Why can't the feed be in colour? Why'd it have to be in black and white?
Hahahahahaha... sigh.
Allright, I'll go away quietly. I won't be any more trouble.
Hurrah! It's my homegirl panda, Mei Xiang of the National Zoo.
Ha ha. That was what I thought.
Are you me?
Few creatures capable of beating you to death with your own severed leg are this cute.
Depends. Where am I poking right now?
The cub's awake now! you can see its teeny little head moving. Sooooo cuuuuute
Ow!
Quit it!
No..wait...I quite like it now
Just noticed the scary shakey fist woman in the banner ad on that page! OMG!
That's not a monkey!
You like that, eh? I've got something else you might like...
Is it chocolate milk? I LOVE chocolate milk. Especially European brands. The nicest chocolate milk I ever had was when I was holiday in Spain when i was about 5. The rest of my life has been a quest to find something as nice.
YES! How'd you know? I've a nice Tetrapak full of Chocomel right here for my kitfisto!
*sings*
Heaven, I'm in heaven....
*sings along*
...and my heart beats so that I can hardly speeeeeak...
Choco-milk for kitfisto! Nice cam indeed...
Choco-milk for kitfisto! Nice cam indeed...
teh cute!!11!!
It's now in colour, or something like it. It must we wakey up time for the old girl.
Aww...
Heeeeeere pandapandapanda...
Allright, that cub is insufferably cute.
dangit i wanna see! Is there a non-real-player version?
Definitely a link to keep in mind for any threads gone awry!
*finds still pics*
*squeals, claps*
D'yaknow the're members of the raccoon family? But, like, way cuter.
The story goes: Noah only had room for one more species, and it was down to the unicorns and the pandas. Then the pandas gave Noah "the look".
people at my office call me the panda hater. I just think a species that won't diversify its food intake, doesn't know how to reproduce and usually smooshes its babies deserves to be extinct! then comes the finger pointing about how I'm such a panda hater.
The baby cheetahs we had were much cuter, IMHO. Plus they gave free Cheetos to those of us who went to see them at 10 a.m. the first day they were out. Hooray for Cheetahs!
Kind of Tyler Durden, sys7girl.
Pandas are incredibly cute (from a distance, to be sure), but indeed there's a Darwinistic argument that can be made about the Panda's pretty piss-poor adaptability compared to just about every other big mammal, considering that most species DO find a way to breed in captivity.
Mama's munching on bamboo!!! And then she yawned!! I can't tell where baby is, maybe she sat on him.
I just think a species that won't diversify its food intake, doesn't know how to reproduce and usually smooshes its babies deserves to be extinct!
What about a species that knowingly and willingly destroys it's environment while at the same time devising weapons that are specifically designed to exterminate all life as we know it?
Those fuckers should die.
if you look RIGHT NOW the baby's on camera!
I see him! He's rolling around on the straw!
Lookit his little bum!
Boy, that's one noisy little bugger, isn't it?
Panda's have BIG tongues! Wow...
I'm in tune with the sentiment, pete, but I'd say that humans are on the far-other end of the bell curve from pandas when it comes to adaptability/survivability.
And darnit, Space Kitty! I missed him rolling around. All I see is mom curled up and sleeping.
More webcams of cute fuzzy animals, etc. From the same site as the cheetah cubs, above.
Oh, I agree Petebest. And I don't think the Pandas should spend any more time, money or effort keeping us humans alive.
:)
Panda feeding baby, right now.
That's a hungry cub! Quite wonderful, dx!
No wonder their young perish so easily. Mom is damned rough with the little gaffer. Does he ever squeal a lot.
frickin' real player - man that is some suckware there, I really hate installing thi- OH MY GOD She's nursing!! AAaiiiiIIgh that's the cutest thing in the universe!! Wow!
*dries tear*
Dammit, I missed it! Looks like it's naptime now.
Baby panda wiggling around now.
ok i've made up my mind. I'm coming back as a baby panda. That has 100% chance of survival. And a worldwide webcam audience. Heck that could be me right now for all we know.
*squeals, wiggles*
*applauds petebest the Panda*
I can't believe you're all pandering to the panda like this...
OH, TEH CUTE!
Mei Xiang, (pronounced may-SHONG) which means "beautiful fragrance," is the female and the youngest.
Uh...no. The second word "Xiang" is pronounced as "S-young". Pitch it slightly higher than the "Mei" when you pronounce it and it'll be fairly accurate Mandarin.
/anal-retentive
*rolls, bites*
*dresses petebest in tiny footy pjs*
squeeeee!!!
I have a terrible panda story to relate.
I used to work doing rural development in a mountainous county in south west Sichuan.
Villagers gleefully recounted the tale of how one time one of their neighbours found what he presumed to be a common or garden bear eating his maize, so he got a stick and set about beating it. A passer-by informed him that it was in fact a panda and he would be liable for a whacking great fine for his whacking, for this was the well protected national animal of China!!! So he and some mates slung the poor bloody beast on a shoulder pole and carted it three hours down the mountain to the (human) hospital in the county town, where, alas, the poor thing died anyway.
Apparently he got off because the panda was well otside his normal range and being so remote, the village had no telly so the farmer had no idea what one would look like. But how could he?
:(
*blinks*
*re-loads panda cam and ponders that story*
coolest.webcam.evah
mesmerized
ummm . . . there's no video . . . oh my . . . uhhmmm . . . we need pandas . . definitely . . definitely need pandas on the pandacam . . yyyeahhh . . . very bad . . .
*sits, rocks*
Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players. I certainly do. Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team. Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names. You mean funny names? Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean... His brother Daffy. Daffy Dean... And their French cousin. French? Goofè. Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third... That's what I want to find out. I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third. Are you the manager? Yes. You gonna be the coach too? Yes. And you don't know the fellows' names? Well I should. Well then who's on first? Yes. I mean the fellow's name. Who. The guy on first. Who. The first baseman. Who.
They're back!
Boy baby pandas do squeal a lot. cutest. squealing. ever.
Awwwwwww - it's raining there and there was just some thunder and the mama looked up. Maybe junior's reacting to that.
*pops insulin tablets*
*spreads hands wide apart, walks slowly toward Petebest
Pete, it's ok, let us put this bag these pants over your head. Too much panda can make anyone feel titchy. You need just a little rest. We'll watch the pandas together later.
*squeals*
*rolls Petebest on his back and tickles his soft little belly*
Now it's nap time for you, buster.
nursing now. wow, momma has big teeth!
Now it's just little scooter all curled up on the floor, no Mama in sight. Awwww he just wiggled. Hehe.
seriously there must be like a region of the brain that only responds to pandas. It's like pandamine or something
Awwwwwww! Teh Cutester!
That is amazing to watch - thanks, kitfisto! I missed this earlier.
Crittercams!
He was on his own a little while ago, laying on his front. Every so often, he'd wiggle his bum, to let out a little fart.
Aww, widdle baby panda fart...
That's how they figured out his gender.
That's right. If it spent all night watching Coronation Street and reading OK, then we'd know it was female...
Or knitting...
Or making snide remarks about flatulence.
OMFG SHE'S BITTEN HIS HEAD OFF!!!!!!!!
Oh ... nevermind - she's holding him upside down.
wonders what a baby panda fart sounds like - is it teh cute?
"bweeeeeeeee"
*opens window*
"bweeeeeeeee"
Oh ... nevermind - she's holding him upside down.
Oh, oh. Maybe it's supposed to go "phrapppppptt."
hee hee!
future baby panda toy dolls are incomplete without whoopee cushion inside.
My baby panda farts like a choo-choo train.
third medical exam yesterday - some photos are linked to on the bottom of the page or here. the cub has gained 1.6 pounds and grown nearly 3 inches since the last exam on august 8th. yay!
Great pics
Squeeeeee!
We should give it an honorary monkey name.
I vote for pandy.
Nah, that's pandering.
I vote for Blackie.
Sir Squealy! Lil' Pooter! Fluffle McFuzzybum!
Larry!
Monium.
Little-known fact courtesy of the OED: the pandanus is another name for the screw-pine.
Larry! Of course! Who else has made us laugh and melted our hearts so effectively of late?
Lord High Chancellor Fluffy McStumblebum
MonkeyPandaFilter: Who else has made us laugh and melted our hearts so effectively of late?
wow. Look how much the cub has grown between the last exam and this one.
I suggest Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face for a name.
OMG!
It's like they inflated him with a bicycle pump or summat!
I loves him....
His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV
For tonights performance, the part of His Fuzzness will be played by petebest and a random sampling of Monkeys
Panda Cam at the San Diego zoo, WITH LINKY-LINKY GOODNESS to the video of their two-week-old cub's first examination.
[WARNING: Set cuteness preparedness level to 'EXTREME', as video contains not only images of a pink-and-black panda cub fighting with a towel, but contains a high degree of attempted squealing]
Awww . . Mei Sheng is still a Li'l Tyke . . still got the fuzzies around the face.
Damn you Captain!!
*shakes fist while staring at SD PandaCam*
*looks around nervously
Is there anyone in here besides me that thinks Petebest might be unnaturally over-fond of these panda babies?
Sure, they're teh cute and all, but shouldn't he be looking for love within his OWN species?
It's society's crime, not his!
It's like a tide - give IN to it, boy!
Gotta grab love where you can find it... Just don't be grabbing some love on the subway. That can get you beaten to a bloody pulp.
who's round and fuzzy
black and white
and nursed by his mother
late at night?
he's better fed
than in the wild --
behold the rotund
panda child
So . . . like, the pandacam is the star in the east like?
*checks under desk for myrrh, evaluates current state of wisdom*
Kitfisto, drop that jerboa. Drop it I say.
Now, about this interspecies love of which you speak...
Goddam tease jerboas...
panda q and awhat is it, this panda?
a giant panda is large
and black and white
it may be a bear
or perhaps not quite 1
a lesser panda is smaller
and is also called red
more racoon-like than the giant
it's more easily fed 2
the final panda
is more like you and me
it's a name for a priest
in the language of hindi
-----------------------
1. some classifications place the giant panda in the bear family; others place it in a separate family ailuropodidae
2. the red panda is an omnivore, unlike the herbivorous giant
))! roryk!
*awards 1st Non-Annual Duke of Squeee Poetry Award for Outstanding Work in the Field of Excellence to roryk*
Okay I think I've figured out the allure of Pandacam. Basically they're not doing much, because the baby's so small. It's mostly nuzzling and sleeping. But that's it! All of us (and probably all mammals for that matter) started out the same way - sleeping, getting thrown around, eating. The experience of the maternal (which I originally wrote as "teh maternal")!
That's it! That's why people watch! To get some of that experience back.
okay, and they're pretty cute. There is that.
You look mighty fine in those panda PJs, petebest. Fancy some panda lovin'?
Mooooom! bite him!
Pete! Put on your panda pj pants!
The fuzzy wuzzy ones.
prrrr...
Hey everyone, have you heard of this Pandacam thing?
NPR did a good story on it from a DC'ers perspective
There's a Pandacam that shows REAL pandas??
Where??
I thought we were viewing Petebest in fuzzy pants.
Dang.
"My husband's away doing promo work for the WWF, leaving me here all alone. Can you think of something we can do?"
"Um....er....no. Sorry"
*Goes extinct*
BwHah!
Ha!
bubububut I thought pandas were fuzzy, cute and...
LOVEABLE???
That's why you have to watch us 24/7 GramMa - you never know when we might turn into terrifying behemoths!
*stands on hind legs, squeaks, falls over backwards*
*tickles petebest's fuzzy widdle poochy belly*
Look up yonder!
Few things are grander
than roryk's
giant panda.
I can't bear these panda jokes any more!
Eh, Eh? You love it, you slags...
? I . . maybe I'm slow, but I just don't get it.
It's really got me bamboozled.
Wha-hay!
*spssh!*
I'd take a gander
at a panda
and let him wear
my silk bandana
he could eat bamboo
which is tough to chew
and I'd have a banana
or possibly two
I'd take a gander
at a panda
and let him wear
my silk bandana
he could eat bamboo
which is tough to chew
and I'd have a banana
or possibly two
double post!
heh
Were both bananas good, Bees, or did you eat four?
I'm confused.
*goes to put silk bandana on a friend's head, joins in bamboo breakfast*
Tanner said she had a "heartwarming, giddy feeling" as she watched the examination. And, when keepers carried the cub back to his den after the checkup, she and the others quietly applauded.
suckerrrrrrrs. She'll be applauding when the panda cub eats her brain!!
Oh wait. He already has.
wanders off in search of some envirokidz organic peanut butter panda puffs
Those panda puffs made with real pandas..?
Play Panda Chow!
Can you get bamboo to the zoo? Tian Tian and Mei Xiang's His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV's supply comes from a farm in Maryland.
But the usual driver is sick. Can you transport their treats? All you need to do is steer through some questions about these adorable animals. Each correct answer will bring the truck closer to the National Zoo.
Panda puffs sounds like what happens when they smoke bamboo. Panda licorice is yummy.
Panda Puff Daddy
Will we be on time
to see the panda-mime?
You've got some bear-faced cheek!
Eh! Eh? Who's the daddy!!
You're going to have to explain that one to me, kit.
?? maybe it's some kind of foreign idiom.
y'know, like, "Git along little dogie" or something.
feckin' creationists are trying to leverage the panda popularity meme: of pandas and people
Any cub reporter could pick holes in their argument!
Eh! Eh? Don't fight it, you dirty tickets!
yeah, it's all so black and white with these people.
Ya lost me.
But if we can get back to the baby pandas for a moment, I saw that the Fort Worth Zoo has a really cute baby jaguar named 'Guapo'. I think we should set up a playdate...
So we can fight 'em?
Oh boy!
If we give the Squee-meister a beetroot butty first, then arm him, we can make sure he Eats, Shoots and Leaves!
Eh, Eh? Who loves ya baby?
Maybe if you could put it in flash-cards or something, more people would understand.
Yeah are you sure you're in the right thread, kit?
maybe the dosage is off . . .
Loves to climb trees, walks on the beach and theatre, GSOH. Seeks similar, must like bamboo.
Tell me when to tune in for the bathing suit competition.
Let's hope we don't see too much bear flesh!
Eh? Eh? Gimme some sugar!!!
*vacant stare*
*blinks*
*looks at Capt. Renault*
*looks back at kitfisto*
*furrows brow*
You guys!!
*Does that shadow-boxy thing*
Welcome Tai Shan!!
Albeit, a mere formality your Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV
He'll bear that name with pride, no doubt!
Eh? Eh!!
Don't fight it, you devils!
Maybe it loses something in the translation from Liverpudlian...
His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV
Oh, Pete, that name is almost cuter than the panda!
His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV
And it's fun to say.
*Ahem*
This is a good un, you'll like this...
I like the cute way he's looking u-panda-round in that picture!
Eh! Eh!!??
Eat my goal!
*Exits stage right, moonwalking and giving the rock horns \m/*
*taps headphones, scowls*
(I'd thought he'd never leave.)
*throws spoons*
*enters stage right, moonwalking and doing the wink and the gun*
You Guys!!!!
See? now the spoons part I got!
Good one MCT! You butter stick around!
Ha! Ha! Hey this is fun!
Well done, MCT! It's time that someone brought humour to this thread..!
B...b..but..I....
*sniff*
*slopes quietly away*
(he's an odd one, inn'e?)
I say it's just not done to draw attention to yourself away from His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV
Throws forks.
*hears "ouch"
OUCH
/studies sticky cutlery.
I thought one started with the fork on the left, not the one in the ear.
Oddly entertaining. I got stuck on the top level after three bamboo pieces scrolled in . . .
needs more cute farting.
Regarding cutlery and ettiquite: be aware a fork in the ear is not the same as a fork in the rear.
Right, Forks?
And it's not polite for a hostess to tell a dinner guest, "Fork you."
Neither shall said guest use a dessert spoon to pick his neighbor's nose.
The panda cub recently took its first steps and zoo examiners say its teeth have started coming in. They said the cub has begun to exhibit signs that he's ready to play. On Sunday, Mei Xiang was resting on her platform when the cub stretched up and touched his nose hers, then swatted her with his paw. When the mother came down from the platform and picked him up, he squirmed and swatted her again.
Hee hee!
You can't hit your mother. Your hands will grow out of your grave. Bad panda!
Oooh, but I can't stay mad at you forever...
The 15-week-old Tai Shan, pronounced tie shahn, let out "a sharp, loud bark" when he got a vaccination against canine distemperStoryVideo!
Poor little Dukester! He didn't like that shot, and I don't blame him. Why do they give Pandas the vaccine for canine distemper? Poor ol' guy!
I wonder if the nurse said: 'Your going to have to learn to control dis-temper of yours, young man!'
Eh? Eh!!!1!
Sing Hosanna, my friends! I have returned!
*genuflects*
Yo no comprende.
*squints at kitfisto's post, tilts head slightly*
Ah! A panda-themed canine costume!
Once again MCT brings teh funny to a thread otherwise wholly lacking in humor.
Thank you sir!
Can I have a go too? yeah? really? ok. are you ready for this? *ahem*
Just as well they gave him his shot for distemper, otherwise there might be a panda-emic!
*bows*
haha! Good one mothninja!
Way over my head.
Nice, moth! If it wasn't for you and MCT, this thread'd have nuthin'.
And Koko, I'll explain it to you later. In the meantime, you just sit there quietly with your juice box, ok?
*pats head condescendingly yet again*
Amateurs!
Oh, I get it! "Amateurs"!!! heheeeeeeee!
Funniest pun I've heard in weeks!!
Bring me my panzerfaust...
he squirmed and swatted her again
Mama Panda said to His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV, You must learn to control dis temper of yours."
His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV
Still fun to say.
NOW I get it. FI-nally.
I don't know what the hell you were doing, kit, but GranMa put it in a way we could all understand. You can learn a few things from her.
Yeah, GranMa's really smart! Not like kifisto!
I have a panzerfaust, you know...
maybe it's the accent, kit . . .
(Did he say liverwurst?)
I don't like Steve. Steve is mean to the panda.
It's all right little panda!
**Hugs His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV**
squeeee
whoops
Steve better be careful, he's gonna make that panda-sauras hell!
Eh! Eh??
What's at the heart of Steve's psychotic hate of pandas? I mean, you don't get that worked up without having had some sort of panda trauma in your life.
Is that some sort of anagram or something, kitfisto?
Je ne comprends pas, ce kitfisto.
Ceci n'est pas un kitfisto.
You guys!!!!
*Does that headlock - knuckles thing*
Voulez vous un petit kitfisto?
Mais non, je ne parlez pas kitfisto, évidemment.
Stoppen Sie, mich zu necken, meine guten Freunde. Ich weiß, daß Sie mich wirklich lieben.
Uh oh. I think he's overheating or something.
Whatever it is, it's not the funniest joke in the world...
Typical of your communist bear, trying to organize the crows into a revolt using his lies and ... propapanda.
Hey? Hey?? What do I win??
*Turns dial / grimaces*
No...nothing's coming through here...
You win a better sense of self-esteem, Koko. It's all we've got right now.
Unless I give you some of kit's choccy milk...
NEVER!
*Growls like an angry bunny*
Those red pandas are adorable. Fascinating fact (from Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle, WA):
When disturbed, red pandas exhales (sic) an explosive whuufff, much like a raccoon. At the same time, they violently arch their bodies to frighten off intruders! "
Hey the Duke of Squee does the same thing - it just comes out the other side.
I already have an overinflated sense of self-esteem. GIMME CHOCO MILK NOW!!!
Is that a euphemism? That's a different thread, y'know.
Yeah, I think this thread is for cryptograms or palindromes.
His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot IV is most certainly not a palindrome.
*sniffs*
I've got your euphemism right here.
finally!
um, sorry, it's a bit soiled.
It's okay, I'll bring my hose!!
Hah? Hah?!
Oh . . wait . . no wait that's not right . . . hang on . . . wait . . I got one . . .
*exhales an explosive whuufff**
*from cake hole
I WANT CAKE WITH MY CHOCO MILK!!
--NO WAIT NEVERMIND
...and here I thought you were spongecakeworthy, Koko. Tut.
I'll take cake! Over here!
This is still a euphemism, right?
*wipes frosting from face and speaks with mouth full of cake*
Ooophemismmm?
Burn! Steve was finally hoisted on his own petard. And those cartoon pandas are squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
It's a panda-emic!
Eh?? Ehh?
What d'ya mean, someone's already used that one?...Get off of me!...
No one likes it when someone steals someone else's joke, kit. Or at least when it was better the first time.
Mothninja can deliver a punchline. You, no.
I can't bear this abuse any more!!!
Eh? Eh?? Sneaked that one up on ya...
sneaked... Are you saying the pandas look like they're wearing sneakers? Is that supposed to be some sort of pun? Looks more like little black socks to me.
Well, it's about time. Those pandas have been living in sin.
“We believe the sun and heat in Thailand will have an impact on their hormone system and will accelerate their reproductive capability,”
bow chicka bow bow chicka chicka bow!
*makes butt slapping motions*
So a 4 yr old married a 5 yr old?
Is this the Thais' way of cracking down on underage sex? Get them married at 4?
*crickets*
Jeebus, I am becoming kitfisto...
*tosses bucket of hot water on Capt. Renault, dumps on a family size box of Tide, and picks up the long-handled brush
We'll do our best to help, Capt. but you've GOT to stay away from him.
He couldn't bear to be separated from me!
Gerrinthar!
I'm not going to panda to this fixation with puns you have by dignifying that with a response, kit...
Oh yes indeedy
No need to Thai the thread up with snarky comments, AC!
Eh? Eh?
Smell the glove!
*pokes Kitfisto with wet long-handled brush
Get back, you damn dirty ape! Don't you be corrupting the children. Ursa disgrace!
*quite enjoys the wet long-handled brush treatment*
Poke me some more, Gram'ma! How Can something so wrong feel so right! The pleasure is almost un-bear-able!
Eh? Eh?
Scrub me some more and call me Mable!
Nice one Abiezer! Hee hee! Panda to the fixation! Oh man! *snif*
Seriously kit, are you sure you're in the right thread?
Perhaps it's a German idiom or something?
There's no need to pooh pooh everything I say here Petey!
Eh? Eh?
A very blustery day indeed!
*sluces bucket of soapy water on floor, flourishes brush
Great. Just great.
Now we got pooh pooh to clean up here.
Eey-ore, Ee-yore, 'e always flings Pooh about.
Recycle old jokes for a sustainable future for our 100 Acre Wood
That was supposed to be small, not em, tag-nabbit.
You'll Roo the day, young man!
Eh? Eh??
Drop and give me twenty!
Where else can you find a thread where someone is scrubbing poo(h) up from the floor? Man, I love this place!
She's trying to ins-tigger-gate a love-fest here!
Eh?
Oops I did it again!
Did what? Did I miss something?
Hm? Is something going on here?
Shit, arse and bastard! Listen who swears!
Kitfisto Robin has fallen downstairs.
PANDAS!
The subject of this thread is PANDAS!
Now pick up all your stuffed toys and kiddie books, put on your pajamas, wash those puns off your face, and GO TO BED.
Before I sic the pandas on you.
ooo, Gramma's got her pandies in a knot.
Oops I did it again!
I don't get it. Did what? Are you trying to say we need another mop?
Hey Gramma!
No need for the Paddington 'hard stare'!
*Googles for other fictional bear characters*
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie
The Pooh have in common?
A: The same middle name.
ARF!!!
*Stolen from Popbitch*
I conducted a polar Mofi members, and 78% say kit's puns suck ursine arse.
?:|
the same . . . name? Is "Winnie" short for Alexander?
Alexinnie?
Winxander?
. . It's all Greek to me . .
Wait, kit's been making puns?
Here? When was this?
You Guys!!!
*Does that headlock / knuckle rub thing*
Puns?!?! Is that what kitfisto is on about? I thought he was trying to teach us Esperanto!
Ahhhh Esperanto! Now that makes sense.
Hablo las speakas deeee . . . Englay?
what?
"She lets him treat her like a giant chew toy."
A woman after my own heart.
"He's a little panda that has to be free to grow up."
Awwwwwwah! That warms the cockles, doesn't it?
Free to eat our brains, more like. Feel the fear...
But he's so darn cute, who'd mind?
You'd have thought the BBC would have been able to find someone to write their own gags as opposed to stealing ours. Sheesh.
When you say 'ours', of course, you really mean MINE!
All will love me and DESPAIR!!!!!
*Once again, is forced to do that scary Galadriel thing to try and get the message accross*
But seriously, d'ya think we can make any cold hard cash out of this?
Go Li'l Duke of Squeee! Go!
what's up with that video though, the guy was talkin' all funny like
Talking funny?
Not Bloody Likely!
Go, greased lightning!
A Panda Is Born, a one-hour documentary airing at 8, nicely chronicles the National Zoo's five-year mission, and eventual success, for a panda birth.
If you missed it Saturday, it's on at 3am ET new year's day.
I say let His Fuzzness go au naturel! None of that girly monkey stuff!
On behalf of His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV, I accept your Google Gift and dub thee FishTick, the Fabulous.
You may now refer to him as Von Tehcute-PootPoot in private.
Although "Squeeezer", or "La Duka" is still reserved for his drinkin' buddies.
Of which he doesn't have any yet. Sheesh he's only 6 months old you sots!
I have today had the honour of an audience with His Fuzzness, the Duke of Squeeeeeeee. I took the liberty of conveying greetings from the rest of the monkeys. He responded (very graciously, I thought) by sitting in a bucket and playing with a soccer ball. He was also observed to chew on his mother's ear and climb some rocks.
This morning, I also had an opportunity to observe the Duke outdoors for only the second time in his life. He climbed a tree branch and bimbled around the yard.
I have to go pass out from cute overload now.
Speedlime took some photos. If we're nice to her, she might post them.
*is very very very very very nice to Speedlime*
*turns big puppy dog eyes on Speedlime*
*grovels appealingly*
*waits*
Hi Neddy!
(^_^)
I wants pandapics! And I'd still roll around in them, brillo-ness or not. I'd just wear a thick sweater.
The pandas, that is. I wouldn't roll around in the pictures. Well, maybe I would. Depends on how cute they were.
Aah.
I've always said that Speedlime was one of my favourite monkeys. A real toff.
*waits*
*waits some more*
*does some softshoe to amuse kit in line*
Speeeedliiiiime! Lovely Speeeeeedliiime! Can we have some panda piccies pretty please?
*hugs Speedlime*
Hi Mothninja! Since you asked so nicely, here and here are two pics of His Fuzzness. Taken, I am sorry to say, with the World's Worst Phonecam (tm), so they are tiny and pisspoor quality, but the overwhelming Squeeliciousness shines through.
Sorry I took so long to get off my duff and post them... (makes sad attempt at the Cute Panda Face)
WHO PUT HIS FUZZNESS IN THE GARBAGE?!?
fantastic photos speedlime! thanks.
Awwww! He so cuuuuuute! And fuzzy and with his ickle nosey-wosey and ickle panda eyes!
And, silly Capt. Renault, no one put him in the garbage, he's just having a comfy panda snooze in a bucket. Perfectly normal cute panda behaviour. And he's so cuuuuute! Thanks speedlime!
/iz ded from squeeee
Him rollin' in a tub! With him fuzzy, fuzzy butt! And him sweet, sweet sweetness!
Awesome pics, speedlime!
Thank you! Pallas Athena and I were pretty much confined to making googly eyes and squee noises for the rest of the day, such was the overwhelming adorableness of the Duke. With, indeed, him fuzzy fuzzy butt!
someone stop me before I degenerate into uncontrollable fits of 'woozha woozha WOOO!' again...
Nobody likes my fuzzy butt...
*pouts*
His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Renault "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV
You ickle fuzzy-lubby boober boy! Come to GramMa Renault cutie....
Na, doesn't do it for me. Your butt fuzz is too...
coarse, and it's not teh cute enough.
He was also observed to chew on his mother's ear and climb some rocks.
Atta boy! Now that's what I'm talkin' about!
I'm gonna go sit me in a bucket.
If it's good enough for the squee-meister...
It had better be a list of the cutest baby animals of all time. And he'd better be on the top! And did you see the toenails on that baby in the large pic above? He could rake your flesh to shreds.
But he wouldn't. 'Cause he's too sweet.
That reminds me -- I need a new pillow for the couch.
NO USING THE DUKE OF SQUEEEE AS A PILLOW!!!
Get a bucket to sit in like a normal person.
I would just LOVE a furry black and white purse to go with my furry black and white coat.
Beauty pic kit - is that available on silkscreened room divider?
Pandas are omnivores who spend a lot of time sleeping.
No wonder we take to them so much. (*urp*)
Silk-screened room divider?!
Get you, Mr Lardy-dar Gunner Graham!
Er..no, it isn't. Just on canvas, I'm afraid.
Splendid painting, kit! His Squeeness should give you a knighthood or something. Or nibble your ear at the very least.
Indeed. Sell it to those saps at the World Wildlife Fund.
Careful with the ear-nibbling kit - he's only looking for the shortest way to brains!
I think the ear nibbling would induce a squee of such epic proportions I would never recover.
I feel a bit funny just thinking about it...
No wonder you're still a virgin.
Not since I married that dolphin.
(I read that as 'marred', which probably isn't too far off anyway.)
She loved it.
Mind you, I don't think I'll be welcome in Sea Land for a while.
Sealand? Oh, that's Roughs.
That portrait is awesome! I don't suppose it's available in tab curtains...
Just kidding. But it really is great.
Let me be the first to say: I want a job at Panda Surveillance Headquarters.
kit - that portait would make a great flag or wall hanging. If you ever decide to do anything like that with it, let us know. I, for one, would welcome a portrait of our panda overlord.
It could be the flag we march to global victory under, feudal infantry for the Duke himself...
some twins born in china this summer: story at national geographic
wow, they look like aliens when they first pop out...
A newborn giant panda is about as big as a stick of butter and lacks the familiar black-and-white markings for its first month or so of life.
A newborn giant panda is about as big as a stick of butter
And just as tasty!
Wow they're all face for the first month I guess.
Adding a circle-of-life pallor to the otherwise rosy news, China this week announced that the world's oldest known giant panda, a female named Mei Mei, had died at a zoo in the city of Guilin at age 36—or about 108 in human years.
RIP Mei Mei - you've left us in good paws.
Viva Le Squeee!
so d'you reckon if i let the prc annex my apartment, they'll give me a baby panda?
It's worth a try. Bush is listening anyway.
January 06, 2006
Dear Wen JiabaoDear Premier Wen JiabaoDear Comrade
Comrade
I have a very small compact and bijou apartment
I am willing to annex to the glorious People's Republic of China
in return for a baby panda. In fact, I already have
some bamboo on my terrace, so the little 'uns panda's
dietary needs are already sorted can be taken care of in an
appropriate manner.
Jan. 06/06
Dear China,
I've heard you have a Panda Giveaway Offer on right now. Please find enclosed three (3) hand-drawn facsimilies of deeds to property here in Canada. Please send me a baby Panda at your earliest convenience. A really small one, as my place is just a two-bedroom. You don't need to name it or anything, I can take care of that. Ju Ju, Dub Dub, CoCo, something like that. Oh -- and tell the FedEx guy to leave it around the back, as there's been a small problem with mail theft at my apartment lately. Damn capitalists, always stealing! Eh? You know what I'm talking about. Thanks in advance!
Love,
Capt. Renault.
*knock knock!* Panda Delivery!
Pandagram.
Pandagram? Huh, I wonder who it could . . .
AAaAiaiaiIIIGgghhHH!!! It's eating my brain!!
P.S. -- I swiped a cage off of one of those Falun Gong protestors, so I have someplace to keep BoBo when he shows up. I knocked out that weirdo pretty good, so I doubt he'll come round looking for his cage. I'm like, totally set up for Pandas, dudes!
I too clocked several of those Falun Gon dissidents, in the spirit of solidarity with my Chinese pet panda comrades. It was quite easy, really, as they hold themselves remarkably still with their excellent dissident motor control.
> Annual cost to keep a pair of panda is NT$18.68M
*goes to look for second job*
*hands roryk hand-lettered sign for "Panda Rides $5"*
NT $18.68 mil -- that's what, fifty bucks?
Seriously, whaddaya need? Bamboo, check. Bucket, check. Shovel, check. Maybe some plastic for the couch.
*wonders how to toilet train BoBo*
*considers cost of custom-fitted Panda plastic pants*
You'd look silly in them, Capt.
*snKkkk!*
Yeah, uh, well -- the way I see it is, uh -- right.
Easier to put the pants on me than on the panda. This way, instead of having to watch the panda all the time, I can just hose down the apartment. Fwoosh! Panda poop be gone!
*puts petebest on secret Enemies' List*
Plus trying to get plastic pants on a Panda is a good way to get yer brains et.
Plandastipants.
Do Panda pants have elastic in the plastic?
Do plastic Panda pants stay on during a fantastic Panda dance?
What if the Pandas dance a spastic dance while wearing plastic Panda pants?
I think he's just helping the other panda pull up her Plandastipants. Right, Mommy? RIGHT?!?
"Five-year-old giant panda Chuang Chuang (R) and his four-year-old partner Lin Hui mate for the first time at the Chiang Mai zoo..."
Wow. We should add them to the loss-of-virginity thread. Doing it in public right from the get-go. Kinky.
Like a vir-gin /
Touched for the ver-y first time /
Like a vir-ir-ir-ir-gin/
With a crowd toseemedoit fine!
Ride 'em Chuang Chuang!
You dirty dog!
Er...panda!
(NSFW if you're a panda)
Heck, if you're a panda your work is to breed more pandas!
Looky mama, the teddy bears are goin' at it.
Dissatisfied with his first portrait, The Duke demanded another...
Brilliant, Leftennant Kit!
Nice use of the new nick-name there petey. Cheers!
He looks sad. I think he misses his bucket.
His bucket is in the tree, just out of frame. Don't worry.
great painting, loot'nant.
Is it clean? Because maybe there's some gunk in it and he can't sit in it.
*frets*
Maybe he's outgrown his bucket! We must meet in D.C. and take him a new one.
To the Batmobile!
*swat*
Batmobile. Pfft. Crazy Canucks. Monkeymobile! Mooonnnkeeeeyyy!
We also would have accepted Pandavan.
my aunt had a fiat panda back in the '80s, complete with "panda markings" paint job. damned if i can find a photo of a similar model though.
You can't have the van, but you can have the brochure!
Also, kit--I mean Lieutenant Fisto, that painting is pandatastic!
Don't worry, I've already alerted the folks at World Wildlife Fund to your copyright infringement.
HOLEE SHIYAT!!!Adopt-A-Panda! One for $25, twofer $50!
I'm naming mine Pi Pi and Pu Pu!
OOOO! I'm adopting me a pair of snow leopards! I'll need a large litter box, though.
And a suit of armor.
And one of those little feathers on a stick.
The kitties look so sweet when they play with a feather on a stick.
Better put a whole chicken on that stick.
To swat a stick chicken
You've gotta be quick an'
fast on your big kitty feet
But pandas like eatin'
Bamboo with their feet an'
Paws all rolled up and sweet
(((!!
you can buy a dvd of the documentary pete mentions above.
Follow two topsy-turvy seasons of panda mating at the Smithsonian National Zoo, where female Mei Xiang and her mate, Tian Tian, finally succeed in giving birth to a panda cub. And watch as the littlest member of the family, Tai Shan, learns to feed, play and explore his strange, new world.
Tell me, pretty panda,
why is it ye wander
away from the camera
positioned yonder?
Don't be so shy.
We'll feed ye bamboo
if ye'll only lettuce
get a good look at you.
Praise not The Duke
Nor wither cajole
His Fuzzness redoubts
A noble panda Soul
Without which we wonder
Would not
Nor ponder
And yet he would chew
Roll over
And wander
He's a little bit boo
And a little bit bam
We'll watch as he chews
On the ol' PandaCam
The Curious Panda
The Pandas all have rings of black around their eyes, you know.
Can you guess how they got them? Well, many years ago
A Panda was so nosy that he had to peep and pry,
And he looked through someone's keyhole when the paint was not quit dry.
Around each eye he had a ring of sparkling, fresh, black paint,
And all the other Pandas thought that he looked very quaint.
They lined up by the hundreds-to peer through the same crack,
To copy him, and that is why they all have rings of black.
from 4to40.com
Why is His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV so spoiled nowadays?
Because his mother panda's to his every whim !
Parenting isn't a black and white issue these days!
Eat my goal!
I can't bear another round of puns!
I hear what you're saying, butter'll bet you dont really mean it!
Cry Wolf! Ahaaa!
*adjusts hearing trumpet*
I can't bear another round of puns!
Lara: Ursa usually not this cranky. What can I do to square it with you?
Nice ones, GranMa!
**gives Capt. a big GranMa hug and then gooses him**
*looks on, seething with jealousy*
Ahh, come on over here, Kit.
**puts on rubber gloves**
**gives Kitfisto a goose, standing well back**
duck duck?
*eggs pete on*
*grins impishly*
Can we start calling her Mother Goose?
Only if you start calling me Daddy Luuurvre.
Lieutenant Daddy Luuurvre?
Well, you have to admit it has a certain ring to it...
**picks up Flagpole**
**gooses Kit**
*rubs butt*
*secretly likes it*
Lieutenant D.L. Buttrub. Nice ring to it.
I like it. Reflects the 'renedade cop' side of my personality.
renegade obv.
*first comment on a Monday morning...*
You're off the case, Buttrub!
*throws badge on table / keeps gun / goes even more renedade*
"You're such an ass, Buttrub. Now get out of here, you bum, before I can you!"
The cheek of it!
*Turns tail / exits through crack*
You're off your crack, Buttrub!
Don't fanny about, dude...
Is that any way to behave? Now I arse'k you!
Another thread driven into the crapper.
Wasn't there something about pandas or raccoons or alligators or something going on earlier?
Get over it. Justify changing the subject however you please.
Named after our own Koko and in a bucket! I saw we kidnap that cat, pronto.
And that's clearly an alligator in a panda suit immediately after having eaten a shriner. It's the turducken of the animal kingdom.
I say we kidnap that cat, even. Apparently I must preview and correct 11 times, not a mere 10.
*shakes fist*
Koko Moon von Fascination
I hereby insist that everyone address me by my new full name.
Ooooooh Kitteeeeeeez! Sugga-buggwed up in fwowerpots!
Is he doing the macarena? No wonder it's black-and-white, that picture's gotta be like 10 years old!
Dear Ms. Moon Pie,
We have reviewed your application to be addressed hereafter as "Koko Moon von Somethingorother". Your request is pending further processing and will be completed in 4-6 weeks.
Thank you for your inquiry.
*moons Koko*
The Baroness Koko Moon von Fascination will not stand for this insolence.
Careful boys, if she gets angry she can snap candybars in half like it's nothin'.
Feb. 21/06
Dear New Zealand,
China has a Panda giveaway going on, where if you give them land, they'll give you a Panda. I thought that New Zealand, being a much smaller country, might try the same sort of deal, but for baby Kiwis.
Please find enclosed three (3) hand-drawn facsimilies of deeds to property here in Canada. Please send me a baby Kiwi at your earliest convenience. My apartment isn't too big, but since a baby Kiwi is even smaller than a baby Panda, the lil' feller should be ok.
I really want a baby Kiwi because a) they're really cute, b) you have all of them and you should share, and c) I'm pretty lazy when it comes to vaccuuming, and a little flightless bird roaming under the couch should help me out with the dust cows. Its feathers look kinda greasy, so it should be able to pick up a lot of those tiny bits of leftover chips.
Please consider my offer. I don't know much about your country, beyond what I've seen in Lord of the Rings and various rugby tournaments, so if you need me to throw something else in the deal -- like a bootleg copy of Whale Rider, maybe -- I'd be happy to talk about it.
Love, Capt. Renault.
P.S. -- as Kiwis are flightless, I suppose they couldn't come by Air Mail, eh? Heh heh.
Do pandas eat kiwis?
Nah. They'll be best buds. Besides, PuPu will be in his Falun Gong cage, so as long as Stompy stays away from that, he'll be ok.
"... they get no help from their parents." Well, no wonder he looks so depressed. I'm sure the Capt. can cheer him up, though, with Kiwi jokes. But, is he willing to harvest worms and berries to feed the lil fella?
22/2/06
Dear Capt. Renault,
Contrary to popular (non-New Zealand) belief, kiwis are actually vicious attack birds that use their long narrow beak to first poke out your eyes and then suck your brains out through your empty sockets.
They do look pretty cute, though!
Much love,
New Zealand
enc.
That kiwi can see into my soul!!
*runs away*
"enc." ?
Woo hoo! Thanks, New Zealand! You're way cooler than Australia! (Maybe even the Cook Islands, too!)
nothing is cooler than the Cook islands.
Wait, what? Oohhh . . Cook islands - sorry, scratch that.
No-one does bucket like The Duke.
Both his official portraits have been sold, by the way. Spread The Duke!
No way! did you donate one to the MoFi Museum of Art and Cafeteria?
I was going to, but the constant food fights might add an unwanted patina...
Holy Cow!
That kindergarten is aces! Imagine working there!! Snowball fight and baby pandas!!!!!!
Yeah but once they found you rolling around in them they'd boot you out.
Darned commies.
I'd give them my 'sad face'. They wouldn't be able to resist and they'd let me stay. Maybe even promate me to Head Panda Tickler or something. I have no idea of what the career structure actually is in such a place of work.
The downside of working there: you have to wipe panda poo off slides. Oh, that and getting mauled.
So, this panda kindergarten -- do the pandas each need to bring a towel to spread on the floor for naptime? Only they wouldn't really sleep, and spend the whole hour trying to look up Miss Philip's skirt?
I've said too much.
Bad karma moment: I would now like to humbly apologise to Miss Taborsky for looking up her skirt in first grade. I feel so...dirty.
Well, I hope you're happy, Ralph. My head just exploded from excessive cute!
They were all fuzzy in their little fuzzy panda sleepy jammies and they were sliding back down the slide on their fuzzy little backsides!
Yea, but what about the Kiwi Cakes?
Any country that has a bird as emu-sing as the kiwi is ok by me!
*auk-ward pause*
Jeeez! Blame a girl for trying to carry on a conversation. Kangaroo think of something better?
You didn't put a NSFPWDWTSPS* warning on that link, islander!
Aw, who am I kidding? Even their poo is cute.
*Not Safe For People Who Don't Want To See Panda Scat
truly awful GramMa. Bravo!
*applause*
Panda scat?
Is that some new form of jazz?
the pandas were the original rude boys and girls.
Either I'm on the jazz, or panda scat looks like tamales.
And somewhat painful to pass as well.
Zip zat daddio scooba dee doot dee Squeeeeee!!
Biddi-iddy mah poot-poot YEAH!
zippity-fuzz zippity-fuzz regi-von teh sweet sweet cute-poot
Saw an anteater last night on PBS. It's membership-drive time, so they truck out the good stuff from the vault. Last night, it was 'Color me Barbra', a tv special by the Streisand done when she was 23, 24, and not broadcast in the 40 yrs since.
Anyway, point is, Babs was doing this circus medley, singing with tigers and elephants and uncooperative penguins and such, and in the medley, she sang to an anteater. "Weeeeee haaaave / so much in com-mon / it's a phen-om-enon..." from Gypsy. Stroking its long nose.
Which only goes to show why I was watching Babs in the first place -- she was still young and fun then. That Barbra is worth watching.
Not that this matters in the slightest. I figure a little derail is of no consequence to the integrity of this thread anymore...
Look at him standing and walking! Like a little Rory Calhoun!
hehe good one Koko
It's a Miracle!
The Duke has been seen on a single strand of human hair! Squeeeeealujah!!
via j-walk blog
I'd thought it'd be on the end of a strand of hair -- now THAT would have been impressive.
This, less so.
What, the thought of a panda that much closer to your brains doesn't fill you with shock and ahhhh?
Our very own Duke makes it big in the latest issue of Smithsonian, along with a fackskinatin' part about the baby panda labs . .
See! I mean, Squeee! Learning from Tai Shan
Also, there's a part about how the panda diverged from the bear genetic tree about 15 to 25 million years ago and how they're vegemetarians.
Cool.
Sending the Duke back to China is going to be a very, very hard thing to do.
I know it's for the best, what with panda-pals and food and all that, but still.
Gonna miss the lil' guy.
*sniff*
Pandas are vegetarians with odd thumbs, as Stephen Gould pointed out.
Humph! How insulting to the pandas.
Pandas think we don't wear enough eye makeup.
MonkeyFilter: I figure a little derail is of no consequence to the integrity of this thread filter anymore...
When I was in DC recently, I went to pay homage to the Duke of Squeeeee.
He was in a tree.
I mean, wayup in a tree. A good 20 feet or so. They'd put metal sleeves around the trunks of all the trees in the enclosure to prevent him from climbing them, but nevertheless, there he was.
I assume he got down OK, but I wonder who they call if the panda gets stuck in a tree?
(looks like those BeeBrowser problems haven't quite gone away...
pfft. noob.
o good grief! I am triply damned, I see
The Werzog cannot stand against The Trinity Of Bees.
A youthful Panda, in his prime,
Decided he would like to climb.
Although they'd Panda-proofed the trees,
That could not stop the Duke of Squeee.
"I think I can! I think I can!"
Declared the nimble, swift Tai-Shan,
And every higher branch he won
Delighted all the lookers-on.
*Round of a-paws!!
Eh!
EH??!!
Well, I quite liked it! ))) to TUM!
Sorry you didn't like it kit - maybe it was more for adults, hm?
*grumble*
A double helping of bamboo for TUM!
I'm sure kitfisto will understand when he's older
A trio of bees
A tree-o of Squeees
A kit full of pun
A thread full of fun
An online epistle a dance in the thistle a merry old whistling tune!
A panda who howls at the moon!
Tra la!
A panda who howls at the mooooooooon!
Company exit R, enter Quidnuncithes
Precious nonsense! )))) to the Petebest Chorus!
Mmmmmm, that's the Petebestess!
Petes has bested himselves!
He’s growing faster than the other U.S. cubs, and he has displayed certain behaviors sooner than expected. In late January, the precocious 6-month-old scent-marked for the first time, a record.
Hell yeah - Duke: 1 Tree: 0
D'ya think he had to squeeee-ze it out?
Eh?
EH??!!!!
Sweet like chocolate!
HA! "Bamboo-zled"!! Oh TUM!
*snif* Hoo! hee hee! Oh dear!
Ah! *wipes eyes*
Ah hah. Ohhhhh. Say kit, if you're having trouble with the homework, take a look at TUM over there. That's just some fine commentary. You could learn a bit, y'know.
*skips towards the gun cabinet*
"Bamboozled!" I didn't even notice that!
THOSE are the best ones -- the ones on time delay! Bravo, TUM, bra-vo.
))) TUM and MCT!!! your fine puns certainly bear repeating.
Indeed! They're really Shan-thing!
Oo and it's a Tai between roryk and the Capt for the win!
Panda!
*hands Queen Of The Thread Crown unhesitatingly to Koko*
That's...that's just stunning genius. The brevity, the penetrating insight, the Noel Coward-esque wit, the allusions to the struggles of life in the wild.
*wipes a silent tear away*
*cracks thread door, tosses in tear gas, slams door
*slips on army surplus gas-mask that he always carries with him, just in case, skips happily around the other convulsing monkeys*
*surprised that being from the suburbs, he doesn't know how to huff gas*
Stuck for ideas for that next fancy dress party?
Go as The Duke's angry big brother!
GAH!!
*covers head/brain parts*
kitfisto, are you my Mummy?
Only if this is the prelude to some filthy sex game.
AwwhrrrooOOOOOOO!! Ow! Ow! OWwwwoooooooo!!! *cough**cough*
/sputtle
Why don't pandas howl at the moon? They should, y'know. Perhaps they're biding their time . . .
Pandas are biding their time
Planning the perfect crime
Then they'll howl at the moon
And sing a rude tune
And this is the end if my rhyme
pandas live in the mountains
among the trees
and though they might do
anything they please
what they like best
is to eat bamboo
in a quiet grove that's far away
from me and you
What's that happy sound?
Squeee all around
This is what they thinked
Pandas ain't extinct!
Chew that bamboo
That you do
So well!
If the scarcity of Pandae
Is highly overrated
Need Mr. Tian Tian
Really have Mei-ted?
From the zoo's website:
"Tai has the prettiest panda paws we have ever seen!"
Oooooh, Squeee! Him gotses pweddy pandapawseses! Yesssshimdoes!!!
SQUEEEEEEEE-ALERT!
Ooooooooooh, hims gots'em chubby-chubby cheekies and a fatsy widdle bottom, yes he does!!
*giggle* GwamMaaa!
velly intalestink via link:
Panda loans haven't always worked that way. In the 1980s and early '90s, some short-term loans from China to U.S. zoos seemed to be more about China's rental fees and zoos' admissions income than conservation. Sexually mature animals were shipped to institutions that couldn't offer breeding opportunities. Some critics even accused the Chinese of capturing wild pandas just to build up their rental stock. The controversy pushed the Fish and Wildlife Service to declare a moratorium on panda loans of any kind until it worked out a new set of giant panda import regulations. "We had to step back," Stansell says, "and find a way to use our permit process as a conservation tool."
In 1998 the FWS declared a bold new policy: If U.S. zoos wanted pandas, they would have to become partners with China in giant panda conservation. China needed the help. Its conservation agencies needed information—basic science about panda diseases, hormones, social skills, and needs for space and privacy. In China's zoos and breeding centers, caretakers needed training to help pandas having trouble with mating, to combat parasites and infections, to bring up babies, and to make sure pandas were getting optimal chow. China's cash-strapped central government needed money to help pay for expanding and improving its network of nature reserves, and for the enforcement essential to transforming a reserve from an outline on a map into a genuine haven for wildlife. Today, to qualify for a panda import permit, a U.S. zoo has to design a research program that benefits wild pandas, and it must also help China pay for its own panda projects.
Panda loans haven't always worked that way.
At first glance, I though that said “Panda loins haven’t always worked that way.”
basic science about panda diseases
So... “pand-emics?”
Ah. His own fruitsicle.
Bless.
MonkeyFilter: His own fruitsicle.
Why won't some lady panda have another baby? I miss watching him little tiny baby panda self on the webcam.
from the Washington Post article:
The zoo plans to breed Mei Xiang again in the spring and will resort to artificial means if necessary, perhaps experimenting with thawing frozen sperm from Tian Tian or a male panda at the San Diego Zoo, a technique that would make it easier to breed genetically diverse offspring without moving the animals to different zoos.
"We still have hopes that our male will get the job done, but it's nice to have options," Howard said.
Incidentally, last time I saw Tian Tian he was rolling around, playing, eating bamboo with his toes and generally being too cute for words-- and no one was taking any notice. It was all about the Duke, sole monarch of the realm of Squeeeeeee.
Does Tian Tian have "his own fruitsicle?"
Hims was eating bamboosies wid his ickle-cutesies toeseys?
Squeeeeeeeee!!
*pees on floor, chews up roryk's good shoes in heartbreakingly cute manner*
*never uses newspaper on a puppy, but gets it out and rolls it up just for Pete.
Rub his nose in it, GramMa!
Petes are so cute when they're little, but then they grow up.
"A panda cub born last week in a breeding centre in Southwest China's Sichuan Province has received a special birthday gift, its own blog"
(In Chinese, but plenty of pictures)
Wow, that panda gave birth to a ferret! I didn't know they could do that!
*bookmarks*
Oooooh, whooooozabiteebabee wiv him tiny teffses? Whooooooooza... OW!
Pandas are, in fact, fairly vicious. There is a famous video of an asian guy at some zoo, probably in China or wherever, sitting with his back against the bars of the panda enclosure. A large panda comes up and tears the shirt off the guy as he, screaming, tries to escape. The panda kept the shirt, apparently toting it around for a day or so as a kind of trophy.
And don't get me started on drop bears.
Drop bears?
It's an Australian marsupial, closely related to the Koala. Steve Irwin did a show on them once. Only animal he didn't want to get near to. They're vicious. Carnivores. They drop onto prey from above. My Great Grandfather was actually mauled by a drop bear. Very sad story, he eventually died from his wounds.
They are absolutely deadly.
> And don't get me started on drop bears.
seems to me that australia has cornered the market on dangerous critters: spiders, snakes, crocs, jellies, sharks, octopi, and now carnivorous marsupials.
We have even seen her begin to focus on her keepers when we check in on her. If she happens to be awake, she will lift her head and look right up at you. Sometimes she will even try to orient her body in your direction.
Yeah, mumbling 'Must eat brains' as she does so...
Yesterday I made a pilgrimage to the Zoo to behold the Duke of Squeeeeee. It was a rainy day, so he was in the indoor part of his enclosure, sitting on top of some rocks eating bamboo in the cutest way possible.
It was a rainy day, and me and my brother Ra-oul went to see the Pandas at the zoo...
/shakes a little salt on pete(s)'(s) brain(s) for the baby pandas
Those pandas are so cute, I just want to eat them up!!
*adds pandas to ice cream, picks up spoon
I don't want to start a riot here, but...
EIGHTEEN BABY PANDAS NEED BABY PANDA NAMES!!!
DIBS ON CAPT. RENAULT JUNIOR!!! (Or Commander Renault, if you prefer.)
And there are already too many petebests, so don't even try.
I vote for "Pandora."
'Cause they're pand-orable.
*cricket*
*cricket*
Okay, I'd like #13 please. He's a fighter, but a little bit sleepy:
Features: he was found in the wild in Baoxing, abandoned by his mother. He has a wide and round mouth, is a little bit introverted and falls asleep easily.
Oh my GREAT BUTTERSTICK IN THE SKY!!!!
I can't choose. Can I just roll around in them all?
What is that stuffed...otter(?)...some of them are laying on?
However, I will not budge.
Well, good. She can my my Pan-dora and I will feed her and cuddle her and take her for walks clean up after her and everything.
Well, if smt has dibs on #17 already, I'll go for #16.
...doesn't play with her mother very often. Instead, she prefers chewing bamboo alone in a corner.
I think she should be called Goth-goth.
Oh they'se found li'l petejunior! And li'l pete_bestjunior and petetina and peter_the_best and pandapete (he can't be beat, y'know) and . . .
Hurting his love life? Usually, chicks dig scars. And that's one hullava scar.
And yes, it seems I'm completely capable of making sexist generalizations on International Women's Day.
Dangit! I'm used to getting scooped by tha H-dogg, but now Louie?? Man, I gotta get up earlier or . . . drink more caffiene . .
Yeah, probably more caffiene . . .
I enjoyed that much more in the original French.
('sur le weekend' - arf!)
Of course they're cute now. Come the first snows it'll be a killing frenzy...
Mechanised Squeeee: Robot Panda for rescuing wounded soldiers.
(Yes, I know the actual article only refers to it as "bear robot"... but it's black and white and cute, so it's got to be a panda, right?)
Yeah, I can see it now - all the medics saying, Well, this leg wound looks pretty bad, but where's his brains!!???
"...said a woman surnamed Zhou..."
Lazy reporting on the part of the Associated Press, or just a reporter taking a safe bet?
Next up: When pandas go bad.
Not (strictly speaking) a panda, but another Happy Event at the National Zoo: Baby anteater! with video where it rides around on its mother's back! Aaaaaaawwwwww.
for those of us with sloooooower connections:
the squee resides here
Awwwwww, wook at his widdle tongue!!!
For now, Magnuson [keeper] just calls it "Little Schnozzy."OH, THE SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
The Squee abides.
Check out his racing stripes!
Ooh, thanks for the alternalink, BlueHorse! Those are great pictures of Little Schnozzy.
*dies from squeee*
Ooooh, him so happy ridin' 'round on him Mamma back!
I've seen something similar in opticians' - you put on the new glasses, take a photo, then put on your prescription lenses to look at the photo. Unfortunately, this is getting necessary for me.
Unfortunately, they can't show you what your frames will look like with the coke-bottle lenses inside .... thank goodness for the current trend of Buddy Holly-esque thick plastic frames.
ButtCam:
"It gives you a perspective that you can't find any other way,"...
jeans for between $135 and $900
Yup, that's a perspective I'll never have--my ass in a $900 pair of jeans.
'"It gives you a perspective that you can't find any other way," said Kip Merritt, a 50-year-old interior designer who was checking himself out in front of the camera. "What other choices do you have? A three-way mirror?"'
Oh. My. God. A THREE-WAY MIRROR?! How far on the archaic side of gauche can you get? Can I say rocks and chisels here, people?
...15-year-old had jumped over a 4-foot, 7-inch barrier...
...had climbed into the panda enclosure out of curiosity...
No, he climbed in because he was a little shit, and I'm sure he's a little shit at home and at school, too.
...he was so viciously attacked that his bones were showing. Chunks of flesh were left behind in the ambulance...
After working with fifteen year olds all day, every day, I'm tellin' you, if I could, I'd be attackin' like that if someone invaded MY home territory.
Bet he doesn't love teddys any more.
You go, Gu Gu.
Pandas rock.
Last week I watched a Curious George episode with rorykjr1 (welcome to how I spend my spare time).
The episode is "Zoo Night" and it starts with George watching a pandacam of the baby panda at a local zoo.
Eisbärchen! Ach, sie ist sehr mit der SQVEEEEE!!!
"Eis" can also mean ice cream in German so now I'm thinking disturbingly of a little squirmy baby bear made out of butter pecan.
For for those looking for squee of a different kind, check out the story right beside that one: Chilean subway stripper arrested.
Seems like such an obvious thing, in hindsight -- you've got the poles right there. And more stories should end with strippers being hauled away in a paddy wagon...
My kit, but he's GROWN!
Very squeeeeebigulous!!
For some reason the pic was set to "width=1600". No longer.
Also, The Duke's eyes make him look like a person in a panda costume, reenacting a cowboy movie where he's been caught red handed by the Sheriff.
Sorry for more pictures, I know this thread is already slow, but...
Must. Have. Antidote.
for the squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
*GramMa dies of teh kyute*
Aww... you could sit on top of them on the couch and not even notice, they're so small.
Why do they look like penises?
*finally understands TUM's frigidity*
Strange that a human is handling those newborn cubs. When the Duke of Squeee was born, the keepers were very careful about not disturbing the mother and cub for the first little while, even for a vet check.
I know that the modern practice with panda twin births is usually to leave one cub with the mother and hand-rear one. Wonder what they're doing in this case.
I wondered about that, too, Pallas. Perhaps there was an overriding reason to examine them, and then the handlers will allow mom and nature to proceed.
These little guys in Canada are red pandas, deemed to rare to let nature proceed on its own. They were be raised by hand for 30 days. What a shame. Methinks that's not so good for the panda baby bonding.
Kitfisto:
You MUST submit that to http://icanhascheezburger.com
GramMa sez so!
Because I LOLed.
Just another gratuitous panda pic.
*waves madly back at the baby panda*
And how about a little panda squeeeeeeeeking to warm your cockles?
Awwww hell...
Baby Red panda adopted by the cat has died.
The cub was found lifeless early in the morning on Thursday 17 July. A post-mortem examination has revealed that its windpipe was filled with milk and that subsequent suffocation was the cause of death. A true tragedy, as the young panda was in good health. Its adoptive mother and four sibling kittens are keeping well.
Anyone have some squeee???
SMT: Hopefully this will keep your heart from breaking before we get the emergency squee team in!
A tiny tree-shrew that lives on alcoholic nectar could - pound for pound - drink the average human under the table
woooo! *hic*
You wants pandas? I gots pandas.
Looky at the red panda:
Hooray for the National Zoo! I took pictures of the regular not-red pandas too, but for some reason never posted any.
Oh and there's a cute lil' naked mole rat in that photostream too, if you care to look...
Ahhhhh! pandas!
Ack! nekked mole rattys!
Well done, Mr 5 F. Fish.
FROGS, consarnit!
Mr. 5 F. FROGS!
A Goodbye to Tai Shan
*snif* You'll always be *my* His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot IV!
Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
Au revoir, His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot IV!! Safe trip back!
Is sad.
"Tai has brought so much good karma," ...
Bye bye, karma.
Farewell and safe travels, Your Dukeness.
To cheer everyone up, here are swimming sloths!
Panda-monium with pictures of His Fuzzness and Mom on the Duke's last day in Washington, at the bottom of the page.
Damn Daily Mail, we did the Panda-monium gag here, like, five years ago. Pffft.
Duke of Squeeeee emerges from quarantine in China.
"We will give him enough freedom to reproduce. As soon as he becomes mature enough ... we will provide him different sex partners for him to choose."
""Americans are too emotional about Tai Shan," said Wu Daifu..."
Gone are the days of custom-made birthday cakes, waterfalls and fans cheering his every move. Chinese officials here say that they feel no need to make special accommodations for Tai Shan in housing, food or language. If conditions are not to his liking, he'll have to adjust."
For Tai Shan, voyage to China is a trip to obscurity and sex
Oh, he'll adjust alright. Now it's all panda porn, all the time.
Think he'll miss us? Hardly!
The Duke of Squeeeee is now the Duke of Wheeeee!
Otters are adorable, but these are our new TWIN PANDA overlords
Double awesome videos topped with squeeful awesomesauce and served with two sides of awesome!
Poor pandas wanted to wrestle on their swing, but their swing was broked.
Why did they put the slide on the concrete walk? Poor pandas. Ouch!
This thread is just pandering... or panda-ing...
And why a wooden slide? Slivers could happen. but these guys are Sooo happy.
Breaking news: The panda who started this thread, Tai Shan, now has a new baby sibling.
Paging our petebest!
This panda needs a name: STAT*
WE DEMANDA PANDA CAM!!!
Who can forget His Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV
this bagthese pants over your head. Too much panda can make anyone feel titchy. You need just a little rest. We'll watch the pandas together later.'''''████████''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''▄▄▄''''''' ''''███████████''''''''''''''''''''''''████████'''''' '''''████████████▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄''''████████████'''' ''████▀▀▀▀'''''''''''''''''''''''▀▀▀▀▀████████████'''' ███''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''██████'''' █'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''██▀▀''''' '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''▐▌'''' '''''''''''█████''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''▐▌''' '''''''''████████'''''''''''''''████'''''''''''''▐''' ''''''''██████████''''''''''''████████''''''''''''█'' '''''''███████████'''''''''''██████████'''''''''''█'' ''''''''███████''''''''''''''''█████████''''''''''██' '''''''''▀▀▀▀'''''''''''''''''''███████''''''''''███' ██'''''''''''''''''''▄▄▄'''''''''████'''''''''''█████ ████'''''''''''''''██████'''''''''▀▀'''''''''''██████ ████████████'''''''▀█████''''''''''''''''███████████' ██████████████'''''''▀▀''''''''█████████████████████' ████████████████''''████'''''███████████████████████' █████████████████''''▀▀'''█████████████████████████'' ██████████████████████████████████████████████████''' ██████████████████████''''''██████████████████████''' ████████████████████'''''''''''██████████████████'''' ██████████████████'''▄'''''''▄'''███████████████''''' ██████████████████''██▌'''''▐██''██████████████'''''' █████████████████'''▀▀'''▄'''▀▀'''█████████████'''''' ██████████████████''''''███'''''█████████████'''''''' '█████████████████'''''''▀''''''█████████████'''''''' '''██████████████████'''▀▀▀'''█████████████'''''''''' '''▀████████████████████▄▄▄▄█████████████''''''''''''MonkeyPandaFilter: Who else has made us laugh and melted our hearts so effectively of late?Tian Tian and Mei Xiang'sHis Fuzzness, The Duke of Squeee, Reginald "Sweet" von Tehcute-PootPoot, IV's supply comes from a farm in Maryland. But the usual driver is sick. Can you transport their treats? All you need to do is steer through some questions about these adorable animals. Each correct answer will bring the truck closer to the National Zoo.████████████████████████████████████████████ ██ The ███'███████████████'████ 28" ██ ██Duke of██'''███''''''████'''███ 15.5 LB ██ ██ Squee ██████'''''''''''██████████████████ ██ has a ████'''▄'''''''▄'''████████████████ ██ Posse ████''██▌'''''▐██''████████████████ ████████████'''▀▀'''▄'''▀▀'''███████████████ █████████████''''''███'''''█████████████████ █████████████'''''''▀''''''█████████████████ ████████████████'''▀▀▀'''███████████████████ ███████████████████▄▄▄▄█████████████████████ ██████████████ █ █ █ █ ███████████████ ██████████████ █ █ ▀ █ ▀██ ▀ ███████████████ ██████████████ █ ▀ █ ▀▀███ ███████████████ ████████████████████████████████████████████Dear Wen JiabaoDear Premier Wen JiabaoDear ComradeComrade I have avery smallcompact and bijou apartment I am willing to annex to the glorious People's Republic of China in return for a baby panda. In fact, I already have some bamboo on my terrace, so thelittle 'unspanda's dietary needsare already sortedcan be taken care of in an appropriate manner.pet pandacomrades. It was quite easy, really, as they hold themselves remarkably still with theirexcellentdissident motor control.threadfilter anymore...chewing gum!pandums!harpoontranquilizer gun. I'll handle this. *aims at the PeteBeast.