "Als je heft veel van stress, meschien be je veel druk met werk, eh?" "Ja" segt de Belg. "En als je ben veel druk met werk, je moot veel geld hebben." "Ja, precis!" segt de Belg. "En als je moot veel van geld hebben, je moot het hebben for die familie, eh?" "Onverstelbaar! Ja!" "En als je heb een familie, dan ben je niet homosexuele." "Krijgen Lazarus! Natuurlijk niet!" "Nou DAT," segt de Hollander, "DAT is LOGISCHE!" Zo, de Belg ga thuis, en koopt een boek van logische voor hun self. Twee weeken later, hij zit op de trein, met 'n boek van logische. Een andere Belg zit naast 'm. "Wat heft U daar?" "Dit is een boek van Logische." "Ja, wat is Logische?" De Belg denkt voor een moment. "Heft U een aquarium?" "Nee." segt die andere Belg. "Dan ben je homosexuele. Hahahahahaha! I love that one! (Apologies for my many spelling and grammar errors.)
  • They weren't talking about Sydney Pollack? I thought it was because "Cold Mountain" was so overrated.
  • And Jackson is Pollock, unless yer a Newfie.
  • And of course there's a rich history of jokes about accordions and accordion players (accordionists?). Some faves: What's the difference between an accordion and a vaccuum cleaner? You can tune up a vaccuum cleaner. The difference between an onion and accordion? People cry when they chop up onions. How do you make two accordionists play in time? Shoot one of them. And this one works for banjo or accordion: Why do accordionists/banjoists stroll when they play? It's harder to hit a moving target.
  • Details, my dear Koko, mere details. I can't slow down my torrent of wit by checking out triffling DETAILS! That is a WASTE of my SUPERIOR TALENTS! *throws cape over shoulder indignantly* Hmph!
  • Capt. Renault: bwahahahaha! And as patita mentioned upthread, the big rivalry for us Swedes is with the Norwegians, but it's mostly amicable, and entirely reciprocal... How many Norwegians does it take to change a lightbulb? Ten. One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest to drink vodka till the room starts spinning.
  • that was bwahahaha-ing at the Belgian joke, Capt., not at your lovely cape. Or your wit or superior talents.
  • I should hope not!
  • Dare I even bring up the PC User/Mac User dichotomy? Or the tech guy/everyone else wars?
  • It's turtles all the way down as far as that goes, TP. I have witnessed serious, venomous word-slinging between people who remix video game music and people who remix anime visuals, and between the latter and people who dress up as cartoon characters. There is simply no end. Although I have yet, in my admittedly short life, never seen anything more ridiculous than that example.
  • Sad But True: For many years, as far back as my mother's childhood, my small village had a fierce rivalry with another town about twenty minute's drive away. This Shelbyville to our Springfield was full of large belt-buckled hicks, and our contempt was compounded when that town, as small towns are wont to do, erected a sign proclaiming themselves: "Taxidermy Capital of Canada." Oh, how we laughed! Oddly enough, the fact that our town had dubbed itself "Cattle Capital of Manitoba" somehow never came up while we were mocking our rivals.
  • Oh, and how do you know the stage at a rock concert is level? Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
  • I went to university with a couple of guys from Tokoroa and a guy from neighbouring Rotorua. The Tokoroa guys always called it "Rotovegas" and the Rotorua guy always said "Tokovegas". Down here in Christchurch we call the nearest hick town Ashvegas, instead of Ashburton. Presumably it's a weird kiwi thing.
  • It's definitely a weird kiwi thing.
  • The Swede/Norwegian thing was demonstrated to me in my kitchen. At the time I had an old Norge brand stove from the 1950s. A Swedish friend came over for lunch and asked, "Is your stove stupid?"
  • Tennessee, Canada, Maine.
  • Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? A: You only have to punch the track into the machine once. Q: What's the difference between a cow and an orchestra? A: With a cow, the horns are up the front and the arsehole's at the back.
  • altolinguistic: just for you.
  • deconstructo: don't forget Redtucky (Redford, which really deserves the name!) Although, here in Michigan I hear more about Ohioans. People like to tell me thier best Ohio jokes, knowing that I'm an Ohio native. Detroit loves to pick on Lansing, Grand Rapids, and Windsor.
  • Presumably it's a weird kiwi thing Aussies sometimes use Brisvegas for Brisbane, so it's at least a little more widespread.
  • In St. Louis, the dumb folk live out in JeffCo
  • Why did the violist stand outside his own house for 3 hours last night? Because he couldn't find the key or figure out where to come in.