July 27, 2005

• Man, this is gonna be some war! I can't wait to see the uniforms!
• Two of the more progressive nations in the world having a blue with each other. I can just see it now, intercontinental ballistic cakes & decent food being flung around.
• I think if all invasions had to be led personally by the country's Defence Minister, the world would have less wars. Or more psychotic Defence Ministers. One of the two.
• I hope the two exhaust all of their options in the United Nations before doing anything rash.
• Unleash the poutine!
• It's not like we have a wide range of opponents to choose from when it comes to territorial disputes. This should prove to be a refreshing change from the norm; as a sign of solidarity, I will be boycotting flaky pastries with jelly centers, and encourage my hoser brethren to do the same.
• I only hope that the inevitable Viking kitten assault halts at the forty-ninth parallel.
• We're not gonna let those yummy jam-filled pastry people have our tiny frozen rock!! We'll fight until tomorrow afternoon if we have to!! Who's with me? I made coffee!!
• I'm sure Canada is "very soory". That is to say, probably not sorry at all. Canada has become increasingly assertive about its sovereign claim to the Arctic because of global warming's potential impact on mining and shipping. It's for your own good! This hurts me more than it hurts you!
• In the interest of Canadian patriotism, the yummy jam-filled pastries served in the cafeteria of Canadian governmental buildings will hereby be referred to as freedom pies.
• /collapse
• The terrorists hate your freedom pies!!!1 Oh, I'm sorry, the terrorists ate your freedom pies. My mistake.
• DROP THE POUTINE LARD MOUNTAIN ON THE SMALL DANISH CAKE HEADS! YOU SORRY WHEN YOU SEE YOU DANISH UNDERWEAR FLAP THE NORTH POLE. HA! HA! WE LAUGH. LIKE IT?
• Canada, FUCK YEAH! Taking over the world one uninhabited arctic island at a time! Canada, FUCK YEAH! We eat Danish (mostly cheese) for breakfast, so suck on my balls!
• Would that be Danish cheese or Cheese danish? Not that you can go too far wrong, either way.
• This is just adoreable.
• The Globe had a great little side article on this yesterday that doesn't seem to be online; the essence was this was a fight that our (Canadian) military could probably win, for a change. They compared resources and it looked like it partly came down to us having more crappy old Sea King helicopters than the Danish. I can't really tell how that's an advantage. We do have more troops, though! It's actually a pretty interesting issue, since as Nika pointed out, there could be big financial rewards based on ownership of the Arctic. But the idea of a Danish-Canadian spat is still utterly hilarious, of course.
• The dispute shall be solved by attractive young Danish and Canadian girls wrestling each other in warm lard & jam, preferably clad in flimsily-attached rice paper bikinis.
• I'd like to move that all wars be fought in such a manner from this day forth. BRING THE BOYS BACK HOME, DAMMIT.
• I hope watching both governments apologize in the near future can help teach some manners to other warring countries. Of course, if it comes to some seal clubbers landing in Denmark, looking to bash some skulls, or some Vikings attacking Halifax's Citadel, well, then we're all beyond hope.
• *volunteers for "peacekeeping" duties*
• That bit about global warming gives me the jibblies, though.
• Both countries claim sovereignty over the barren rock Bee-yootiful! Didn't you shitheads learn anything from Dr. Seuss?? Arrogant incompetence and saber-rattling hoseheads. GW really has had an impact. Anyone else thinking Rushmore? I'm thinking Rushmore. All monkey hosers, will you try out the female jelly-wrestling options and get back to us with the pictures for clicky clicky pls kthxbye
• Hey Koko, is that Freedom Rock®™? Wow, man, turn it up!
• "Is that Freedom Rock, man?" "Yeah, man!" "Well, turn it up, man!"
• *nods head* yes, yes, yes this rocks! *shakes head* no, no, don't stop a-rockin'! /Homer
• A haiku: It's on four records, three cassettes or two CDs. Well, turn it up, man!
• "Is that Freedom Rock, man?" "Yeah, man!" "Well, turn it up, man!" Thank you. I'd completely forgotten about that.
• Well, given the U.S.A. claims the Northwest Passage is international waters and sailed multiple subs and ships through it without Canada's permission, we've got to start somewhere. Let's see : Prime Minster Anders F. Rasmussen or President George W. Bush. Where would you start?
• Come on, not so long ago, Canadian Forces won a hard battle against, er, a fishing boat. Then Canada paid those pesky Spaniards $41,000 in compensation, though... Still, at least in this dispute, Canadians and Danes do not appear to take things too seriously...
• I will be visiting Denmark soon and will discuss Chyren’s wrestling solution with the locals over beer, “cakes & decent food”. Perhaps I can find some volunteers who want to take on my goose-bumped neighbors to the north in a crust flinging, beer drinking kind of conflict (if the committee can agree on what outfits to wear). I will report back right after I recover from the herring, aquavit and pastry hangover.
• If we got the Sea Kings out, then we can fly to the infamous accompanying song.(real)
• My money's on Denmark.
• That's because you like to eat dirt. Only dirt-eaters put their money on Denmark. FACT!
• "We'll talk to the Danish people about their position, but our position has always been clear: It's Canada, and I went there just as I would have gone anywhere else in the Arctic," he said. Does that mean that Canada's claiming sovereignty over the entire Arctic circle? Dark times, my friend. Dark times.
• As we speak, they're constructing a giant disc to black out the sun.
• Aha! So they're mulitlingual!
• I'll make you all eat dirt, by god. All will eat dirt and DESPAIR!!!! *Does that Galadrial thing again* Ahem...
• Facing Canadian Sea Kings has gotta be fairly terrifying for any enemy, even Vikings. Man, if we get one of those things airborne and above enemy units, sooner or later the ground units would be destroyed by disintegrating hardware. Man, I wouldn't even want to be beneath a stationary Sea King, just because of parts falling off. Atsa POWERFUL psychological weapon, baby! And hey -- we haven't had a war on Canadian territory for a while now. Maybe we're due. Plus, there's that bottle of whiskey that we left, and the bottle of schnapps that they left, so it's about more than frozen tundra, right?
• As we speak, they're constructing a giant disc to black out the sun. Our Giant Panda Army has the latest in infra-red gear. (Plus the mukluks to keep their feet warm).
• Aha! So they're mulitlingual! So you mean... They could be reading what we're saying... right... now? Jene kanadischen Hunde täuschen uns nicht noch!
• Call forth the Knights who say "nich noch"!
• ekky ekky ekky!
• neeeeeee ping! and neeeeeeeeeeeee won! We will say nich noch to ye Silly Danish Kaniggets, if ye do not appease us.
• Fellow Canadian Monkeys!! I say we pass around the hat to buy this, and defend the island ourselves. Anyone else in? Anyone?...Anyone? Forget it then. I'll just go cheer on our scantily clad female wrestlers instead.
• Canada's Arctic spat with Denmark hits Internet No, it doesn't mention this thread, but it should.
• don't laugh - if the Americans were involved they wold have read the map wrongly and invasded Patagonia by now. Then got bogged down,redefined the dictionary meanings of 'invade' and 'success' before declaring "mission accomplished",wrapping themselves in a flag and falling overboard.
• Dr_Evil why do you hate America so? Is it because we're the richest nation that consumes the most energy and pollutes the most while being the most obese with a poorly funded education system and no national health coverage, a misguided anti-terrorism curtailment of civil rights and a maniacal religious extremist as president who lies to go to war kills thousands and thousands of innocent women and children, cuts veterans benefits and claims it all as a success while being cheered on by legions of brainwashed talk radio listeners? Huh? Is that it?
• Canada, Denmark agree to Hans Island process.
• Here's yer "process": me dagger at the throat of any scum-swillin' Danish blackguard tries to put 'is flag on me rock! Yarrr, I'm chokin' on me own rage!
• Yargh! And wid all that grog we left, and the grog they left, there'd be a plenty o' BURRRRRIIIIIIEEEEEED TREAAAAASUUUUUURRRRRE on the island! YARGH! AVAST, AND PREPARE TO RECEIVE BOARDERS, YE VIKING SCOUNDRELS!
• Can you keep it down? i'm trying to read my newspaper....here on Hans island.
• Will ye lend me the style section when y'r done, matey?
• They should hold the Rock Paper Scissors... Olympic event there. Every 4 years, Canada and Denmark could duke it out to see who got custody till the next Olympiad. Losing team gets to select how many gestures will be used in the next hand off. Winning team must stock up buried treasure, which is to be abandoned when they hand over their sovereignty.
• Arrrrr, the style section ye be wanting now?! Just a moment afore it was comics, and me not e'en finished the funny rib-tickling "Cathy" afore ye snatched it with yer inky graspers!
• Dude, why are you talking like a pirate? Today is the ... uh ... 17th! It's totally talk like Spicoli day, dude!
• Whoa, bitchin'! I totally crashed the thread!
• hang on, armed Canadians?
• Fook, I got caught by the time change. How embarrassing. WTF is Spicoli?
• Armed Merkins
• Spicoli, dude!
• Awesome! Totally not bogus!.... Rats. I've run out of gas.