August 01, 2005

This is not a walking stick.

Dear Value City I am writing to complain about that fancy walking stick you sold me. I had just loaded it up with the supplied darts when a sudden gust of wind came and blew them out. They narrowly missed my wife and lodged in the family cat. I think you should recall this product and in future affix a large sticker saying "This is not a walking stick" so that it doesn't happen to anyone else.

posted by tellurian 19 years ago
  • Yes, it's so obviously a walking stick.
  • Consumers may have mistakenly purchased the dart guns thinking it was a decorative walking stick, posing the risk of injury if someone used the gun for its intended purpose. What? The risk of injury if someone uses the gun for it's intended purpose has nothing to do with what it looks like. The extra danger is from someone using it for unintended purposes (as a walking stick, it should probably break under a persons weight). That is a really nice looking dart gun though. If someone is unhappy with their walking stick purchase, I'll be happy to take it from them.
  • Ah the Indonesian African blow dart pipe. We must come to expect more of this in the future in our globalised world.
  • Get yourself some curare or better still some cyanide, hobble down to Bush's latest public appearance, and you've got yourself a good assassination option.
  • *Runs to the nearest Value City store in hopes that some are still on the shelf*
  • $5 is cheap, no?
  • Five dollars seems way cheap to me! I'd join sugarmilktea in the quest 'cept there isn't one near me and this would be the one time that a disinterested 16-year old store clerk would actually get his job done...that is, after he gets off break from getting his employee discount on some decorative walking sticks. Then he'd get back to that important fax his boss passed on.
  • What a bummer to be frantically trying to find your Blow Dart Gun to teach that pesky paperboy a lesson he'll never forget about throwing the morning edition on the lawn, only to find that Gramps has hobbled away with your trusty BDG! Blow Dart Guns don't kill people, people with Blow Dart...um, people walking with the tenuous assistance of Blow Dart Guns...no...inhaling instead of exhaling when using a Blow Dart Gun kills people...or is it...never mind.
  • GAAAAAK! *cough cough cough*
  • I don't think it could be quality like a real dart gund at those prices. If I remember correctly, it cost us like $50 wholesale to buy ours' back in the day. Unless blow dart tech has improved like computer tech, there isn't really any way that these could be more than just novelty.
  • Can novelty shoot something across the room? That's all I'd need to know.